Peak 67: I am a purveyor of fairness

Well, I can tell you what’s flowing oceanwards and performing effortlessly: my intestines. One day of mainly raw/juiced and 100% plant-based food, and my innards are having a celebratory field day. I need to remember (eg. when the time taken for chopping fruit/veg and cleaning the juicer feels burdensome) that taking the approach of ‘Let thy food by thy medicine‘ is a powerful gift to oneself. Like, really. It’s instant and soothing and so integrated. Thank you, Anthony William, for giving me the wherewithal to return to such a healing protocol with confidence and simplicity. Bless you for your gifts.

How did the 20mph stroll through your day go yesterday? 

Well, it was my first day back at work. I did hold off working til midday exactly, as planned – and that really helped. I do think 5/6 hours a day is plenty for me, especially while healing the adrenal fatigue (and EBV?). I did take a laid back approach where possible, and actually my colleague and I met a potential client and got a sizeable deal over the line. Sitting back in one’s own seat is important, right?

Let’s look at Chapter 3 of the Tao Te Ching

‘the governing of the saint is to empty one’s mind, substantiate one’s virtue, weaken one’s worldly ambition and strengthen one’s essence’ (3.4-5)

What do you draw from this line?

Less thinking and plotting; more essential goodness. What is my ‘essence’?


Oh really?!

We could say ‘justice’ but you find that rather high-falutin, and also a touch threatening unless paired with ‘mercy’. So best to say simply: fairness is important to you. 

There is so much ‘unfairness’! Some people have just no sense of fairness at all. They reach out over the heads of others ruthlessly!

Ask yourself: what is fairness? 

I’ll look it up: ‘impartial and just treatment or behaviour without favouritism or discrimination.‘ Yes, and to me it also means that one person doesn’t ride roughshod over the needs of another. No one takes more than is due to them, or takes at the expense of another.

Tough times for the purveyors of fairness…

Shucks, I know man… And yet, plenty to keep them (us) busy.

Is this something you can ‘identify’ with? Does it sum up your philosophy-in -action?

The purveyance of fairness? Yes! I can play with that today. It will ease my approach to my work as well – helping me get into the gear of ‘substantiating one’s virtue’ instead of leaning into my ‘worldly ambition’.

I am a purveyor of fairness


Peak 66: I am performing effortlessly

Picture of a 20mph sign

‘Flowing oceanwards’ is an opening, melting, ripening sensation.

Wait til you get to the ocean!

What is the ocean?

Dear soul, it is pure, positive energy – boundless and unfettered. 

I want that..!

It is allllll in you, precious being. How can you access the ocean within?

By becoming a mystic?!

Let’s look at Chapter 2 of the Tao te Ching

‘the saint performs effortlessly according to the natural Way without personal desire’ [… for merit, credit, recognition, possession]

What would it mean for you to ‘perform effortlessly’?

I have this image of a 20 mile an hour sign. Just going slow and steady without haste (or jazzhanding). Prepared to deal with criticism from the go-faster types. This idea of ‘the natural Way’ – what is that?

How fast does a tree grow? 

Slowly, gradually.

That is the natural way: organic, pedestrian in speed, cell-by-cell, seasonal…

Also in fits and bursts…

Yes, as the conditions allow – not ‘in spite of’ or ‘because of’ poor conditions for growth. 

So no ‘boot-strapping’.

No boot-strapping.

And no pausing for a bow and applause.

Loving self-appreciation is acceptable as it always feeds the inner fire. Anticipating or craving external approbation is a misfire because the tiniest slight or perceived mal-judgment can suck out the energy from the performer. 

Why is the verb ‘perform’?

To denote that your work is indeed ‘visible’. You are not acting in a vacuum. 

And ‘effortlessly’?

Without strain or drain.

I’m going back to work today after a two week break. I could feel my adrenals firing up yesterday already… I can’t afford more adrenal fatigue. It’s too much.

Your self-care strategy?

MEDSAN – 7.30am-2pm – with my Clean Green diet – at 20 mph. 

Super. Performing effortlessly… You can do this, flowingly. 

