So, in my walking prayers while practising ‘Loving Myself Well’, this new phrase has come to mind on a loop: “Speak to me and through me, oh my God.” I like it. It summarises how I would like my work to function.
I am aware I meet people at their most vulnerable sometimes (either because my training touches a raw part of them, or because they are mediation clients, feeling at the end of the road and emotionally ragged).
I would like to feel that I am doing what I can to get out of my own way, and their way, in those moments, and facilitate their own journey back to themselves.
So, can you tell my more about this phrase: “Speak to me and through me, oh my God”? How can I apply it today?
Excellent question, as we can’t ‘explain’ STMATMOMG, but we can give you pointers on how to ‘apply’ it today in your meetings with people.
First of all: get still. Stiller. Drop into the parasympathetic state. That is the receptive mode where you can be ‘alive’ to what’s in the air.
Secondly: tune into the person. Get on to their frequency a little. ‘Hear’ them. You’re good at that. It’s the aut-empathy super power.
Thirdly: await your download (you’ll feel it land) and translate it into communication.
Repeat.
So. Ok. Thank you. I hear about 1) ‘getting still’ – yes. I recognise the difference it makes if I’m really tuned in to self/other before I start a conversation. I need to do that more. Yesterday, I arrived at a client call on the hop. Not the best.
The 2) tuning into the person – yes. I think I’m getting fairly good at active listening, and reflecting back to people what I’m hearing and sensing…
3) Await the download and communicate it – yes, I could give a tiny bit more space in my conversations for the ‘hmmmm’ – mulling… before we finalise things. I sense there’s a window in each chat for our receiving something more important than summing up next steps… Maybe it’s about downloading the right question, as much as anything else?
Indeed. Remember your calibrated questions? [Chris Voss] You can help people travel a little further in your conversations than you currently do.
Like A-H! My word, those are transformational conversations.
A-H are teachers. You can help people be autodidacts, through your excellent questions. It is the well-received question that allows the person to speak the truth they need to hear from themselves. That is your role. To ask the right questions.
Aha. Unexpected developments today… May I learn to ask the right questions. May I veer away from ‘leading’ or ‘loaded’ questions. May my curiosity be genuine, authentic and sincere; may I be a servant to the person’s self-learning.
A little as we do here.
So… I can talk to the person’s higher/wiser/knowing self?
B o o m.
Oh wow. What a revelation. Talk to the part of them that knows. Awesome. I love it.
Talking to their wise mind, or their future self, or their higher being… is the way to unleash the part of them that navigates their life from the perspective of the soul, in a way that will never be lost to them.
So I need to tune in to the person’s wiser self.
And see nothing else in them other than that, as it were. That is where you are communicating, drawing down the part of them that knows what is best for them.
Imagine if I spent a whole day only asking questions of people’s higher selves?!
Imagine. 🙂
Ha. Ok. Let’s play that game then. <3
May I be educated by this process, and not stumble into ego. May I learn what is possible in interpersonal communication, for the sake of goodness and learning. May I not err into any hint of manipulation or steamrollering. May I be taught these lessons so I may be of use to the wider picture of this CuspLife learning.
I am asking questions of people’s higher selves
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DAY NOTES:
Speak (only) to their higher selves, which respond best to questions and are always compassionate, forgiving and kind. To do that, you have to tune into their higher self first.
This means side stepping the human self presentation.
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Sensitive is the new Strong arrived. Perfect timing.
p12. Shaman in Costa Rica said: “It is not your job to absorb everyone else’s energy. It is not your job to rescue people at your expense convince them what is possible if I don’t believe you. Your only job is to empower yourself, to stay connected to your centre, and allow your presence to inspire others so they know what is possible in order to heal, if it’s their fate to do so.”
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Sample client question for pre-mediation meetings:
“What would you like the other person to learn/understand about you through the mediation session?”
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This is how we do the transformational work, right? We’re triggering Dialogues of Discernment in others?!
Exactly so. A carefully calibrated question will speak to and elicit a response from the person’s higher self.
Get still. Tune in. Download and communicate.
With groups too? Like my training participants today?
Sure! You know how to do that. Settle in. What do you want of you?
They want me to show them THEY are the experts.
Exactly.
And to give them space to decompress. <3