I’m a bit abashed by yesterday’s rather long and (ergh) money-focussed phrase!
Good! It’s getting into the corners of you. You began this MEDS project thinking that applying discipline to your practices of meditation, exercise, diet and sleep would create balance. Did you not?
Yes! I guess I did. I thought that some tweaking of the MEDS would support my mental health and physical wellbeing.
And what are you learning now?
I think I’m learning that tweaking my daily ‘prescription’ may help, but what is really going to cut the mustard is my consistent inner state. I need to be in harmony with my inner being first, and after that, other things (like getting my MEDS right) flow naturally.
Right. The MEDS project, with its daily protocols and stats listing, jostled at your awareness nicely. But ultimately, you are looking at settling your nervous system, aligning with your heart, binding with your intuition… as your primary self-care prescription. You are learning to love and accept and approve of yourself in the act of self-care. It’s intangible and yet thoroughly practical and pragmatic.
You are learning to apply self-love even, yes even, around matters of financial wellbeing. For you, that is really getting in to the corners of your inner healing.
You can meditate daily, exercise faithfully, eat like a goddess, and sleep like a dormouse… But, if these MEDS are undertaken without the full foundation of self-approval, self-care, self-love, self-compassion… you are at constant risk of using such pragmatic protocols as a stick to punish yourself with.
The spirit of your doing is the key.
How do I open my heart further to allow and absorb these matters of self-approval etc? How do I turn the tanker of old habits of self-punishment?
What do you think?
It feels like it needs some ongoing self-hypnosis. Some re-programming of the subconscious mind, the underlying operating system of the self. Some radical act of self-forgiveness. Some laying down of massive protective boundaries. (“Build the wall! Build the wall!”) Sorry… a troubling and unwelcome text message came in and triggered me there…
Build the wall, you say. What is this message actually saying?
It’s something around boundaries, I guess.
Dear heart, it is about closing the door to the endless incomers to your energy system. You have work to do. Your openness to others is commendable in its intention, but condemnable in its impact upon you. You are tired, exhausted even. You do indeed need a renewed sense of self-space to grow.
What is self-space?
The space into which others, let’s just say clients for now, cannot enter or roam free.
BUT THEN I’D HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY “NO”!
The upside of saying “No” is that you can also more clearly say “Yes” – to your colleagues, your clients, your co-workers, your friends, your companions, your self and your universe.
Learning to say a resounding “Yes!” and a firm “No!” is at the heart of the MEDS project. It is the lever for applying self-care.
A hundred thousand half-hearted “Yeses” are the cause of your adrenal fatigue.
Woah! Haha. I can see that… Yikes. That’s powerful stuff. Time to start recognising myself in the act of a half-hearted yes, and to get clear about my resounding Noes.
Practise it: No, no, no. Thank you but no. No, I am not able to agree to that. No, no, nobody, no. Not now, not then, not here, not there. No, thank you. Thank you, but no. Nononono.
Ok but what about the things I’d like to say no to, but doing so is just actually coming out of my laziness or fear… Like when I dodge admin calls..?
You know the answer to this. Make it a ‘Heck yeah!’ if doing it will create equilibrium and enhanced self-space. Wrestle it heartily to the ground with a kiss. Seize it and its ability to give you peace. Bring some energy to the matters that need to be a yes for you to progress.
Practising ‘the Resounding Yes and the Firm No’ is a game in itself. You can play that today, using anchoring to accompany it. Left hand click is YES; right hand click is NO. Remember, dear soul… the abyss loves vagueness and abhors certainty. Practise the Art of Assured Certainty as the greatest asset in your portfolio of self-care skills.
I am playing the game of ‘the Resounding Yes & the Firm No’
PS. Ah Universal Consciousness, you rock. I finished this dialogue and then picked up the book Tools of Titans while I brushed my teeth. Look at the very next pages awaiting me:
My Key Takeaway Questions on How to Say No When It Matters Most (Tim Ferris):
- Are you doing what you’re uniquely capable of, what you feel placed here on earth to do? Can you be replaced?
- How often are you saying “Hell Yeah!” or “No”? And on the other hand, are you actually drowning in “kinda cool” commitments?
- How much of your life is Making versus Managing? Are you getting the blocks of 3-5 hours for making, several times a week? See more: http://paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html
- Are you fooling yourself with a plan for ‘moderation’?
- You say health is #1… But is it really? If you sleep poorly will you cancel that early morning meeting at the last minute to catch up on sleep? Do you play in to the ‘culture of cortisol’?
- Are you having a breakthrough or a breakdown?
- “Make your peace with the fact that saying ‘no’ often requires trading popularity for respect.” Greg McKeown
Onwards. Resounding yes (click left!); firm no (click right!). ?