Ktengodolor, sabes..? Digo, saben?
Que sí. Come fue tu día ayer, corazon a corazon?
Bien. Me senti cercana a la gente con quien estaba, e un poco mas conectado a tierra tambien. Less like I was overcooking the small fish (see TTChing 60). The heart to heart work is so good – so subtle.
Muy sutil.
Ok, so: pregunta. Do I have a story about ‘being hard done by’? Please help me see myself. Because if I do (and I have this inner inckling that this is the case) that is no fun. And it is also a blocker to heart to heart connection.
Look into the word ‘suspicion’.
Also: ‘a belief in someone’s guilt‘
So, maybe you’re saying that I have an underlying tendency to distrust others, or believe in another’s guilt / wrongdoings. It’s just that over various years, I’ve also been profoundly naive, and failed to protect myself against the actual poor judgment (and/or nastiness) or others. Where’s the balance? Is there such a thing as a healthy suspicion?
A suspicion is only healthy if you do not hesitate to discover whether or not there is basis for your misgivings. Presumption of innocence is the fair first premise.
So this is a much more active stance than ‘stewing in the worry that one is hard done by again’…
Exactly. It requires… hold on to your hats… dialogue.
Not dialogue!! Haha. Ok. Yes. I hear ya.
Let’s read.
-61- A great country is like the low lands where all the streams unite. In all things under heaven the female overcomes the male by her stillness, and because she is still she lies below. Hence, if the great country will take the low place it will win over the little country. If the little country will take the low place it will win over the great country. Thus, the one gets below and prospers and the other remains below and prospers. All that the great country wants is more people. All that the little country wants is a place for its people to go and to be employed. If each is to get what it wants it is necessary for the great country to take the low place. (The Tao Te Ching 61)
Ok this is complex and I won’t go into detail here, but my take is that I might have been overcooking the ‘small fish’ over recent months. More stillness, less rushing to fill the cup, might be wise. I may have created misunderstanding by fomenting ‘excess potential’ (Reality Transurfing term) in my 24/7 eagerness. Each country needs to have its boundaries, and its own authentic culture. Let there be two countries of equal size, with a leader in each, working bilaterally – instead of one unwieldy country with a population of two, unsure who is holding the reins…
My heart aches…
Then energise it firmly. Eyes on the Target Slide. What is it?
Ha, yes. I need to get clear on my 12 week Target Slide. A brochure in hand!!!
Ok. I get it. Time to focus in. Enough heartache. Time to return to 12 Week Year and Quarterly Goals. Get back to TargetSlidesVille, and focus on creating, not unravelling. Use the opportunity to generate upflow. Am I right?
This brochure in hand… In the Target Slide, are you standing along in the middle of field with said brochure in hand? What’s it for? What are you doing with it?
I am giving it to… people. Posting it out in Jan! In envelopes.
Heart to heart to heart to heart. May your work generate heart to heart connection.
Oh thank you. Often I feel either in heart mode or work mode.
You have the opportunity to understand that STO functions as a commercial activity just fine if, if, if ‘your heart is in the right place’.
Meaning?
Go in and find out…
***SilentMed***
Insights arising: When ‘my heart is in the right place’ it is to be found quietly blending the frequencies of peace, unity, love and light {PULL}… or rather, scrolling upwards through those different vibrations. Cool. But also, when I work with that scrolling exercise… I keep finding strong counter feelings arising simultaneously – the inexplicable fluttering shadows of old hate, rage, frustration. When I delved in there a bit, I found the inner call wasn’t so much for Healing That Stuff, so much as the realisation that self-generated complexity was what was/is keeping me from keeping my heart in the right place (and thus being able to experience PULL deeply). What’s the antidote to complexity? Simplicity. (Hello, old friend) Surrendering to simplicity, I sensed, was/is the route to feeling one’s heart in the right place consistently.
…And therefore to being able to trust oneself in the world.
Ha! So when my heart is in the right place – as a result of surrendering to simplicity – I overcook my small fish less – and I create less excess potential – and I can access the experience of PULL – and I no longer feel hard done by or blameful of others…?
The heart heals in the contemplation of love (or ‘PULL’), and the healing circumstances are extremely simple ones.
Generate simplicity.
Generate simplicity.
I am generating simplicity
Postscript:
I remember the gruelling ‘It takes two to ruin a relationship’ work in divorce coaching.
Spotting my contribution to difficulties was/is crucial.
I can recognise that in past stories (of being ‘taken advantage of’ financially), I created excess potential by pouring in energy (out of fear of rejection/abandonment… no, out of fear of sparking ‘displeasure’ or causing dismay). But my pouring out of seemingly-endless energy and excess potential gave the impression to the other person that there was endless energy to impart on my side. Energy = money, goodwill, turning-a-blind-eye etc. It was up to me to spot that lashing buckets of energy (to the degree it actually gives you burnout/adrenaline deficit) is not the way to secure a relationship. In fact, it puts the other person in a fantasy world about you where you (‘I’) create the impression I have no personal need/boundaries/limits. What happens eventually? The other person expects more than I can give, and then when it’s not received (or even when it is) leaves despite our now being bound together economically… and my financial collapse ensues. Am I am left ‘broken’ but also, as I remembered yesterday ‘livid’. Such a strange, visceral word – like I can feel it in my liver. Anyway, it’s a feeling of anger. Anger is a sign of the need for better boundaries.
So, what’s the lesson? Well, how about I install and maintain my personal boundaries at the beginning of things, for the safety, clarity and authenticity of all. And if their displeasure/dismay arises, we deal with that. And maybe in the dealing, we create truer, deeper intimacy and honest connection.
Yes, maybe, in being a 24/7 -boundaryless-energy-splurge-fest I was actually preventing true connection. I was anticipating and offsetting and diverting any displeasure (because the idea terrified me)…. so the result was, we could never talk through realities, because on the surface there was never any need to. In effect, I’d made us one seemingly unified mind. Harsh for both involved actually…
A relationship is a space which supports the sovereignty of each individual, if and when each one is ready and willing to step into their sovereign shoes. And that ‘stepping into sovereignty’ is purely a personal/individual choice, opportunity and responsibility.
Simple. 😉
I am generating simplicity, not excess potential