As my sweetheart and I continue to play online Scrabble each day, an insight has dawned upon me. When we began, a couple of months ago, we both were clearly focussed on the letter tiles we were dealt. Our aim was to arrange them deftly and create the longest words possible, and chuck them up on the board. However, over time, we have both subtly changed our focus to the board. The board is where the good stuff is at, with its special squares for extra points, and with all the letters placed by the other player that one can take advantage of. Now, we nudge letters in tightly to other letters, one or two at a time, scooping up the Double Letter squares, the Triple Word squares, and getting as much value per letter tile as we can.
Old style – long words:
New style – more compact use of the board and each other’s letters:
Why is this significant? I’m going to be quite open and tender (and self-compassionate) about my ‘innocence’, and the ‘naivety’ that has accompanied me through life, and is a beautiful part of my autism. So….
Perhaps because of my Asperger’s perspective, for much of my life, I misunderstood how to ‘gain points’ in the world. In terms of career, and getting by in the world, I thought it was all about arranging and presenting my Letters (qualifications, experience, skills talents) carefully and ‘impressively’ to the world. I thought that doing so would eventually gain me the Points (aka: promotions, opportunities, income, networks, tributes, security!). I thought that by presenting myself as a ‘7 Letter Word’ to the world, surely ‘people’ would recognise my value and invite my participation in their gig. (Given our education system’s emphasis on exams, qualifications and CVs, anyone could be forgiven for this assumption.)
But in reality, one can take very few letters, and play the board very successfully! A letter ‘s’ strategically placed to pluralise another person’s word, and hit a Triple Word square, is all you need to gain more Points than you would by placing multiple tiles down… A focus on the Board (the playing field, the professional arena, the industry, your networks) encourages you to take the opportunities available as they arise out of the movements and advances of others around you.
Now hold fire. I am the first one to say, doesn’t this sound like competition, taking advantage of others’ moves, gross exploitation….? But in reality… for an Aspie, this is really important learning. There are so many autistic people with brilliant talents and skills, and who are under- or unemployed. We can’t understand why, after we’ve crushed ourselves to get degrees and qualifications, we find ourselves at the end of the queue, or watch ourselves rapidly overtaken by people who haven’t got the qualifications we were told we needed in order to advance. We autistic people can be very literal. If we’re told we need a degree to enter into the world, we go off and get one…. The truth is actually different. It’s about watching the world, and leaping on to the stepping stones that present themselves. It’s like jumping on a fast-moving escalator. No one is going to stop it for you to get on.
For me, there is nuance available to consider. While Scrabble is a game of competition, the practice of building the board-play up with a fellow player is actually very co-operative and collaborative. For me, my autism may make me introspective and even self-focussed, but it doesn’t give me the competitive edge to shove myself forward. I love collaboration, cooperation and team success. I yearn to play a part in the achievement of good. Reflecting on the Scrabble metaphor, I am wondering if dropping my ‘belief’ in Letters and learning to trust in a focus on ‘responding to the Board’ as it evolves around me, and co-designing the playing field with my fellow players… will open the doors to the deep collaboration I yearn for.
Opportunities arise around you as invitations all the time. You are truly welcome to accept them. The belief that you need to be perfectly arranged and presented before you accept the invitations is one you can gently decommission, with a grateful farewell. The addiction to the belief in ‘hard work’ is one you can softly relinquish. The Board is offering you Triple Word score opportunities all the time. Relax your gaze. Cease to focus on yourself – you are absolutely fine as you are; no need to tinker the tile arrangement any further. Lift your eyes up. See the teeming opportunities on the Board of life, waving at you for your attention.
Smile. Approach. Receive.
Today I am spotting the opportunities arising around me.
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Meditation:
Just a brief one today – I wanted to find a short meditation to share later in the day for my mindfulness seminar I was giving.
Exercise:
Hm… None.
Question to self: How am I going to ensure I do my exercise on days when I have work bookings?
Diet:
- Coffee with cream.
- Brunch: Salmon, greens, tea
- Evening: Spontaneous evening out -> Pie, chips and a glass of red wine (?!)
Sleep:
- Screens off: 10.40pm
- Lights out: 11pm
- Wake up the next day: 7pm
- Total sleep: 8hr YES!!!
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