Peak 43: I am emanating love

Yesterday, when I was delivering my (somewhat dreaded because of its import) training session on suicide prevention and intervention, I sat solidly (to the degree possible) in the mode of looking inwards rather than outwards for approval. The result, inside me? Less jazz-handing. Less fawning, vaunting, performing. Much more listening, remaining present, fostering inner stillness and balance. The outer result…? A room full of settled, engaged, open-hearted participants. The quality of input from the group was exceptional. Really, what a bunch of deep souls. Maybe all participants in my training are deep souls and I’ve just drowned out their wisdom by my misguided can-can dancing for their intellectual ‘approval’ of the content, quality and expertise of “my” training. Yesterday, the experts in the room really were the participants. And my role was confidently to hold space for them to externalise their expertise…. and their souls’ knowings. (These were frontline staff who work with the most vulnerable people in society, sharing their knowing on the theme of suicide…).

At the end of the training, one person came to me to thank me for the session with these beautiful words, which I must savour and hold in my heart to understand how special this response was, at the level of my soul…:

“You just emanate love!”

I think that’s really the best feedback I could ever receive, isn’t it?

Can you receive those words in the way in which the universe deployed them to you?

Maybe. If this became my one guiding principle and value and activity and MO for the rest of my life…I’d do ok wouldn’t I? As long as I didn’t fetishise it, or make it into a dull, empty cliche…

Dude! Come back! Try again…

Ha! Ok. Second time round:

If ’emanating love’ became my one guiding principle and value and activity and MO for the rest of my life…I’d do ok wouldn’t I?

Yes, siree Bob. You would do ok, indeed. 

Why not play with this orientation over the coming days, especially in those tangled comms with people who you perhaps sense or perceive to be in a closed-hearted state? 

The dear soul who delivered those kind words to you yesterday (Emily) also described how she had finally identified herself as a highly-sensitive person (HSP) – and you both discussed how this factor, which you share dear Aspie friend, was a gift not a liability. So remember this too: the HSP can swim freely like a dolphin above the weighty sunken ships of closed-heartedness if she is prepared to do her HSP thing… which is to emanate love!

Love emanation gives you wings! I have this image of ceasing to go face to face with the heavy, grumpy, confused, cross, nervous souls (which I have somehow lined myself up with as a mercenary gun for hire), but getting lift-off on rocket-boots by charging oneself up with love and then emanating it… Also like Mary Poppins and co., rising to the ceiling with laughter.

The state of emanating love is a high-frequency state. It doesn’t clag up with passing low frequencies. This is where your empathic qualities have made it hard for you to do comms – because you have sought to meet people on their (often heavy, defensive, sad, materially weighted) frequency to communicate with them. No need, sweet soul. Fly high and then scatter sunshine-scented missives out of your hot-air balloon basket.

I ain’t no angel.

Says who? Everyone is an angel. Angels on earth need to find out how to gain their wings again. And you are discovering that ’emanating love’ gives you back your angel wings. When each soul puts on their wings, they permit others to do so too. You are but following those who have forged the way for you, no? It’s not about being special. It’s about playing the game of life, which is to be an angel of heaven who wakes up wingless on the set of the Hunger Games and has to find her wings to rise up and out. We joke… about the Hunger Games, to tickle you, and release some of your self-seriousness about the ‘human being’ predicament. As you full know, heaven is indeed, indeed, indeed a place on Earth. This is known by your heart and soul. The game of your life is to convince the Mind of this astonishing, non-intellectually perceivable Truth. What an adventure. 

You are emanating love. Congratulations. You have unlocked Level Love.

Ha! Nice. Beautiful. Blooming.

Remain playful. This is a game of wooing your Mind. Play Love Emanation with 5 messages in the next 10 minutes, and see how it goes. Then off, on your weekend away you go! 


I am emanating love

Peak 42: I am looking inwards to my heart and soul for approval, not outwards

In that rested zero-point I hear myself say: I am not a gun for agency hire. I have my own mission.

So… what is your next step in inspired action?

The new website: MHM? And associated trainings for me. And in my work I need to keep more of an eye on my alignment with my higher perspective than on super-empath-ing with people who are in pain (and judgement of me/others), if I am to do my work consistently. Not easy, apparently, but more sustainable in the long run.


I think it means that…I look inwards to my soul/heart/presence/inner being/source for approval of my actions, not to my fellow humans? Sounds humanly risky, but probably metaphysically right?


