Tag: #Simplification

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Create 81: I am Simplifying My Life with Good Boundaries 

 I love Karla McLaren so much – this is so good: 

Notes on Karla McLaren’s Anger & Good Boundaries video:

Anger helps you set boundaries – whether you set them terribly or gracefully

The angers = Anger, shame guilt, apathy, bordem, hatred – all are about boundaries in some way

Gifts of anger = honour, conviction, healthy self esteem, proper boundaries, protection of self and others, restoring

Anger asks these Questions:

  • What must be protected?
  • What must be restored? (Think about Restorative Justice)

Ways with anger:

  • Repression of anger –  Avoiding, accommodating. ‘letting people walk over you’, being ‘a pushover’.
  • Expression of anger – Attacking, destroying their boundaries, harsh
  • Channelling anger to set good boundaries – “I understand your situation…; however my situation is…; do you not see my situation…?” [Not attacking] …. [Remember: Yes/No/Yes sandwich]

If they respond badly to boundaries: a sign about whether they care about you.

When your anger and shame work well together, the whole world will change for you.

ANGER is the HONOURABLE SENTRY and thereby offers us Healthy Relationships. <3

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So, my current learning includes =

  • Embrace the Day #ETD
  • Get the satisfaction of A Good Day’s Work #GDW
  • Move your body #MYB
  • Set good boundaries (when anger/resentment/judgment arise) #SGB

I threw myself at the day yesterday. It was hard. I was really really low on dopamine, seratonin etc… But the ‘exam conditions’ of working 10am-1pm and 3-6pm helped, as did a walk in the woods with Caroline Myss on divine assistance (Chap 8 of Advanced Energy Anatomy – oh my word… so beautiful. Ty.)

I also set some good boundaries with a v dear colleague who works 24/7, and to whom I explained ‘I don’t work weekends’ as I’d been feeling perturbed about them trying to arrange a spontaneous work meeting during the bank hol weekend. I feel it will be a helpful clarification for the future in this relationship that I truly cherish. (Wish I’d been clearer with others..)

I miss the other world very, very much. This is the bottom line. And maybe part of my new phase of life includes:

  • resetting life to include more of that world, either in my work or my prayer life… (I was inspired by a video by Martha Beck yesterday – the Pool/Pyramid sugar cube model, and have just spotted her new book, The Way of Integrity)
  • resetting life to take account of being more not less of a HSP as life goes on. (I’m going to read Anita Moorjani’s ‘Sensitive is the new strong‘ book next)  – I’ve put thumbnails below

Setting good boundaries gives respect to all the parts of you, including the part that misses the other world so very much, dear soul. 

I am glad we can talk about this. It’s not like I’m back to anticipating an exit – though this run of suicide prevention training work I am doing is not good for my feelings on this… However, it is good for me to acknowledge that I miss the other world. I know we’ll all go back there. I know my beloved Mum is there… and that my darling Dad will be there in due course…

(I’ve been watching Long Island Medium for consolation again… Anything to touch that world of home, of perfection, of peace, of love.)

You will feel really good if you do the work you meant to do, which is teach others about that world. 

Me?! But I have no ‘proof’ of it!

Rewind.

Me?

You. 

How?

By your testimony. Of life. On the cusp. Between here and there. Which is the life of the aspie-indigo-starseed… whatever you would call it. But you are NOT alone. Martha Beck is finding a way of talking about it… Pick up from her. This is not about following the ‘holistic’ ones, but the spiritual speakers… Those who speak of spirit. Remember you tried before? 

With NDE. Yes! How embarrassed were my family!

Have you thought of discussing it with your father?

No, I haven’t…. Maybe in time…

The world has heard of ’emotional intelligence’. Now it’s time to speak of ‘spiritual intelligence’. And it’s your turn to step up to the plate. 

I would love that so much.

“Well that’s settled then” – as they say on The Archers. 

Good……..!

Show me the way.

By all means. You get on with Simplifying Your Life. 

Oooh… touche! Ok. I will.

This is why you need Good Boundaries – because without them, life is too complicated to do the work you came to do. 

I love to hear this. Thank you. <3 May all the angels of God gather round me to assist me with this work, from simplification of my life, to doing the work I came to do. Amen.

