Month: November 2020

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Presence 48: I am evoking the Power of No

DECIDE & DELIVER

vs

Delay’n’Dither

This arose as my ‘new motto’ over the last couple of days. 

Man alive, I’ve had to exercise my power to choose! …To discern, to decide, to execute. It has been real kung fu for my mind.

I was reminded how draining indecision (dithering) is. I woke up at 4am yesterday, awash with stress…. and realised most of it was simply due to a few unanswered emails I’d been ducking. So I got up and worked 5.30-8.30am clearing 50 emails and 30 whatsapps. Felt SO much better for it.

I have been like steel with my tough cases too. {Metal element = lungs = courage.} This has been of benefit to me and to my clients. The person I mentioned yesterday who was so distressed… largely by her chronic indecision over one matter…. made a decision through courage coaching (new concept?) and felt much better for it.

A mediator colleague (NR) reflected on how people can only take so much ‘uncertainty’.

I just spotted this today: Why ‘Head Empty’ Memes Are Dominating 2020 In a year of chaos, a series of internet tropes has sought to offer escape from the turmoil.

With meme example:

Head Empty

Meanwhile, in TPP I read:

‘Developing the capacity to feel without telling stories simultaneously empowers us to consciously enter and contain vibrational awareness. Understanding doesn’t endow us with vibrational awareness because vibrational awareness can’t be understood, only experienced directly.

It’s to be expected that as we move through this next stage of our journey into present moment awareness, we will continue to try to think our way through what’s happening to us. It’s natural for us to “try to understand.” However, our habitual impulse to try to mentally grasp and categorize what’s happening causes us to experience varying degrees of confusion.

As we proceed from week seven toward week ten, it’s useful to hold the following “knowing” in the forefront of our awareness: Right now, as we move deeper into an awareness of the authentic condition of our emotional body, experiencing a sense of mental confusion is beneficial. It’s a sign of progress and an indication that the mental body has taken us as far as it can go. The mental body has, figuratively speaking, hit the wall!

Confusion serves us. It prevents us from attempting to barge our way into the emotional realm mentally. By giving ourselves permission not to have to understand an experience for it to be valid, we ensure a gentler and less frustrating ride through this part of our journey.

By being at ease with inner mental confusion, accepting it as a temporary necessity – and as a sign of progress – we avoid indulging in unnecessary drama. There’s nothing wrong when we feel confused. We are to feel confused without placing any conditions on the experience.’ ( The Presence Process by Michael Brown p194)

Themes emerging for me:

  1. Don’t think about the source of your uncertainty. 
  2. Decide, or make peace with your confusion. 

The third aspect of your ‘path to peace’ lies in the Power of No. 

Ha!

The Power of No means articulating your rejection of an incoming offer or message. This rejection comes out of your instinctual knowing. Once ‘thought about’, that rejection becomes diluted and confused. You have dithered over your perfect intuition. Catch your No as soon as you can, and articulate it immediately.

Hence the path to peace, kung fu style, states: 

  1. Dither not – you already know intuitively
  2. Decide – trust your intuition
  3. Declare – yes or no

You’ve done some excellent work this week on deciding, choosing… Let’s practising Declaring, evoking the mighty Power of No… and Yes. 

Shucks…. Ok. Let’s do it.

I am evoking the Power of No

 

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Presence 47: I am exercising my power to choose {iChoose}

Man… the dial is being turned up.

Cosmically speaking, you are not wrong. 

How am I going to get through this week with these clients [two cases] so determined to cling to their refusal to let their loved ones in… ? Last night, one client – when urged to make a decision (as agreed before  I speak to their relative today) and confronted by my saying I was at the point of continuing with the dialogue process – completely unravelled reacting like a scalded tiger. I’ve barely slept, adrenaline just charging… And I arrived to an email in caps, written overnight and sent at 5am… revealing severe – severe  – cognitive distortions and psychological distress.

I gather there are astrological influences at play this week? With a lunar eclipse due on 30th Nov – when I happen to have a med. meeting?

Talk about needing to practise kung fu. Inside and out. I am really being tested.

I note that religion and rigidity/apparent heartlessness overlap.

I am so shocked by what I am seeing in people.

And feeling shocked (and dismayed for the ‘wronged’ party) you unleash your empath’s concern… and hand over your energy passim.

Man. This again. 🙁

You are bordering on ‘unwell’ today having slept in adrenaline mode all night. You have none left to give anyway, and all that you are facing now is cortisol awash in your system. We hope you will take your garden, barefoot qigong practise seriously this morning. 

In this last minute let us reassure you that what you are doing is good. The need to develop inner detachment and balance and ferocity of boundaries is strong. Be like the lion you run from. Be the predator of, not the predated. The ‘Agent Smith’ concept is one to look further in to and explore. Don’t be ‘innocent’ about these matters. Your essential innocence is protected and secured by your engaging your Knowing, which is achieved through Present Moment Awareness. 

Looked this up about Agent Smiths…

The dialectical opposition between Smith and Neo is a strong indication of what their respective characters represent. Smith is pitiless and single-minded, focused on finality, conformity, purpose and inevitability. As such, Smith represents determinism and fatalism. By contrast, Neo, with his unpredictable, emotional human nature, represents unbounded free will and the power of choice. Neo’s solitary role as The One is contrasted by Smith, who, by replicating himself, becomes ‘the many’. When Neo asks the Oracle about Smith, the Oracle explains that Smith is Neo’s opposite and his negative. (Source)

You said ‘be the predator not the predated’. What do you mean? I don’t want to be predating upon others.

What is meant is ‘go out looking’. Don’t be the bunny rabbit nuzzling grass in the open field. 

Go out looking for what?

Your Agent Smith types. And practise kung fu. Until you become really proficient. 

Why?

Because the eater is not eaten. 

Oh lord…………………………… May PEACE and UNITY be upon this Earth. LOVE and LIGHT.

The Indigos know that justice will be brought about by confronting and dismantling injustice, not merely by wishful thinking. 

And so…..?

And so be willing to toughen up, sweet cheeks! Archangel Michael wields a sword not a white handkerchief. 

Ha. I hear you.

Not everyone has the capacity for this work. 

I am reminded of Sarah Connor again…!