I am looking inwards to my heart and soul for approval, not outwards


Peak 41: I am at zero-point rest in myself

A busy, difficult, full few days have passed (more-or-less social media-free btw) . I have endeavoured to give comfort and reassurance here and there. I may have both depleted myself, and also done the opposite of that which I intended, along the way. To be frank, I’m really struggling with my mental wellbeing. Yesterday, I could barely function – I did no work and spent much of the day in bed, wrangling internally with varying degrees of grief, distress and numbness. Can you reorientate me?

‘You’ve got to pray just to make it today…’

Connect me, please. Reconnect me.

You are never disconnected. We are always here for you. You are held eternally in the palm of God’s hand. 

‘Losing my religion…’

…Was difficult. And also part of your plan. 


To learn personal connection.

I long for God with every particle of my being.

Here is some comfort and reassurance, beloved soul: God is not elsewhere. 

Where are my receiver mechanisms then?

In your very stillness. 

I long to retreat into zero.

Be your own guest. 

What does that mean?

Imagine you are a warm and welcoming house. Enter into yourself with curiosity, gratitude and appreciation. Look around. Explore. See what’s there. Use the facilities. Feel at home. Rest. Rest. Rest in yourself. Be at rest, in yourself. Find the retreat centre within yourself. Nowhere to travel to, no ticket to purchase, no suitcase to pack, no strange bed to occupy. Find the ‘retreat into zero’ within your own sweet self. 

And the prayer? The connection with God?

Yes, it is. All of this is embodied in the retreat into your own internal zero-point of stillness and worldlessness – [typo for ‘wordlessness’ but I like it]. 

Be still and know that I am God? Maybe… I worry that I am self-absorbed with all the I Ams…

Holy, holy, holy… Be still and know that God is. 

This seems so radical… Focus my mind and my heart, please, oh soul of my being. Loose me from my entanglements of ego and delusion. Rest my attention on that which truly is. Light. Love. Peace. Unity. Up-raise my gaze that it might rest only upon that which illumines us all.

Consider it done. 

And settle me, ground me, steady me, anchor me. Let my mind and heart unite in the business of this life. May I get on with things. May I be productive, kind, effective, connected, giving, servicial, receptive, settled. May I be a beacon of light as others are to me. May I learn ‘the art of good human’ at an exponential rate now, for these days are gifts I could waste in lamentation. Inspire me, daily, hourly, minutely, momentarily… that I may receive the light of all goodness in my heart.

Oh God, guide me, protect me…

Consider it done.

Find that zero-point retreat inside your self. 

‘I am retreating into myself’ doesn’t sound quite the thing….

Whereas ‘I am at zero-point rest in myself’ is quite a different thing. 

Even in the face of difficult work? Shall I rest? [I’m training a group on suicide prevention tomorrow.]

Yes, especially and essentially in the face of difficult work. In fact, to do such work without complete inner calm is extremely hard for you, and your attendees. Settle into inner rest and see how your approach to the work shifts. 

Ok. Tysm. As ever, I am so grateful for these sessions. Amen. Amen. Amen.

I am at zero-point rest in myself


In that rested zero-point I hear myself say: I am not a gun for agency hire. I have my own mission.

So… what is your ‘next step’ in ‘inspired action’?

The new website: MHM. And associated trainings for me. And in my work I need to keep more of an eye on my alignment with my higher perspective than on super-empath-ing with people who are in pain (and judgement of me/others), if I am to do my work consistently. Not easy, apparently, but more sustainable in the long run.


I think it means that…I look to my soul/heart/presence/inner being/source for approval of my actions, not to my fellow humans? Sounds humanly risky but probably metaphysically right?


I am looking inwards to my heart and soul for approval, not outwards


Peak 40: I am giving comfort and reassurance

I note that on the road to conjuring the vision conjured, I experience ‘hurting’ arising. It’s something about getting over the uncomfortable bridge from inaction to executive functioning, or knowledge to performance, or thought to movement. It actually hurts inside. So I resist it. This is part of the autistic experience, I must remember. It’s the pulling in of the tendrils, or rather feeling them being sliced off, as we change tasks, especially shifting from a floaty meditative thought state (which is pretty much how I stim or seek relief, including by zoning out on social media), over to a doing state. Can I note ‘hurting‘ as a way to acknowledge the suffering of changing tasks compassionately AND ease on through it?

