Peak 93: I am magnetic

I enjoyed looking for Snapshots of Super Simple Satisfaction – and I took pictures of several which I added to the end of the previous post.

My own eating guidelines
My own eating guidelines

I am determined to accustom my mind to appreciating and  adjusting to the Super Simple as a modus operandi. I really am looking for ways to increase simplicity – or reduce complexity in my life. And I’m doing well. For example, after all this work absorbing and practising the Anthony William (Medical Medium) protocols, I have drawn up my own protocols as the following simple guidelines which suit me:


I am using a Daily Food Tracker, a Daily MEDS tracker, a Daily Planner and today I designed a Daily Money Tracker. If my life is too complicated to track what I am doing, then it’s too complicated! And tracking what I do do helps me grow my consciousness of my actions. This helps me s l o w  d o w n.

My money tracker
My money tracker

It also makes me feel more secure, grounded and anchored. It suits and speaks to my beautiful Aspie nature too.

Let’s read.

-29- Whoever wishes to take over the world will not succeed. The world is a sacred vessel and nothing should be done to it. Whoever tries to tamper with it will mar it. Whoever tries to grab it will lose it. Hence, there is a time to go ahead and a time to stay behind. There is a time to breathe easy and a time to breathe hard. There is a time to be vigorous and a time to be gentle. There is a time to gather and a time to release. Therefore, the True Person avoids extremes, self-indulgence, and extravagance. (Tao Te Ching, Chap 29)

Beautiful. I’ll go with ‘avoids extremes‘ as my takeaway phrase. Yesterday I was extremely tired. The day before that I was extremely nervous – and extremely hard-working. The day before that I was extremely anxious. My adrenals can not take it. I can’t take it. It’s not sustainable. And it is not WISE.

I’m heading into such an ‘extremely’ busy period, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to see my loved ones properly. How can I reframe? How can I get WISER on my use of time for work in order to AVOID ANY EXTREMES?

Sometimes we feel virtuous in the extreme push or the extreme occupation. We pat ourselves on the back for being flat out and ‘giving our all’. It is the apparent and visible-to-others antidote to our fear of our own laziness, apathy or self-indulgence. 

Sounds like a classic ‘Protestant work ethic’.

And maybe it is – until we decide to listen to our inner promptings. What do you inner promptings say now? 

Haha, this old chestnut: ‘Slow down, you move too fast…’. Will I ever learn this?

Be true to yourself. You are learning it. And you are learning the boundaries which allow you to put a foot down and say ‘No thank you’ to others. This is all revision, and deeper incorporation of that which you know and are practising. So start by thanking yourself for the work done on this so far. 

Thank you, good me. Well done. Good work. I’m not flying out the door most mornings. I am working on the MEDSAN routine. Can you imagine if I changed things so I had a max of ONE day-long outside booking a WEEK?!

Yes! Of course. That would work beautifully. Or 2 half days in the afternoon. You are welcome to restructure how you work, always. You are learning how to do this. Keeping it all Super Simple is your key to the door of peace. 

That is serious stuff. Tell me more today about keeping it Super Simple.

***10 min MED***

  1. That which we grab, we lose (see Lao Tzu above)
  2. The Magnet does not grab, or reach, or stumble out entangling itself. It lets the correct elements come to it. 
  3. Let your inner anchor be ‘magnetic’ and trust that it will bring to you that which you need, no more and no less. 

No grabbing…

Just allowing patiently, trustingly, tending to your inner state, polishing your gold anchor and keeping it primed. 

I shall not reach and grab. So, today I am…? I’m cautious of saying ‘attracting’…


Ok. Ty. Let’s work with that.

I am magnetic



Peak 92: I am playing the Super Simple game

Heeding inner promptings is like accessing a real-time manual for life inside yourself – if, if, if and when you can remember to turn to it. ‘Worry’, on the other hand, is a great stymie machine and is highly effective at blocking our remembrance of the inner promptings.

I am happy to say the Inner Anchor visualisation is continuing to make me feel more solid, weighted, strong, assertive, anchored in this world. I love it! It has helped me a lot in these last few days when I have been undertaking the toughest casework of my life so far. To go in to a room of disputing, distressed and litigious solicitors, barristers, clinicians, patients and advocates – and be the only one in the room confident we can find settlement requires inner anchoredness – and outright prayers to be a channel for that Mercy, and for Peace, Unity, Love and Light to be ‘PULLed’ in. And, praise be to all that is out there supporting the wellbeing of souls, the case yesterday did settle.

I am ever astonished, humbled and awed by the efficacy of mediation as a tool and a process in seemingly intractable disputes. Thank you, Divine Source of my Being, for the opportunities to be a part of this peace-giving work. I am so grateful and appreciative to have found this path. I am nourished and nurtured by all I learn in this profession.

