- In practice I’m AT.com
- On social media I’m SoD. For now.
Can we just start there?
Ok.
Fear. Anger. Grief. So important to spot and feel in the body! But also, what you focus on grows… Right? So what’s the OPPOSITE of FearAngerGrief?
I’m thinking for me it’s RELIEF, EASE, JOY… Is that right?
- Fear = Physical => Relief, safety, security, relaxation
- Anger = Mental => Ease, peace, competency, balance, boundaried
- Grief = Emotional => Joyful / Hopeful / Enthused / Optimistic / Keen
My book arrived, The Joy of Being Selfish – why you need boundaries and how to set them, by Michelle Elman. It’s really good stuff. So valuable for us all. For my clients too.
Life without boundaries is full of FearAngerGrief…
Life with boundaries… allows us to have healthier relationships, and to thrive.
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My littlest is 21 today.
Congratulations! <3
Ty. <3 The day she reaches her maturity is a palindrome: 12022021. Pretty cosmic. <3
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Alchemy of the Heart pp97-101
Today’s reading correlates with exactly what I’m studying in Qigong at the moment, relating to The Three Treasures, which looks at the question: What do I want?
eg. You think [mental/physical body] you want a new house, but actually really you want a feeling [emotional body] – and that feeling could possibly be achieved without going to the lengths of a new house.
MB’s section in AOTH is titled: Why I want it. It gives the example of a woman seeing and wanting a dress. She reasons [mental body] that the quality/designer is good; her physical body is taken by the look and feel of the fabric. But underlying all this is an emotional causal point: she wants to feel good. If she ‘rationally’ buys the dress and wears it, and doesn’t feel good in it, she’ll never wear it again, no matter how well-designed, high-quality or costly it was.
Now, I don’t tend to buy a huge amount of stuff (except books)…
But I do still effort quite a lot. In work, and relationships… Possibly to the degree of hand-splashing (in Reality Transurfing terms). Why? What feeling do I want?
Let’s go in…
There’s a word in that emotion wheel that stands out suddenly: ‘free’
Is that it? Do I want to feel ‘free’?
Yes! That’s it! Think of the positive aspects of feeling free! Ah, the expansiveness, the bliss, the privacy, the intimacy, the strong/safe boundaries, the right to roam, the self-captaining, the independence, the self-sufficiency, the privacy, the autonomy, the right to choose, the power to determine, the courtesy to self, the honouring of personal sovereignty… ‘I am feeling free’ is the ultimate opening up for you. (It’s why the challenge of your mid-adult life was such a challenge.)
So is that why I want to do SoD? Bcs I now realise that… it could be burdensome and trapping, if I’m not really careful.
Bravo! This is the power of starting with our emotional guidance system, rather than trying to navigate life through the mental body, which is hopelessly ill-equipped to make valid, sustainable decisions.
If you realise that the SoD can be a route to feeling more free, that will help you determine how you want to shape it. With each business decision you arrive at, you can say, ‘Does this give me a feeling of more – or less – free?’
What a great determining factor… I’d typically be judging on whether it would make more/less money; or take more/less courage..! Or more probably, whether it would make people like/dislike me more….
Feeling Free is a great – really, really GREAT – touchstone for you.
Did I feel trapped?
You felt… quashed.
I did……..!! Shucks, look at the definitions of Quash:
I am feeling free