I just did my morning Waking Up meditation. Today it was on loving kindness – a happy antidote to hurting. I focussed it on my beautiful, noble brother. It made me cry as my heart opened to the thought of him happy. Afterwards, I opened my eyes to see, first thing, an IG notification that my brother had ‘added to his story’. Like a wave back to me from him across the ether. Lovely.

Ok, onwards. The Conjuror Conjuring. I nearly said the ‘conqueror conquering’. Maybe it’s that too.

Also, recall the aspect of ‘giving out to others that which you wish to receive’ can be applied consciously for healing. For example, as you give out loving kindness so is the universe able to wing it back to you.

Yes, resulting in less ‘hurting’. Well, at times, I also wish to receive comfort and reassurance.

Maybe you can give comfort and reassurance to others today, that you might be strengthened by it yourself too.

Just realised something – as I watched something horrid on Twitter (‘just’ a politician manhandling a Greenpeace protester) and felt my psoas muscle reclench after a heartily-unclenching bike ride….. Am I incessantly micro-retraumatising myself by using pendulum-laden Twitter as a zone-out stim?




Delete for now

For always. It does you no good, and your apparently passive attention to the disunity, the decisive politics, the glamour of the intelligentsia wordplaying… actually actively adds energy to the pendulums you would prefer removed from the world. Actively.

Do you have the discipline to stop resting your attention on the material which imperceptibly micro-traumatises you and which sucks your psychic fuel from you? Including tv programmes, Twitter…? You are adding to the problem. Eyes on the vision. Strong psychic hygiene. Refreshed spiritual boundaries. The conjuror conjures that which is most give in her mind. If you would watch this divisive, toxic brain bumf you’d better take off your conjuring cape.

Ah. I see. Thank you. Let me work with this…..

I do note that my actual interactions on social media are confined to what I might term ‘fawning’ or ‘vaunting’. Not very nice. Or helpful actually.

Give what you would receive.

Ouch. Yes. My social media interactions don’t serve any defined Mission (except self-service..). So the Conjuror Conjuring on social media ends up spinning her own sweet plates. No actual upshot, advance, gain, relief, comfort, reassurance…

Give what you would receive.

I would receive comfort and reassurance. Let me endeavour to give what I would receive.

I am giving comfort and reassurance




Peak 39: I am the conjuror conjuring

“I am the completer completing…. Appreciations. It is complete.”:

  • Breakfast preparation
  • Morning meditation
  • My morning writing
  • My shower
  • My journey to work
  • My lunch
  • My afternoon training session….

The strong thought ‘I am a completer completing’ gave me internal mission blaze yesterday.  I thought about that book on… let me look it up… Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill – the nub of the book was, the self-sabotaging part of our psyche promotes drifting, whereas definiteness of purpose sets us on a whole alternative path (paradigm, timeline).  I sensed yesterday that being a ‘completer completing’ SIMPLIFIES life too. The target is defined; all energy and action is geared only towards meeting that target. A bit like Villanelle on an assassin mission, but benign. Me, I’ve been too easily distracted…

Your work with the Compassionate Mind Workbook is giving you a softer view of yourself actually. It has revealed:

  • life experiences which created…
  • internal and external fears in you (eg judgement by others, criticism, shame, impatience), which spawned…
  • protective/safety strategies (including shoving yourself, hesitation, over-deliberation, paralysis of action), which caused…
  • unintended consequences (largely, making the self invisible and exhausted by wheel-spinning).

Now, dear soul of your own heart, you are learning to make yourself visible – not for the purposes of jazz-handing, but for the purposes of claiming your own space in the world and recouping energy. It is time. Your time. 

Thank you so much. I appreciate that. The Completer Completing can get things done, even with incoming distractions and difficulties.

Absolutely. Part of the ‘game’ is deftly batting away those incoming ‘aliens’ and ‘space invaders’ as you complete your mission. Just like an old-fashioned Atari game. 

I like that. I think, in my fearfulness / politeness / obligingness, I’ve been prone to having my head turned my every incoming space invader. In the end, overwhelmed by endless reacting, I shrink back and avoid everything…

To be fair to you, rarely now do your avoid everything for long. Your efficiency and agency has increased exponentially. 

Thank you. Ok, so, tell me more about this ‘game’.

The game of freewill, agency, creative gusts. 


Creativity blows through us like a gust of wind. It’s about channelling that gust when it comes, and riding the motion forward. 

So, creativity is different to just ‘getting stuff done’. This is not just about staying on top of demands.

