Month: November 2019

Last post we ended with this deep insight:

This is a good summary of WHAT I HAVE LEARNT IN LIFE SO FAR: I am surrounded by talented allies (and everything’s ActuallyOK)

When I started to let this concept into my consciousness, it drew up in me a renewed sense of HONOUR and RESPECT for those around me. When I sat in conversation with G in the mode of ‘looking out for talents’, I fell in awe at his insightfulness, thoughtfulness and depth. That idea of making an inventory of the talents and skills of our loved ones is epic, actually. When we are looking out for the talents of the other person, we are so very much less in the (exhausting) thinking state of  “Me! Me! Me!”. In fact, it becomes perfectly satisfactory just to sit still quietly and behold the gems in the other. What a relief!

Let’s read.

-69- The master soldiers have a saying: I dare not be the host but prefer to be the guest. I dare not advance an inch but prefer to retreat a foot. This is called marching without moving, rolling up a sleeve without baring an arm, capturing a foe without a battlefront, arming yourself without weapons. There is no disaster greater than attacking and finding no enemy. Doing so will cost you your treasure. Thus it is that when opposing forces meet, victory will go to those who take no delight in the situation. (The Tao Te Ching 69)

I’m taking away the idea of ‘marching without moving‘ here. This speaks well to my tendency to push, to innovate, to progress. And it tires me so. I really know that it’s time to stop, consolidate and be prepared to ‘rinse and repeat’ some very simple patterns in my life. Including within my work. No more ‘bespoking’ – just real adaptability within structures I know well.

Good. Now, listen…

…..Med….

Arising: ‘I am appreciating all achievement – there is no lack.’ Tell me about this.

First of all. We like to see you stop, settle, listen, breathe, wait… Do you notice what happens?

I drop into the parasympathetic state. It’s so relaxing it feels like a trance.

Alpha brain waves perhaps?

*Has a look*: https://brainworksneurotherapy.com/what-are-brainwaves. Yes!

It’s the shift from Beta to Alpha! Oh my…

ALPHA WAVES (8 TO 12 HZ)

Alpha brainwaves are dominant during quietly flowing thoughts, and in some meditative states. Alpha is ‘the power of now’, being here, in the present. Alpha is the resting state for the brain. Alpha waves aid overall mental coordination, calmness, alertness, mind/body integration and learning.

BETA WAVES (12 TO 38 HZ)

Beta brainwaves dominate our normal waking state of consciousness when attention is directed towards cognitive tasks and the outside world. Beta is a ‘fast’ activity, present when we are alert, attentive, engaged in problem solving, judgment, decision making, or focused mental activity.

Beta brainwaves are further divided into three bands; Lo-Beta (Beta1, 12-15Hz) can be thought of as a ‘fast idle’, or musing. Beta (Beta2, 15-22Hz) is high engagement or actively figuring something out. Hi-Beta (Beta3, 22-38Hz) is highly complex thought, integrating new experiences, high anxiety, or excitement. Continual high frequency processing is not a very efficient way to run the brain, as it takes a tremendous amount of energy.

If I read this every day for a month and really absorbed it, my life would be changed. That ‘excitability’ I’ve been speaking of – it’s hi-beta. And I use hi-beta to power through complex tasks. Hi-beta (or even low gamma?), I sense is my default ‘doing state’. Hence my sense of all-or-nothing working, and often (though much improved now) my dread of getting going with work – because it involved running a mental marathon.

Presumably, with alpha waves, I access my wisdom. I know I’ve become less alpha wavey in my Dialogues since letting go of the notebooks and typing here. In the past, settling in to alpha, through reading and meditating, and then writing our Dialogue was how it went, and how I accessed not only your/my wisdom, but how I tapped into alpha state daily. Can I really Dialogue with a laptop?

Of course. The learning here is about settling into alpha before embarking on any intellectual work. With alpha brainwaves, you have access to greater wisdom. An example of your greater wisdom is being in the mindset of ‘I am appreciating all achievement – there is no lack.’ 