I am performing effortlessly

Picture of a 20mph sign
20mph zone



Peak 65: I am flowing oceanwards

Yesterday, I had a sense of Tao, and applied it several times. We had a lovely day out walking in the woods and then shopping in town – something I/we rarely do – but we got lots done including a spontaneous haircut (to mop up my own spontaneous self-haircut last week) and buying an entire outfit. Maybe that was down to being prepared to ‘go with the flow’.

My concern is how I’m going to follow my own flow, and not sidestep in to G’s or anyone else’s, next week, when I start my August cleanse. I so very much need this cleanse to work and to be able to stay on track with basically eating plants – Gluten-free, sugar-free, low-fat vegan (as raw as poss). It’s about the opposite of G’s natural diet…! And his diet always looks/is soooo delicious.

List reasons to be optimistic that you can follow your chosen Gluten-free, sugar-free, low-fat vegan (as raw as poss) protocols.

  1. I’ve been alcohol-free for 6 months – so I know I have willpower
  2. I’ve ordered a huge Riverford organic fruit and veg box for next week
  3. I’ve got the juicer out and worked out I can juice the day before so as not to wake people by early morning juicing
  4. My daughter is on board with the protocols too
  5. I’ve changed my ‘working hours’ settings on my email signature so I really can take the mornings for extended MEDS – and shift AN to midday.
  6. August has very few meetings booked so I can be based at home
  7. I’ve started using a Food Diary this week
  8. I’ve got a list of recommended foods to tick off daily
  9. I’ve got the supplements I need, mostly
  10. I’ve already started making vegan choices from time to time
  11. I’ve just ordered the crunch training frame that helped me so much before
  12. I have a rebounder which helps lymph drainage
  13. I have an amazing walk route just outside my front door
  14. I’ve talked about the protocols with G
  15. I’ve still got more Medical Medium audiobook to listen to, and can download others
  16. I’ve got access to my knowledge of qigong – brilliant for self-healing and settling the mind
  17. The Tao thinking can help my flow round others’ ‘tempting’ foods (You do you, and I’ll do me)
  18. I can plan (and prepare!) my meals ahead each day and not leave things up to suggestion – last-minute choices rarely work out well.
  19. I’ve done this before – and the results were do positive and energising. I just need to give it a week!
  20. I know my organs will give up a bunch of toxins readily and happily
  21. I have a lot of motivation to regain good health

Ok. I’m encouraged. Thank you.

So, next question. Please expand further: how does the Tao help me observe self-control and mastery over food/drink choices?

Let’s take this line from the Tao Te Ching:

‘the constant void enables one to observe the true essence’ (Ch1:5)

When we reach for, or crave, food and drink, we are seeking to fill the ‘constant void’. Eventually we learn, deeply and reverently, that leaving the void empty allows us to ‘observe the true essence’. Why would you want to block the true essence? For the same reason one shields one’s eyes from the sun – it feels blinding. Learning to be comfortable remaining present to the true essence of life is like learning to sit still on a chair at school. It is the foundation to advanced learning. 

Man, that’s beautiful. So, when I crave a burger like someone else is having, I can remember to use that moment to hold the sense of void and look into the essence of things.

Allowing pain, yearning and yowling craving to come to the surface for release is profoundly healing. 

Argh! Ok. Yes. I remember. Thank you. In the past, I’ve managed cravings my avoiding ‘tempting’ situations until I’ve got a handle on things.

Temptation: there’s a powerful word.

Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden…

Understanding that so-called ‘temptation’ is an invitation to ‘flow round’ might help you. Sitting with the ‘Profound Mystery’ (Ch1:10) disinclines us towards snap decisions and judgments. 

In endlessly ‘flowing round’ like water, can’t one become a bit too detached from reality and Teflon-like?

Not if one has one’s inner eye on the mighty Ocean downstream. 

Beautiful… So what’s my phrase for today?

‘I am flowing oceanwards’ – this is to remind you that you ‘flow around’ in your progress to the sea wherein all mystery lies. 

Yes – as opposed to swimming towards shore and dry land!

Indeed. The mystery increases and solidity diminishes. You are safe. 

I am flowing oceanwards


Peak 64: I am Taoing

The statement I put to myself yesterday was this:

“I am magnetising, now and always. What am I magnetising at this moment?”