Absolutely. The Completer Completing is a martial artist of the creative arts. She waits for no permissions or ‘right times’. She is primed and gets the job done. 

The benign assassin again.

How does this apply to our days?

Each new day is either:

a) limited time to get all that stuff on the list done before it swamps you (aka run from the incoming tide) or

b) a clean, fresh, glowing, empty canvas of a day upon which you may paint exactly what you choose (aka watch the tide go out and draw upon the sand)

And how do I shift from mindset A to mindset B.

By definiteness of purpose, as the completer completing, according to her preferences.

How do I stop my ‘definiteness of purpose’ from becoming more of ‘shoving myself to do the terrible tasks on my lists’?

The painter starts the painting with an image of the completed work, and acts as the channel for that work to be created through her. She surrenders her eye and hand to the impulses of creativity, while she holds a very definite vision of the completed work, open only to the spirit of the muse to improve upon her vision. She is undoubting about her end vision. Like an architect foreseeing a building, though not a brick has been laid. 

She has faith in her vision and her ability to bring it to completion.

She is the completer completing. That is the work of the Work. 

How do you know when your vision for the day is ‘complete’ and set, and it’s time to move from visioning to execution?

When you feel uplifted by your plan for the day. When you feel stirred and like getting out of your seat. Not before. 

Today is my Dad’s birthday and my best friend’s wedding anniversary. I’m seeing them both to celebrate.

Celebrate you say? 

If I can only get my work done, the house up together, the presents ready… 🙁

Sounds glum. 

Feels glum.

So what’s the end goal / vision of the day? 

Happy, celebrated, loved-up loved ones. Snap! I can almost see the photos this evening.

Excellent. ‘See the photos.’ How do you look and feel in those photos? 

Happy, chuffed, expansive, relaxed, loving towards my loved ones…

And how do you feel now? 

A bit heavy, slothful, weighted – like I’ve a mountain to climb.

A mountain to climb to get the stunning vista photograph at the summit. 

Yes… I don’t feel stimulated by the idea of the summit at the moment (which is typical for my days – not a reaction to celebrating my precious loved ones!).

That’s fine. This is all part of the exercise. Can you remember a previous time you felt ‘happy, chuffed, expansive, relaxed, loving towards my loved ones…’? 

Yes. Various.

What’s the feeling as you come away from those events and times. 

A lightness, a warmth, a connectedness, also a relief at stepping down from social self-regulation…

Ok, excellent. This notion of social self-regulation is really important. It’s the masking, the chameleon, the camouflaging aspect of achieving so many things in the world… which is tiring and daunting. What would happen if you didn’t have to enact social self-regulation

If all feels much more achievable… To go as myself… It’s just I worry my Self doesn’t actually give a shit about whether I turn up with presents and clean clothes, or on time.

What actually motivates your Self? 

Golly…! I’m not entirely sure! Freedom of movement, expression, rest. I’m worried I’m a terribly self-absorbed person.

Try moving into a state of expansive self-expression. And then watch the self-absorption melt away. Why? Because you start to enter a true dialogue with your present reality, rather than re-acting the scenarios of old, or mimicking your childhood role models. (Now that is tiring and boring.) You being you is energising. You self-regulating is exhausting. 

Ok, but I do need this image for the day that uplifts and moves me forward with definiteness of purpose. I need the completed vision.

  • The house is up together and stocked with food for the girl
  • The suitcases are ready and the presents are lined up ready too
  • The work is submitted for next week
  • It’s 3pm and I’m ready to go.

That’s the next milestone for the Completer to complete. Great. How does the Completer look at 3pm? 

Happy, relaxed, ready…

What is my message for the day?

How about: I am the Completer Completing her vision

Like, the vision of the completed painting. So, my next ‘snapped’ picture is of the suitcases and presents by the full fridge, and my desk clear.

Yes. Try drawing it. You are learning the magician’s skill of conjuring. 

Man! Can we say that aloud?!

Each human is a conjuror. That is the human condition. 

‘I am the conjuror conjuring’?

Have you set your vision clearly? 

I guess so.

Then why not? 