Heavens! I have a profession! High-five, Team Spirit!

High five, indeed! High ten, twenty, one hundred! We watched, in awe. 

Really? Is that just me bigging-up me??

We watched in awe at the focus you applied. 

I was focussed.

You held, firmly and with conviction, a vision of resolution. That was your gift to the parties yesterday. It was an immovable focus which created space for people to manoeuvre out of their positions. You were like the traffic lights holding the traffic back while two enormous trucks reversed  gingerly out of a tiny cul-de-sac. Well done. 

Thank you. I appreciate that. I know, thanks to my blessed autism, I have the ability to hyperfocus. It’s not always easy to direct my hyperfocus. I am really glad I’ve found an excellent good use for this capacity. May I grow in skill, in impartiality, in compassion for all, in tenderness, in gravitas, in confidence, in courage, in ability to self-care while working hard, in emotional range.

Let’s read today’s chapter.

-28- Develop the strength of a man, but live as gently as a woman. Become a brook and receive all things under heaven.  If you are such a brook then Virtue will constantly flow into you and you will become a simple child again. Know the pure but live the life of the sullied. Become a fountain to all things under heaven. If you become such a fountain then you will have abundant Virtue and you will return to the state of the Uncarved Block. When the Uncarved Block is cut up into pieces, it is turned into specialised instruments. But the True Person makes use of it whole and becomes the master of the instruments. Hence, it is said, “The finest carver cuts little.” (Tao Te Ching chap 28)

I’m going to pick out words related to a repeated concept of Lao Tzu’s, that of the ‘uncarved block’: ‘you will return to the state of the Uncarved Block‘. I’m reading that for myself as:

  • super simple
  • fancy-free
  • unadorned

You know what, as I get more developed in my profession, I can see a path towards reducing my fancy-pants jazz-handery, and becoming ever more simplified. Really, the less I did in the case yesterday, the better. It was about tiny, really well-placed and carefully-judged nudges – largely in the form of questions that gently challenged entrenched thinking and stimulated new ideas of framing the troubled circumstances.

What does a person need to do this work? Nothing really.  A computer and phone. Then the energy to put in the preparation, and be there, in an internally anchored state.

To be Present and Internally Anchored, I do well to sustain my MEDSAN routine. That really is a key part of my ability to do the Work well. It’s not a ‘nice-to-have’. It’s essential. I can not pitch up to do this work in a fizz. It’s not fair on the people involved. My role is to turn up as a heavy anchor, as an uncarved block which does not opine, but holds back the traffic… Mixing my metaphors now. Your advice today?

You love alliteration, and so do we. Super Simple sums it up. This is a game: How Super Simple can you make each decision, action, space?

What is Super Simple to you? 

I guess Super Simple, in the style of the Uncarved Block, is non-fancy, unadorned, true. Like an arrow’s flight might be true (accurate or un-erring). Let me meditate on Super Simple. So help me, my Super Simple Soul. #TeamSpirit!

***15min Med***

Arising: a) tears of grief b) ‘boundaried’

Super Simple: unadorned, fancy-free, true = easier for a person who is Well Boundaried. 

The Uncarved Block has held her boundaries well, that’s for sure. The carpenter’s knife has not come near her.

So, play the Super Simple game thus: 

  1. Develop the Inner Anchor (gold) and let it’s glow permeate out around you to create a good, healthy boundary. 
  2. Go through your day and actions holding the #Focus of looking for snapshots of Super Simple satisfactionThe Super Simple is very satisfying – it speaks to the heart, you see. Eg. the ‘mown lawn’ creates a powerful Snapshot of Super Simple Satisfaction for the mower, because it is pleasing to the heart. 

In the work of #ReachPeaceTeachPeace, this is prime #ReachPeace, isn’t it?

Indeed. Which of course also makes it prime #TeachPeace. 

Yes! Ok, so today, this Uncarved Block is going to count her Snapshots of Super Simple Satisfaction by playing the Super Simple game.

Send photos!

Ok. Then I will.

I am playing the Super Simple game




Here are some snapshots:

Peak 91: I am heeding inner promptings

This concept of having an anchor of gold, or Light, within me, is so helpful. It grants my core/torso solidity, my shoulders uprightness, and my brain a strong backbone to sit upon.

Anchor with a chainThis morning I found this image (right), which I like too, as it denotes a chain connecting one upwards. It’s also a good representation of the line, ‘The solid must be the root of Light’ from yesterday’s Tao Te Ching reading.

I am happy to work with this image and physical visualisation for a while. I feel it’s valuable to me, especially as I go in to quite stormy case work in the week ahead, and demanding trainings thereafter.

