Create 28: I am feeling free #FeelFree - Dialogues of Discernment

In practice I’m AT.com
On social media I’m SoD. For now.

Can we just start there?

Ok.

Fear. Anger. Grief. So important to spot and feel in the body! But also, what you focus on grows… Right? So what’s the OPPOSITE of FearAngerGrief?

I’m thinking for me it’s RELIEF, EASE, JOY… Is that right?

Fear = Physical => Relief, safety, security, relaxation
Anger = Mental => Ease, peace, competency, balance, boundaried
Grief = Emotional => Joyful / Hopeful / Enthused / Optimistic / Keen

My book arrived, The Joy of Being Selfish – why you need boundaries and how to set them, by Michelle Elman. It’s really good stuff. So valuable for us all. For my clients too.

Life without boundaries is full of FearAngerGrief…

Life with boundaries… allows us to have healthier relationships, and to thrive.

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My littlest is 21 today.

Congratulations! <3

Ty. <3 The day she reaches her maturity is a palindrome: 12022021. Pretty cosmic. <3

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Alchemy of the Heart pp97-101

Today’s reading correlates with exactly what I’m studying in Qigong at the moment, relating to The Three Treasures, which looks at the question: What do I want?

eg. You think [mental/physical body] you want a new house, but actually really you want a feeling [emotional body] – and that feeling could possibly be achieved without going to the lengths of a new house.

MB’s section in AOTH is titled: Why I want it. It gives the example of a woman seeing and wanting a dress. She reasons [mental body] that the quality/designer is good; her physical body is taken by the look and feel of the fabric. But underlying all this is an emotional causal point: she wants to feel good. If she ‘rationally’ buys the dress and wears it, and doesn’t feel good in it, she’ll never wear it again, no matter how well-designed, high-quality or costly it was.

Now, I don’t tend to buy a huge amount of stuff (except books)…

But I do still effort quite a lot. In work, and relationships… Possibly to the degree of hand-splashing (in Reality Transurfing terms). Why? What feeling do I want?

Let’s go in…

There’s a word in that emotion wheel that stands out suddenly: ‘free’

Is that it? Do I want to feel ‘free’?

Yes! That’s it! Think of the positive aspects of feeling free! Ah, the expansiveness, the bliss, the privacy, the intimacy, the strong/safe boundaries, the right to roam, the self-captaining, the independence, the self-sufficiency, the privacy, the autonomy, the right to choose, the power to determine, the courtesy to self, the honouring of personal sovereignty… ‘I am feeling free’ is the ultimate opening up for you. (It’s why the challenge of your mid-adult life was such a challenge.)

So is that why I want to do SoD? Bcs I now realise that… it could be burdensome and trapping, if I’m not really careful.

Bravo! This is the power of starting with our emotional guidance system, rather than trying to navigate life through the mental body, which is hopelessly ill-equipped to make valid, sustainable decisions.

If you realise that the SoD can be a route to feeling more free, that will help you determine how you want to shape it. With each business decision you arrive at, you can say, ‘Does this give me a feeling of more – or less – free?’

What a great determining factor… I’d typically be judging on whether it would make more/less money; or take more/less courage..! Or more probably, whether it would make people like/dislike me more….

Feeling Free is a great – really, really GREAT – touchstone for you.

Did I feel trapped?

You felt… quashed.

I did……..!! Shucks, look at the definitions of Quash:

Quash means to put down, stop, extinguish, and it’s usually used to talk about ideas, feelings, or political movements. You wouldn’t quash a grape underfoot; you would squash it. But if you were a military dictator, you would quash a revolution. Quash is an extreme word.

-to put down or suppress completely; quell; subdue:to quash a rebellion.

-to make void, annul, or set aside (a law, indictment, decision, etc.).

So..?

Indigos came with challenging ideas that disrupted the status quo. That’s why people turned on them, to ‘quash’ their challenges to the current paradigm. (Remember, humans cling to the familiar even if it’s unbearable – MB) Often the quashers were acting out of love to protect the ‘rebel’ indigos from the backlash their actions would provoke. None of the quashers had the wider picture. None of the quashers knew the old paradigm was finished. None of the quashers knew how good the new paradigm would be. LV helped clarify all this for you and brought you through the transition, powerfully. She is a ‘clear’ indigo and taught you about personal power and integrity. ASV, crystal, revealed the flavour and vibration and resonance of the new paradigm.

Yes. I remember now.

And now you are Free. Free to be you. The door to the mental cell is open. Walk on, dear soul. Revel in your freedom.

Oh this is so beautiful. Thank you. Yes, it’s true. I am free, to be and do and experience and say and imagine and play with all that makes me tick. I am free! The ‘lockdown’ is a figure of speech: physically we are somewhat constrained… Mentally there is a lot coming at us. But we eternally have the right to choose our emotional experience. I choose to revel in my freedom.

I am feeling free

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Poignant realisation. People said I’d feel trapped by having my beautiful children so young. I felt the opposite: blessed, held, purposed, connected… And when they grew up, I felt grief, loss, disconnect. With all that said, I notice with immense tenderness, the apparent coincidence of settling upon the impulse to ‘feel free’ on the day my youngest reaches her maturity. I woke at 5.30am today, feeling terribly anxious about whether I’d got her the presents she wanted, or had spent/offered enough or too little to meet her hopes and expectations. None of this kind of psychic interweave is good for her, or me. Part of her growing older is her right to be free herself. It is about letting her go… not as a grief-striking act, but so that she and I can both feel more free as expansive, human souls…. Can I celebrate her freedom? Can I hold her in that light today? Can I celebrate how – with these healthy boundaries of love but not co-dependence – we are all truly ok, safe, free? ASV, LV and I – we are all now free to be all that we need and want to be in this world. It doesn’t diminish our love and value to each other. It enhances it, it makes it come to fruition… It is where we were heading all that time.

amen <3

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