This brings to mind my dear late cousin, an artist. I can imagine her settling before a blank canvas in the alpha state, and taking delight and appreciation in the first stroke of the paint brush. That is how I would like to start my days.

Your alpha state is truly the state of ‘Now-liness’. 

Like holiness?

Indeed. In the the state of Now-liness, all wisdom is available, and all abundance is present. There is no lack in the present moment. 

Let me get up to speed on brain waves again…

Ok, so it’s about the flow state! Yes, I recall this stuff now. Look…

“The ‘Flow Zone‘ sits around the border of Alpha and Theta.” (https://brett-peters.com/flow-state)

Aha…! And this…

Anything can be solved in an alpha state.

— Tony Robbins (via Brett Peters)

Brett Peters shares this video:

What particularly stands out in this video is author, Steven Kotler, talking about the process of getting into flow as being:

Struggle – Release – Flow

I recognise the struggle and release… it’s so uncomfortable… and yet when I’m in I can ‘do anything’ = process v quickly. BUT I wonder if I am shifting in to hi-beta, rather than alpha…………… Let me find out about Steven Kotler. Maybe he’s my next ‘Peak’ dude.

In the video, this is what he recommends:

1. “Get minimal feedback for flow… Get a feedback buddy…  Shrink down your feedback cycles as much as possible.” On his staff, he has an editor who will read over his writing every 2/3 days and give feedback (specifically on if it’s boring/confusing/arrogant). This fast feedback keeps him in flow for writing.
2. (Get masses of exercise and then) do box-breathing at 7 seconds per box side, because when you are out of breath after your 7 second exhale/hold you get an amygdala response which you can then train your mind to sit through without kicking off. “Learning to focus through the panic is how you achieve flow… You’re doubly down-regulating the nervous system through box-breathing. 
3. Creativity feeds flow, through amplified pattern recognition. Reading 25-50 pages per day, in a book on a non-fiction topic you are curious about, enhances your pattern recognition, and increases/preloads your capacity for creativity.

In summary:

• Shorten feedback cycles
• Box-breathe at 7 seconds
• Read a real book each day

This has been so good and so useful. I’d better get going for the day..! What shall I take with me? There’s been loads: talent-spotting, marching without moving, appreciating all achievement, shifting in to alpha state, getting into flow. 

‘Slow down, you move too fast…’ is the mantra of your mid-life, right? So now is the time to relax; let it all come to you. Ok? The receptive mode is peaceful, dear friend. Relax, receive, rest. 

I am in the receptive mode?

Almost. Your brain is still too spiked…

I am relaxing into the receptive mode?

There we go.

I am relaxing into the receptive mode (alpha state flow)

It’s a time to dig deep, I feel. This practice of ‘Go Calm’ and remaining in the parasympathetic state is so important. And not everyone enjoys it if I’m no longer Excitable Me. Look at this ad which came out two days about a dragon called ‘Excitable Edgar’…

https://youtu.be/r9D-uvKih_k

Bizarre timing. The moral of the ad is to channel your excitability into something apt (for Edgar, setting Christmas puddings alight), once you’ve finished burning up others’ precious things (eg snowmen, Christmas decorations). Obviously, the alternative is to learn turn one’s excitability into calm – for me, a fully grown human, at least.

Today’s reading:

-65- The ancients who practised the Tao did not use it to enlighten the people, but rather to assist them in gaining simplicity. The reason people are difficult to govern is because they are too clever. Hence, a person who attempts to govern a country by cleverness will injure it. Those who govern without cleverness will be a blessing to the land. These are the two models. Knowing these models is called the Mystic Virtue. The Mystic Virtue is deep and so far-reaching that it can lead all things back toward great harmony. (The Tao Te Ching 65)

I hear this: watch out for ‘cleverness’; develop ‘simplicity’ instead. For me, my cleverness and my excitability go hand in hand. It makes sense: there is a choice between being in the…

• Head state (intellectual, problem-solving, sympathetic nervous system, hard, clever) and being in the
• Heart state (compassionate, allowing, parasympathetic, soft, simple).