Right? Better get out and get training. It is for you to employ the uniquely human Power of Choice, and to choose wisely, choose affirmatively, choose boldly, choose powerfully. The Power of Choice is also equated to the Choice of Power. To be indecisive is to choose powerlessness. 

What?? So much here, and it’s getting late….. Pls sum up…

I am exercising my power to choose {iChoose}

_____

Think about it. This is:  iChooseKungFu….

 

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Presence 46: I am practising kung fu

Thank you for the last dialogue. I so appreciate it. It’s like we’ve raised the bar again for me to really focus on getting aligned with what I’m actually doing here.

I want to state and discuss here that it’s getting really challenging out there. The psychic warfare is real. Some examples:

  • In the UK we are in a four week lockdown, based on science that was flawed/invented, as the government admitted days after announcing the lockdown based on said evidence.
  • The UK government is deemed corrupt by the Exec Editor of the BMJ: Covid-19: politicisation, “corruption,” and suppression of science
  • Brexit negotiations are verging on No Deal, and shrouded in mystery, so there’ll be no time for scrutiny.
  • Government is looking at freezing public sector pay, again. Despite workers having seen us through the pandemic.
  • It’s Anti-Bullying week, and the UK government has marked it thus:

Priti Patel: Bullying inquiry head quits as PM backs home secretary
School LGBT bullying projects axed by government

  • It’s now 2.5 weeks since the US election, and Trump is still not conceding defeat. I’m not here to call him out, or make Biden any kind of a good guy. I’m saying the people of the US are being gaslit – and 1/4 million people in the US have now died with Covid. As this writer says, ‘Burnout is the next big threat‘ for Americans.
  • And in some of my mediation cases, the clinging to discord is off the scale… :/

So a few things have been swirling around in the last 24 hours, namely these three videos:

Video: https://youtu.be/2Hv6Pr9cggs Transcript here. https://quantumqigong.co.uk/forgive-them-for-they-know-not-what-they-do/

We watched The Matrix last night…

This philgoodlife video: ‘WE HUMANS HAVE A LOT OF GROWING UP TO DO ??‘

Common things to these 3 videos: 

  • [Long distracted pause]
  • They’ve drained you?

Ha… yes, a little bit. Here we go, in my phrasing:

  • Time to grow up, awaken, wake up
  • Children/predators/non-sentients are at large..
  • Hold on to what is real…
  • Not the linear/children’s playground/non-sentient/STS
  • But the multidimensional/sentient/knowing+feeling/STO
  • The STS hazing is powerful, manipulative, brazen and therefore
  • The STO mind must actively, assiduously anchor in the might of the light…
  • Hold the frequency of peace, but also do so… kung fu style….

I’ve wondered if I’m learning qigong to then learn kung fu…

Focus. You re right about acting ‘kung fu’ style.

I’ve been way too porous in my boundaries, especially in my work as we discussed last time..

Listen. Your interest in martial arts and self-defence is not just a passing fad. You have discerned that these technologies ‘awaken the dragon’ in you. 

Ah… like ‘dragon-breathing.’

Keep listening. Relentless propaganda requires psychic self-defence on new levels. You can see that. You know that if you keep your head down, you can live this life unharmed. You can largely learn to dodge any more Agent Smiths. [Yes, you have met several.] However, keeping your head down is not your over-arching intention. Your intention is participation in the realisation of heaven-on-earth.

And so with this being the case, your best bet is to allow the learning of your heart to be undertaken. As Neo learnt kung-fu, so shall you – whether here kung-fu is the actual art or a metaphor. That matters not. The practise is self-protection, at a calculated, yet unselfconscious level. Self-defence is true art. It begins with ‘Awakening’ to the actuality of the breachers of boundaries. You know how your ‘anger’ was so frowned upon? That was conditioning to stop you from preventing others breaching your boundaries. But you are a ‘big girl’ now (to use the language of your inner child), and you can integrate old anger, and establish new boundaries. As PhilGoodLife said, this is not about being ‘reactive’. It’s about being so centred, so self-aware, so aware of the reality of our context (including negative forces) and so internally balanced, that we show up to all moments like a shaolin monk: apparently passively docile, and with gravity-deyfing qi-force at the finger tips. 

This all involves LISTENING to your messages, on the internal level. We saw you ignore them yesterday, pursuing your Agent Smith case, so you can hand over yet more and more louche to the System. Well done. You are a generous donor. 

Wait, what System?

The System fed by louche, harvested from the adrenals of the dear souls on this planet. 

Shucks, man… It’s my hero complex that wants to ‘rescue’ the people from their conflict. Or at least, maybe it’s my compassion? Help me understand!

We don’t need to help you understand. When your body says ‘no!’, you are NOT called to step forward, however much the ‘people’ plead and beg for your ‘assistance’. 

The ‘people’….?

You heard right. 

This is an open world action game. You are playing for only one character, and it is You. In the game, you need to learn discernment. And that means knowing who is just as their avatar appears, and who is not. 

If I listened to the ‘noes’ my body gives me, I’d only do half the work I do!

And then you’d double your rates, and be: 

  1. doing work that is MEANT for you and
  2. still earning plenty and
  3. resting enough, thus preserving your physical frame and 
  4. no longer donating adrenal louche to the System

If I double my rates, I’m only available to the children in the capitalist playground of STS. What if I don’t want to be working for them?

You can enslave yourself to the enslaved and impoverished. Or you can go into the dark web of the System, and have it serve you. 

Man. Honestly, what is this? I don’t recognise this tone…

Awaken. Awaken. See what is happening in your Open World action game…. Remember how Jeremy Colledge (above vid) described these non-sentients as Sims characters who forget to feed their babies or take out the stinking trash? Hence, ‘Forgive them, for they know now what they do.’ Would you rather sit outside the Simscape and judge, tut and sigh; or would you rather go in and… educate the Sims? 

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Man. Educate is a strong word.

A teacher or a healer. Those are the two functions of starseeds according to that book of yours.

Am I a starseed in your view?

You are phishing for compliments. 

Very funny…!

What does it take to go into the Simscape and ‘educate’ the Sims? ://///////

Fortitude. A good breakfast. And ruthlessly honed psychic self-defence skills. 

‘Kung-fu’ style.

Kung fu style.

