You are empowered to speak through the Eager Say So voice when you can differentiate between the mind ‘having the experience’ (ooh, aah, eek!) and the eternally peaceful, neutral, untouched, unwavering observer consciousness within you that can watch the rollercoaster mind.
Imagine you are a parent, observing your young child who is on the mini-roller-coaster at the park. Your child is squealing with delight, terror, elation, horror, relief… at every twist and turn. You, on the ground, are able to observe this – and remain at peace. You have access to the knowledge that the child is having a manufactured experience. You can be moved and amused and empathetic… but you are not rushing to rip the child out of her seat. There is no need. You know that this ’emotional’ experience is wholesome learning for the child.
So, you are saying, I can start to identify with the parent/observer consciousness more? And realise that my rollercoaster mind experience (“Ooh, aah, eek!”) is… ‘manufactured’?
Manufactured is a word that offends you because it sounds like we mean ‘conjured’ or ‘fake’. But we do mean manufactured. It’s manufactured on a closed loop with your original broadcast. If you broadcast ‘rollercoaster’, you experience more of it.
The more you can stand back as the observer, the less fuel you add to the rollercoaster mind.
This is what Pema Chodron calls ‘unhooking’.
Man. Yes. In my rollercoaster mind’s dream I am currently in a hooked entanglement with a few individuals. Can I unhook from that dream?
Instantly. The key is to take your attention off those people, and onto your rollercoaster mind. You can then see the causal point is not those ‘others’, but your identification with the experience you are having with those others. This is GREAT NEWS! Why? Because you have no control whatsoever over ‘others’, but 100% control over your own power to unhook.
By unhook, we largely mean, step off the rollercoaster. Or at the very least, be the parent watching the child on the rollercoaster.
So I’d say: “Ah yes, I can see Rollercoaster Mind Me having an experience of wrestling with her guilt, her worry, her fear of it all going wrong. Interesting! I can see her desperately not wanting to say the thing that might hurt (eg to X or Y) but instead leaving them in the dark… far worse! I can see her not wanting to ask A or B, ‘Is this what you mean?’ and second guessing / psychic-ising instead… Interesting phenomena….”
Now, done with real self-parenting, the observing act will bring you self-compassion. You will wish to prevent and alleviate the suffering of the roller coaster you.
So how? I thought the observer just observed, without judgement?
The Observer has the power to suggest EASE.
Ah now here’s the interesting thing. Why are rollercoasters popular? Because as humans we LOVE variety, and contrast. It’s a catch 22. Get it all EASEd up, and we start feeling… BORED! Amiright? Where’s the sweet spot between peril/jeopardy/challenge/excitement and inner balance, ease, relief?
The sweet spot is called vibrational alignment.
I am so, so keen to understand more about this.
MB is your most excellent teacher on this.
**Reads…**
p116. Original Sin. In sum, MB points out that the result of our childhood, and it’s fixation with mind, is that we emerge saying “I am a sinner”. Every time we perceive ourselves as such, we lose awareness of our vibrational essence.
So basically, what I’m inferring is that we can bring awareness to this. Do I basically have ‘I’m a sinner’ thoughts throughout the day? Yes! It’s actually endemic – in me, in us all. And it’s not just about saying, “I’m good enough” as a counter…
Um… That’s a good start.
Ah, ok… I was going to say that it’s about bringing awareness to how much of a factor of life this ‘sinner thinking’ is.
You can use that awareness as a trigger for its opposite.
So if I catch myself having some kind of ‘I’m a sinner’ thought, I counter it with ‘I’m not a sinner!’ or ‘I am good enough’??
Observing the mind’s thoughts non-judgementally is the great undoer. So, try just noting, ‘Ah, a sinner thought.’ Note how you condemn self, and other. Note the mind’s compulsion to condemn, self and other. Just note it. And then give yourself a little lick of self-compassion.
A lick..!
A little lick. 🙂 It’s gotta be cute.
Haha. Ok!
Remember, sinner thoughts hurt. They come with a vibrational sting (or even a taser zap at times). [Hence plumptons. Maybe I should buy that book on chronic shame which looks at the neurobiology of shame…] So give yourself self-compassion for the sting/zap received in the moment of having the thought, but also for the underlying emotional imprinting which apparently is still perpetuating punishment and retribution upon you, all these years later.
Sweet child – the rollercoaster was meant to be fun, not traumatising. So yes, a little lick of self-compassion, because your life was always meant to be soft, sweet, succulent and juicy. 🙂
Beautiful/ Revolutionary. Thank you. <3
I am noting ‘sinner thoughts’, with a little lick of self-compassion