The Head wants constant change, newness, innovation, stimulation. 

The Heart understands the value of simple, repeated practices.

May I develop the Heartfulness to allow myself to settle into simple, repeated practices. May I learn to be content with ‘rinse and repeat’.

Today I found a good writer on Taoism, Casey Kochmer: https://personaltao.com/taoism/taoism-101/

And his book,  A Personal Tao by Casey Kochmer (downloadable for free here).  I am grateful he has shared his practices plus 3 explanatory notes:

My personal practice seems simple to me, as it’s something that has evolved over many years. Anyone else looking at my practice would be confused by the seemingly random way I skip between activities: Poetry, massage (giving and receiving), Jujutsu, Yoga (3 different styles), Patterning(1), Wandering, Mediation, Meditation, Love, Pastel Drawing, Dancing, Reading, Day Dreaming, Chi-Gung(2) and finally Listening. I have only really mastered three of these practices and within the rest I am just a novice or have only a very basic level of skill. The goal isn’t to become a master. The goal(3) is to flow with needs of life. If my body is feeling out of shape, I ramp up the Yoga and Jujutsu. If my body is extra sore I get some massage. If I can’t stop thinking, then I write poetry or meditate. If I have an excess of positive energy “Chi’ then I will help heal someone by giving a massage or perform some patterning. As the real world interferes unexpectedly every day, it means having access to a range of different activities permitting flexibility by matching a practice to my current needs.

1) Patterning is a term I coined for describing the practice of using a combination of patterns found in our lives to help unlock truth or ideas. Many different types of patterning exist. For example: Psychology is a form of patterning based on human mental processes. Feng Shui is patterning based on human nature, artistry and older lore. Divination is another form of patterning using I-Ching, Tarot cards or Rune stones to predict possible future events. […]

2) I highly recommend the spin-cycle-washing-machine-slap-your-kidneys movement in Chi-Gung. (Ok, I purposely forget the movement’s name) […]

3) The goal is never a goal; the purpose of any practice is supporting your essence with tools fitting the needs of the moment.

(A Personal Tao, C. Kochmer 2006 p43)

Beautiful stuff. I like the flow, the adapting, the selecting of practices according to arising circumstances, and the sense of practices being a means to creating balance, to developing harmony.

Let’s read.

-66- How did the sea gain kingship of a hundred streams? Because it takes the lower position. Hence, it is king of a hundred streams. Therefore, when True Persons are over the people they put themselves below the people by their speech. When they lead the people they stand behind the people. When True Persons are given places above the people they do not crush the people with their weight. When they take their place ahead of the people they do not obstruct the people’s progress. That is why everything under heaven supports them gladly and does not tire of them. Because they strive with no one, no one can ever strive with them. (The Tao Te Ching 66)

A good reminder that the Tao Te Ching is very much a good leadership and governance guide. Stenudd comments that this chapter points to ‘certain principles of leadership, striving not to increase people’s burdens, but to diminish them.‘ I like the image of the hundred streams flowing into the sea. I would like to have a greater awareness of the hundred streams of qi, of divine assistance, of universal goodness, of source energy flowing into our personal arenas each moment. Can my practice be one in which I learn to take the lower position and sense / catch / touch / receive some of that universal beneficence?

Sounds like a peak experience to us. 

Ha! Have we found the peak experience… in the lower position?! Awesome.

I used to think the ‘water flowing to the lowest position’ imagery was all about humility, modesty, deference, service. But maybe also it’s just the physics of an abundant life. In qigong, with the practice of Lift Qi Up, Pour Qi Down, you get a sense of the abundance of universal energy available to us if we can just still ourselves enough to receive it.

What is the learning for me today?

Why not ‘go in’ and receive the flow of universal intelligence available to you and to all? 