Let’s read.

-27- A skilful traveller leaves no track. A skilful speaker makes no slip. A skilful reckoner needs no counting rod. A skilfully made door requires no bolts, yet it cannot be opened. A skilful binding has no cords or knots, yet it cannot be untied. Therefore, the True Person is skilful in assisting people, and abandons nobody; Is skilful in assisting things, and abandons nothing. This is called “Following the Inner Light.” Therefore, the skilful person is the teacher of the person without skill. The person without skill is the material for the skilful person. If you do not respect the teacher, if you do not care for the material, you are on the road to confusion and your cleverness will not save you. This is an essential principle. (Tao Te Ching, chap 27)

My takeaway from this chapter is this:

By following the Inner Light, we can pass on assistance wherever needed.

What is this Inner Light?

Promptings. When you really commit to STO, you will constantly be guided to the next place or ‘site’ of service (SOS). The Inner Light is the wellspring of inner guidance that acts as a torch or headlamp casting light where darkness occurs, and therefore bringing illumination, or ‘enlightenment’. Every human being is invited to become a channel for Light, and to shine that Light into dark corners. It’s oh-so-easy to get distracted and caught up in the darkness, or attached to one’s manifestations of Light. Do you see? If the execution of the bringing of Light becomes the point of a person’s focus, rather than the heeding of the next prompting, we fall behind on the day’s schedule (and people and things get abandoned, as Lao Tzu indicates above).

Interesting. Are you saying that each day starts with a ‘SOS’ (site of service) schedule for us, as if we were an Amazon delivery driver, or an agency domiciliary care worker, with a bunch of addresses to attend to..?

It is easy to trivialise this work, or make of it a ‘game’ or worse, an ordeal to be overcome at speed. Inner promptings to serve, to assist, to teach are beautifully precious. Do not put yourself on ‘the road to confusion’ – for ‘your cleverness will not save you.’ Have respect for the Teacher – the teacher in you, and the teacher which is you. 

Duly noted, dear voice of my learning. I sense the promptings in me as flighty, colourful butterflies that dodge my gaze, and certainly my touch. How can I heed these inner promptings better?

***Med 15mins***

‘Sense or hear the pain in others – including your loved ones; dialogue with that pain directly, unflinchingly.’

{crying} It hurts. I don’t know if I can… I’ve become less able to get close to the pain of others, especially my loved ones… The thought of my father in emotional pain or anguish reduces me to tears. I can’t ‘go near it’.

Yes you can, dear soul. Oh yes you can. You just need a new approach. 

:-(( Well, you better teach me. Please.

It’s to do with letting Mercy flow through you. This, as opposed to going in and trying to fix, or make well, or mend, or reassure, or generally do anything Mind-led, problem-solving, ‘sympathetic’. If you can be present to others in a Heart-centred, parasympathetic state, you can be a channel for Mercy. That is what pain is a cry for. Mercy. 

I really barely have a full sense of Mercy… Explain.

Mercy is the ‘deliverance from evil’ described in the Lord’s prayer. 

Oh Lord. Help me understand this. :-(((====

‘Deliverance from evil’ merely means the restoration of the normal state, which is one of neutrality or love. Love is balanced: it neither takes or receives, but flows in infinity. Evil is the unbalanced state of excess or insufficiency where Scarcity reigns and resources are fought over. Mercy introduces, or re-introduces, the knowledge of abundance, of enough, of sufficiency. ‘God is sufficient unto me’ is to say: in the divine realm, there is no lack. 

To sit next to another soul in pure confidence of the divine realm of ‘sufficiency’ is to be a channel of Mercy. 

This is truly beautiful. I guess being well and truly anchored internally is an important foundation for this service. I am so keen to learn how to be present to people who are in pain without losing my bearings, or becoming untethered, or burning out.

Trust in the sufficiency wholly. 

May we all learn and comprehend this divine sufficiency. May we be able to be present to each others’ pain and speak to it directly and without flinching. May we dialogue with each others’ in a calm, parasympathetic state. Let us all learn this gentle conversational art. Let us learn to hear and speak with and listen to the pain in each other, that we may be a channel for Mercy. May the inner promptings within us all act as our guides to Sites of Service. May we all learn to hear the voice within us which points to our next appointed place. May we step forward with complete trust in divine sufficiency, and convey that confidence to the next person. May our empathic traits not cause us to resonate with the pain of another, but rather to sense the pain of another and to approach that other in a state of pure, perfect peace. And in this way, may all people and all things receive the assistance they seek.

I am heeding inner promptings




Peak 90: I am anchored

Picture of Little Miss Sunshine
Little Miss Sunshine

I got a shock yesterday. My Little Miss Sunshine approach burnt itself out in the face of ongoing coolth.