I am the conjuror conjuring






Peak 38: I am a completer completing


  • iPrefer to do my exercise in the morning
  • iPrefer to have eggs and greens for breakfast
  • iPrefer to have breakfast as brunch, mid-morning
  • iPrefer to do my QT and then my meditation
  • iPrefer to use an app for meditation (Waking Up)
  • iPrefer to follow my preferences instead of being an eternal chameleon fitting in with what I perceive to be others’ preferences, and thus denying my own true personhood.
  • iPrefer to have a gentle morning of attending to personal life, and then a focussed working afternoon.
  • iPrefer to start significant activities on the hour, or half past. ?
  • iPrefer to listen to channels while I cycle
  • iPrefer to deal with my executive functioning lapses by… starting again on the hour / playing Switch20 / melting in some reframing / lowering the bar
  • iPrefer to limit myself to 4 hours seated computer/phone time per day (excluding morning QT), as I get stress and trauma held in my body / hips / psoas muscle
  • iPrefer to cycle three times a week to get the trauma and stress out of my body
  • iPrefer to tidy as I go if I can

What else should I know about my preferences?

They feel soft.

iPrefer not to go to work today… That’s nice and soft…

How about, ‘iPrefer to overcome my anxiety about work today by…’

Avoiding it.


Feeling on top of it. By getting ready, reading through my training slides for the session I’m delivering… Getting there early. Supporting myself to feel soothed. Ah, yes… Self-soothing strategies.

Yes! iPrefer and Self-Soothing go hand in hand. How best can you self-soothe now?

Yeah… by being and feeling prepared. My executive functioning freezes when I feel anxious. (=> PDA) Keeping the old exec functioning going so I don’t need to rush and turbo-charge sounds good. One step in front of the other. It’s still early. One step, two step. Target: “I am prepared.”

iPrefer to feel prepared for what’s ahead.

But also I’m a perfectionist and a reflector so I delay completion.

But the word ‘completion’ gives you a sense of relief, doesn’t it. Are you aware in each moment of what you are working to complete?


Do you notice when you have completed the task?

Often I’m on to the next thing…

Which is maybe why your tasks seem never-ending…

How better can I mark completion so that I get that sense of satisfaction, relief and increased confidence in my ability to complete whatever I next need to work on?

Acts of anchoring moments of ‘completion’ can benefit from small rituals.

Today I would like to develop my small ritual of completion… Ok.. It goes like this:

Hands clasped together; forefingers joined in pointing; mark the moment with a sense of appreciation and the words, “It is complete.”

I am a completer.

Indeed. Let that be the basis phrase of your day. Remember to affirm your present action: completing. Remember that strong, clear thoughts override default (troubling, troublesome, troubled) thoughts. Strong thoughts well-stated imprint on your reality powerfully.

I know this to be true because just now, having received the message about do/complete loud and clear, instead of standing up to go for my shower, I slid onto my phone, drifted into opening the iPlayer app, and found myself sneaking a peak at info on series 2 of the very scary Killing Eve. As my eyes resting on the first stomach-clenching thumbnail picture with the line ‘Eve is in Villaneuve’s flat’, an almighty ‘whoomph!!’ behind me made me jump out of my skin. I flew round in my chair to see a pigeon flying away, clearly having flown into the window a foot behind me. Did my fearful thinking simultaneously attract a highly fear-inducing experience into my reality?

Thought => Reality.

Ok… I can choose my thoughts wisely…

Strong thoughts well-stated imprint on your reality powerfully.

And my clearly stated thought is this:

I am a completer, completing.

Peak 37: I am playing iPrefer

Reflecting on being ‘heartened by who I am’, I can say that my heart softens physically when I reassure it that I like myself. Funny isn’t it?

The inner child remains always – and is a good barometer for that powerful indicator of spiritual wellbeing: self-love. 

Aha. Self-love as an indicator of spiritual wellbeing. How am I doing?

Improving always, dear soul. You are ready, as ever, to take down the barriers to an authentic relationship with your own self. 

I do see that there are many opportunities in life to increase our attitudes of non-judgment, compassion, acceptance towards ourselves.

And the conditions we find ourselves in. 

I guess taking the stinging, ‘othering’, separating resonance of ‘JUDGMENT’ out of our psychological repertoire, whether towards ourselves or others, can only be a good thing.

You mention a ‘good thing’… Interesting. What is the opposite of a good thing?

A bad thing!

And the discerning factor here would be…?

Judgment! There’s a judgment call on what would be a good thing, and what a bad. But isn’t that crucial – to be able to discern what is good and bad for us?

Within ‘reason’. Reasoning, discerning, ascertaining are all progressive in their unfolding of ‘logic makes action’. Judgment is an excluding process. ‘That’s bad, that’s out…’

So you are saying not to chuck the baby of ‘reasoning’ out with the bathwater of ‘judgement’.

