I have taken a couple of days of Blessing-Spotting, and I learnt this:
- Yes, you need to get quiet and use your inner ‘binoculars’ to look out, even if only for a few seconds, to grant yourself the requisite pause to be able to say, ‘Oh goodness, this moment is a blessing.’ Snap – it’s spotted and logged.
- Rushing headlong all day sure makes it hard to spot blessings – I become the proverbial disappointed forest-stomping bird twitcher in that scenario.
- Anchoring my Blessing-Spotting moments (eg with a pinch of the fingers) highlights and embeds the awareness of the moment.
I could ‘see’ my Blessings clocking up, as if via some kind of Blessing Counter. It became playful to imagine the numbers flicking round – according not to the conditions around me, but crucially, according to my state of present moment awareness. I could also sense when I was jamming the counter by locking into awareness of ‘problems’ or ‘complaints’ or ‘judgments’…
All this said, this morning I woke at 5am with an anxiety attack… about… you know, emails to write and people to call and plans to settle and I don’t know what else… I am at the rough end of my cycle and (thankfully) aware that I am in my PMDD phase. So. What of the blessing spotting? How does it fit with this anxiety?
Playfulness is your next step! You worked on ‘peace of mind’ as a route to Blessing-Spotting. Now work on ‘playfulness’ to circumnavigate the old taut state.
Playfulness. Yes! I’ve been gamifying my 9 Morning Offices (‘duties or rites’ of self-care and business admin) using 9 cards which I challenge myself to complete (and turn over) by the end of the morning, or even the day.
And what are those 9 Morning Offices?
At the moment the 9 Morning Offices are – in any order:
- Kitchen (tidy up and make coffee)
- QT (Quiet Time – and this writing)
- Exercise (Walk/Qigong/Singing)
- Yesterbox (Admin/inbox/finances)
- Breakfast/brunch
- Shower & Dress
- Planning / Social Media Marketing
- Publishing – blog for my work website
- Pages – new/updated website pages
Where is the bit where you communicate with others?
Um… I don’t, apart from with G. It’s like a bubble where I get stuff done and clear the decks and complete the tasks I’d otherwise dodge. Don’t make me change it………….
Nothing is obligatory. It’s just notable that you are here in ‘broadcast’ mode.
Yes – so that I can be in receptive and exchange mode in the afternoon – that’s when I open the ‘shop’. What are you saying?
We’re saying you are not alone, you know.
I know! I’m awash with people! That’s why I woke up anxious today.
We know you know.
I know I know. And yet, I engage in so much solitary pushing… But I need to keep the plates spinning and the ball rolling… I’ve crashed before and it rendered me insolvent in a matter of months.
You are not alone. It’s like… We want to give you an imaginary image of you with a bee in your hair. We want to say, please stop trying to get it out yourself. Sit down still and let us do it. Can you still down still, safe in the knowledge that the bee will be freed..?
By an unseen hand?
By an unseen hand.
You know that you know – you just don’t live your life by that knowledge. As if you don’t trust your capacity to know, or you think that that’s not how the game of life should be played – that somehow using your inherent knowing is cheating. Like you have to take the analogue route instead of the digital.
Like you have to make like a muggle…
Like you have to walk instead of take the car…
Like you have to open the tin with your teeth instead of the can-opener…
Like you have to play Russian roulette instead of Solitaire…
Ooh, yikes! Like you have to dance the can-can instead of the slow waltz…
So, dear friend. Do you feel prepared to use your Knowing instead of your Thinking? Will you engage your Knowing instead of your Hoping or Efforting or Plate-Spinning?
How?
Tuning in, in the same way you do for Blessing-Spotting, peacefully and playfully, as the quiet observer.
What if I get swept up in trying to be prescient, or somehow psychic…?
You already know the difference between the wishful thinking/stab in the dark guesses, and the firm hunch/inner intuition. Remember your so-named Cassandra Syndrome frustrations, and how you lamented at people not listening to your predictions which always turned out to be right? This was claircognisence that you didn’t spot for what it was – a gift to be used with care and wisdom. A gift to benefit you as much as anyone else. So let’s aim for less Cassandra-slash-Mystic-Meg, and a spot more Using The Gift God Gave You For Good. This requires groundedness, confidence and finding/using your voice firmly, clearly and without undue staticky emotion. More than anything, it requires speaking your truth, even if you sense it to be unwelcome.
<<<Aaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh! Not speaking my trutttthhhhhh!>>>
Just kidding. Yeah, ok. I hear you. Big project this.
No it’s not. Little project that will unleash something big, and pleasing, and releasing, and fun, and playful. Keep it playful.
So this is like Blessing-Spotting, but focussed on ‘knowings’… Get quiet and still and tune into what you see/sense/hear.
Just like we do here. And act on it.
Risky for me, in terms of my Aspieness… I am best to err on the side of caution in my social communications and actions… Due diligence…
What’s this muggle speak?! (<3) You be you! You do you!
Oh lordy… Ok, well I’m prepared to play with this ‘knowing’ business – just grant me protection, wisdom and… kindfulness to myself and to others. (I made that word up and I like it.)
It’s a deal.
“I am knowing what I am knowing.”