Often, across the morning, I would find myself to be in a grizzly or pinched mode – and I’d spring out of it thinking, ‘I don’t need to magnetise anything in this spirit, thank you very much!’

Ultimately, yesterday gave me a great experience to learn about magnetising.

G and I had planned a weekday off by the sea to enjoy the beach without too many people. We got to the beach in the afternoon and it was just stunning – but still quite busy. I insisted that, while we both wanted to be close to the water, I didn’t want us to block anyone’s view. This resulted in us walking right to one end of the beach, to find it was a choice of a dog-walkers’ beach or an area with a family blaring music. I begged we go elsewhere, which meant heading aaalllll the way down the other end of the beach. We found somewhere at last, which didn’t block anyone’s view of the sea and we settled some 5 metres from the sea’s edge with a beautiful view of the sea ebbing and flowing.

Until… from no where… despite plenty of empty space all around… a family came and set up camp Right In Front Of Us. Like, right in front! I even pointedly indicated that there was space along they could take, and one woman said to her friends, ‘I think the lady behind us wants us to move along’, but the man just shrugged and lay down and went to sleep. The group were three metres in front of us, completely blocking our view of the sea. I was soooooo affronted and upset.

G was very calm and kind and pointed out that we could still see the sea if we looked across in another direction.

For me this wasn’t enough! I was in full chunter mode…

But I was also embarrassed by my negative energy in this lovely place, and conscious of ‘what I was magnetising.’ So I lay down and closed my eyes to rebalance myself.

I suddenly had the hunch that my earlier tautness around ‘Not Blocking Views’ could well have magnetised the current situation!

I also realised that G was completely right: (having magnetised the situation – if so) I now had the opportunity not to give it my ‘charged’ negative attention, but simply look round it. Like water flows round a rock. Like the Tao.

Ahhh… Moving into Taoist mode was like shifting from second gear to fifth on the motorway. And I knew then that at any moment I was in Taoist mode, I was magnetising only softness, nourishment and abundance. Why? Because the Taoist mode is essentially non-resistance – it is in fact the #PeaceFreq.

So peace is akin to non-resistance?

Something like that. It’s not apathy, by any means. If I think about taking a non-resistant stance to some of the difficult life and death matters that have come up in the last week with my loved ones, I actually see myself drawing myself into a very poised, softly-braced position.

Like the qigong practitioner. 

Indeed! [Qigong is a Taoist practice.] In other words, preparing for non-resistance means preparing to become very agile.

Like the water flowing downstream which must be prepared to weave its course between rocks and gullies. 

Yes. If I had been more Tao on the beach yesterday, I would probably have been ready to leap up as the family lay down their first towel and ask them lightly if they would be willing to move along the beach a little…

So non-resistance is not about just ‘sucking up’ whatever arises?

No. I think it’s about a soft, ready responsiveness.

Like the martial artist.

Exactly! Like the aikido practitioner who takes someone else’s attacking energy and redirects it safely, effortlessly away with a few deft moves.

I’d like to return to the Tao Te Ching. I studied it before, including working with Wayne Dyer’s huge book – one chapter (of c80) per day for 80 days. Maybe I could work with the Tao Te Ching as I do my August cleanse. It might help me work through the resistance, cravings and purging arising as I stick to fruits and vegetables…

What else should I know today?

The Tao is an open door for you. Work with it! Absorb all that Taoism has to offer! 

What about Zen?

Zen requires a certain stillness. Tao is more about flow. Flow is calling you. It has much to offer you. 

Flow is certainly a beautiful softener to the edges of my Aspie rigid-thinking/doing…

Your brain is an electrical mechanism. Flow stabilises charge distribution. Overall power and control increases. 

Lovely. I am in the Taoist mode. I am Taoing.

I am Taoing



Wow, I loved this Tao-focussed meditation. Like seated qigong. A beautiful balance of mind/body attention. Really physically healing, just as I need at the moment – I felt inclined to use my hands in that self-reiki manner of qigong. Lovely. This teacher, Olivia Rosewood, is a Taoist teacher who has also worked for Eckhart Tolle. Cool combination.