Maybe it is not for you to warm the coolth? Is ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ an aspect of your essential self? 

I guess she’s not. She sure hit the buffers yesterday – right at the end of a long day out.

-26- The solid must be the root of the light. The still must be the master of the restless. Therefore, wise people when travelling all day do not lose sight of their baggage cart. Although there are beautiful scenes to see, they remain quietly in their own place. Should a lord of ten thousand chariots appear more frivolous than a simple traveller? To be light is to lose the root. To be restless is to lose the master. (Tao Te Ching, chap 26)

Yes, well, this is extraordinarily apposite. Yesterday, out travelling all day, I applied (excessive?) lightness and levity to make it all ‘easier’ – and then maybe resented (?) that in-pouring when I ‘lost sight of my baggage cart’ (had a bike accident). In his commentary on this chapter, Stefan Stenudd says, ‘Eagerness to act tends to create more problems than it solves.‘ That could be very much said of me yesterday. ‘Remaining quietly in my own place’ despite the aforementioned coolth, might have been more helpful.

Tbh, I feel stressed and nervous by the behaviours arising.

‘To be light is to lose the root. To be restless is to lose the master.’

Grant me gravitas and stillness then, please.

The word ‘frivolous’ above resonates with yesterday’s word, ‘ridiculous’. Are you ready to honour the light-in-you as ‘Light’, as opposed to ‘levity’? 

Levity as opposed to gravity/gravitas?

It is not about becoming weightier or more earnest. It’s about understanding that Light is simply not frivolous, ridiculous or childlike – just as the Divine Feminine is not a weekend festival posture. Sometimes we throw away the gold in favour of fragments of slate because we cannot recognise innate value for what it is. 

‘The solid must be the root of the light.’ This means that underpinning our external warmth must be an inner anchor of solid gold – nothing else is weighty enough to create the groundedness required for the work ahead. 

How shall I develop this weighty inner anchor of solid gold? I have a certain sense of it…

Stenudd comments: ‘Being heavy and still, a ruler does not eagerly spring into action, but waits until it is time, and then does just what is called for. Nothing more.’

So, to this question: How shall I develop this weighty inner anchor of solid gold?

***20 min unguided Med with Insight Timer***

The realisation that being anchored is not about: being a floating ship that can cast out an anchor that will fall to the sea floor and create some weightedness.

Being anchored is about having an internal anchor, and therefor being weighted and still in oneself.

When my meditation focus shifted today from ‘I am floating like a balloon on a string attached to a golden anchor’ to ‘There is a gold anchor in me’, I noticed how much more solid and upright I felt. No more floating. No more ‘Little Miss Sunshine shines a fuzzy light on things’. Solidity internally – of gold, of Light, of qi.

Good. It’s a safer sensation than floating, isn’t it? Do you fear people will be put off by your solidity? Well, maybe it is triggering for some people not to feel they can push or manipulate you. That’s a good thing to remember. Their being triggered by your solidity is a warning sign to you. Their being triggered by your jovial facade is par for the course – they are seeking your authenticity, as are you. 

So, given this. What’s the next instruction?

The word you were looking for in your ‘How To 1’ post was ‘Message’.

Ah. Good. Well, what’s our Message for today?

Be vigilant in yourself today – vigilant as the wise person keeps an eye on her baggage. Keep wakeful. Keep anchored. 

And the teaching?

Why do you wait for another’s approval? Post on. Keep anchored. 

I am anchored



How To 1: How to have a Dialogue of Discernment with your SoulSelf [Preface]

A Dialogue of Discernment on how others might get going with their own Dialogues. I ask my {Soul Self}….


How might a person start to undertake these ‘dialogues of discernment’, this ‘autotherapeutic journalling’, these ‘SoulSelf conversations’? What should they know? How might they begin? 

Who is this person who is wanting to Dialogue with themselves? 

Oh, you know. Anyone. A person who is interested in healing, or exploring their own thinking, or downloading their best ideas, or contacting their ‘wise mind’, or increasing their spiritual awareness on their own terms. Someone interested in accessing consciousness in a new, but highly personalised, way. That kind of a person.

What expectations do they have? 

Well, they might be expecting mute silence on the one hand, or full-blown channelling on the other. They may have no expectations, or they may be ripe for this work and just needing a small nudge to get going.

And what are your expectations for them? 

Discovery! Liberation from seeking advice from others. I used to scan spiritual texts and personal development books for imperative verbs that I could follow: ‘Pray..! Seek..! Ask…! Humble yourself…! Wait patiently…! Surrender…!’ I think these dialogues liberate us from seeking answers outside of ourselves. I think they link us to our own innate wisdom, and therefore grant us a personalised curriculum that suits us right now. For example, I know that over the years, certain themes have been taught to me very gradually. The full lesson in one go would not have helped me learn the theme deeply – and the joy of the gradual revelation of understanding would have been lost to me.