We are saying keep an enquiring mindset going, constantly being open to both ‘yes’ and ‘no’, so that otherwise binary positions are embraced.

How does this relate to being ‘heartened by who we are’, or being authentic and true to ourselves?

The binary (yes or no) mindset is prone to judgment. Judgment is prone to casting out entire swathes of knowing before reason has discerned truth. Judgment chases the inner child, or the inner being, or the quiet voice of self, out into the playground where it feels over-exposed and intimidated, and shrinks away. Our delicate 360 degree self wants to make itself invisible in the playground of binary judgments.

What parts of myself have I judged, or do I hide, disown or not welcome? Any shadow selves want to step forward?

Psychic Psarah here.

Oh, man… [Gulp] Hi Psychic Psarah. What do you have to say?

PP: Simply that you often ignore the voice of your intuition. 

My apologies for that… It’s that I feel I have to keep a mind/logic-orientated footing in the world, to fit in.

PP: Your loss is all our losses. You leave us exhausted when you go by foot instead of by magic carpet. 

What would have me do instead?

PP: Simply play with following your preferences, as you started exploring the other day. Play ‘iPrefer’ rigorously, lightly and with some joyful commitment… and see where it takes you. 

Ok, dear PP. That I am happy to do. I can see it will be good for me, and for those around me, as I learn to focus on discerning and responding to my inner preferences, instead of ‘bending’ to external conditions in obliging ways which actually confuse those around me. I can see that iPrefer is an upgrade from iJudge. iPrefer revels in the’ wanted’ aspects of life; iJudge makes quite a big deal of, and therefore magnifies, the ‘unwanted’. Any further advice?

PP: Repetition, repetition, repetition… 🙂 

Thanks. Cool.

I am playing iPrefer


Peak 36: I am heartened by who I am

If being ‘heartened by blessings’ is the way to start relaxing the heart and begin sensing the unceasing inflow of gifts from above and around (including noticing and responding to the immense kindness of our loved ones…), what is the way to know who we are in our most authentic version of ourself? I ask this as I have this sense of a bridge across a river, and I’m about 25% across that bridge.

On the original side of the bridge is the world where we fit into a given, acceptable or formulated identity (‘the trusted professional’, ‘the normal parent’, ‘the everyday businessperson’) and we hide our non-‘outside’ self, so as not to frighten the others with its quirkiness. We live a bifurcated life, but that is the price we pay for being trusted in the 3D world.

On the other side of the bridge is a world where we present readily, openly and authentically, as All Of Ourselves, with the quirky, mysterious, unformulated parts of us worn as freely and lightly as we used to wear corporate scarves.

Readiness. Readiness is the word to sit with. The question is: who is ready? Not: ‘Who is ready to see others in their 100% identity?’ But rather, ‘Who is ready to be seen in their 100% identity?’

Is it like coming out? The person decides when they are ready…?

The unification has to be complete internally first. As long as the person sees their two identities as distinct, or at odds, or as mutually excluding, their internal resonance is dissonant. Thus, ‘coming out’ with hidden elements of themselves will provoke a sense of dissonance in the receiver. 

However, should the person be able to accept themselves completely, just as they are, and find all aspects of themselves to be coherent with their true beautiful whole, then the presentation of a complete self to the world will not jar externally anyway! 

It feels like it’s something to do with getting a clearer sense of the bigger picture one is acting within…?

Absolutely. If a professional person sees their professional world as the only/most ‘important’ part of their world, they will flood into its every corner proudly and completely. And that gives a sense of fulfilment.

But perhaps a person can see their professional work in a broader perspective. Perhaps they map it into a socio-economic context, and feel its significance in terms of impact upon lives lived. Or perhaps they see their day-to-day actions as part of a political movement… Or perhaps they see their life’s work against the backdrop of a paradigm shift in global consciousness… 

What is the anchor for you?

Undoubtedly, my interest, for 25 years – maybe even since I went to my first conference on the study of Time aged 14 or so – would be the paradigm shift in global consciousness.

There. That is helpful to know isn’t it?

It certainly makes my worldview feel more coherent in its wide-ranging breadth. Less off-beat. Less controversial. Less like it’s letting down the LinkedIn Pact of Professional Rectitude.

What would happen if I abandoned LinkedIn and all of those other ‘professional platforms’ altogether?

Nothing but progress, dear soul. 

But what about the platforms that actually pay me?

Let them pay you, exactly as you are. And let them let you go if you don’t fit their criteria. That’s ok too. 