I am practising kung fu

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Presence 45: I am holding the frequency of peace

I’m realising I REALLY need to hold the frequency/vibe/sense/space of PEACE and HARMONY and RESOLUTION….

I cannot consider myself to be in the business of conflict, but rather in the BUSINESS OF PEACE.

Like a healthcare practitioner can either see themselves in the business of sickness… or of WELLNESS.

As we set our own personal still point of intention… so are we resonating. And so will we feel. And so will be attract. And so will be offer possibilities to our clients.

Like my friend Jo beams confidence, as a confidence coach, I must beam peace, harmony and resolution as a peace broker.

Nice. 

Yes! I’m a peace broker. I’m in the business of peace. Amen. May all confirmations and creativity flow into that insight… and out the other side!

And when you stand in the frequency point of peace, people can come to you, or not… as THEY feel ready. But you are not doing the work for them. You are doing the work for yourself, and to give them something to feel their way towards. But you are not rushing over to their conflict vibes anymore, and entangling there. You are remaining on the shore of peace, waving your flag and sending up flares, so they can guide their own ships ashore. 

The shore of peace. I like that. Solid. Grounded.

Yes. Be no longer the coracle tossed upon the churning oceans of chaos and conflict and separation and dissension. Thank you for your service there, but it would be preferable for you to make Peace your special interest: connection, harmony, discernment, balance. Instead, aim to be a landmark on the Shore of Peace. Steady, centred, anchored. And let the coracles be guided ashore. 

This is where your processes will act as Road Maps or Marine Map. Spend time creating and using those Maps. 

Including the conflict pivot by Tammy Lenski, right?

Absolutely. All the tools are good if they give YOU the sense that they help you/people navigate their way to the Shore of Peace. You need to TRUST people can get there. Offer TOOLS, MAPS and COACHING. But let them find their way to you. 

This means so much. There is good work here for me. Thank you.

I am holding the frequency of peace

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Presence 44: I am learning that clearly-defined processes support relationships

Informational Impressions => Intuitive Knowledge.

It was good to do TRE yesterday. I had so much trembly shock lodged in my body. This morning I do feel more at ease in my self, and I had a good sleep too. And I’m reassured to know that AS is steady and self-caring as she passes through CV19. {Sending love to you, my precious.} And LV joined me in my webinar yesterday. She was amazing!! And my beloved Dad is getting good care for his current health concern too. All is well. All are well.

I’d like to reflect this morning on the topic of RELATIONSHIPS. For two reasons:

  1. In the Presence Process, we are ’embracing physical presence’ and…  ‘As we become proficient at responding to surfacing charged emotions, a sense of safety gradually seeps into our overall human experience. This means that as we step into the role of taking responsibility for the quality of our experiences, our child self starts feeling safe again.’ (TPP p190) Our child self exited the body largely because of challenging relationships…. so this renewed safety is surely linked to how we are feeling in relation to others, as we learn to respond to emotions arising in our relationships.
  2. I saw a clip of (gifted intuitive) Teal Swan which really resonated yesterday. It spoke to my previously unarticulated knowing about why I hadn’t come ‘out’ about my beliefs and experiences on a spiritual level over these years (certainly since leaving the Baha’i community). Because in a sense those experiences ‘through the veil’ are incidental to why we are here. Why we are here is to navigate human life, and talking about our own metaphysical experiences generally sets us apart from others in our actual life, and makes it harder to do the human ‘thing’. As Teal beautifully explains,we are here to live the human experience, and the human experience meets its peak meaning and richness and challenge and resolution via….

our RELATIONSHIPS

Teal Swan on relationships

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CHo9S_xH-jN/?igshid=bkr8oa8zlgc2

And this quote and video of Teal’s made me reflect that THIS is why I became a mediator – to help repair relationships. Why? Because I know how hard – and how vital to our spiritual journey, whether conscious or not- interpersonal relationships can be. According to many accounts I have read, many a lifetime is largely a journey towards having our relationships settled – and our forgivenesses made/received – and our emotional sobriety mastered – and our ‘love-over-ego’ in place – before the end of our life, to complete the lessons we have set for ourselves in this life. That’s where the peace lies. That’s where our human self unites with our soul self – and that’s what allows Source to know itself through human consciousness.

And as long as we feel ‘unsafe’ in our body and/or our relationships, we are tripping over our own beautiful feet. It’s beautifully complex, nuanced, delicate stuff!!

What say you? [Argh! Time to stop for today. Fill me in tomorrow? xxx]

NEXT DAY

You are holding space for several relationships at the moment. 

It’s nearly finishing me off! I’m exhausted. And ever astounded by how far people will withhold themselves from ‘negotiation’ with their loved ones!! Do they not see what they are doing when they mulishly refuse to engage in exchange, but doggedly expect the other party to do all the giving?! I’m so tired. I’ve got 3 cases that have lasted months – partly due to the pandemic. But mostly because the readiness to exchange requests and offers is not there.

Walk away. 

Que?!

You are learning [aka… not there yet!] how to let people know what it is you do. You don’t ‘make the pain go away’. You don’t make ‘the other party see sense’. You don’t persuade and cajole. As a mediator you are a NEGOTIATOR. You need to be much clearly to people that negotiation is your offer. That means both parties bringing their requests and offers to the table. 

I have this one person and I have managed to secure a range of beautiful offers for them from their (traumatised) loved one. And when I make a request this person accuses the loved one of seeking to exert control. I’m so pained…

Do you see how you centralise yourself in that story. Who ‘managed to secure a range of beautiful offers’? 

Yes… I see what you mean.

If you are really process-driven you will say: in the first round of exchanges, one person was able to make offers; the other wasn’t. If you are modelling a process, you will not feel ‘pained’ because YOU will not be in relationship with the parties. You will be in relationship with the process, which is perfect and wholesome and faultless and inanimate.

Imagine you were a dance teacher. A teacher of tango! Can you imagine if you got hooked on lamenting how poorly your students danced? That would drain you of love for the dance rapidly! But if you kept your focus on the wonders of tango, and spent time watching accomplished dancers, and dancing well yourself… you would be less attached to the proficiency/in-proficiency of your students. You would be comfortable to watch some to rise through to the advanced class, and others to drift away if they lost interest. 

You need to be prepared to let some of your parties drift away if they are not really interested in negotiating with the other party. 