Screenshot of Insight Timer app

Insight Timer meditation

Peak 63: I am magnetising

Screenshot of a definition of dialogue

My ‘flowing’ was so complete yesterday that I spent much of the day on my back asleep or napping. I was tired – and I flowed with it. My body has so much healing to do. Also, I’ve given myself ‘annual leave’ til next week, so I was using the time to reboot.

I did appreciate the consistent self-reminder to flow with what was, to soak in the moment, to appreciate what was happening. I had a fraction too much grousing in me for my liking – but that was just the processing of old emotions. I can bring compassion to that.

You did really well. You are sinking in to this new paradigm beautifully. 

Will I keep it up once ‘work’ begins again? How?

  1. You are planning to change your diet [a la Medical Medium – in my words Virtually Vegan, Grazing Green, Roughly Raw] – this will energise you no end.
  2. You have set your working hours for 12-5pm weekdays – so you will be less overwhelmed by it all, and have more time for sustaining your daily MEDSAN practice
  3. You have a vision of shifting your work focus from mainly training to mainly casework practice, especially remotely. This means you will be working with people who need resolution now, rather than training (often only partly-willing) theorists.
  4. You understand that you set the frequency (#PeaceFreq) and that working with dissonance in you is not helpful. 

It’s true! And since working on really relaxing this week, I’ve had two private cases come in.

Because you were found to be on the wavelength of peace. Source looks for helpers on the Peace Freq. If you are on the dissonance frequency waving a flag of peace like a cat on a hot tin roof, you can not be found to help restore peace. 

On the Peace Freq, you literally magnetise the desired work. 

This is really serious learning. It makes it very clear to me that I must put my practice of stillness, softening, flowing, weightlessness etc at the centre of my life.

To remain on the Peace Freq more and more is a real gift to yourself and others. It’s a service in itself. 

It’s also a discipline. It’s a relearning.

You’re completely ready. You are in a home that supports total peace. Furthermore, you have developed some EXCELLENT executive functioning techniques which are really working for you. They give you calm and order. 

Yes. It turns out that tracking things, by time and achievement, really helps. The Say/Do Game and the Switch20 Game really helped too. I’m using my trackers and my Day Book and my timers. It’s good.

When we have that sense of poise and lightly-held ‘control’ over ourselves and our actions (vs aiming for control over conditions/others/outcomes – which is not helpful), we can heighten our magnetism of the good stuff. 

What is this magnetism? It sounds quite airy-fairy, or like ‘magical thinking’.

Play with it. ‘Are you knowing what you are wanting?’

Yes. Interesting and fulfilling cases.

And why are you doing so much (exhausting) training? 

To open the doors to more cases; to gain confidence in undertaking cases; to meet contacts for future cases.

Good. Keep that in mind. The training is the doorway, not the destination. 

Anything else you are wanting? 

To merge the two sides of my life – DoDs and my Casework. Under one roof. Without bullet-dodging behaviours.

Hey hey hey – no need for strong language. Hold to the vision: ‘To merge the two sides of my life – DoDs and my Casework. Under one roof.’

Yes. What do I need to know?

You need to hold that vision. In a target slide. Thus far, your Reality Transurfing-esque target slide [see back of my copy of RT] has not included the casework. 

Oh my goodness – that is true! So what is it I need to know??

DIALOGUE. This is your key word. Like this: 

Screenshot of a definition of dialogue
Definition of dialogue


‘A discussion between two or more people or groups, especially one directed towards exploration of a particular subject or resolution of a problem.’

Consultation, facilitation, resolution… via dialogue. As we are doing here. Dialogue is your merging factor. 

But what if people were to find out I dialogue with myself?!

They might start doing the same themselves. And sort out all kinds of topics, questions, queries and problems. Is that a bad thing? 

Ha. No. Of course not. But what if they point at me and laugh?

Let’s look at the artist Huang Yong Ping. If he had told his family back in the day that he was going to put a bunch of sea-transport containers and a giant serpent skeleton in a large hall, they would hardly have congratulated him or felt optimistic about his future career prospects. They might even have laughed and pointed at him. And when he did produce Monumenta 2016 in Paris (below), which stunned thousands of visitors with its power, it’s probable that many people still did laugh at him. That is the artist’s risk and reason. 