So, I expect gradual discovery with a personalised curriculum for this person.

And certainty that the guidance is trustworthy, becomes it comes from within.

And how would this person like to be assisted to get going?

I guess with some pointers on how to get in the right state? On how to relax into the process? On how to stimulate the questions which will promote a good dialogue. To know how to drop concerns about ‘doing it right’.

So what would be your advice to such a person? 

  1. Choose your preferred writing option – hand-written or typed – being prepared to experiment with both to find out what’s best for you.
  2. Get comfy and turn distractions off – but also, just as in mediation, know that interruptions/noises are fine and part of keeping us grounded in the world.
  3. If you want, you can read something you find stimulating or inspiring to get you in the frame of mind for thinking about your themes.
  4. If you want, you can start the flow of writing by writing down your ‘gratitudes’ from the day before – listing all the things you appreciate about the previous 24 hours.
  5. Whenever you feel like it, write down a question and then write whatever you think is a good answer.
  6. Follow up with a comment or another question. And continue.
  7. When you get to a really juicy question – you can try pausing and doing a (3min+) meditation with that question at the back of your mind. You can then roll with the words arising as you meditate, or simply continue with writing after the mediation knowing that the meditation will have allowed your subconscious mind to do some helpful filtering and processing.
  8. Look out for a phrase/message that you can take forward with you – a word, a few words, an affirmation, a sentence. It’s right when you feel a sense of interest, intrigue or even inspiration from these words. They don’t have to be radically deep words at all! They will be a bit of fuel to work with over the next day or week or so.
  9. You can also write down further thoughts, prayers or affirmations to bring in deeper intent towards working with the phrase.
  10. Finish by writing the phrase down in its entirety. You can also write a reminder of it and leave it in your phone, desk, calendar as prompts just to mull the words over, and let your sub-conscious mind work with them.

Is it a phrase or a word? A message or a suggestion or an affirmation? You don’t have a word yet. 

‘Thought for the day’? But it can be for more than a day. `It’s for as long as it bears fruit for you to mull over…

It’s a Message, from our inner guide, our internal wisdom, our higher self, our cosmic mind, our intuition… Whatever the person prefers. It’s a Message, perfectly construed and timed for the person receiving it.



Peak 89: I am cherishing my essential self

Ok. I prayed for courage. And I acted courageously yesterday – swimming in the sea! And I was also overcome by anxiety all of last night… 🙁 I am astounded by some of the things going on in the world at the moment too: the Amazon burning, Gran Canaria also on fire, Australia in drought, Trump retweeting a tweet proclaiming him as the second coming of Christ, Johnson corralling the country to a vicious Brexit. What’s happening? I hardly dare take my eyes off the horizon…

And in your actual world? 

I’m behind on my comms. 🙁

Do them, dear one. 

I will. Thank you. This courage. Grant me a brave heart for these times…

Let’s read:

-25- Something formless yet complete, existing before heaven and earth. Silent and limitless, it stands alone and does not change. Reaching everywhere, it does not tire. Perhaps it is the Mother of all things under heaven. I do not know its name so I call it “Tao.” When I have to describe it I call it “great.” Being great it flows. It flows far away. Having gone far away, it returns. Therefore, the Tao is great. Heaven is great. Earth is great. People are also great. Thus, people constitute one of the four great things of the universe. People conform to the earth. The earth conforms to heaven. Heaven conforms to the Tao. The Tao conforms to its own nature. (Tao Te Ching, chap 25)

Ok. So. What is this Tao / Way thing, in my actual world? Where do I see it? What is it to me? Where do I interact with it, and how?

Every time you flow, you are in alignment with the Way. The Way is flowing. This you are aware of. What is the opposite of flowing? 


When you are in a state of resistance, you have stepped out of the Tao stream. You are on the riverbank walking upstream again. It’s fine, because you can jump back into the downstream flowing river again whenever you wish. 

When you look at the news – are you in flow or resistance? 

Tbh, I don’t know. There’s something blissfully passive about consuming the news, especially on FB where it’s curated by my bubble of heart-centred, planet loving, empathic friends.

Let’s try again. How does it make you feel when you passively consume FB? 

Both relaxed (zoned out and mentally switched off) and fixated.

There we are. This is your message. You would do well not to use uncurated (uncurated by you) reading for relaxation. Go back to your books. Ok? 

