Create 82: I am dropping ‘guilt’ and feeling lighter {#CuspLife}

Last dialogue you said this:

You will feel really good if you do the work you meant to do, which is teach others about that world. By your testimony. Of life. On the cusp. Between here and there. Which is the life of the aspie-indigo-starseed… whatever you would call it. But you are NOT alone.

My testimony of life on the cusp ‘between here and there’. Please tell. Is that what is going on? Do I live a life on the cusp between here and there?

Of course you do, dear soul. And in truth, so do you all – it’s just that for some of you, the incarnation is more… porous. It therefore feels harder to ‘land’ on this plane. That feels good sometimes, when the sensitivity plays in your ‘favour’ and you feel that connection to spirit or you experience veil-breakthroughs. But… much of the time, it is fairly painful or distressing, especially when or if you don’t know what is going on, and life feels like an invading battle ground to the mind, the senses and moreover, to the sensitive heart. That is why autism (heightened connection to that world) can look or feel like shutdown in this world. 

Is that what autism is?

Yes. In a sense.

‘Heightened connection to that world’? Blimey… Please, please, please can we help A., my autistic client.

Do you note, most of your clients are autistic?

Yes. Is that due to some kind of law of attraction?

Each person serves a purpose. Yours is to help people over the cusp – whether it is to live better on this plane; or to consciously depart this plane.

Heavens.

Sweet soul. If you can get comfortable with Cusp Life, you will truly thrive. This is honestly why we are asking you to radically simplify your life. Routines, rituals, good boundaries and, as you discovered yesterday, ‘feeling prepared’, are all factors that will allow you to live and serve on the cusp between this world and that. 

Honestly, I could wish for nothing more than this! This is exactly what my heart asks for. This is truly the work. Show me, help me, teach me, train me. Show me this simplicity, daily and moment by moment. Thank you.

Over the last couple of days since our last dialogue, I took some learning notes on Simplifying My Life. I’d like to capture them here.

Simplifying My Life with Good Boundaries

  • is the opposite to ‘working harder’
  • includes recognising and honouring my ‘age and station’ (ie. as a fully grown adult – I’ve been looking at the child archetype in me)
  • involves stating “My life is simple (now back off)”
  • is about embracing ‘Extreme Simplicity’ (sorry, Ego, which loves jazzhand complexity) including via daily routines, rituals and repetitions so that… The Work can be done.
  • involves Good PSYCHIC boundaries
  • includes ‘seeing my current situations through the eyes of Source’ (Abraham phrase. ie. ‘All is grreat, no effort required, EASEy, revelling.’)

Simplifying My Life By ‘Feeling Prepared’ By…

  • Being early
  • Completing tasks
  • Observing my routines and rituals
  • Tending to the admin of life and business (“monotonous, not tedious” – Dwight Schrute)
  • Reducing complexity passim (a la Occam’s razor) – sorrynotsorry, Ego
  • Eating/doing/exerting… LESS (micro-meals/tasks/workouts)
  • Welcoming ‘rinse & repeat’ instead of innovation
  • Planning and prioritising
  • RECOGNISING: most of my stressors come from feeling behind, late or not on the ball. This is largely within my control to manage. Hooray! I can reduce stress by a) good boundaries and b) being prepared.
  • Noting that ‘Being Prepared’ provokes anxiety in me because I actually ‘believe’ I do best under the pressure of a deadline. That’s actually the perfectionist/scared child in who would delay because of fear of failure, and associating stress with ‘success’. I don’t do best under pressure. Sure, I produce good stuff, but in the long run the cost to my health and confidence outweighs the gain.
  • Realising that “FEELING PREPARED” is my PANACEA! It is the ultimate simplification of life! It is my antidote to stress and anxiety, and to the ego’s compulsion for complexity! 
  • Asking myself: “What do I need to do, have, be or say to ‘feel prepared’ for xyz?”
  • Noting that Preparation = Simplification
  • Using my need for preparation as a reason for Good Boundaries, as in, “I’d love to do xyz but I need to prepare for abc” – even if abc is just ‘next week’.
  • Using ‘Segment Intending’ – for example: “By the end of this 4hour admin time, I intend to feel well-prepared for all that lies ahead, including feeling I’ve put to bed what is passed [eg. by invoicing]. I will feel satisfied, relaxed and moreover, that LIFE IS MORE SIMPLIFIED than when I started.”

Thank you for capturing this. It is good learning, and also shows the considerations at play for a being who lives ‘on the cusp’. 

You mentioned not being alone. Yes, I see it. People talking about this cusp life include: Caroline Myss, Christiane Northrup, Martha Beck, Anita Moorjani, ohmmyword Abraham-Hicks.