Monumenta 2016 - boxes and a serpent skeleton
Monumenta 2016

I don’t like being pointed at and laughed at…

Why not try it? The laughing-pointers are coming from a place of fear and ego. The majority of people are coming from neutrality or love. You must risk triggering the laughing-pointers to speak deeply with the people in a place of love. 

I see. Ok. Thank you… So much good stuff today.

  • I hear you on refining that target slide to include DoDs and Casework.
  • I hear you that Dialogue is the keyword.
  • I hear you on maintaining the #PeaceFreq

Thank you for all those points. What is the message for today?

You’re resisting it, but it’s about magnetising, because it’s important for you to know you are a living, breathing, walking magnet (everyone is!). So it’s wise to take care with what you are magnetising, and to learn to set your thought-systems consciously. Magnetising is just physics. It’s no special power or gift. You magnetise according to your frequency, so shift into #PeaceFreq at will. 

Ok. Got it. Ty. xx

I am magnetising


Peak 62: I am flowing

Picture of a boat by the sea

Brilliantly, ‘soaking it all in’ is the perfect antidote to my ‘pushpushpush’ tendency. Since childhood, I’ve believed that ‘pushing through’ any moment (eg by pouring energy/words/actions into it) makes it better. You cannot both ‘push’ and ‘soak it in’. Yesterday was my first day back from that amazing London trip. I was able to be still and soak in…

      • a walk in the forest
      • my home
      • time with my youngest in the car
      • dinner out with my eldest and G
      • delicious food
      • lying in bed with my love

No efforts, no gilding the lily, no jazzhanding, no pushing – even if for moments only. It wasn’t all plain sailing. At other times, I was (tbh) upset, overwhelmed and fractious, as emotions and tiredness welled up from the past week. But the ‘soaking it all in’ protocol was there for me whenever I could remember to use it. It’s like pressing a pause button which simultaneously lights up the world around you so you can see it better.

A form of mindfulness. 

Yes. I was remembering how I observed ‘mindful eating’ in the past – and how it helped me feel nourished. Mindful anything is nourishing, isn’t it? On the subject of mindful eating, I’ve been preparing for my Medical Medium style cleanse across the month of August. I’ve done some tracking charts I can use now and refine for next week – they are focussed on…

1) getting in a good range of the healing foods across each week:

Table showing a Healing Foods Diary
Healing Foods Diary


2) noting what I ate and when, across each day – to bring consciousness, and a record:

Screenshot of Food Diary
Food Diary

You are aiming to ‘soak in’ nourishing, healing foods. 

Yes. That’s right.

I thought yesterday about how I long for peace, unity, light, love – and that creates the acronym ‘PULL’.

Soaking inwards, pulling inwards, turning inwards. These are the routes to the Peak experience you were hoping to discover. Each person can discover themselves to be the MAGNET of the frequencies that light them up. If you can relax into the mode of acceptance, receiving, allowing, then truly all goodness comes spinning towards you.

It is a discipline, this stillness and soaking in, isn’t it?

Only until you are used to seeing the blessed benefits from it, then the stillness becomes your sanctuary and your stronghold. You shrug off the old pushpushpush tendencies, because they have become completely irrelevant to you. You finally realise truly that they never bring the returns you sought. In fact, you realise, the goodness comes to you despite the pushpushpush! 

I get this sense of a tide having turned. Almost like I’ve reached the zenith of my life, where the outward push is over, and now the sea comes back to shore of its own accord.

Ebb becomes flow. 

Yes! The outgoing tide becomes the incoming tide. And the being that is me can sit on the shore and let everything roll in towards me without my chasing, tugging or orchestrating.

Sounds like you have found a good analogy for your current opportunities in life. 

Yes, and I can find others who are also living with this flow.

Or you can just model the receiving, accepting flow mode to yourself and others. You can be the receiver of all goodness, and thus allow others to set themselves in the receiving mode too. 

For this to work well, you have to keep you intentions clear though, don’t you? Like the ‘target slide’ [of the book Reality Transurfing]?

Absolutely. Your vision remains clear and strong, yet it is ever enhanced by your ability to see the perfection in what already is… and flow (reality transurf, if you like) with that perfection. 

