Presence 14: I am flowing 

It’s been a JOURNEY the last few days, but guess what? I signed up for the Holden Qigong Teacher Certification Programme.

The Not this… This Instead! discernment tool was amazingly helpful. Partly because every time I did qigong, I felt ‘Yes this!’ so clearly – and that answered my question of the last session. I did masses of research and eventually was hovering over the ‘Order’ button before the $500 discount expiration deadline, and I got a notification. I looked at my phone and said to myself, ‘please let it be a sign!’   It was AP on our Whatsapp group, commenting on a pic I’d posted of L. wiped out from a session with her PT. A. wrote: “I don’t like it one bit. @L are you ok? What’s wrong with some gentle yoga? You want to get rough? How about Tai Chi?” Chi. That’s good enough for me. I signed up with a clear conscience. £2255. May I use this investment to bring blessings, healing and wellbeing to myself and to All. Amen.

And since starting the course (4 days ago – it’s all online, self-paced across a year), I’ve felt some inner balancing going on. The teaching is just perfect for me. It’s the theory of qigong which is perfect, as I’ve been practising it on and off since 2009. Lee Holden is so grounded and generous, and a good teacher. The principles of TCM (Trad Chinese Medicine) are being taught, and I’m so grateful to have these tools and practices for self-care, now and into my old age.

Can I visualise myself teaching qigong? Well, I’m used to teaching but these days only with my voice not my body! And on cerebral matters. When I imagined myself teaching, I suddenly felt myself back in the arena of doing ballet as a child and feeling the beauty of movement, and the exhilaration of being witnessed in heartfelt movement. Acting likewise. I have a 6-12 months to accustom myself to the idea of teaching qigong. And in fact, what REALLY clicked it for me was the idea of incorporating Qigong into School of Dialogue workshops. Get peace and balance in your body to be able to communicate with presence and in the parasympathetic state, and to be able to process the emotions of challenging conversations. Yes… THIS (INSTEAD)!

Also to say this, I’ve wanted to develop a daily qigong practice for years. Thank you, dear lockdown, for the precious opportunity you gave me to be able to develop routines, and to immerse myself in qigong. This teacher training would never ever have occurred to me had it not been for the extraordinary opportunities afforded to me by this precious time at home. And by Lee Holden’s subscription classes and incredible online teach training programme of 120 online teaching hours, 58 personal practice hours (eg with the video class subscription), 30 teaching hours (where we teach for free), 2 x 1:1’s with snr instructors, submission of demo video, monthly Q&As with Lee, lifetime access to resources…)

It’s time for my meditation and I haven’t let you speak..! I’m going to do a Holden Qigong mediation.. It’s called the Where Am I? Meditation. 

***Where Am I? Meditation. 10mins***

HQ Journal exercise:  Write about your experience of Qi. Think about how you feel it within and around your body.
It took time for me to relax and sense the qi in and around me, and then as Lee mentioned it activates ‘subtle whispers’ and the body’s innate intelligence to know how to work with the qi. My hands spontaneously rose up to offer radiance to my upper chest and lungs, and I felt myself unwind further. I could feel the wordless ‘conversation’ between my hands and my chest.. and my heart. It felt so wholesome, natural, beautiful. Good to be reminded we can come back to this connectedness with the qi field any time. I liked the idea that we are fish who don’t know they are in water – or humans who don’t know we’re in the qi/quantum field.

Your thoughts? Your insight? Your direction for today? It’s now Saturday..

This is Good Work. 

What shall I work with today?

Qi Gong is about Flow. Notice how you can flow. 

Ah, yes, I came across this concept in Noom of ‘satisficing’ – it’s a combo of satisfaction and sufficing. The opposite is ‘maximising’ – which is a tendency of mine, leading me to dash about at top speed and then keel over.

It made me think of the difference between gulping and sipping. Often, literally, I go for hours without drinking and then gulp a pint of water to make up for it. I’ve come to think my kidneys would much prefer me to sip across the day instead of gulping.

  • Satisfice vs maximise
  • Sip vs gulp
  • Flow vs dash/halt

Beautiful! We invite you to bring gentle flow to your day today, sipping and satisficing as you go. 

I have this sense of a historic woman of oriental origin taking tiny steps. Is that it?

Think more of a fish swimming in water – drifting, turning, being carried by the current, flowing with the stream. 

Got it. Thank you. Today I am flowing with the stream of live. I am carried by it, and I am relishing it’s movement.

I am flowing 



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