It makes me think of Christians (most of whom I know love their faith and most importantly, Jesus, so very deeply) – who might choose to be ‘out’ or not in their professional field. Those who use the fish symbol on their business marketing will gain and lose some customers… but they will have been authentic first.

You can gently let go of the idea of being ‘out’, dear soul. Get inside first, and find the integrity in your thinking and worldview. Step away from thinking you have suddenly, or in any way, to lob your naked self out into the market place. Absorb the complexity of your worldview, and integrate it. Feel its wholeness. Like all of you as you are. 

Maybe I can play with being heartened by… who I am??


I am heartened by who I am



Peak 35: I am heartened by blessings

Yesterday, playing with the ‘warm-hearted state’ was reassuring and connecting. I experienced some beautiful family time, and the afternoon together felt expansive, welcome and warm.

This morning, I’ve been awake since 4.44am. (Before that I woke at 2.22am.) Sitting reading prayerfully in the kitchen, I experienced a sensation of presence. What was happening?

Just the light letting you know it saw you. 

It flicked off/on three times, and then a fourth later when I picked up my book again.

Sometimes you forget how electric is the field of your thought, dear friend. You know that there is a great deal presenting itself for reading and interpretation on your plane. 

Why the veil? It’s so tiresome sometimes…

The veil is present to draw out deeper skills. Remember the descriptions you heard yesterday of two people’s experience of learning to type – one with stickers placed over the letters on the keys, and the other with a shield over the entire keyboard for the hands to slide under? The result – two excellent touch-typers.

I am learning ‘blindly’, but I keep thinking how great it might be to have the definitive, up-to-date textbook, or be able to talk to the tutor.

You do, you can. Part of the learning is about ‘trust’. 

Trust in..?

Trust in the flow of gifts granted, in answer to your every stated need. 

‘The flow of gifts granted.’ Please explain. Is that akin to ‘every prayer is answered’?

Think of a letter box. Sometimes, you order parcels which are bigger than your letter box – yet you don’t sit next to the letter box waiting for the parcels magically to squeeze through! In fact, you anticipate the knock on the door, and then you open the front door when you hear the knock, to have the parcel delivered into your hand. 

Are you saying I don’t hear the knock or open the door?

We’re saying that sometimes, if you but opened your door, at the time of the knocking or later, you would find gifts galore stacked up on your front doorstep. 

All you requested is brought to you. Not all of it do you let into your ‘home’. 

Why not?

Self-worth factors, in the main. You can’t see it’s for you. It looks like it’s a parcel with someone else’s name on it. Or… you’re so busy efforting and puffing and grunting with determination, you don’t hear the door knock, and the parcel ends up ‘returned to sender’ for the time being. 

So, what is the remedy?

You’ve put several requests out there, though you haven’t clearly articulated some of the really important ones yet, but nonetheless, as Abraham would say, there’s a lot in your vortex! Let it in. 

The art of allowing..?

The art of allowing. How can you allow the good stuff in if a) you don’t think you deserve it, and b) you haven’t admitted you want it (ie by stating your preference)?

I’ll admit I’m hazy in my requesting, sometimes.

Leading by truest preference is the key to creating heaven on earth.

That’s deep. Yes, what even would ‘heaven on earth’ be for me?

I guess a playful world of joy, love, uplift, mercy, acceptance, community, communion, mutual respect, softness... universal warm-heartedness!

Nicely articulated.

‘Do no harm!’

And instead…

Create only love and joy and harmony.


I thought earlier about the notion of ‘connectedness with soul family’. Any comments here?

Oh, dear soul, you’re deeply connected with your soul family! At all times! You are surrounded, connected, in constant communication. Never forget how the human being is actually created. Each one is so very much more than the human vessel you experience yourself to be. You remain in true connection, both on the physical and spiritual planes, with your soul clan at all times. 

Is there anything I can do to attune better to my ‘tribe’?

Your authenticity is in seedling form in terms of the next phase. 

Yes, I’m really stuck with the theme of authenticity… Help, please!



It is done. 

You’re so playful with me… When do I see it?

No-one likes a time-based question.