Ah. See the perfection of what is, and flow with it…

Your current section of the river is always beautiful – you need not wait to get downstream (and certainly not upstream!) to be bowled over by what you see. You are flowing down a river which gets progressively more and more beautiful and wonder-full. Relax into the canoe and let the water carry you as you behold the scenery – as you soak in your surroundings. 

Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream…

Picture of a boat by the sea
Row, row, row your boat

I am flowing

Peak 61: I am soaking it all in

table showing brainwavefrequencies from

I love the ‘softening’ sensation – it really is melting. I need morrrrre of that good stuff. Relaxing…

I was blown away by my sister’s use of the hypnobirthing techniques during her labour. She went in to such a deep, deep state – and worked with such focus and gentle power through each contraction (which  in keeping with the hypnobirthing protocols we called ‘surges’ to promote a better psychological connection to the opening of the body). The ‘softening’ work is in some ways akin to that ripening, opening, relaxing process of labour.

I wonder if I can use hypnosis-based meditations to accustom myself to really softening? It’s definitely my conscious mind that ‘pings’ me back to tautness and ‘doingness’. I need more practice in deep relaxation, to help my alert mind (and amygdala in particular) feel comfortable and safe with going offline. This is the work of meditation in general, but I wonder if good hypnosis-based mediations could help me shift more readily into those deep theta brain waves. 

Brain Wave Frequencies from


Those theta brainwaves you’re interested in accessing are linked with greater intuition. However, as they are also linked to greater susceptibility, be careful in what you ‘open’ yourself up to in the theta state. 

Ah yes. Got it. Trusted sources. Like Heidi Sawyer?


And that ex-radio guy, Glenn someone.


What else should I know?

There is still much of great goodness and inspiration to ‘soak in’ on your physical plane.

Ah yes! My sister-in-law talked about going to a certain part of New York that she used to know well, and just finding a place to have a treaty cocktail, and sit and ‘soak it all in’. I really liked that image.

Sometimes it feels attractive and exciting to use the intuitive brain to download things from ‘other’ frequencies and ‘external’ planes. However, there is much to be drawn from, absorbed and learnt from the present reality right before you. You have manifested such beauty and goodness around you – in your loved ones, your home, your physical surroundings, your work. Appreciation of that which you have already created, through your powerful intent, is an important step in honing your ongoing creative skills and refining your manifesting intent. Slow down; soak it all in. 

Lovely. As I get more peaceful, weightless and softened, it becomes possible to be present to the wonder of what is, and soak it all in – right?

Indeed. And if your hypno-meditations are intended to help you be more present to what is (rather than carry you ‘off-planet’ to other dimensions) then they will assist you in ‘soaking it all in’. 

Because the hypno-meditations will allow me to remain longer in the parasympathetic state, right?

Right. Good work. And in the parasympathetic state is when the appreciative ‘soaking it all in’ begins. 

It’s like there are two types of tourist:

The sympathetic state tourist: “Go, go, go! We gotta a schedule! Next stop! Take the picture and go! Back on the coach!” 

The parasympathetic state tourist: “Shall we sit here in this plaza and soak it all in?”

Your hypno-meditations will help you linger longer in the plaza. 

Lush. Let’s see on Insight Timer…

Screenshot of Morning Meditation from Insight Timer



Well, that was a lovely meditation. I’m reminded, I used to do quite a lot of hypnosis-based mediation, from Diana Cooper to Paul McKenna. I like the use of imagination, and conscious breathwork to relax and let. I got the sensation of ‘soaking it all in’ and… the associated joy. Hey, this is a good antidote to anhedonia.

Ok. This is good. May your day be full of soaking in all the good, good wonders in your world. 

Beautiful. Thanks.

I am soaking it all in



Later: On my walk today I did some serious soaking in of the gorgeous woods and an awesome Louise Hay talk:

Oh man, I love Louise Hay so much. What a soul she was. How much I learnt from her, the moment I stopped being triggered by her…!!

I took some notes on the walk..

Change & Transition (talk) by Louise Hay – my interpretations and takeaways:

• Boomerang effect is constant: whatever we give out comes back, including how we behave to ourselves (eg respect/love vs belittling/fear)

• Be patient with your vacillations back and forth between old paradigm beliefs/actions, and new. It takes time to settle in and embed the new paradigm belief systems.