Hence ‘walk away’.

Yes. It is not an act of compassion to keep people in mediation if they do not have the will or capacity for it. The kinder thing is to stop the process and let them come back to it afresh if they want to. 

I guess I am needing to get much clearer about what this mediation work is and is not. Right?

In essence, your empathy draws you very close to the parties. We would urge you to cleave closer to the process. Design the process with the parties, from start to finish and get their commitment to that process. Show them the END POINT, very clearly. Here’s our template Mediation Agreement. Here are your names – and this is where you will sign. Here is the box where we state whether this document can be shared or not. Here is the section when we state if or when we will review this decision. This is the bit where we talk about what will happen if someone does not go by the terms of the Agreement. 

Oh my word. A whole new pro forma. It’s brilliant. Thank you!!!

Here is the bit where we talk about the relationship with the mediator coming to an end. Here is the bit we discuss when this document becomes or became final. Here’s the bit where we discuss how other supporters may or may not use the document… Here is the bit we note what will happen in the event of an extreme event, like illness or death. Here is the bit where we talk about how we will communicate together going forward..

Yes!!! Now we’re talking. I know this will make all the difference with the family case I’m working on. Ty.

You are learning that clearly-defined processes support relationships. 

Like ‘monthly Zooms for xyz loved ones’ – so no one is left hanging. And feeling hurt or alone. Or ‘in charge’ of driving the rel.

Exactly. 

This is not what I was expecting after the Teal Swan inspiration. But it’s definitely what I needed. (My dear Aspie heart…) Thank you!

I am learning that clearly-defined processes support relationships

 

 

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Presence 43: I am embracing physical presence

My beloved youngest was notified of a positive Covid test result yesterday. She’s 4 hours drive away at university. I am calling upon all perfect wellbeing and complete recovery for her – and her housemates who tested positive, and for all people and beings across the planet. May all beings be well, and be healed, and thrive. May all beings know they are safe in their beautiful bodies. May all feel safe now.

<3<3<3

“I FEEL SAFE NOW”

EMBRACING PHYSICAL PRESENCE

Embracing physical presence is the first step we take toward accomplishing a permanent shift from reactive to responsive behavior…. During childhood, we began the habit of mentally leaving our physical body and departing full awareness of our current surroundings to enter the illusory mental experience called “time.” We did this as a fearful reaction to what was happening in the present. It’s this simple: we lost our awareness of Presence through fear. Fear causes evacuation from the body. Through fear, we trade Presence for the mental armor of pretence…It’s now not so difficult to embrace the possibility that the challenging, fearful experiences that have shadowed us from the past are all disguised opportunities for growth and gain. They are emotional fuel cells yet to be tapped. We may not have the capacity to perceive this while still perceptually bound by the effects of these causal experiences, but this possibility becomes available as we enter present moment awareness.

(The Presence Process, extracts from p188-9)

In meditation today, I worked with the Continuous Conscious Breathing and a good solid Audible Out-Breath (AOB/dragon-breathing), to open up Present Moment Awareness. It was like I could sense old memories defrosting and floating up to the surface of my awareness. As they came in to view, I could catch the old ‘felt-perception’ associated with those difficult experiences. These were from when I was 21/22 – complexities around the ‘reaction’ of friends and family to my becoming pregnant. It felt good to note the feelings that had been lodged frozen in my body…. and to do so with fresh Present Moment Awareness. I was able, I think, to integrate them. This felt like ‘sloughing’ off the emotional charge. Like the older, wiser me was saying: ‘Yes, that was tough at the time. And now we’re here.’

Thoughts today?

We want to talk to you about ‘downloads’. 

Sure.

By downloads we mean the fragments of intelligence you scoop from the etheric field as you make space in your self. The more you integrate old charged emotions, the more space you make for such downloads. 

Ah. I’ve been wondering about ‘downloads’ re certain changes and decisions ahead which have been taking time to ‘materialise’ in my head. So… it’s about making space in the system?

We’ve spoken before about ‘defragging’ the system. That’s what you are doing as, more and more successfully and consistently, through meditation, breathwork, qigong and walking, you ’embrace physical presence’ – as Michael Brown puts it so well. 

That’s encouraging to hear…

You are clearing space in your RAM and your desktop in this way. This allows more space for downloads. 

What is a download? These ‘fragments of intelligence scooped from the etheric field’? Tell me more?

The receptive mind attunes itself to infinite intelligence and meets it ‘on the high flying disc’ plane. On that plane, information is multidimensional. That means it consists not of linear ideas or statements, but of bundles of informational impressions. Does that make sense?

Yes.

So these bundles of informational impressions, when fully downloaded into the still mind, then translate into intuitive knowledge. 

That is so beautiful. I hear you. There is so much hear… haha typo, here. So, the still mind is my responsibility.

If you like. But it’s fairly incidental what you intend to ‘achieve’. The good stuff is pouring in all the time. 

Ok… But do I translate it in to intuitive knowledge?

As you feel safe, you will better enter your own body, and that is where you pick up and translate the intuitive knowledge. There is no rush in this work. But yes, you could enjoy ’embracing physical presence’ even more. 

I’ve got a TRE session booked today for the first time in … months?! Sounds like a good place to launch ’embracing physical presence.’ Ty – and ty MBrown.

Love and blessings to my girls, and to all upon this planet. May we all embrace our physical presence, and download perfect wellness into our systems.

I am embracing physical presence

 

 

 

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Presence 42: I am safe in this body

The dragon-breathing is so good. You really feel the emotional burn, and at the same time, the elongated out-breath triggers the parasympathetic response. I employed it a lot yesterday, and overnight… It also showed me how short and shallow my breathing often is. The deal is – in order to relax, I need to be able to hear my outbreath. The AUDIBLE OUT-BREATH (or ‘AOB’): that’s my takeaway – and the new habit to develop.