Ok. That’s cool. Thank you. I’m getting it: gifts granted… listen for the knock at the door. Open the door…

What you are yet to fathom is the never-ceasing torrent of beneficence breaking as waves upon you. You could find ways to sense the blessings of God upon you in clearer ways. It would free you up to relax more. As you relax more, you attain equanimity. As you attain equanimity, you settle more into an awareness of ‘divine presence’. And as you settle more into an awareness of ‘divine presence’, you need ask for less. You become more and more aware of the perfection of all as it is. You stop praying for this and that. You avoid striving for this and that. You certainly give up rejecting, judging, othering… You start to become truly independent of spirit. You become free to see reality as it is – miraculous, soul-feeding, heart-filling. 

May this be so, with all my heart. Is the phrase something like ‘I am counting my blessings’?

Thank you for that suggestion. It is on the right track. Try I am realising my blessings. Or I am realising I am blessed. Or I am realising blessings. Or I am heartened by blessings.

That’s it. Maybe just ‘heartened’?

Get over yourself with the word ‘blessings’. 

It feels a bit ‘insta’…

Haha. Heavens upon you, dear friend! 

Ok. I give in!

I am heartened by blessings

Peak 34: I am growing warm-hearted

I like the Love’s Ambassador game. Catching the Now state is not at all easy, but just tapping into that stillness, so that an awareness of love can be present, is a good-feeling practice.

This morning I saw a short film of the Dalai Llama answering a girl’s question to him: ‘What would be your one piece of advice to the children of America?’ His reply was to develop both a ‘ sharp brain’ and a ‘warm heart’ in equal measure. Beautiful. Your thoughts on this?

Good morning, dear soul. Your company is always welcome here. The ‘warm-hearted’ aspect settles right into the previous conversations about being present and slipping into the role of ‘Love’s Ambassador’. Can you feel your heart in the ‘warm’ state?

I can! I know exactly the physical shift I feel when I move into the warm-hearted state. It’s different to being ‘open-hearted’. There’s a particular kindness, compassion and….an easeful ‘tolerance’ to all that is, including the stuff the mind is trying to label as ‘wrong’, ‘stupid’, ‘treacherous’.

You can observe the mind labelling, and still steady the heart so that it should not close down or flee. It’s a very accepting state, isn’t it?

Yes, and it brings me relief because I don’t need to change, remedy or correct anything in that state. I can love everything exactly as it is: not because I am ignoring imperfections, but because any perceived outer imperfections do not threaten my inner stability. They don’t trigger my amygdala, I guess.

Aha! Beautiful. Yes, the warm-hearted state disarms the amygdala. It’s a profoundly self-soothing state. It gets ahead of the game of reactivity, by decreeing everything as acceptable and lovable before it even arises.

‘Whatever arises, love that’, says Matt Kahn.

Matt Kahn also talks about becoming ‘heart-centred’. The feeling of warm-heartedness is a stepping-stone to becoming heart-centred.

What does ‘heart-centred’ mean?

Heart-centred means ‘governed by the heart’.

As opposed to the mind?

It’s not quite one or the other. You see, the heart would never take a unilateral approach. The heart is always considerate of the mind. The mind however, in a governing role, often squeezes the heart out.

And what does ‘governing’ mean in this context?

Setting the goals, policies, principles upon which decisions are made, and actions set.

Performing the sovereign role.

Would the Mind act as dictator, and the Heart as consultative leader?

The Heart facilitates an overall state of wellbeing, balance and harmony. That is its aim. Whereas the Mind undertakes to perform actions for the sake of stated outcomes. ‘The end justifies the means’ would be its approach.

The warm Heart keeps a hand on the rudder of the sailing boat to ensure steadiness of motion forward towards an overall destination.

The Mind hops off the wind-powered boat to take the petrol-powered jet ski to the destination instead. It’s super fast, but it may stir up deep waters, leave pollution, frighten off the wildlife, run out of fuel halfway there, annoy other water-users, bump into swimmers…

Yes! This I can relate to. When I get into a Mind-governed state, I feel my heart harden over (partly in self-protection, partly to silence its voice), and I go into super-drive.

How best shall I remain in the ‘warm-hearted’ state today?

Place you hand on your sternum from time to time, and feel the ‘reading’ you get. Check in with your heart mentally too, especially when you’re talking to another. Lead with softness when you go into a new situation. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Observe feelings arising, and invite them in – don’t flee from them or shut them down. Let discomfort, fear, anxiety be present and welcome, should they arise. Don’t dismiss any emotions arising. Connect upwards. Lean forwards into your day, heart first. Use your breath as an anchor, breathing into your heart to let yourself grow warm-hearted, organically and at the heart’s own pace.

Thank you. I like this exercise.

And it likes you.

I am growing warm-hearted