***SilentMed***

Settling in, images came to me of BALANCE. It felt that inner balance is not ‘feeling grounded’. It’s actually a very light, poised sensation with some inner wobble – like ‘sitting on a fence’ or ‘standing on a pole’. In ordinary life, we can sit or stand with ease, until the platform beneath us becomes very narrowed and focussed – and in mastering that physical, bodily balance on a narrow point, we must establish inner balance first. Thus this:

becomes this with the development of inner balance: 

Inner balance. Hm… I’ve often tried to achieve balance in my life by hardening routines, or pinning patterns down, or controlling my circumstances.

Inner balance begets outer balance, not the other way round. This is one of life’s conundrums, and gifts. The streams flow into the sea. By ‘being the sea’ rather than being the rushing, gushing stream, the weightedness  and solidity and balance you seek becomes the natural state. 

The rushing, gushing stream = Excitable Me?

The movement you have offered life has been well-received. Can you be at peace now? Can you receive, softly, and in balance? Can you be the frequency holder, rather than the frequency chaser? 

Oooh, man. I like that. Yes? Yes! Yes.

For years I have been striving  for balance. Ha! The opposite of wu wei. Balance arises from non-striving, right?

Balance is a state of non-striving, lightly held. 

I keep coming back to the notion of ‘sitting on the fence’. Thoughts?

To sit on the fence means to withhold judgment. There is a lot to be said for that. 

Yes, judgment is such a heavy fist upon a delicate situation. I can withhold judgment as a way of developing inner balance. It’s the ‘maybe so’ approach, isn’t it?

Maybe so. 

Ha! 😀

You mentioned the inner wobble. Sense that today. Sense how when you are developing inner balance, you will often experience an accompanying inner wobble. Learning to note and greet the inner wobble is a good practice in your development of inner balance. Softening into uncertainty is a fine practice. 

I am greeting inner wobble

 

 

 

Last time, you mentioned some words it would be good for me to revise:

‘The heart wishes for no more than to act as a channel between this world and the unseen.’

Something happened yesterday, when I was training hospital staff for the day. I prayed for some guidance as I walked to the venue. I heard: ‘Have unconditional love for each person’. My goodness: that mindset made such a difference to my day.

When having unconditional love for each person became my M.O.:

• I stopped feeling I needed to prove myself or make an impression
• I actually enjoyed people’s company
• I super tuned-in and listened to people
• I was full of admiration and warmth for everyone around me
• I was less of the ‘big I am’
• I felt my contribution was just that – a contribution to the pot, not a performance
• I felt more humble / modest / happy to be quiet

At the same time, my beautiful co-trainer did quite a lot of work on compassionate conversations, and the internal state – which underlined the principles of being in a loving state.

I reflected that, until we can drop into the parasympathetic state, we can’t show compassion, and we can’t have unconditional love. Chilling the heck out is therefore completely key.

It is about the Intention. If your intention is to Give, chilling the heck out then aligns you nicely. If your intention is to Take, then chilling the heck out becomes ‘zone out’ time. 

I think of  my friend and role model, Janet C and her absolutely getting the meaning of service, and living it…… Oh my heart.

I know why ‘taking’ / ‘giving’ has come up today. My nutritionist picked up candida in my gut, again.. A couple of days ago, I looked up what Louise Hay says about candida:

Candida: Feeling very scattered. Lots of frustration and anger. Demanding and untrusting in relationships. Great takers.

(Source: https://alchemyofhealing.com/causes-of-symptoms-according-to-louise-hay/)

Also see this: 

‘Candida is associated with feeling victimized and includes: helplessness, hopelessness, fear of responsibility, too much responsibility, overwhelming burden, suppressed rage, lack of confidence and betrayal. Often there are underlying and unconscious beliefs, such as: I am not good enough; no matter how hard I try I can’t get what I want; I’ve tried everything and nothing works; I can’t heal completely; I am not lovable, etc.’ (https://eliciamiller.com/emotional-root-cause-of-candida/)

So some context. Last week (20191104) the kinesiologist/nutritionist, Maria, did energy work (like reiki…) on my underlying causes of candida and adrenal fatigue including in relation to my rel … and it has changed everything…. as energy work does. My hunch is that the energy shift has revealed how I was ‘giving’ as a way of ‘taking’ in the rel (probably being quite demanding, but masking it as giving) and was accruing frustration and anger… which of course has now surfaced. I hadn’t been communicating properly, because of ‘fear of displeasure’ – my stuff from old. I had been energy splurging and not solving things properly… and paying for it with adrenaline. Man alive, old patterns re-emerging..