• Loving ourselves is the main aim – and thus settling into inner peace. And helping others heal old traumas and love themselves is worthy work.

• There is no them and us. There’s only us. People acting violently/aggressively are likely acting out childhood trauma.

• What’s your addiction? (AT: rejecting joy??) Find a positive addiction eg loving yourself; affirmations

• Stress = Fear. If feeling stressed asked yourself ‘What am I fearing? What am I creating in me? Why am I not at peace with myself? Why am I not doing one thing at a time?’ Say: How can I release this fear?

• Love is the answer. From a loving space of the heart. When you love yourself life is so much easier – and so much more fun! You enjoy life! Really support yourself – and then you can support others.

• The more you turn to your higher power (God within you) the more powerful you become.

Thanks, Louise. I have loved this talk.

#PeaceFreq ❣️

Peak 60: I am softening

I did manage to hold the weightless state from time-to-time. It was good to do so in the presence of the newborn baby and her mother. Just to be present and still was good.

I loved this: #PeaceFreq ❣️

What is your intention today?

Today I’m leaving London and the new family behind, collecting DD2 from her friend’s and going home ‘to the Shire’. My intention is… to reflect on how wound up I can sometimes be – not quite my best self. I want to reflect on my work life too. I urgently need to make a change so that I can be less exhausted. Listening to the Medical Medium audiobook this week has reminded me I have some serious work to do to regain my health. I want my health and energy back. I am planning to do a cleanse in August. Need strength and focus.

So, we can here you revving up for assertive action. How about some concerted softening?


You have played recently with the states of being ‘peaceful’ and ‘weightless’. Softening is the next exercise.

How do I know if/when I’m softening?

You’ll experience downwards melting. It’s a grounding, anchoring, melting feeling. There is less of a sense of <being on the starting blocks> than you were demonstrating just now with your mention of ‘urgent’ changes and ‘serious work to do’. You cannot bring stress/urgency as your motivating mode if you want change. If you want to access that ‘strength and focus’ you describe, know that softening, not hardening, is the way forward.

What if I just end up sleeping or sitting around doing nothing?

Then the energy upgrade you seek would happen of its own accord. Seriously: minimise action for a bit. Do as little ‘work’ as you can get away with. Learn to let life pass you by.


Softening into the perfect Now is your way through the birth canal to a new paradigm. Breathe. Soften. Breathe. Soften.

I am softening

Peak 59: I am weightless

Teach me about ‘reaching peace’ or ‘reaching peace again’, please. I mention both phrases because they both keep coming to mind in equal measure.

You can start with ‘Reach Peace’. ‘Again’ implies timelines, which adds noise to the simple intent.

And what of this Reach Peace intent?

The intent is to rise to a frequency of softness and simplicity. It involves ‘rising’ from one heavy frequency to another higher, less dense frequency. The peace frequency is not as tangible as the lower frequencies, and its lack of stimulatory input can cause people to reverse back into the swaddling sensation of the heavier frequency. It’s understandable. Reaching Peace involves developing tolerance to the weightlessness of Peace.

Nothing happening; nothing doing… It’s some people’s idea of hell – isn’t it? Of course, because humans get addicted to stimulation. Which is to say they develop a kind of Stockholm Syndrome around the overstimulated state: they fall into loving complicity with their kidnapper.

Matt Kahn calls the ego the overstimulated nervous system.

And the ego makes you very discomforted if you don’t play along with its demands and tantrums. Can you handle that discomfort? If you can, you’ve reached peace.

Argh… Man… Yes. I must have an ego the size of a dinosaur, because when I ween myself off one stimulatory addiction, there’s always the next one jangling for attention.

In fact, what about ‘stimming’? Where does that fit in?

Good. Helpful. You stim to settle your brain…

Is my brain full of toxic heavy metals?

It is not for us to decree here. What we can do is point you towards the immense value of having a brain that does not easily settle. Because it affords you powerful practice.

True. I know what you mean. I just need to commit.

You committed long ago! You work on this day and night! Your progress is extensive.