Yes. I hear you. Last night was a blip. But the images are so compelling… 🙁

It is highly important that you do not consume – or ‘imprint’ – images of destruction and tragedy while in a zoned-out state. Ok? If you want to know about what is ‘happening’ in the world, sit up, get your laptop out (not your phone) and do the research – and. then. take. action. Any passive, saddening, bewildering consumption without massive loving action is tantamount to adding your loosh to the bonfire. 

I think that is the hardest talk I’ve had from you. I hear. May I act accordingly.

Let’s go back to courage and link it to today’s reading on flow.

Courage is love in flowing action. Love is activated by courage. Flow is courage inspired by love. See? 

I see you saying that there is a dynamic connection between: LOVE, COURAGE & FLOW..

Your mission this year was set as the following: Reach peace; teach peace. LOVE, COURAGE & FLOW are the expression of peace in action. 

Where do I need to pour more love, courage and flow?

In your teaching. 

I need to overcome my fear and sadness and shame.

It is forgiven – as soon as you forgive yourself and others. 

Start now. 



***15 min med with Insight Timer***


The old world paradigm would make the new world paradigm ‘ridiculous’. Hold firm to that which the so-called arbiters of taste and wisdom point at as ‘ridiculous’, ‘pathetic’… especially the ‘snowflake’ argument. Allow to rise up in you that essence of you that is priceless. Priceless: unpurchasable, not for sale, not to be bought or traded. 

There is so much of me that I have feared to bring forward lest it was called ‘ridiculous’.

What is more ridiculous? Love, gentleness, intuition and softness – or a system of values that would engulf your planet in flames?

Exactly… I am embracing the ‘ridiculous’ aspects of me as we speak.

The ‘ridiculous’ peace-makers, dancers, pray-ers, lovers, whirling dervishes, healers, magicians, miracle-makers… Will they bring their spirits to bear this day? 

I am cherishing my essential self as we speak.

Let your essential self come forth. Gently. Use your ‘How to’ category with love. 

I need time. And peace.

You have all the mornings ahead. Be patient. Be still. 

I am cherishing my essential self (it’s flowy – and what others might call ‘ridiculous’ but it’s far from being so)

Peak 88: I am praying for courage

Having my Heart take centre-stage is an intangible thing – but putting ‘the invitation’ out there is not.

I was pondering in my wakefulness in the middle of last night, upon the ‘Gordian knot‘ of my thinking around anonymity and being upfront and public about my real thinking. Just before I slipped off to sleep, I caught sight of the Gordian know as a wall around my heart…

Let’s go easy on these images. Maybe it’s simply that there is timeliness to be considered. 

Ok. Yes. Good. More later on this?

In another kind of post. 

Got it.

-24- The person on tiptoe is not steady. The person with legs astride cannot walk. Those who look only at themselves see little. Those who justify themselves are not distinguished. Those who brag have no merit. The work of prideful people will not endure. From the standpoint of the Tao, these things are “excessive food and tumours of the body.” As they bring sickness, followers of the Tao do not linger around them. (Tao Te Ching, chap 24)

The theme here appears to be pride, arrogance, vaunting, hubris or as Stenudd puts it, with a good dose of compassion, a world full of ‘self-appointed stars‘. Hm, an interesting chapter in light of my question above around ‘anonymity and being upfront and public about my real thinking’. I know what’s going on in that question, and it is to do with, hm, being ‘special’.

But what about being helpful?


I’m reading Simon Haas’s book on Yoga and The Dark Night of the Soul. He talks about Bhakti yoga as the yoga loving service.

Teach AJ. 

Yes? How do I know?

Do it.


***10 med with Insight Timer***

Arising in meditation:

‘Pray for courage, and then follow instructions courageously’

Ok. Today I pray for courage. I think I see the link here with today’s Tao Te Ching chapter. It takes courage to be authentic; it doesn’t take courage to brag or boast or justify oneself. Right?

The courageous person must often do the things the ‘proud’ part of them would flee from.

I’ll keep an eye on this. Am I being proud or courageous in any one moment. This will be a good guide or barometer to where my heart and mind are at.

Pride or courage? Courage or pride? What’s leading in this moment?

I am praying for courage


Later in the day this appeared on FB from Matt Kahn:

Quote from Matt Kahn on the ego



Peak 87: I am inviting my heart to take centre-stage

That moment of return, the start of the ‘homeward-bound’ journey. Can we discuss that? In the image I drew yesterday, there is that mountain-top moment of ‘Yeah, I’ve arrived!’ which can also equally be a moment of ‘Enough! Make it stop!’

It’s a turning-point, pictured at the top of the mountain – the peak of the mountain. Is this the peak to which the Peak Project refers?! Those peak experiences I was after at the beginning of the project – some sort of direct line to euphoria, or whatever I was hoping for… Well, were you actually leading me to this realisation that we reach, what?, Peak Struggle & Strive, and then turn homewards? Explain, please.

