In this state of ‘helping myself to the happiness of harmony’, what is it the heart desires? I know that the key to bringing about our intentions is the unity of heart and mind.
What would Mind achieve this week?
Lots of little tiddlers. Meeting the demands of all those emails, chores, tasks undone… A spot of people-pleasing, and not getting into trouble.
And what about Heart?
Heart would like to plant some financial growth seeds. Literally, just those simple seeds which will start to spring up and flourish in due course, as a matter of natural progression.
What are those seeds?
The odd advert, circulating my flyer, a bit of social media marketing…
So how will you balance your Mind’s desire to ‘answer those emails before you get into trouble’ with your Heart’s desire to ‘plant some financial growth seeds’?
I know I need to get Mind on board for it to support the activities of Heart.
Can you give Mind a role in the planting of financial growth seeds?
It could be proof-reader and fact-checker?
Good. Anything else required by Mind?
Mind likes to know everything will be accounted for, but it’s not terribly good at keeping the Self-Care side of things ticking on. Like yesterday, it turned out to be really helpful to say to myself:
I am helping myself to the happiness of harmony, and one of the ways I’m doing this is by having a Self-Care Sunday, in which I play Switch20 on tasks for which I will say, “I love and approve of myself [doing xyz self-care task].”
Are we back to Housekeeping Habits?
Yes! These self-care tasks (so easily ditched by Mind because they put our needs first and not the needs/demands of clients/family/others etc) are indeed the Housekeeping Habits.
And ‘loving and approving of’ yourself helps you stick to the Housekeeping Habits?
I guess so. Sometimes I’ve felt ashamed, nervous or like I’m wasting time when I do those housekeeping tasks which actually give me a sense of balance or completion when done. But I’m watching my G who doesn’t have the same preoccupation. In fact he feels unsettled if he hasn’t done those housekeeping tasks – which is natural I guess… but in such circumstances, he actually politely turns down other invitations/demands to focus on building the equilibrium back up again, until it’s done. I realise that I, on the other hand, became so highly accustomed to bowling along (and being bowled along by others’ requests) without a sense of foundation (housekeeping in hand etc), that I normalised that state – to the degree that I actually thought that building the balanced foundation was somehow selfish, a waste of time… an indulgence. That’s what it is – I thought I was an indulgence to get everything to a state of equilibrium! Ha! I actively disapproved of myself if I ever turned down others’ demands on account of not having met my own. It’s the ‘obliger’ tendency in me, in Gretchin Rubin’s terms. But as I have seen through the mirror of my relationship, putting off meeting my own needs for equilibrium merely has the result of leaving me with less energy and fewer resources for meeting my needs later, which equally leaves me less able to ‘people-please’ later! In other words, by bucking the quiet call to establish equilibrium I’m sabotaging even the obliger in me!
So now: I’m learning to love and approve of myself when…
- meeting my own needs
- building my own foundation
- finding personal equilibrium
- helping myself to the happiness of harmony
- putting myself and my home and my ‘heart’ first
- seeking a sense of ‘all is in its place’
Helpful, heart-warming stuff. Can you apply these insights to the planting of the Financial Growth Seeds?
Aha. As in, “I’m learning to love and approve of myself when I plant the seeds of financial growth.” Wow. There’s good work there. It’s a bit long.
Long phrases require attention. Is that ok?
Yes. It is.
Today, I am learning to love and approve of myself when I plant the seeds of financial growth.