Yesterday I hit 200 Days Alcohol Free (except the bottle of beer I put in a shandy mistaking it for AF beer – and didn’t notice til after drinking it).

You are not able to see how much excess noise you shaved away from your days by giving up alcohol. We can.

Should I give up coffee (again)?

There is no need to focus on stripping away stimulants at this moment. Instead, play with getting used to the weightlessness of the peace frequencies. See how it feels to resist the urge to jump back into your body, or into action, or into judgment…

Thank you. I will endeavour. I’m concerned about apathy/laziness…

This is not to say ‘Do Nothing’ – it’s to say, get used to glimpsing the weightlessness of peace and then doing nothing for a second or too. Savour the weightless, do-nothing feeling. Increase your tolerance to ‘being-without-doing’ for a few seconds longer each time…

#PeaceFreq ❣️

I am weightless

Peak 58: I am peaceful

Teach Peace grafitti

A perfect, beautiful child was born! I was able to bear witness to the 48 hour process – all bar the last half an hour which took place in theatre. Wow – what power, strength and poise I bore witness to in my sister. What mighty resilience of spirit and determination! And then, to meet this new soul, and watch her bask blissful in the love of her astonished, doting, melting parents… I am truly blessed to be present to the beginning of this brand new Life.


On my way to the birth, after Peak 57’s writing, I left the house open-eyed ready to ‘bear witness’. Barely had I left the house when I came across a car with a big “Teach Peace” sticker – in the exact form I’d be playing with for my pre-2019 visioning in late 2018. I regretted not taking a pic of the car, but bizarrely a friend posted the words with the very same typography on FB the next day, so here it is:

As I walked on to the hospital, I reflected on how I’d let my 2019 mission statement of ‘Reach Peace; Teach Peace‘ slide out of sight. It felt too intangible – and also, “who am I to teach others about peace..?” But I noted the nod from the universe and considered, ‘maybe it’s time to talk of my work at least in terms of ‘making peace’…’

Later that night, while the birth process was in a settled lull, I returned to the flat for a nap. On my way in the taxi, I caught sight of the lunar eclipse… and when I got to the house, I leapt out to take photos. I was there on the street at the 10.30pm peak of the partial eclipse!!

Lunar Eclipse
Lunar Eclipse

There was a bollard in front of my best view, which I kept trying to keep out of the pic… until I looked more closely at it… (see orangey eclipse in the distance). That word ‘Reach‘ making its appearance!:

At that peak eclipse moment, it felt like the message was underlined: ‘Reach Peace; Teach Peace.’ Game back on.

As a phrase, it does sum up all I’d like to achieve in terms of a) my internal state and b) service in the world – even if it’s just the fact of being able to be present to others (in conflict) in a state of peace to help them align to the energy of peace.


[The next day]

Your thoughts on the above? Help me hear you clearly please. I love you. I am listening.

Settle in now. You are not alone. You are always accompanied. You are held. You are loved. Let softness enter into this dialogue, and listen with a gently inclined ear. These words come in floatingly, do they not?

They do! They do… What is it that I can learn today, this day? My beloved sister, brother-in-law and newborn niece are coming home from hospital.

Then focus on them. Today is not a day for thought and intellectualising. Today is the day to put on the ‘pinny’ and use the hands and voice to serve, reassure, help and assist, very gently. 

If you want to work on this theme, ‘Reach Peace; Teach Peace’, let it be in your practice of holding an inner state of peace. Can you remain conscious of your inner being, your inner state? Can you lead with inner peace, rather than external action? 

I think so… I can at least try.

Your ‘efforts’ are appreciated, yet starting with a vision of yourself in a state on inner peace, connected to your inner being, will propel you further than making efforts to ‘try‘. Everyone can play with imagining themselves in one state or another, and affirming that imaginal state. The body reads the imaginal state first, and responds to it. 

It’s really as simple as saying ‘I am peaceful’ today, isn’t it?

It is. And that is the state the baby needs, today on her third day of life. She simply needs to be around peaceful people – especially after the cacophony of the hospital. Her parents need the reassurance of peace too. 

Ok. That’s simplified things. Thank you. Soft breath in. And out…

I am peaceful