Yes! You set out on this particular experiment seeking external experiences to internalise – ‘places to go’ and ‘things to do’ that would stimulate your endorphins and produce serotonin for you. We needed you to discover that actually a major paradigm shift was ready to occur in you. Pushing yourself to Peak Struggle & Strive was going to be your doorway into accessing an altogether softer paradigm. If you could but rest your Self in to the new way.

And the Taoist thinking is supporting you to do that – it is giving you a guided ‘come-down’ from your previous faith in Efforting. No-effort is the way of Tao. No-effort is the mantra of the Homeward-bound journey. 

Man alive. Fascinating…

Read on… 

-23- To talk little is to follow nature. A whirlwind does not last all morning. A sudden shower does not last all day. Who produces these things? Heaven and earth! Even heaven and earth cannot make wild things last long. How then can people hope to do so? People of the Tao conform to the Tao. People of Virtue conform to Virtue. People who lose the way conform to the loss. Those who conform to the Tao are welcomed into the Tao. Those who conform to Virtue are welcomed into Virtue. Those who conform to the loss are welcomed into the loss. Those who do not trust enough will not be trusted. (Tao Te Ching, chap 23)

There’s lots with real philosophical depth in this chapter, but I’m going to run with this nugget of wisdom: A whirlwind does not last all morning. If the journey up the mountain teaches us anything, it’s really that factor of ‘This too shall pass‘. The Homeward-bound journey is not necessarily about a world without whirlwinds or troubles or travails, I imagine, but rather about knowing now not to wrangle with the unwranglable winds, but to trust that they shall pass. Save energy and let the whirlwind pass. Right? 

Right. Very good. Very helpful.

Can’t we come a bit numb to suffering though and end up hovering in a cave while the turmoil goes on outside?

Sure, if we lose our compassionate nature, but the heart is the home of compassion, so if we continue to follow the heart’s vision, which is to spiral inwards homeward-bound, then compassion will travel with us. 

Is my heart centre-stage in my life?

***Med: 3m with Insight Timer***

Your heart can take centre-stage in your life if you so invite it. The heart is the original all-season protagonist: it survives whirlwinds, sun-drenching, floods and droughts. Invite it in to your scenario and let it take centre-stage.

Yes.  This. May my heart’s vision be my vision. May my heart step forward and lead the narrative. May my heart project its beautiful energy out in to the world, where my mind would have led with words. May my silence be vocal when my heart is centre-stage.

I am inviting my heart to take centre-stage. 


  • Sometimes I see that Mind is simply not up to the job of running my life.
  • When Madame Mind, the charismatic lady of the manor, has exhausted herself ‘running the house’, Mrs Heart the Housekeeper comes in, takes stock of the chaos, and puts things back in order.




Peak 86: I am Homeward-bound

Yesterday was beautiful – full of walks and nature and peace and quiet. We’re on holiday. It’s gorgeous. I didn’t ask many questions, but I did ponder the notion of asking questions here. I’d like to start by asking about the work I/we do here. Would that work?

Yes. It’s a separate post though.

Ok. Good. Let’s read our Tao Te Ching chapter.

-22- Yield and overcome; bend and be straight. Empty out and be full; wear out and be renewed. Have little and gain; have much and be confused. Therefore, the True Person embraces the One and becomes a model for all. Do not look only at yourself, and you will see much. Do not justify yourself, and you will be distinguished. Do not brag, and you will have merit. Do not be prideful, and your work will endure. It is because you do not strive that no one under heaven can strive with you. The saying of the Old Ones, “Yield and Overcome,” is not an empty phrase. True wholeness is achieved by blending with life. (Ref)

So the theme is ‘Yield and overcome’ – along the lines of ‘surrender’ – and the example for me is this: ‘Do not look only at yourself, and you will see much.’ This indeed. Across my life I’ve needed to work closely with this. Autism and acquired trauma had me somewhat bouncing off the walls of my own internal consciousness. It took healing and courage to start to dare to look outwards, in confidence that my unguarded self was safe. Yesterday’s walk was a hearty example of this. Oh, this art of embracing the No-Thing and the Every-Thing without reference to self! Plenty there to be worked with. Now to gently, self-compassionately turn down the ‘volume’ on self-justifying, being prideful and striving… So what is meant by ‘yield and overcome’?

