If Radical Love is the purpose, good healthy boundaries are the key. Counter-intuitive? This came up for me in a Listening Space session yesterday, when I enquired of myself about my unpleasant incidents of finding myself being critical or judgemental of others – in particular those I am in a working relationship with, or a supportive relationship. It all, I discovered, came down to poor boundary setting on my part. When I have good boundaries, I have no need to sound off about others. I can practise it with clients, so now it’s time to practise it with others I am in a less clearcut relationship with. It’s especially those who I think I am supporting non-professionally, and who, because of lack of good boundaries on my part, I then think should be reciprocating to me in some way. Not nice…
Easy tiger. Gentle on yourself. This is good work. Yes, the topic of healthy boundaries is still there to be worked on.
What might I learn today? I should update you btw. Yesterday I had my Covid-19 vaccination – feeling a bit ropey, but not too bad, thank goodness! Also, today, in Day 3 of lockdown easing, we are having our second Rule of 6 picnic in the garden (first was on Mon – G’s mum’s birthday!). My beloved Dad and J are coming, and my gorgeous girls will be here too, with me & G.
Pick up Bringers of the Dawn..
Ah yes. Page 146. ‘You must be able to master who you are.‘ Physically, psychologically, psychically…
Do you spot the reference to people being ‘coded to teach themselves‘?
Yes. Page 147.
Teaching yourself about Personal Boundaries is a key aspect of mastering who you are. Do you understand that? This is not secondary or additional work, it is core curriculum.
And how can I help ‘teach myself’ today?
The mark of healthy personal boundaries is excellent energy management. Do you hear that? Excellent energy management means
- a) the will to take action early as needed, not procrastinate out of fear of the other and
- b) the will to expend minimal energy in pursuit of your good relationships.
A misunderstanding of the human mind is that ‘one must expend maximal energy to show another that we love them’. The opposite could almost be said to be true. Why? Because JOINING is the purpose and work of human relations, and hand-splashing (or exerting energy to force results) is the antithesis of JOINING.
Were you to sit and meditate on your patio all morning in anticipation of your father’s arrival, you would be better placed to meet him, and the space would be more effectively set for his arrival, than if you spent three hours rushing about cooking and sprucing and … [you can say it…] fussing.
Fussing? Ha! Very sassy. I hear you.
This is not to say you can’t prepare lunch and wipe the winter’s dirt off the outside loo. But, you must master your inner state, so that all you do is in vibrational alignment with the impact you are seeking to engender, which is JOINING.
So the spirit I bring to preparing the space is as important as the actual tasks I accomplish.
More important. We are talking about two completely different timelines here.
Fussy vs fuss-free.
There is drama in that statement. Go back to the origins of this dialogue: good boundaries permit good joining.
You are asking yourself, ‘Where are the boundaries of my healthy energy expenditure?’ – especially as your body is still managing the effects of the vaccine. But more than anything, you are asking yourself, ‘What vibrational arena am I creating for maximal Joining today?’
‘Vibrational arena’… Ooh I love that term.
You can apply it to your work, your relationships, your home.
I really like this. Today I will play with this power we have to create vibrational arenas for maximal Joining. Anything else you’d like me to know?
Be soft… softer still… That’s it. How delicate is this work… How acutely delicate! Do not under-estimate the vibrational impact of your every thought and action. Bring softness to your thinking and to your actions. Know that, in the higher realms, a thought can launch an avalanche. Therefore, take care that your thoughts are representative of the avalanche you are seeking to set forth – an avalanche of confusion, an avalanche of love, an avalanche of sadness, or an avalanche of healing? All options – or timelines – are available to you, creative beings. Therefore, go upstream, go to the top of the snowy mountain, and set the course of your timeline consciously.
I set an intention of Joining – amongst us as a family. Gently. Softly. Ease-ily.
Beautiful.
I am creating a vibrational arena for our Joining