I also want to share I had a sweet moment yesterday – a tiny, new insight in to what it is to love and to be in love. G was jokily teasing me that I love time on my own (away from him)… and I replied with: “I prefer being with you than being on my own, and that’s actually amazing because I really love being on my own.” Maybe that’s one simple, sweet indicator of how we (introverts or autistic beings…?) know that we love someone and are in the right relationship for us? 🙂 <3

Ok. I have a question about this ‘rising above’ notion that came up in yesterday’s dialogue – it was my beloved Mum’s wisdom. So the example is that in a Whatsapp group I’m on led by a coach, one person shared a picture of herself looking beautiful and people chimed in with words of love. The coach leading the group took a swipe at the OP when she made the comment ‘I clean up well’ – the coach accused her of coming from the masculine instead of the Queen self. The OP replied, “Ouch”.  I am torn between just adding my love for the OP, or actually replying to the Coach, and saying: “Putting a fellow woman down – in front of the friends who are celebrating her – feels more ‘Queen Bee’ than Queen to me…”. Given our conversation about not reacting, or shooting the messenger. What’s your advice? I want to stand up for the OP, who is continually being side-swiped by the Coach. But also I don’t want to get embroiled… or get any closer to the toxicity of this coach. What are the insights to pick up here?

What’s your overall aim? Is it to dispense and serve justice? Or is it to model love? In the face of rabble-rousing (aka reactive, emotionally-unintegrated, charged) behaviour from another, does the true Queen say, “Off with your head?” or “Mercy be upon you.” 

Suddenly, I see a new perspective. Rather than ‘sparring’ (aha! that word again) with the charged Coach, I could ‘model’ an uncharged response – as a conscious act of ‘mercy’. (‘But what if she doesn’t get the message?’) Que sera sera. Her loss!

It is an act of magnanimity to see someone’s faults and weaknesses and not point at them. The Coach was not magnanimous towards your friend when she perceived her as not receiving the compliments in a gracious way. Batting back an equally un-magnanimous reply (to put the Coach in her place) is an example of down-regulating to the frequency of charged person in front of you. 

We suggest you read the next few pages of The Presence Process. It’s the pre-read for Week 7. 

Ok. This has been helpful. Ty.

_______

INTO THE WATER

Read Before Commencing Week Seven

We activate weeks seven, eight, and nine by submerging ourselves in a bathtub of comfortably warm (not too hot) water for 15 minutes. If a bathtub isn’t available, we may enter a comfortably warm shower for 15 minutes. While in the water, we aren’t to focus on consciously connecting our breathing. Instead, we place our attention on the felt-aspect of any experience that surfaces in our awareness as a consequence of being in the warm water. As soon as we exit the water, we dry ourselves off, then attend to our regular 15-minute breathing practice. (TPP p186)

 

So we’re having a bath?? Interesting. It’s true that I haven’t submerged in water much in a long time… Not since the couple of swims this summer… And I know it’s really good for me. Hm… I also feel a bit resistant to it. Maybe because our water/bathroom is a bit cold for a comfortable bath? I’ve become v accustomed to showers. But I used to love my micro-baths. Maybe I could try it again…

Carry on with the book. Pick up the phrase for Week 7.

Ok, hang on… [page 188]. Aw…that’s so nice. Yes. I hear ya…

WEEK 7

Our Conscious Response for the Next Seven Days is:

“I FEEL SAFE NOW”

Why does someone sideswipe at another? Because they don’t feel safe. 

Why does someone spar with another? Because they don’t feel safe. 

Why does someone lunge at another? Because they don’t feel safe. 

 Why does someone act in an unfair/unreasonable manner? Because they don’t feel safe.

Why does someone act as though they don’t care? Because they don’t feel safe. 

If and when I really stand back…

and hold yourself in complete safety…

then I can see that the other person is just responding to their own sense of feeling unsafe. Understandable if they are carrying around charged emotions from unintegrated childhood experiences.

In fact, people’s lunging behaviour is frankly the normalest thing in the world! Because in general, we aren’t taught how to integrate the childhood experiences. So everyone is walking round with bags of charged baggage attached to their belts.

We used to have Church/Religion/Manners to cause us to conform to certain behaviours to make us reasonably capably of entering society… but we were split in half by acting well, while simultaneously suppressing/repressing the charged emotions. And the outcomes were NOT pretty. For any of us bifurcated beings… And the ensuing shame, grief and loss – when our charged emotions overcame and outmanoeuvred  our societal mask – was real.

So, how best can I work with this now?

Work with your sense of safety, today and all week. Count all the ways in which you know yourself to be safe. Just as you discerned the truth of your love for G by observing the balance of your pleasure in his company… discern the signs of your complete safety in this world. And dwell upon them. With full embodiment. Let your body know you are safe. 

I’m doing TRE with Deborah tomorrow. That’s good timing for all this…

If you could see how held, how protected, how safe you truly are in this world, your relief would be so immense, that your long out-breath of release would create ripples of peace across the world. 

This is all so different from ‘rising above’ what’s going on, though the effect is the same. It’s just taking a different route. ‘Rising above’ feels risky, like you might fall in the broiling waters at any moment. Affirming your sense of safety is like standing on firm ground and feeling the sun on your face. 

Dragon-breathe this: I am safe in this body. 

Interesting. Ok. I’ll work with that. Thank you.

I am safe in this body

 

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Presence 41: I am dragon-breathing

Oowwee, ‘I am Alive to Myself’ got right through the cracks into some invigorating places! It was such a vivid practice. So centering, and enlivening to each moment.

So yesterday… I got tumbled over by a client email, right at 9pm on a Friday evening. They were sparring with me. over a case their party has purposely prolonged over months. Ergh…. ‘Sparring’ again… But I’m the ‘healer’ MBTI type and want everything/one to be ‘nice’! It troubled me, the email. And it interrupted my sleep. And it had me getting out of bed early today.

So I brought the feelings to my QT and to my reading of TPP today:

THE EMOTIONAL INTEGRATION PROCEDURE (TPP p183)

STEP ONE: DISMISS THE MESSENGER. Whenever we become emotionally upset, the first step is to acknowledge that the person or event setting us up has nothing to do with what’s happening. They are “the messenger” (mess-ender). The messenger reflects a memory that’s currently surfacing from within our unintegrated past. “Shooting the messenger” is futile because Presence has an unlimited supply of such messengers! The first step in the emotional integration procedure is therefore to dismiss the messenger. Internally, we may thank them for their service and let them be on their way. Instead of reacting to and venting at them, we might say, “I could use a little time alone right now.” In the beginning, this step of gracefully sidestepping our urge to react takes courage because it requires dismantling our lifelong habit of knee-jerking into drama.

