Peak 86: I am Homeward-bound

Yesterday was beautiful – full of walks and nature and peace and quiet. We’re on holiday. It’s gorgeous. I didn’t ask many questions, but I did ponder the notion of asking questions here. I’d like to start by asking about the work I/we do here. Would that work?

Yes. It’s a separate post though.

Ok. Good. Let’s read our Tao Te Ching chapter.

-22- Yield and overcome; bend and be straight. Empty out and be full; wear out and be renewed. Have little and gain; have much and be confused. Therefore, the True Person embraces the One and becomes a model for all. Do not look only at yourself, and you will see much. Do not justify yourself, and you will be distinguished. Do not brag, and you will have merit. Do not be prideful, and your work will endure. It is because you do not strive that no one under heaven can strive with you. The saying of the Old Ones, “Yield and Overcome,” is not an empty phrase. True wholeness is achieved by blending with life. (Ref)

So the theme is ‘Yield and overcome’ – along the lines of ‘surrender’ – and the example for me is this: ‘Do not look only at yourself, and you will see much.’ This indeed. Across my life I’ve needed to work closely with this. Autism and acquired trauma had me somewhat bouncing off the walls of my own internal consciousness. It took healing and courage to start to dare to look outwards, in confidence that my unguarded self was safe. Yesterday’s walk was a hearty example of this. Oh, this art of embracing the No-Thing and the Every-Thing without reference to self! Plenty there to be worked with. Now to gently, self-compassionately turn down the ‘volume’ on self-justifying, being prideful and striving… So what is meant by ‘yield and overcome’?

*** 10 min meditation with Insight Timer & self-reiki synced with breathing***

What if we were to tell you, softly, that you are homeward-bound? Would that scare you? Maybe it would, because you are so used to swimming out to sea, away from shore, it’s as if returning towards the shore would count as death. Let us explain to you the meaning of being homeward-bound, and you will learn the meaning of ‘yield and overcome’ for you at this stage of your life. You are 44. A grand number. A holy number too. What if we told you that your years of climbing the steep mountain-side had borne fruit, and that this age finds you at the top of the mountain, with a slow, steady, easeful descent towards the ocean ahead of you? No, this is not to say you are dying, anymore than any living person is always en route to their release from this physical life. We are simply saying this: the uphill climb is done; yield to ease. The long swim out to sea is done; let the incoming tide carry you home to shore. The seemingly-endless steps to the top of the playground slide are done; enjoy the view and the fun descent. You can stop climbing, striving, efforting. The homeward journey is blissful, because gravity carries you along. Your work has borne fruit. Enjoy the fruits of your travails, your journeying. Yield, yield, yield to this moment. 

It’s a beautiful vision. May I understand this more deeply and more truly every day. This I can glimpse: I’ve survived past the average life-expectancy for humans across most centuries of human history; I’ve borne my blessed children – everything else is just a gift given…

…and received?

And received. I receive this gift of life, of enjoying the fruits of my work, my learning, my studying, my striving, my child-rearing. I am learning how to dance with the life I have created for myself now. It surely is an art.

And what about ‘overcome’. As I yield to this moment, and the next, what am I overcoming?

In yielding to this moment and the next, you are overcoming a passionate belief in lack, in ‘not enough’. Oh, do not recoil! The mind’s illusion of ‘not enough’ is a fire cracker up the behind of the best of humans, to make them spiral outwards and create, and open up, and seek, and discover… It’s just that it’s hard to know when to stop that spiralling outwards, and to shift from mind-vision to heart-vision, and begin the spiral inwards

The heart’s vision is to spiral inwards? 

Exactly. The heart knows of ease, of miracles, of the homeward-bound journey – and most of all, it knows, yes knows, of the Ocean at the mouth of the river, and so it loves the tumbling downhill from the mountain-top through the streams and rivulets, to the rivers, to the estuary, to the glorious Ocean below. The heart loves the return journey. It is for this reason, the soul grants itself life after life after life. Align yourself with Heart, and love the return journey. 

May I understand myself as the water particle which evaporated off the sea under the heat of the midday sun, and rose giddy and teeteringly into the sky, to gather timidly with the giant, moody clouds, until the pressure got too much, and I fell as rain tumblingly and hit, yes, hit, the mountain top… May I know myself as the water particle now safely on land and dancing downstream easefully and joyfully, Oceanwards – Homeward-bound.

I am Homeward-bound

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