So.

How about…

I learn to get grounded, chilled, parasympathetic, inner anchored, energetically aligned (unscattered)

so that

I can actually work with unconditional love, compassion, giving, dedication, STO.

If you offer STO out of fear, need for money, hoping to win the pleasure/favour/business of others, you are scattered and you  burn out. 

If you can un-scatter or ‘gather’, if you can truly self-love, if you can grant your body peace (parasympathetic state), then the heart’s desire is granted: to act as a channel between this world and the unseen. 

I need a complete inner makeover. Oh God. I need to be healed again… And again.

You have the tools at your finger-tips, you really do. From mindfulness, to prayer, to qigong, to good eating, to nature immersion, to loving your loved ones… It is all there. Self-love, true self-love is the next step. 

I remember Matt Kahn’s ‘I love yous’.

Right. Times a thousand thousand. 

You can only love your loved ones in purity if and as you truly love your self. Does that help you learn to prioritise this work? 

Yes.

But here is your tool for today: Seek to give unto others, from a parasympathetic state. Play with that. 

Tysm. Let me quickly read  the chapter for today….

-64- Peace is easily maintained while things are still at rest. [Exactly!!] Trouble is easily handled before it starts. What is brittle is easily broken. What is minute is easily scattered. Handle a problem before it appears. Secure order before confusion begins. A tree as big as a person’s embrace begins as a tiny shoot. A terrace nine stories high rises from a shovelful of earth. A journey of a thousand miles begins under your feet. A person who interferes does harm, and those who grasp lose their hold. Therefore, the True Person acts without striving and does no harm, avoids grabbing and never loses hold. People often ruin their ventures when they are on the verge of success. So, be as careful at the end as at the beginning, and your work will not be ruined. Therefore, the True Person seeks freedom from desire, does not value things that are hard to come by, learns without scholarship, brings people back to what they have passed by, and assists the ten thousand things to find their own natures; all without daring to interfere. (The Tao Te Ching 64)

Oh my goodness, this is so very beautiful. And perfect for today (as ever).

I really hear the call to stop interfering or striving…

You can’t interfere or strive in the parasympathetic state. 

So going parasympathetic is the antidote to adding nonsense, to overcooking, to scattering, to demanding and to taking…

I know I’ve been pushing a loved one and bringing interference… in the guise of love… out of this feeling that if I don’t perform love for us it will go..? Crikey. Help me to be prepared for a more adult-adult relationship. And may my work arise out of a completely different state. Yet again, may jazz hands fall away. Oh my God, prepare me to seek to give unto others, from a parasympathetic state. May I fathom this inner state of calm. May I only act when I am in the state of calm. Show me unconditional love in my heart. Help me to work truly with compassion – not striving or interference. Oh God, heal my inner state. Please heal my energetic alignment, that I may indeed be at peace. Make my heart able to be the channel it longs to be, between the world around me and the unseen world – and let me not be attached to that in any way, but show me how to settle, settle, settle, settle…

…in to STO 2.0. 

Y. E. S.

Amen.

I am seeking to give unto others, from a parasympathetic state

****

Postscript:

I remember the last thing I said to Maria before she began her energy work was ‘Excitability! I have a tendency to excitability I really need to work on!’ I think that is the ‘scattered’, sympathetic, demanding, taking, interfering, striving aspect. It’s a helpful word to remember. Am I feeling ‘Excitable’? Ok… time to take a breath, settle into parasympathetic… especially if I am also seeking to work.

ie. Stop doing work with others (eg clients) in the excitable state. It’s not fair on them or me. Stop showing love through excitability – there’s a hard one to give up!