Ok, so it’s not about this client who has ‘upset’ me… I’m not going to ‘react’ by emailing back over the weekend. In fact, even when I do write back on Monday, I don’t need to react to their sparring words. I have side-stepped the Urge To React (UTR :)). I might even thank them for their service internally at this moment.

STEP TWO: RECEIVE THE MESSAGE (insight). The second step is to get the message. To accomplish this, we turn our attention inward and, through wielding felt-perception, encounter the underlying energetic resonance of the emotional reaction we experience through the setup. We know we are succeeding when our body resonates. When we engage the felt-aspect of our upset, our face may flush, our hands may buzz, or we may feel a downward movement in our solar plexus. Whatever we feel as a consequence of our intent to feel is valid.

I sat with the feelings swirling inside me when I thought about this person. Eventually the felt-perception spoke to me:

  • “He’s UNFAIR! He’s not being FAIR!”
  • Which then revealed early childhood incidences of my shock at people being UNFAIR:
    • eg. Caroline stealing my marbles from my school bag, and none of the grown-ups making her give them back because she flat-out insisted she had “brought these marbles to school” with her.  – UNFAIR
    • eg Dad having a meltdown and chucking away our belongings in black bin-bags, and no one holding him to account, or making him apologise – while we had to apologise for trivial childish errors. – UNFAIR
  • Mum saying “No one said life was going to be fair.” And that grating so hard on my little Aspie-child sense of right and wrong.
  • Then a more adult-orientated perspective: “They’re being UNREASONABLE!“

STEP THREE: FEELING UNCONDITIONALLY. Instead of externalizing our discomfort by resorting to blame, we now consciously contain and digest the uncomfortable resonance of the upsetting experience. We feel it as it is, without agenda, without manipulating it, and without trying to fix, heal, or understand it. Through this particular step, we trade projection for integration, which we accomplish through unconditional containment. Containment isn’t to be confused with suppression. Suppression is the act of “pretending it didn’t happen” or doing whatever it takes to wipe our awareness clean of the experience. Containment is a declaration that “this is happening,” and that what was initially perceived as happening “out there” finds its cause within our energy field.

Containment is a responsive mode through which we accept complete responsibility for the quality of our experience. It’s an active realization that the emotionally triggered discomfort we feel as adults is a cry for help from our child self. Containment is our way of answering this call. It’s our response to our child self – a response in which, through our unconditional felt-perception, we declare: “I know you’re hurting. I know you’re feeling fear, anger, and grief. I’m now choosing to acknowledge this. I’m choosing to give you my unconditional attention by consciously feeling this discomfort, and to consistently respond this way for as long as it takes for the awareness of peace to be restored.” Through feeling without condition at the causal point of our discomfort, we initiate integration. Integration is the conscious digestion of the unintegrated aspects of our childhood.

It was really good to sit with the intense, physical discomfort of ‘UNFAIR/UNREASONABLE‘. There is/was a lot of dismay, sadness, confoundedness associated with my past experiences of ‘UNFAIR/UNREASONABLE‘. My Aspie being, and my ‘mediator’ self, wants everyone to bring reason and fairness to the table! As I sat with these feelings and contained them compassionately, I started to see what would make a person act in an ‘UNFAIR/UNREASONABLE‘ manner: fear. A spiked amydala. The ego aka Overstimulated Nervous System (Matt Kahn.)

So…… what is my best response to someone being in an ONS state? Well, either I can co-regulate down to their state – maybe the simplest reaction as I’m highly empathic…. OR….

Another phrase of my mother’s arose: I can rise above it.

But this came to me in a new way. Before I’d seen it as ‘ignoring’ the ‘UNFAIR/UNREASONABLE‘.  (shrug your shoulders, Mum would say.) But here I saw it as being ‘REGAL’. Like the portrayal of the young ‘Queen Elizabeth’ in early episodes of The Crown, holding her head high and maintaining her composure and boundaries, when Churchill and the cabinet were being ‘UNFAIR/UNREASONABLE‘… and seeking to undermine her authority.  She simply wouldn’t descend to their rabble-rousing. She super-imposed a queenly RESPONSE where an emotional personal REACTION might have been emerging. What dignity. What self-composure. What self-sovereignty. Talk about emotional boot-strapping.

Nu?

So you are saying: “I am fair and reasonable, even when others are not.”

Heavens… Maybe?

This appears to be the RESPONSE you are offering yourself. When the other is ‘UNFAIR/UNREASONABLE’  you can be FAIR/REASONABLE. 

I can feel the reaction arising in me: “Why should I be fair if they won’t be?!” I guess this is the definition of growing up……….!?!

You could certainly say so. The ability to hold your self as you would wish to be and to feel, even in the face of someone who is unconsciously emotionally charged – and lunging at you – is a sign of your integrating this Presence work. As you integrate your own charged emotions with breathwork and conscious Present Moment Awareness, the charged emotions of others are no longer acting as lit matches to your internal fuel. Because YOU have burnt up that fuel yourself, through your own containment and digestion of the stuck childhood emotions. Beautiful work!

Thank you. This is so helpful. I did also notice that, if work is seeping into my weekends… I can counteract that process, by consciously enacting the Five Ways to Wellbeing (aka CLANG: Connect, Learn, Active, Notice, Give). I talk of this a lot… but need to practise it more consciously. So, after the meditative work above, I made a flipchart to list my main activities across the weekend, and then to note how/if they hit one or more of the 5 Ways. This is good counter-action for some intense work this week, and a good way to redirect my beautiful, vigorous,  intense, attentive mind.

And so, any more thoughts?

Your ‘dragon-breathing’ of last session was a really valuable practice. This is how breathwork coincides with burning up the fuel of trapped and unintegrated emotions. The out-breath is ‘purging’ in qigong terms, as you know. This burn, burn, burn of charged emotional fuel is really sacred work. And it dissolves the pain body so well, largely by keeping you in the present moment, which is entirely where the  integration is received. 

Man, when I practise it, I am astonished at how much ‘fire’ there is! So, I just sit and feel the feels as I breath out, and imagine I am breathing fire through my nostrils… and that does the work? 

Think about the FIRE element in Qigong. 

