Presence 55: I am self-validating

I took “Mais oui! May we…” to my Away Day with my colleague. And I set this intention: “Mais oui! May we… be united in our approach – as colleagues and as friends.” It changed the way I approached the day, very much for the better. I was less self-focussed, and yet gave myself USL by prioritising the feeling of ‘unity’. We didn’t ‘achieve’ much during the day – but got on wonderfully across our day in this beautiful hotel, we bonded deeply, and even managed to come up with the name for our collaboration. Interesting learning for me, who can be so outcome/action focussed – maybe to the detriment of some professional relationships.

Silently declaring “MAY WE BE UNITED in our approach.” is a route to peace.

And it rests on a foundation of Self-Validation. 

Exactly… I’m not coming to the other person saying ‘Validate me, approve of me.’ I’m saying: “I approve of me. I approve of you. Let’s be united…”

It simplifies life when collaboration is the first principle. 

Yes! Yesterday, G showed me a JP video in which he (JP)  talks about ‘the complexity problem’ as being the underlying many instances of poor mental health. I really, really related. He says that when our lives become too complex it affects us. This can be a series of say five catastrophic events. Indeed. Or simply ongoing chronic complexity…

How do I stop the complexity problem in my life? Simplicity has been a theme for years! It’s saying  mais non to others’ vision, and mais oui to my own vision. Right? This is why I’m moving to the SoD….

It is simplifying to follow our own inner being, rather than the inner beings of everyone else around us. 

Since childhood I was entrained to jump to the inner being of the other. Show me, again and again, how to hear and prioritise my own inner being. How do I let that sweet small voice of my Heart’s desire grow so loud I can use it to determine and enforce my No’s?

Grow your sense of self. Grow your sense of vision. Vision. Vision. Envision. Live in your reality. Look about you a little less. Look inwards a little more. Listen listen listen…to the voice within. Articulate that voice. Write up what you hear. Paint it. Draw it. Describe it. Enact it. Declare it. Tell your story.

I feel I want to let AT and the SoD be separate entities… They can be intertwined. But if AT.com is my ONLY business facade, that is a lot of pressure to be a normie there. I don’t think I’ve ever used that word before… Weird.

Hm… What next? This from TPP:

Our unconscious definition of love is the resonance of the emotional signature we experienced as children whenever we needed to be loved. Consequently, we unconsciously recreate the resonance of this emotional signature whenever we feel the need to be loved unconditionally and whenever we attempt to show unconditional love to a specific other.”

So I can reflect on how I would confuse VALIDATION with LOVE. Naturally, because (as with most children) I got love/acceptance when I was a good girl, or did something good / worthy of approval. So I’ve created a v complex life with multiple opportunities a day/week to Do Good… and get the validation of applause or approval or good feedback.

So you’ve had enough of that now? 

Almost.. I notice that one of G’s traits is not to shower approval or ‘congrats’ or ‘well done’. It’s been good for me. To stand on my own two feet, and not act to trigger his ‘well done’… Tell me more about this?

You used to splutter and refute the idea of saying to oneself “I am good enough.” No? But in truth, if you can bring this statement as KNOWLEDGE to your days, you are going to enter each day as a self-sufficient person – this means you are able to give, aplenty. This is service. The person who will not grant themselves validation, USL, self-approbation.. must receive from others as they give. This makes a neutral, or zero sum energy exchange in some instances. However, bring your complete self-validation to the table, and you are ready to go… in service to the greater good. You ‘need’ not from the next person. 

This is serious business. Declare: 

  • I am good enough
  • I am more than enough
  • I am more than good enough 
  • I am more than qualified to serve in this realm
  • I am here on the qualification of my soul…

To self-validate is to simplify everything. It is to grant ourselves self-sufficiency and auto-immunity. 

Thank you. I will work with this today. I had a feeling we were moving from “I am… ” statements to “May we…” statements.

Not yet, dear soul. Not yet. 

Take full ownership for yourself, and your global, mutual, intertwined prayers will be the order of the Day. 

May I self-validate. May I become entirely self-sufficient in terms of self-approbation and self-love. May I listen to the still, small voice of my Heart’s desire, and let that be my guide, today and every day. May I turn within, and see all truth and knowing there within me. May I take ownership for my thoughts and feelings and actions. May I know myself to be all that I need to be to be of service in this world. May I grant myself that self-sufficiency and auto-immunity today and every day. And may we all do likewise according to our plan and vision and mission. Amen.

I am self-validating

 

 

Presence 54: I am declaring “Mais oui! May we…”

Praying my way through four tube station changes in London was so sweet. “May I feel relieved and peaceful when I arrive at lunch, even though the train and tubes are running so slow. May we all feel relieved and peaceful in each others company today.” So comforting, so gentle, such a helpful set of priorities.

And I loved “May we…” as a prayer launcher – partly because it sounds like “Mais oui!” (But yes!) – so excellent. And largely because I like the prayer that encompasses us all. “May I” can feel a bit relentlessly self-orientated. But I truly do wish for us all (in the room, on the tube, in my family, in the country, in the world) any good thing I might wish for myself. Not just for altruistic reasons – but for selfish reasons, in the best way.