Trust that the world won’t turn against you if you Go Calm. 

That is massive. Ty. Absolutely nails it.

A new day. New energy. New sense of the good fortune of living, and learning the art of living. Yesterday was blessed with some good dialogue – as per your recommendations. Thank you.

Today, I am generating simplicity, upflow – and reducing excess potential. Today is a day for action. Let’s read….

-62- The Tao is to the ten thousand things what the shrine is in the home. It is the treasure of the virtuous and the protection of the wrongdoer. Good words are appreciated. Good deeds are accepted as gifts. Even the wrongdoers are not abandoned. Hence, on the day an Emperor is installed and appoints the three ducal ministers. remain where you are and make an offering of the Tao. It will be preferable to a gift of jade discs followed by a team of four horses. Why did the ancients value the Tao? Was it not because through it you can find what you seek, and because of it you can escape what is hounding you? Therefore, it is the most valuable thing under heaven. (The Tao Te Ching 62)

I love the concept of Tao being to the thousand things that which the shrine is to the home: the refuge, the sanctuary, the point of calm and reflection and prayer. So this chapter prompted me to revise my sense of what Taoism actually is, and I came across a video by this beautiful soul, George Thompson, explaining a bit about Taoism, while studying at a Tai Chi school in China with Master Gu:

Look at Master Gu’s definition of the Chinese symbol forTaoism:

Essentially:

• Yin yang
• Within ourselves
• In action

Beautiful. Inner balance in action.

I’ve always been interested in Eastern philosophy and religion, haven’t I? Ever since I went to India in 1994, I guess..? Tell me about this.

The children of this age are prompted to unite Eastern and Western knowing. 

What does the West have to bring to the East except rapacious desire for conquering, owning and commanding…?

The West brings a certain discipline in …[?}

🙁 I can’t hear it. Maybe I won’t hear it?!

The West’s ‘authoritarianism’ can be used for good, for leadership, for progress. 

Is the West yang and the East yin?

Nothing so simplistic as that. The East however offers the brightness of a mysticism which the West is frequently ‘blind’ to. 

Yes! This is what I love about the Eastern thought: its sensitivity to the mystical, to the metaphysical. Its assumption that there is far more about life than the human eye can see. Also, that its interpretation of the divine is far more nuanced than that of the traditional Western religionist.

Help me incorporate this today.

What would Master Gu do? 

Meditate. Balance his yin and yang within, and then take action, flowingly.

***14minSilentMeditation***

It is time to take action, keeping the mind on the ‘shrine’. Gather qi, gather qi, gather qi, and take action. Sometimes, being in the head or the heart too much leads to fogginess, or that ‘excess potential’. Chop wood; carry water – and the freshness of being returns. 

That ‘generating simplicity’ message again.

But in action. Take action. Small actions accrue. 

It sounds a little bit like ‘Keep busy’ or ‘Potter’.

At this time of the year it is vital (for you) to keep busy and to ‘Harry Potter’. It really is. Gather in – find inner balance – move. Chop wood; carry water. Then rest. Know when you are zoned in and when you are zoned out. Limit zoning out. Keep moving, dear soul. Keep moving. In flow. Qi flow. 

Aha! Yes. I hear you. Soft, gentle, lift up, pull down, keep moving.

Exactly: this is the tone we mean with ‘take action’. Qi flow, qi glow. 

Sweet.

What’s my phrase?

I am qi-flowing (taking action, flowingly)

Cool. Ty. x

Postscript:

Excitability: I noticed this trait in me. It’s linked to spiky, turbo-chargey aspects of me. Qi flow is an antidote to this.

Conflict: is stuck/frozen qi. So is depression, lethargy.