*** 10 min meditation with Insight Timer & self-reiki synced with breathing***

What if we were to tell you, softly, that you are homeward-bound? Would that scare you? Maybe it would, because you are so used to swimming out to sea, away from shore, it’s as if returning towards the shore would count as death. Let us explain to you the meaning of being homeward-bound, and you will learn the meaning of ‘yield and overcome’ for you at this stage of your life. You are 44. A grand number. A holy number too. What if we told you that your years of climbing the steep mountain-side had borne fruit, and that this age finds you at the top of the mountain, with a slow, steady, easeful descent towards the ocean ahead of you? No, this is not to say you are dying, anymore than any living person is always en route to their release from this physical life. We are simply saying this: the uphill climb is done; yield to ease. The long swim out to sea is done; let the incoming tide carry you home to shore. The seemingly-endless steps to the top of the playground slide are done; enjoy the view and the fun descent. You can stop climbing, striving, efforting. The homeward journey is blissful, because gravity carries you along. Your work has borne fruit. Enjoy the fruits of your travails, your journeying. Yield, yield, yield to this moment. 

It’s a beautiful vision. May I understand this more deeply and more truly every day. This I can glimpse: I’ve survived past the average life-expectancy for humans across most centuries of human history; I’ve borne my blessed children – everything else is just a gift given…

…and received?

And received. I receive this gift of life, of enjoying the fruits of my work, my learning, my studying, my striving, my child-rearing. I am learning how to dance with the life I have created for myself now. It surely is an art.

And what about ‘overcome’. As I yield to this moment, and the next, what am I overcoming?

In yielding to this moment and the next, you are overcoming a passionate belief in lack, in ‘not enough’. Oh, do not recoil! The mind’s illusion of ‘not enough’ is a fire cracker up the behind of the best of humans, to make them spiral outwards and create, and open up, and seek, and discover… It’s just that it’s hard to know when to stop that spiralling outwards, and to shift from mind-vision to heart-vision, and begin the spiral inwards

The heart’s vision is to spiral inwards? 

Exactly. The heart knows of ease, of miracles, of the homeward-bound journey – and most of all, it knows, yes knows, of the Ocean at the mouth of the river, and so it loves the tumbling downhill from the mountain-top through the streams and rivulets, to the rivers, to the estuary, to the glorious Ocean below. The heart loves the return journey. It is for this reason, the soul grants itself life after life after life. Align yourself with Heart, and love the return journey. 

May I understand myself as the water particle which evaporated off the sea under the heat of the midday sun, and rose giddy and teeteringly into the sky, to gather timidly with the giant, moody clouds, until the pressure got too much, and I fell as rain tumblingly and hit, yes, hit, the mountain top… May I know myself as the water particle now safely on land and dancing downstream easefully and joyfully, Oceanwards – Homeward-bound.

I am Homeward-bound

Peak 85: I am asking good questions

No-Thing = Every-thing = Always-So.

When we flow with No-Thing we’re basically removing resistance aren’t we? We’re giving up wielding our judgement that seeks to categorise the thousand things into Yes or No, Right or Wrong, Acceptable or Unacceptable…

Exactly. And the end result?

Wonder, on tap. Every-where.

Spot on. Our wonder is not diminished by this incident, or that, because essentially there is no more ‘this or that’. 

-21- The Great Virtue is to follow the Tao and only the Tao. The Tao is shadowy and intangible. Intangible and evasive, and yet within it is a form. Evasive and intangible, and yet within it is a substance. Shadowy and dark, and yet within it is a vital force. This vital force is real and can be relied upon. From ancient times to the present the Tao’s instructions have not been forgotten. Through it can be perceived the beginning of the story of life. How do I know how it was at the beginning of the story of life? Because of what is within me. (Tao Te Ching Chap 21, pg 13) 

I like Stefan Stenudd’s commentary about this inscrutability factor (shadowy, evasive, intangible, dark… with a vital force within it) of the Tao:

‘Einstein proved that time is not a constant. Much to his frustration, quantum physics discovered that the smallest pieces of matter refuse inspection, since they are affected by our scrutiny. Not to mention string theory, yet to be accepted, where the building blocks of the universe seem to be dancing. The universe appears to be described quite accurately, although obscurely, by the words of Lao Tzu.’ Stefan Stenudd

So, the Tao, just like particles, can not be examined because it is affected by our scrutiny, like the bird that senses our gaze and flies away before our eyes can focus upon it.

So what’s the answer? Not to look upon the mysterious at all and get on with life, or to let our side-eyed gaze hover around the periphery of the mysterious, as one might try to catch sight of a person’s aura?

Good question. Settling now into meditation…

**** 10 min med with Insight Timer****



Lovely lovely lovely!

I want to open two new Categories in this diary-blog: How To (where I put questions to you) and With My Teachers (conversations with people who have supported and taught me, on what they know and what they shared with me).

Is that a good plan? #AskingGoodQuestions

Softly. Always softly. Asking softly and listening softly. Rest with today’s insight for now. Asking good questions is a precious art in the Taoist path. 

I am asking good questions (softly, and listening, softly).

I am asking good questions