5 elements of qigong

Fire = Heart = Joy/Hatred

It’s also enhanced by ‘summer’ and ‘heat’… environmental factors naturally reduced now. So it’s for you now to feed your Heart. Fan the flames. Burn the fuel. 

Autumn is also seen as the time for the METAL element, when we sense GRIEF/LOSS – represented by the trees losing their leaves, and the sun retreating…

The METAL element is seated in the LUNGS. So your breathwork processes the GRIEF/LOSS… and restores JOY to your HEART. The heart wants to feel hatred for another when there is not joy. But joy is restored by LETTING GO and RELEASING that which is no longer serving. Like the leaves on the tree. 

So, yes, work with this ‘dragon-breathing’ you have developed for yourself. Discern its power to rebalance you internally. Once you are rebalanced internally, your external mirror will reflect your shift. 

Lovely. Tysm. xxx

I am dragon-breathing

______

It feels a bit like the retreating factions setting their oil wells on fire so no one else can benefit from them…

You mean: burning up the charged louche inside you so there is nothing for others to pilfer or trigger? Excellent. 

_______

Googled ‘dragon breathing’. It’s a thing!

https://www.yoremikids.com/news/july-strike-a-pose-dragon-breathing

Dragon Breath

How to Use Dragon Breathing to Calm Anxiety

I had sensed it was nostril fire breathing vs mouth fire-breathing, but you can do both obviously. Maybe I should work with both. Ty for this work.

Interesting to be evoking the dragon archetype/element. Breathing exercises have often left me cold…. but this dragon element makes me think about how these exercises are not only ‘relaxing’ me, but also helping me embody my strong, powerful, boundaried self.

Bingo. 

<3

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Presence 40: I am Alive To Myself

That phrase, “I am in charge of myself”, has felt so powerful these last few days – like if I just quietly repeated it over and over til the end of the year, I would be doing myself a great service. As if taking healing daily medicine.

When we are in charge of ourselves, we are able to re-charge ourselves at will. Your qigong is a ‘charging’ practice. As is your meditation practice, both sitting and walking. Any time you plug yourself in to the Now moment, (and hop out of Time) you are ‘charging’ yourself. Only You, and your Freewill, can conspire to get you to tear yourself away from the comfortable ‘Dream Time’. 

November’s so dark… And after the clocks change… (June solstice = 16 hours of daylight vs. Dec solstice = 8 hours of daylight!) It’s hard to energise my healthy practices… I know, I’m looking at my phone a lot. Scouring for ‘news’. We’re in Pandemic Lockdown 2 this month! Yesterday was 11/11. I’ve been in once place a great deal. I’ve left the village in a car maybe 4 times in the last 6 weeks…?

Dear soul, all is well! You are doing the work! We see you – daily, running the gauntlet of Presence. We see you, watching emotions arising in your felt-perception, and staying with them, burning them off. 

Yes, this morning, in my meditation, I felt with every out-breath like I was blowing fire out of my nostrils, like a dragon! I could feel the stress and distress of yesterday [major tech issues as I spoke (about my own mental health) at the national conference of my industry’s main professional body] being used as fuel, like Michael Brown describes. Look… [We’re on Week 6 of TPP. My emphases.]

Up until this point in The Presence Process, we have explored three perceptual procedures:

1. We learned how to perceive the surfacing of unintegrated memories as reflections in the world. We call this identifying the messenger.

2. We learned how to access insight from the felt-content of these surfacing memories. We call this getting the message.

3. We learned how to unconditionally feel the pain and discomfort contained in these surfacing memories. We referred to this as feeling unconditionally.

The emotional integration procedure combines these three steps into one integrated perceptual tool. When used consistently, this tool charts a new pathway for our awareness that transforms us from reactive to responsive individuals.

With each application of this tool, we integrate charged emotion that was imprinted in our emotional body during childhood. As the heat – the discomfort in our emotional body – becomes integrated, those mentally entrenched belief systems that arise out of our emotional charge are dismantled. In turn, this decreases our need to gain attention and hence reduces the drama we manifest. It also unplugs the cause of self-medicating behavior. The consequence of this is that the quality of our experience is transformed. (The Presence Process, p178/9)

So a major lesson for me across this lifetime is that of: learning to FEEL the FEELINGS. I’m sure this is common to many, particularly in… ‘affluent’ societies? It was good over the last week or so to work with that ‘Doesn’t Care’ charged emotion. I started by aiming it at another. In the end, once I’d sat with the emotions, (rather than lunging them at another), I got the message: Does Care…. and it had to start with me caring enough about myself to take the remote control of my own life, and be ‘in charge’ of myself.

Tell me more?

Your efforts in this monastic year of silence, of non-movement and of emotional burn-up, are of significant value. This goes for all of you Locked Down in place. Do not underestimate the amount of emotional burn up that is going on globally this year as people learn to sit with themselves rather than wheel-spin,  react, create drama and avoid integrating that which is there to be integrated. Know in your Heart that you are all on the right track. This is a year of reckoning, and the souls of this planet have shown themselves to be Alive to themselves – and to each other. Your work today is to be Alive to Yourself. This means bringing a sense of Alive Awareness to your moments. Just as you affirmed your being In Charge of Yourself this week, now affirm this: 

I am Alive To Myself

_____

The Presence Process on emotions as ‘fuel’ for transformation – further reading – my emphases:

The highest application of the mental body is when it serves to navigate the focus of our attention, while the highest application of the emotional body is when it fuels the momentum of our intent. The mental body is the navigation system of our capacity for being, and the emotional body is the fuel tank containing the various emotions, rather like different grades of fuel, intended to activate varying intensities of movement. This means that our charged emotion doesn’t require healing, as if it were broken. To imagine our imprinted emotional charge as something that requires healing or fixing, instead of integrating, would be no different from a can viewing a can opener as something that requires healing. The can opener simply needs to be put to use, as does our unintegrated energy-in-motion. In other words, dormant within our charged emotions is the potential to “open us up” to unrealized possibilities. Charged emotion is like an untapped fuel cell, which through the process of integration empowers authentic movement. This movement manifests as irreversible perceptual shifts. When we really grasp this, we realize that our childhood imprinting is a means of endowing our body with fuel. (TPP p176)

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Presence 39: I am in charge of my self

I am self-possessed: Can we talk about this?

Of course. 

What is self-possession?