Qi-flow and conflict resolution are both about limiting/regulating:

• a) excitability (adrenaline, fight, flight, turbo charging, burning out, hustling to get stuff done, ‘straining at every sinew, zoning in) and
• b) frozenness/stuckness/lethargy/zoning out

Qi-flow is the antidote to the hard, unnatural (but v common for me) STOP / START

Amen.

Ktengodolor, sabes..? Digo, saben?

Que sí. Come fue tu día ayer, corazon a corazon? 

Bien. Me senti cercana a la gente con quien estaba, e un poco mas conectado a tierra tambien. Less like I was overcooking the small fish (see TTChing 60). The heart to heart work is so good – so subtle.

Muy sutil. 

Ok, so: pregunta. Do I have a story about ‘being hard done by’? Please help me see myself. Because if I do (and I have this inner inckling that this is the case) that is no fun. And it is also a blocker to heart to heart connection.

Look into the word ‘suspicion’. 

Also: ‘a belief in someone’s guilt‘

So, maybe you’re saying that I have an underlying tendency to distrust others, or believe in another’s guilt / wrongdoings. It’s just that over various years, I’ve also been profoundly naive, and failed to protect myself against the actual poor judgment (and/or nastiness) or others. Where’s the balance? Is there such a thing as a healthy suspicion?

A suspicion is only healthy if you do not hesitate to discover whether or not there is basis for your misgivings. Presumption of innocence is the fair first premise. 

So this is a much more active stance than ‘stewing in the worry that one is hard done by again’… 

Exactly. It requires… hold on to your hats… dialogue. 

Not dialogue!! Haha. Ok. Yes. I hear ya.

Let’s read.

-61- A great country is like the low lands where all the streams unite. In all things under heaven the female overcomes the male by her stillness, and because she is still she lies below. Hence, if the great country will take the low place it will win over the little country. If the little country will take the low place it will win over the great country. Thus, the one gets below and prospers and the other remains below and prospers. All that the great country wants is more people. All that the little country wants is a place for its people to go and to be employed. If each is to get what it wants it is necessary for the great country to take the low place. (The Tao Te Ching 61)

Ok this is complex and I won’t go into detail here, but my take is that I might have been overcooking the ‘small fish’ over recent months. More stillness, less rushing to fill the cup, might be wise. I may have created misunderstanding by fomenting ‘excess potential’ (Reality Transurfing term) in my 24/7 eagerness. Each country needs to have its boundaries, and its own authentic culture. Let there be two countries of equal size, with a leader in each, working bilaterally – instead of one unwieldy country with a population of two, unsure who is holding the reins…

My heart aches…

Then energise it firmly. Eyes on the Target Slide. What is it? 

Ha, yes. I need to get clear on my 12 week Target Slide. A brochure in hand!!!

Ok. I get it. Time to focus in. Enough heartache. Time to return to 12 Week Year and Quarterly Goals. Get back to TargetSlidesVille, and focus on creating, not unravelling. Use the opportunity to generate upflow. Am I right?

This brochure in hand… In the Target Slide, are you standing along in the middle of field with said brochure in hand? What’s it for? What are you doing with it? 

I am giving it to… people. Posting it out in Jan! In envelopes.

Heart to heart to heart to heart. May your work generate heart to heart connection. 

Oh thank you. Often I feel either in heart mode or work mode.

You have the opportunity to understand that STO functions as a commercial activity just fine if, if, if ‘your heart is in the right place’. 

Meaning?

Go in and find out…

***SilentMed***

Insights arising: When ‘my heart is in the right place’ it is to be found quietly blending the frequencies of peace, unity, love and light {PULL}… or rather, scrolling upwards through those different vibrations. Cool. But also, when I work with that scrolling exercise… I keep finding strong counter feelings arising simultaneously – the inexplicable fluttering shadows of old hate, rage, frustration. When I delved in there a bit, I found the inner call wasn’t so much for Healing That Stuff, so much as the realisation that self-generated complexity was what was/is keeping me from keeping my heart in the right place (and thus being able to experience PULL deeply). What’s the antidote to complexity? Simplicity. (Hello, old friend) Surrendering to simplicity, I sensed, was/is the route to feeling one’s heart in the right place consistently.

