Presence 52: I am discovering unconditional self-love… through practising saying a positive No

These are a few of the things I am learning about Unconditional Love:

  • When you consistently grant yourself Unconditional Love, your need to ask it of others diminishes. And you are freed up to offer Unconditional Love more than to seek or demand it.
  • Nothing gives Unconditional Love to our inner child more than sitting with our feelings – feeling the feels, as we breathe, in Present Moment Awareness – without judgement, interruption or fixing. Merely being able to sit unconditionally watching what’s going on in our emotional landscape, is an act of self-compassion and self-love.
  • Michael Brown is EXCELLENT on why we shouldn’t judge our parents – but rather offer them the unconditional love they didn’t have:
    • ‘Our parents were children once too. When we look at a parent through the eyes of present moment awareness, we see a child who, like us, was plunged fearfully into this conditional world. This child, like the hurting aspect of the child self within us, seeks to be loved unconditionally. Are our parents responsible for energetically photocopying behavior that arises in them through their experience of childhood imprinting? How does holding onto anger benefit us more than making the compassionate choice to recognize the error in our perception? Judgment is a lack of clarity and a virus that infects our perception. Judgment on all levels is arrogance. Judgment is also a double standard. On the one hand it lifts us up to appear superior, while on the other it insists everyone behave exactly like us and admonishes those who don’t. However, the most damaging consequence of judgment is that we identify ourselves and others by the experience we are having, instead of by the shared Presence we authentically are. The bottom line is that, through judgment, we blame others for a predicament we all share. Therefore, let’s intend to begin unraveling this perceptual mayhem by forgiving our parents and blessing them with the unconditional love we wish we had received from them as children. (TPP 206/7)
  • Michael Brown is revelatory and revolutionary on unconditionally loving ourselves – and shows how it is the path to reaching peace:
    • Loving unconditionally is the greatest service we render to humanity. Loving ourselves unconditionally is how we place a breath of fresh air in the depths of the ocean. Our journey into uncovering the nature of this great mystery called love starts with being unconditional toward ourselves by feeling what we are authentically feeling without judging the experience in any way, and without trying to fix, change, understand, heal, or transform it. Being willing to integrate our own discomfort – to perceive it as valid and hence required, and behaving toward it accordingly – is the root of experiencing forgiveness and realizing peace. By genuinely forgiving ourselves for the behavior that emanates from our imprinted predicament, we automatically forgive the world. Beyond the experience of forgiveness is our return to an awareness of what peace really is. Realizing peace through forgiveness is in our hands. It has nothing to do with “the other.”’ TPP p208

Today in my meditation, I sat with the feelings in my heart, and just watched and loved them. My heart had a lot to say! Imagine if I’d started my day without listening to that! How unkind. How oblivious to the central, sweet barometer of my being. I didn’t try to fix or problem-solve or change those feelings. But as I let them be heard, and therefore integrated, they did soften. I felt the act of self-compassion in just ‘authentically feeling without judging the experience in any way’. And a few of Matt Kahn’s “I love yous” didn’t go amiss. 

You sensed the word ‘predicament’ today? This is the key for the next step. The human predicament (arrive – get emotionally imprinted – spend a life time integrating the emotions and/or creating drama to avoid the same – depart) is also the human opportunity.

Opportunities are for the seizing. SEIZE the opportunity to complete the cycle, like this: 

  1. arrive
  2. get emotionally imprinted
  3. spend a life time integrating the emotions and/or creating drama to avoid the same
  4. discover unconditional self-love
  5. offer unconditional love to others – and thereby help recalibrate the balance
  6. depart

We invite you to practise Step 4: ‘discover unconditional self-love’

We invite you to make Step 4 a special interest. 

Ok. Sounds like a good practice. How?

DUSLing (discovering unconditional self-love) is a movement that starts …[Time for the day. Pick up tomorrow]

Ok. Thank you. May I download much about DUSLing today. Amen.

[Next Day]

DUSLing (discovering unconditional self-love) is a movement that starts with internal peace. All the unravelling of your ‘Overstimulated Nervous System’ – via qigong, walks, QT, routines, the love and fun with G., focussing on your job satisfaction – is work towards settling into internal peace. From the place of Internal Peace, you do the work of DUSLing 

Is DUSLing proactive (eg. I do things for myself?) or a state (eg. I am able to sit in PMA without judgement, integrating what arises?).

It’s a proactive state. Think of us. We love you unconditionally. We are always here and available to you, as wise counsel. But we are not jumping at you, or offering you more than you need. We are responsive – and ever available on ‘stand-by’. We trust you to know how best to serve yourself most of the time. That is why we’re not tripping over ourselves to intervene. 

Sometimes, I wish you would.

You can always ask more. 

And then?

And then you get the response you request. 

Please can you make me incredibly proficient at emails and business admin?

Of course! Thank you for asking. 

There. That was an act of USL towards myself.