Self-possession is the state of being whereby your own inner being is holding the reins of your thoughts, behaviours and speech. 

You mean the Abraham-Hicks meaning of ‘Inner Being’?

The only meaning of Inner Being. Your inherited self. The self you inherited from your soul at the moment of your conception. 

Like a kind of Mini-Me Soul you get to take into the physical plane?

Better said, the part of you that holds the walkie-talkie to your soul throughout your life. 

I do know that Abraham says if we feel out of sorts it’s because we’re basically in cognitive opposition to our Inner Being. So… what is my mind resisting and opposing to create this current drama? Is it ‘Doesn’t Care’? FWIW, G just came in and gave me a kiss… and he made a lovely fry-up this morning. He may say not a word about my obvious heartache, but he is trying to express that he cares, I think. And then I doubt. And then I look out of the window and I see my farmer neighbour (E.) who lives on his own at getting on for nearly 70, and I pull myself together. Now… that walkie-talkie. What are you hearing it say?!

The Walkie-Talkie to your Soul says:

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy

Aha, the easeful receptive state…

‘Less thinking, more feeling’ right now… That ‘felt-perception’ – what’s there? 

……. Rage. Old rage. It’s trying to come out.

Ok! Now we’re talking. (And you were going to visit that emerging rage on G instead of letting it integrate? Cool stuff to notice all this!)

It’s uncomfy! And I thought I was done with all this, which is why I thought it must be G’s ‘fault’ if I was feeling this bad. :/

We hear you. It’s ok. You’re doing really well. But there’s further to go. What kind of rage is it? [Listening Space clean language question]

Bolstering? Bolstered? Something about bolsters.

Inside or outside? 

In my ribs.

Does this rage have a shape? 

Spiky ball, like one of those medieval balls on a chain on a stick.

Does this rage have a sound? 

Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhh

Look around the room. Is there an object that you would like to explore with regards to this rage? 

The TV remote control. It’s like I’ve been at the wrong end of the remote control – reactive, bossed around (not by G btw – more, work), uncontrolled, not self-possessed! And now I’ve had enough. I want to grab the remote control…. and start to use it on other people. That would have felt like the words of a megalomaniac to me before, but I’m feeling it’s not so much about bossing others around as…. knowing what I want, asking for what I want, staying in place rather than running towards. Grounded. In charge of my own freewill. Lead by intuition.

And if you had that remote control in your hand, what would you know?

That my mind has power, is creative. That I have options. That I can tweak and amend my life, until I see what I want on the screen in front of me.

And what difference does knowing this make? 

It tells me that I should take more advantage of the ‘remote control’ in my hand/[heart], instead of complaining about what’s on the ‘screen’ in front of me.

It reminds me that though the ‘programming’ is strong from the mainstream ‘channels’, I don’t need to be locked to them. I can choose my own channel, my own programmes.

In fact… I can even scroll through the media channels and programmes until I find the one called ‘Does Care’. And engage with that. Where is the channel/programme/community which ‘Does Care’… about the reality/timeline/[heartspace] I am living in?

This [heartspace] business you’re inserting in…?

We are reminding/informing you that the reality that is your locus of remote control, is in your [heartspace]. Thus, ‘self-possession’ occurs not in the head but in the heart. 

This morning I was internally keening: ‘But I opened my heart up to him!…. If that is unreciprocated, then I can/will/must close mine again!’ Show me how this fits.

When you gift ‘control’ of your life/happiness/wellbeing to another, you vacate your heartspace, and have them unwittingly inhabit it instead. When they don’t perform to give you the love you failed to give yourself, you feel ‘heart-broken’. That is giving someone else remote control of your heart. 

When you inhabit your own heartspace, and hold the steering wheel of the vehicle of your own life/happiness/wellbeing, you can not be heartbroken. Now you hold the (not-so-remote) control for your own reality. 

Heart-centred and self-loving. This is the definition of self-possession.  

Beautiful. It’s so intangible. How can I work with this?

Play with the tangible notion of the remote control. You’ll remember earlier in the year you played with the notion of the sound engineer’s switchboard, with tweakable buttons. Use the remote control to play with your reality. Start to learn the power of directed thought. This is the heart of self-possession. 

Have an effect, rather than be affected…

Nicely put. 

——-

Day Notes

Holy moly, this Phil Good video is spot on for me today!!

And I mean… ffs…today we used the term ‘walkie talkie’ for the first time today and look what he says of the Arcturians:

Ooh, fancy that! 

Stappit! No, don’t stappit!! Continue it. ❤️

_____

Next day:

Can we just pick up and finish off? Yesterday, in the video above I noted PG receiving the message he needs to clear out and align the lower chakras, as that is how he will make contact…. Feels v aligned to my sense of holding my own remote control, right?

Your lower chakras are all about home: where is home? am I safe in my home? Survival… Shelter… Rootedness… Who do I let into my home, and who is my home designed to keep out? The Door of your House is Key. Do you sense that? The Door of your House, refers to who you let in and who you don’t – psychically, sexually, emotionally, intellectually. You will always know if you’ve let in a ‘Space Invader’ by the way you feel: closed, cringey, angsty, resentful, impatient. You will know you’ve let in a Friend by the (sometimes overwhelming) feeling of relief, connectedness, mirth, uplift, joy. We are talking about leveraging a new degree of discernment – or at least harnessing the time-old empath’s Knowing, and acting upon it. The child can not keep the space invaders out of their psychic space; the self-parenting adult can. 

And clients?

Clients need to stay outside the Door of your House. We’re sorry about this, but you have tried letting everyone in and ‘hosting’ them [ouch] but it is too draining. They leave the Door open behind them and let all the warm air out of your house. They burn up the energy you need to do your work. So if you really want to be a good practitioner, you need to have stronger boundaries. 

Noted. I hear what you say about ‘hosting’. Not so nice…

You are a kind and thoughtful host. But you have not always been a discerning host. The Door to your House is sacred. Notice it more, and who/what you let in. Hold the keys, and the electronic remote control to that door. You will benefit from this. You will feel more In Charge of yourself, which also means more ‘charged up’ and energised.

This is sovereignty: being in charge of yourself, solely and completely. THIS is mastery of the lower chakra. 

Ty. I will work with this. Beautiful, beautiful – and so helpful.

I am in charge of my self