I love Karla McLaren so much – this is so good:
Notes on Karla McLaren’s Anger & Good Boundaries video:
Anger helps you set boundaries – whether you set them terribly or gracefully
The angers = Anger, shame guilt, apathy, bordem, hatred – all are about boundaries in some way
Gifts of anger = honour, conviction, healthy self esteem, proper boundaries, protection of self and others, restoring
Anger asks these Questions:
- What must be protected?
- What must be restored? (Think about Restorative Justice)
Ways with anger:
- Repression of anger – Avoiding, accommodating. ‘letting people walk over you’, being ‘a pushover’.
- Expression of anger – Attacking, destroying their boundaries, harsh
- Channelling anger to set good boundaries – “I understand your situation…; however my situation is…; do you not see my situation…?” [Not attacking] …. [Remember: Yes/No/Yes sandwich]
If they respond badly to boundaries: a sign about whether they care about you.
When your anger and shame work well together, the whole world will change for you.
ANGER is the HONOURABLE SENTRY and thereby offers us Healthy Relationships. <3
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So, my current learning includes =
- Embrace the Day #ETD
- Get the satisfaction of A Good Day’s Work #GDW
- Move your body #MYB
- Set good boundaries (when anger/resentment/judgment arise) #SGB
I threw myself at the day yesterday. It was hard. I was really really low on dopamine, seratonin etc… But the ‘exam conditions’ of working 10am-1pm and 3-6pm helped, as did a walk in the woods with Caroline Myss on divine assistance (Chap 8 of Advanced Energy Anatomy – oh my word… so beautiful. Ty.)
I also set some good boundaries with a v dear colleague who works 24/7, and to whom I explained ‘I don’t work weekends’ as I’d been feeling perturbed about them trying to arrange a spontaneous work meeting during the bank hol weekend. I feel it will be a helpful clarification for the future in this relationship that I truly cherish. (Wish I’d been clearer with others..)
I miss the other world very, very much. This is the bottom line. And maybe part of my new phase of life includes:
- resetting life to include more of that world, either in my work or my prayer life… (I was inspired by a video by Martha Beck yesterday – the Pool/Pyramid sugar cube model, and have just spotted her new book, The Way of Integrity)
- resetting life to take account of being more not less of a HSP as life goes on. (I’m going to read Anita Moorjani’s ‘Sensitive is the new strong‘ book next) – I’ve put thumbnails below
Setting good boundaries gives respect to all the parts of you, including the part that misses the other world so very much, dear soul.
I am glad we can talk about this. It’s not like I’m back to anticipating an exit – though this run of suicide prevention training work I am doing is not good for my feelings on this… However, it is good for me to acknowledge that I miss the other world. I know we’ll all go back there. I know my beloved Mum is there… and that my darling Dad will be there in due course…
(I’ve been watching Long Island Medium for consolation again… Anything to touch that world of home, of perfection, of peace, of love.)
You will feel really good if you do the work you meant to do, which is teach others about that world.
Me?! But I have no ‘proof’ of it!
Rewind.
Me?
You.
How?
By your testimony. Of life. On the cusp. Between here and there. Which is the life of the aspie-indigo-starseed… whatever you would call it. But you are NOT alone. Martha Beck is finding a way of talking about it… Pick up from her. This is not about following the ‘holistic’ ones, but the spiritual speakers… Those who speak of spirit. Remember you tried before?
With NDE. Yes! How embarrassed were my family!
Have you thought of discussing it with your father?
No, I haven’t…. Maybe in time…
The world has heard of ’emotional intelligence’. Now it’s time to speak of ‘spiritual intelligence’. And it’s your turn to step up to the plate.
I would love that so much.
“Well that’s settled then” – as they say on The Archers.
Good……..!
Show me the way.
By all means. You get on with Simplifying Your Life.
Oooh… touche! Ok. I will.
This is why you need Good Boundaries – because without them, life is too complicated to do the work you came to do.
I love to hear this. Thank you. <3 May all the angels of God gather round me to assist me with this work, from simplification of my life, to doing the work I came to do. Amen.
I am Simplifying My Life with Good Boundaries
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Watch this… <3