Asking for the help you need? Absolutely. 

Ok. As an act of DUSLing, I would like Your help to rise up the Upward Spiral of the Emotional Guidance Scale. With wisdom, with trust, with openness to learning new thought patterns.

And if we told you that this is already on the menu for you, would you baulk? 

No. I don’t think so…

As you go about your DUSLing, you’ll know how successful you are being by the degree to which you rise up that EGS. In fact, there is no other outcome to speak of…. except all that which flows to you as you align with your highest vibration. 

So… DUSLing brings us up the EGS and thus raises our vibration, which opens us to all the good available to us..?

Sweet soul of our hearts, as you genuinely put yourself at the epicentre of your immense and unfathomable LOVE, you will spiral up the vibrational scale like a bird soaring on the warm breezes of summer. 

I’m gonna need to learn to say No…. right?

Yes! Your book on The Power of A Positive No arrived yesterday. Bust it open!

Also, today I read in TPP about saying No..without judgement:

“At this point in our journey through The Presence Process, it’s beneficial to honestly ask ourselves: “How do we treat those in the world who ask us for unconditional love in the only way they know how?” ….. Discernment requires us to say “no” to those who would, through the impact of their imprinting, hurt us. Discernment requires us to draw a line in the sand and make ourselves clearly heard if others disrespect our choices. However, even when saying “no” to another because of their destructive impulses, we still don’t have to render judgment on them. We are able to take care of ourselves without confusing their behavior with their identity. Saying “no” as a reaction is the pushing away of another. Saying “no” as a response is a movement toward ourselves.” The Presence Process by Michael Brown p209 (Week 8)

I am discovering unconditional self-love… through practising saying a positive No

 

Presence 48: I am evoking the Power of No

DECIDE & DELIVER

vs

Delay’n’Dither

This arose as my ‘new motto’ over the last couple of days. 

Man alive, I’ve had to exercise my power to choose! …To discern, to decide, to execute. It has been real kung fu for my mind.

I was reminded how draining indecision (dithering) is. I woke up at 4am yesterday, awash with stress…. and realised most of it was simply due to a few unanswered emails I’d been ducking. So I got up and worked 5.30-8.30am clearing 50 emails and 30 whatsapps. Felt SO much better for it.

I have been like steel with my tough cases too. {Metal element = lungs = courage.} This has been of benefit to me and to my clients. The person I mentioned yesterday who was so distressed… largely by her chronic indecision over one matter…. made a decision through courage coaching (new concept?) and felt much better for it.

A mediator colleague (NR) reflected on how people can only take so much ‘uncertainty’.

I just spotted this today: Why ‘Head Empty’ Memes Are Dominating 2020 In a year of chaos, a series of internet tropes has sought to offer escape from the turmoil.

With meme example:

Head Empty

Meanwhile, in TPP I read:

‘Developing the capacity to feel without telling stories simultaneously empowers us to consciously enter and contain vibrational awareness. Understanding doesn’t endow us with vibrational awareness because vibrational awareness can’t be understood, only experienced directly.

It’s to be expected that as we move through this next stage of our journey into present moment awareness, we will continue to try to think our way through what’s happening to us. It’s natural for us to “try to understand.” However, our habitual impulse to try to mentally grasp and categorize what’s happening causes us to experience varying degrees of confusion.

As we proceed from week seven toward week ten, it’s useful to hold the following “knowing” in the forefront of our awareness: Right now, as we move deeper into an awareness of the authentic condition of our emotional body, experiencing a sense of mental confusion is beneficial. It’s a sign of progress and an indication that the mental body has taken us as far as it can go. The mental body has, figuratively speaking, hit the wall!

Confusion serves us. It prevents us from attempting to barge our way into the emotional realm mentally. By giving ourselves permission not to have to understand an experience for it to be valid, we ensure a gentler and less frustrating ride through this part of our journey.

By being at ease with inner mental confusion, accepting it as a temporary necessity – and as a sign of progress – we avoid indulging in unnecessary drama. There’s nothing wrong when we feel confused. We are to feel confused without placing any conditions on the experience.’ ( The Presence Process by Michael Brown p194)

Themes emerging for me:

  1. Don’t think about the source of your uncertainty. 
  2. Decide, or make peace with your confusion. 

The third aspect of your ‘path to peace’ lies in the Power of No. 

Ha!

The Power of No means articulating your rejection of an incoming offer or message. This rejection comes out of your instinctual knowing. Once ‘thought about’, that rejection becomes diluted and confused. You have dithered over your perfect intuition. Catch your No as soon as you can, and articulate it immediately.

Hence the path to peace, kung fu style, states: 

  1. Dither not – you already know intuitively
  2. Decide – trust your intuition
  3. Declare – yes or no

You’ve done some excellent work this week on deciding, choosing… Let’s practising Declaring, evoking the mighty Power of No… and Yes. 

Shucks…. Ok. Let’s do it.

I am evoking the Power of No