I am Simplifying My Life with Good Boundaries 

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Watch this… <3

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Presence 55: I am self-validating

I took “Mais oui! May we…” to my Away Day with my colleague. And I set this intention: “Mais oui! May we… be united in our approach – as colleagues and as friends.” It changed the way I approached the day, very much for the better. I was less self-focussed, and yet gave myself USL by prioritising the feeling of ‘unity’. We didn’t ‘achieve’ much during the day – but got on wonderfully across our day in this beautiful hotel, we bonded deeply, and even managed to come up with the name for our collaboration. Interesting learning for me, who can be so outcome/action focussed – maybe to the detriment of some professional relationships.

Silently declaring “MAY WE BE UNITED in our approach.” is a route to peace.

And it rests on a foundation of Self-Validation. 

Exactly… I’m not coming to the other person saying ‘Validate me, approve of me.’ I’m saying: “I approve of me. I approve of you. Let’s be united…”

It simplifies life when collaboration is the first principle. 

Yes! Yesterday, G showed me a JP video in which he (JP)  talks about ‘the complexity problem’ as being the underlying many instances of poor mental health. I really, really related. He says that when our lives become too complex it affects us. This can be a series of say five catastrophic events. Indeed. Or simply ongoing chronic complexity…

How do I stop the complexity problem in my life? Simplicity has been a theme for years! It’s saying  mais non to others’ vision, and mais oui to my own vision. Right? This is why I’m moving to the SoD….

It is simplifying to follow our own inner being, rather than the inner beings of everyone else around us. 

Since childhood I was entrained to jump to the inner being of the other. Show me, again and again, how to hear and prioritise my own inner being. How do I let that sweet small voice of my Heart’s desire grow so loud I can use it to determine and enforce my No’s?

Grow your sense of self. Grow your sense of vision. Vision. Vision. Envision. Live in your reality. Look about you a little less. Look inwards a little more. Listen listen listen…to the voice within. Articulate that voice. Write up what you hear. Paint it. Draw it. Describe it. Enact it. Declare it. Tell your story.

I feel I want to let AT and the SoD be separate entities… They can be intertwined. But if AT.com is my ONLY business facade, that is a lot of pressure to be a normie there. I don’t think I’ve ever used that word before… Weird.

Hm… What next? This from TPP:

“Our unconscious definition of love is the resonance of the emotional signature we experienced as children whenever we needed to be loved. Consequently, we unconsciously recreate the resonance of this emotional signature whenever we feel the need to be loved unconditionally and whenever we attempt to show unconditional love to a specific other.”

So I can reflect on how I would confuse VALIDATION with LOVE. Naturally, because (as with most children) I got love/acceptance when I was a good girl, or did something good / worthy of approval. So I’ve created a v complex life with multiple opportunities a day/week to Do Good… and get the validation of applause or approval or good feedback.

So you’ve had enough of that now? 

Almost.. I notice that one of G’s traits is not to shower approval or ‘congrats’ or ‘well done’. It’s been good for me. To stand on my own two feet, and not act to trigger his ‘well done’… Tell me more about this?

You used to splutter and refute the idea of saying to oneself “I am good enough.” No? But in truth, if you can bring this statement as KNOWLEDGE to your days, you are going to enter each day as a self-sufficient person – this means you are able to give, aplenty. This is service. The person who will not grant themselves validation, USL, self-approbation.. must receive from others as they give. This makes a neutral, or zero sum energy exchange in some instances. However, bring your complete self-validation to the table, and you are ready to go… in service to the greater good. You ‘need’ not from the next person. 

This is serious business. Declare: 

  • I am good enough
  • I am more than enough
  • I am more than good enough 
  • I am more than qualified to serve in this realm
  • I am here on the qualification of my soul…

To self-validate is to simplify everything. It is to grant ourselves self-sufficiency and auto-immunity. 

Thank you. I will work with this today. I had a feeling we were moving from “I am… ” statements to “May we…” statements.

Not yet, dear soul. Not yet. 

Take full ownership for yourself, and your global, mutual, intertwined prayers will be the order of the Day. 

May I self-validate. May I become entirely self-sufficient in terms of self-approbation and self-love. May I listen to the still, small voice of my Heart’s desire, and let that be my guide, today and every day. May I turn within, and see all truth and knowing there within me. May I take ownership for my thoughts and feelings and actions. May I know myself to be all that I need to be to be of service in this world. May I grant myself that self-sufficiency and auto-immunity today and every day. And may we all do likewise according to our plan and vision and mission. Amen.

I am self-validating