…And therefore to being able to trust oneself in the world. 

Ha! So when my heart is in the right place – as a result of surrendering to simplicity – I overcook my small fish less – and I create less excess potential – and I can access the experience of PULL – and I no longer feel hard done by or blameful of others…?

The heart heals in the contemplation of love (or ‘PULL’), and the healing circumstances are extremely simple ones. 

Generate simplicity.

Generate simplicity. 

I am generating simplicity

Postscript:

I remember the gruelling ‘It takes two to ruin a relationship’ work in divorce coaching.

Spotting my contribution to difficulties was/is crucial.

I can recognise that in past stories (of being ‘taken advantage of’ financially), I created excess potential by pouring in energy (out of fear of rejection/abandonment… no, out of fear of sparking ‘displeasure’ or causing dismay). But my pouring out of seemingly-endless energy and excess potential gave the impression  to the other person that there was endless energy to impart on my side. Energy = money, goodwill, turning-a-blind-eye etc. It was up to me to spot that lashing buckets of energy (to the degree it actually gives you burnout/adrenaline deficit) is not the way to secure a relationship. In fact, it puts the other person in a fantasy world about you where you (‘I’) create the impression I have no personal need/boundaries/limits. What happens eventually? The other person expects more than I can give, and then when it’s not received (or even when it is) leaves despite our now being bound together economically… and my financial collapse ensues. Am I am left ‘broken’ but also, as I remembered yesterday ‘livid’. Such a strange, visceral word – like I can feel it in my liver. Anyway, it’s a feeling of anger. Anger is a sign of the need for better boundaries.

So, what’s the lesson? Well, how about I install and maintain my personal boundaries at the beginning of things, for the safety, clarity and authenticity of all. And if their displeasure/dismay arises, we deal with that. And maybe in the dealing, we create truer, deeper intimacy and honest connection.

Yes, maybe, in being a 24/7 -boundaryless-energy-splurge-fest I was actually preventing true connection. I was anticipating and offsetting and diverting any displeasure (because the idea terrified me)…. so the result was, we could never talk through realities, because on the surface there was never any need to. In effect, I’d made us one seemingly unified mind. Harsh for both involved actually…

A relationship is a space which supports the sovereignty of each individual, if and when each one is ready and willing to step into their sovereign shoes. And that ‘stepping into sovereignty’ is purely a personal/individual choice, opportunity and responsibility.

Simple. 😉

I am generating simplicity, not excess potential

‘Daily, daily, daily heart to heart connection.’ There is so much to learn and practice here.

And ‘I am so lucky…’ (Peak 122) = epic and opening and liberating phrase. There is so much to learn and practice here.

I’m off to visit my Dad today, followed by dinner with a dear friend. So just a brief check-in this morning. Let’s read…

-60- Governing a big country is like cooking a small fish. Let all under heaven be governed in accordance with the Tao, and demons [or ghosts: ‘The ghosts, kuei, were the restless spirits of deceased ancestors’ Stenudd] will not manifest their power. It is not that they lack power but rather they will not use their power to harm the people. They are not the only ones who have power and do not use it to harm the people. The True Person does not harm the people. Whenever there is no harm done, that power flows into the common Virtue. (The Tao Te Ching 60)

Man alive, Lao Tzu, I wish you could watch the UK election campaign kick-offs this week. You would weep. 

Imma run with ‘no harm done‘ as my takeaway phrase from today. Also, ‘Governing a big country is like cooking a small fish’ – the same applies to any sizeable project. Less is more. No harm done. Don’t overcook it/yourself/the ideas. No excess energy applied. 

***PrayerfulPause***

May I divest myself of excess energy, thought and excitement today, so that I might connect heart to heart on my travels. And may I have awareness, true awareness, of what this heart to heart connection is, means and feels like. May I become the watcher, the experiencer, and may true love be channelled through all our hearts. Amen.

I am connecting heart to heart