It’s almost like… in some arenas… it could be normalised – the assumption that ‘this is not all there is’. 

Hahaha! Don’t say it aloud, the muggles might hear!

We hear you jesting, but you have been cowed by the ‘muggles’ as you see them. ‘They‘, and their perspective, dominate your life. Do you recognise that? You live by their paradigm’s rules much of the time; not yours. Do you agree? 

Oof. Punch me, why dontcha?

We get it, you think ‘they’ have the money and will withhold it if you speak your truth. But you’re forgetting – the audience you are meant to be dancing with is a different bunch. The other, quiet cusp-dwellers, many of whom are really struggling.

Yes. I know… I do work with them though. In my training and mediation.

How much can you help them if you perpetuate the 3D line? 

I do talk about self-love, self-care, self-compassion… That’s pretty radical! And people who don’t jive with it can forgive me because I seem jolly and I’m not judging them; and those who need to hear it for themselves do hear it, and they let me know, often privately…

I think I’m talking to the cusp pretty well…

We have this unhinged phrase ‘woo-woo’… Martha Beck self-proclaims having ‘woo-woo’ beliefs in that video yesterday, in order to buy herself the space to talk about spiritual concepts, I guess. I liked it, and yet, it doesn’t feel like me. My heart bursts with love for this unseen world, and I miss it. I can’t betray it by using that term.

Dear soul. The currency of the cusp is compassion, love and care, and it begins with self-compassion, self-love, and self-care. And when you are talking about that, you are indeed doing the work of the Cusp. 

I know my training messaging is better than it was. I am seeing people through the eyes of Source. I can do it more… What is your advice?

Our advice is… to simplify again. And again. And again. 

When you are talking about conflict, you are talking about forgiveness of self and other. This is the ultimate cusp-softener. Whether you are anchoring in life, or leaving it, forgiveness is the key lubricant.

Hm. So… This simplification, and forgiveness… Do I need to forgive anyone?

Y o u r s e l f.

Oh. For…?

All. Of. It.

How?

That is your journey of discovery. But know this, Simplifying Your Life comes from three wonderful steps: 

  1. Setting good boundaries
  2. Feeling prepared
  3. Forgiving self and other

I am conscious of my plumptons [pre-intentional speech / verbal tics] being pretty strong at the moment. To the degree I feel for G, to be in earshot of my clear internal distress.

If you can forgive yourself on a moment by moment basis, your plumptons will vanish. 

I feel a bit heavy at this piece of work… I don’t feel shiny and excited.

This is because we’re clearing the murky pool now. Enjoy it!

The opposite of self-forgiveness is… self-recrimination, I guess? This is what I need to spot, I imagine. And feelings of ‘guilt’. And the compulsion to act out of guilt rather than following my actual instincts… Hm, good observation.

So, I think I’ll spot any self-recrimination, and soften it. That’ll be my work today.

Excellent. This is a spa for your heart. 

Really?

Of course! Your heart finds ‘guilt’ anathema to its spirit of love. 

The heart lives in the cusp comfortably, whereas the mind is ‘split’. Live within your heart, and you will start to find ‘guilt’ to be an irritant, not the ‘helpful’ Sergeant-Major catalyst-for-action that it is to the egoic mind. 

Soften, dissolve, archive, shake loose that age-old weight-belt called ‘guilt’. 

the fact or state of having done something wrong or committed a crime:
Guilt is also a feeling of anxiety or unhappiness that you have done something immoral or wrong, such as causing harm to another person
We call guilt a ‘weight-belt’, because like a diver uses one to sink into the unnatural environs of the ocean, a human uses guilt to pin herself to the physical plane. It works a treat! But in time, you don’t need to pin yourself to the physical plane. You are welcome to inhabit the Cusp. So, drop a weight or two off your guilt-belt, and get Cuspy. It’s a lighter feeling. Not floaty or out of your mind. It’s just lighter. 

Beautiful. Got it. Here I go.

I am dropping ‘guilt’ and feeling lighter 

#NotGuilty

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Notes.

[?Autism – experienced by me as ‘Life on the cusp between this world and that.’ Hence ‘sensitivity’, HSP, empath… So…Embrace the cusp. Work with it. Inhabit the cusp skilfully. This is what I’m learning to do in the DoDs.]

Last night we watched My Octopus Teacher – that is such a good model for a person who enters and inhabits a cusp life  and its wonders to better live his life on Earth..

