Yesterday evening, G and I watched this massively intense film called Tenet. It’s his birthday this weekend so I insisted we watch something he’d like to watch, even if it were something I wouldn’t normally go for. My word, it was a roller coaster!! Its main concept was around the future invention of a machine that could cause the inversion of entropy, so that objects and people (especially villains and goodies) could reverse back through time.
So when I went to sleep, TIME was very much on my mind. Somewhere along my intense REM sleep, soon before I woke up, I dreamt of being in a room full of people, and leaning towards a mirror to put on some lip gloss. Looking in the mirror, I realised my lips… and then my tongue too… were tippled with ominous looking blotches. At that moment, I had the very clear ‘experience’ of realising that I had developed a fatal disease of some sort, and that suddenly, now, whatever came next, my TIME was limited.
In that instant of realisation, tears came to my eyes, and simultaneously, as I continued to look into the mirror, ostensibly carrying on my task so as not to bring to myself the attention of the others in the room, I became vividly aware of how awesome lip gloss is… and how incredible it is to be a human being, with lips, applying gloss to them, via a reflection, in a mirror. What a miracle and thrill it all was. And how, while I would carry on after death, this exquisite physicality of being human would not. And that I would miss it. And that I would like to be more present to it in my final days or weeks or months…. To lap it up, to appreciate it fully, to soak it in… before I was returned to non-physical.
****
So at that very moment of writing, G. came in, having just woken up, and snuggled up next to me for a tiny doze together. And I reflected on that phrase: this exquisite physicality of being human. And I thought, “Yes! THIS! This…lying in each other’s arms… this is awesome. This is it. THIS.” It was so vivid, and so simple.
Imagine all the other moments of your day when, with that present moment awareness so vividly afforded you by your dream, you might cease to look back or forth, but simply remark, “Yes, this!”
When I try to perceive my life (consciousness) carrying on without my being on this physical earth plane, I do suddenly pine for the strange old wonders of this world of contrasts….
- The weird sensation I get from watching leaves blow about in the wind (stim-style)
- The relieving, poignant feeling of tears flowing down my cheeks
- The delight of looking at an ordered, nicely arranged room
- The huff and puff of reaching the top of a hill, and looking out
- The taste of G’s amazing pepper sauce on chips
- The sound of my loved ones’ voices
- The buzz of singing gospel in a choir of 50 singers
These are the sensory experiences of Life on Earth.
Then there are the mental, psychological, intellectual experiences:
- loss and bereavement
- falling in love
- solving a puzzle
- speaking your truth
- finishing a good book
- being promoted
- buying a house
- making a new friend
- offering a listening ear
- having an argument!
- shame for having erred
Then there are the spiritual, transcendent experiences:
- Pre-sensing an occurrence, Cassandra-style
- Reaching stillpoint in meditation, beyond thought
- Watching grace at work in your life
- Prayers answered; prayers articulated without ‘asking’
- Visions received
- Miracles flitting before your eyes
- Knowings
- The euphoria of connection with another soul
- Soul recalibration
- Vibrational alignment
- Being transported by something even grander than joy…
- The little purple and/or white flashes
- Getting a visit <3
- Hearing that which cannot be ‘heard’… <3
- Meeting your polar being…
- But also, spiritual pining, spiritual drought, spiritual tests, karmic burn, psychic tussles, karmic cords, complex soul contracts, soul trauma…
These are matters that, generally, it is incredibly hard to talk about with others – or at least, to find others with whom you can talk about these things.
Whereas this exquisite physicality of being human can be talked about far and wide.
That is true.
When you are aware of the vibrational frequency you are offering, you become more fundamentally aware of the degree to which you are sitting in the present moment awareness of YesThis!, versus the timespin of NotThat!.
And what vibrational frequency am I offering now?
And now? And now? It shifts by the second. What you can do is find ways of deep diving, and settling into the vibration of peace.
Like the HeartMath biofeedback device helps one to do?
Exactly so. You will know you have reached the vibration of peace because YesThis! will spring up naturally.
So don’t force the YesThis! but observe when and where it arises?
The wisest thing you can do is practise putting your foot on the brakes of your thinking.
Ah yes… get thoughtless. 🙂 It’s tough isn’t it. The Head doesn’t like it.
So engage the Heart. The Heart always sits in the present moment. It is always looking for opportunities to sink, sink, sink into perfect peace.
When I stop now and lay my hands on my Heart and go in, I see my Heart is troubled, tired, and frazzled. Should I remain with my attention on my Heart… in the hope that it will ping back to peace; or will placing my attention on a troubled Heart just cause me to aggravate and magnify the troubledness? Is it better to look for uplifting things, in the faith that that will uplift and soothe my Heart?
What would Esther do?
She would put her attention on something else, until she was able to say, “Yes, this!”
Remember, the realisation that ‘my time is limited’ was crucial to your radical perception of the exquisite physicality of being human. As Abraham says, “If we were in your physical shoes…” Absorb the moments of physicality afforded to you by your TIME in this physical reality. You came here to the PHYSICAL to learn something from it, not to disdain it, or rise above it, or dismiss it. Let the physical world do its work with you. Let your senses absorb what they perceive in the HERE&NOW and receive the bounty hidden in each blessed moment in TIME, which is the potential of a revelatory YesThis!. Play with this notion today. Allow the YesThis! moments to be received and generated. Linger with them. Let the exquisite confluence of time, space and consciousness do its work in and through you. Be a conduit for appreciative attention. Be the observer on this physical plane. Be the eyes and ears of your soul, down here in the glorious Wonderland of this plane. It won’t last for ever.
Wow. Beautiful. Thank you. May I absorb this. Yes, this!! This is an experience!!
I am playing YesThis! today