Take this prayer for example: “May I experience peace in my heart”. The prayer can only go so far if others around me are peace-less in their hearts. Whereas the prayer “May we all experience peace in our hearts” is actually more likely to grant me a peaceful experience than the “May I..” prayer. I’m an interdependent human. The good for others enhances the good for me. It cannot detract from it – especially as we are in a creative world of abundance.

I’m going to play with Mais Oui – and we can discuss it tomorrow? A few words from our sponsor?

We love Mais Oui. Feel how it spirals you up the Emotional Guidance system. Feel how it allows you to …. cease backbiting. 

Ouch.

No worries. But you did ask us to address it earlier. Backbiting – your term not ours – drags you down. It is the ultimate Mais Non! … in the negative, low vibe manner. “May we all…” is a way of wishing improvement and development for another, and noting that you too could benefit from such improvement. Backbiting of course is a hard magnet for karma. In others words, it pulls into manifestation in YOU that which you have crucified the OTHER for. Beware. Take care. Use “May We” instead… and do it DIRECTLY to the person. “Darling xyz, MAY WE do it like this instead?” Be brave. Dialogue! 

Ok. May We. Got it. Thank you. More tomorrow.

May we learn together in the groups this morning and this afternoon. (I’m training.) May we feel good in each other’s company. May we be inspired by each other. May my colleagues and I collaborate effectively across the day, always supporting each and appreciating each other. And may we all love ourselves unconditionally so we don’t need to “look for love” from each other, but have margin to love all that is. Amen.

_____

Next day:

Well, I fell in to grievous ‘complaint’ mode after someone wrote a stinging, dismissive comment in a feedback form yesterday morning (“I’ve forgotten half of it already.”). At lunch time, I railed and lamented about corporate cultures… blaming the firm for dabbling in weapons… I unleashed my sadness and grief on both AS and G… Then I went for my lunchtime walk… and remembered this line from TPP p213:

“We are now ready to make a causal impact on our unconscious definition of love. This unconscious definition of love is responsible for all the unpleasant circumstances we manifest whenever we “look for love,” which is what we are doing most of our waking life. Our unconscious definition of love manifests as conditions that make it impossible for us to experience unconditional love.” (The Presence Process p213)

Clearly, I realised, I had been ‘looking for love’ (approval, lauding, applause, validation) from the participants of my training. (Again.) I determined to ‘look for love’ within myself for the afternoon training session (same firm, different group). I noticed that I slowed down, I was more present, I didn’t burn my candle so brightly – and I felt more centred and whole afterwards. Needless to say, I got excellent feedback.

People will reflect back to you whatever degree of self-love you are currently manifesting. That is basically all life is: your brothers and sisters holding up a mirror to you, until you learn to love yourself better. 

And stop seeking love externally…

Mais oui all love ourselves better.

Merely by heeding the Heart’s prayer, you can tend (notice that word ‘tend’ – like cultivate, grow) your capacity for unconditional self-love. Your Heart has and is the source of unconditional self-love for you. And all beings. Tend to it’s prayers. 

Ok. I’m going to do my mediation now, and focus on the Heart. Ty.

***Med***

So apparently my Heart is awash with home truths for me.

Self-betrayal feels like one.

Easy, gently, softly… What else. 

I saw myself as a tiny boat hooking on to other bigger boats… and the invitation to become a big boat, navigating my own course, and dropping anchor when and where I want.

That sounds like self-owner-ship

Haha. Love it. The Self-Owner-Ship on the high seas of freewill. Tell me more?

Your version of ‘self-betrayal’ is the next person’s rendition of R&D, or sensible business growth. You’ve managed to create a portfolio of clients who give you paid work, on a freelance basis. They do your marketing/busdev/admin for a small fee, and you get to spread your risk across various sources of income. 

We know – what you’re exploring is moving from B2B work to B2C work with SoD. That’s excellent! And you are moving in exactly the right direction. You’re moving cautiously, and leaving behind your old strategy of throwing the whole bucket of stuff at the wall to see what sticks. 

What is your Heart’s prayer? 

I’ll ask. Heart says: Worried about investing too much time and energy in other people’s projects, because it wants to reserve time and energy for the SoD. This is bcs I’m spending today with a colleague brainstorming the future of our collaboration.

And your Heart’s not in it? 

My Heart’s not in it….

But has it given you all you need for the SoD? 

Yes. Or some of…

So what’s your Heart’s desire? 

To build my SoD. THAT is my “Heck, Yes!” I’ve got a new case coming in, and I’m going to offer – not to ‘mediate’ in the traditional sense – but to teach the parties (one refuser/demander in particular) the skills to resolve the dispute themselves.  This I feel good about. My H2D course… I feel good about. That is my own Ship.

So say Mais Oui to your Heart’s desire, and ALLOW everything else to feeeeeed in. All you are doing with these blessed, beautiful colleague (CM) is excellent learning for the SoD. Be soft and sensible. Keep heeding and focussing on and trusting in your Heart’s prayer for your Own Ship. See it. Feel it. Sense it. Own it. Receive ALL incomings (not as distractions or non-additions to the dreams) but rather as gifts directly from your Vortex to help build the Ship of your Own. Play that game!

Say: Mais oui! May we all work together to build the SoD!

Ok! Got it. Ty. xxx

I am declaring  Mais oui! May we…