 

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Watched this and Pippa mentioned: ‘the natural environment’ and ‘this feminine being’  – ‘fall in love with nature’ –  ‘nature and mental health’ – ‘nature story-telling’…  {NB: #CuspLife = Nature} Connect to nature to connect to cusplife.

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There is no place for guilt in the wonderous Cusp Life.

To watch tomorrow. It’s about a deaf girl. Both my girls were born cusp dwellers… What beautiful worlds they introduced me too. Or returned me too.

Create 81: I am Simplifying My Life with Good Boundaries 

 I love Karla McLaren so much – this is so good: 

Notes on Karla McLaren’s Anger & Good Boundaries video:

Anger helps you set boundaries – whether you set them terribly or gracefully

The angers = Anger, shame guilt, apathy, bordem, hatred – all are about boundaries in some way

Gifts of anger = honour, conviction, healthy self esteem, proper boundaries, protection of self and others, restoring

Anger asks these Questions:

  • What must be protected?
  • What must be restored? (Think about Restorative Justice)

Ways with anger:

  • Repression of anger –  Avoiding, accommodating. ‘letting people walk over you’, being ‘a pushover’.
  • Expression of anger – Attacking, destroying their boundaries, harsh
  • Channelling anger to set good boundaries – “I understand your situation…; however my situation is…; do you not see my situation…?” [Not attacking] …. [Remember: Yes/No/Yes sandwich]

If they respond badly to boundaries: a sign about whether they care about you.

When your anger and shame work well together, the whole world will change for you.

ANGER is the HONOURABLE SENTRY and thereby offers us Healthy Relationships. <3

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So, my current learning includes =

  • Embrace the Day #ETD
  • Get the satisfaction of A Good Day’s Work #GDW
  • Move your body #MYB
  • Set good boundaries (when anger/resentment/judgment arise) #SGB

I threw myself at the day yesterday. It was hard. I was really really low on dopamine, seratonin etc… But the ‘exam conditions’ of working 10am-1pm and 3-6pm helped, as did a walk in the woods with Caroline Myss on divine assistance (Chap 8 of Advanced Energy Anatomy – oh my word… so beautiful. Ty.)

I also set some good boundaries with a v dear colleague who works 24/7, and to whom I explained ‘I don’t work weekends’ as I’d been feeling perturbed about them trying to arrange a spontaneous work meeting during the bank hol weekend. I feel it will be a helpful clarification for the future in this relationship that I truly cherish. (Wish I’d been clearer with others..)

I miss the other world very, very much. This is the bottom line. And maybe part of my new phase of life includes:

  • resetting life to include more of that world, either in my work or my prayer life… (I was inspired by a video by Martha Beck yesterday – the Pool/Pyramid sugar cube model, and have just spotted her new book, The Way of Integrity)
  • resetting life to take account of being more not less of a HSP as life goes on. (I’m going to read Anita Moorjani’s ‘Sensitive is the new strong‘ book next)  – I’ve put thumbnails below

Setting good boundaries gives respect to all the parts of you, including the part that misses the other world so very much, dear soul. 

I am glad we can talk about this. It’s not like I’m back to anticipating an exit – though this run of suicide prevention training work I am doing is not good for my feelings on this… However, it is good for me to acknowledge that I miss the other world. I know we’ll all go back there. I know my beloved Mum is there… and that my darling Dad will be there in due course…

(I’ve been watching Long Island Medium for consolation again… Anything to touch that world of home, of perfection, of peace, of love.)

You will feel really good if you do the work you meant to do, which is teach others about that world. 

Me?! But I have no ‘proof’ of it!

Rewind.

Me?

You. 

How?

By your testimony. Of life. On the cusp. Between here and there. Which is the life of the aspie-indigo-starseed… whatever you would call it. But you are NOT alone. Martha Beck is finding a way of talking about it… Pick up from her. This is not about following the ‘holistic’ ones, but the spiritual speakers… Those who speak of spirit. Remember you tried before? 

With NDE. Yes! How embarrassed were my family!

Have you thought of discussing it with your father?

No, I haven’t…. Maybe in time…

The world has heard of ’emotional intelligence’. Now it’s time to speak of ‘spiritual intelligence’. And it’s your turn to step up to the plate. 

I would love that so much.

“Well that’s settled then” – as they say on The Archers. 

Good……..!

Show me the way.

By all means. You get on with Simplifying Your Life. 

Oooh… touche! Ok. I will.

This is why you need Good Boundaries – because without them, life is too complicated to do the work you came to do. 

I love to hear this. Thank you. <3 May all the angels of God gather round me to assist me with this work, from simplification of my life, to doing the work I came to do. Amen.

I am Simplifying My Life with Good Boundaries 

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Watch this… <3