Peak 128: I am seeking to give unto others from a parasympathetic state (Go Calm)

Last time, you mentioned some words it would be good for me to revise:

‘The heart wishes for no more than to act as a channel between this world and the unseen.’

Something happened yesterday, when I was training hospital staff for the day. I prayed for some guidance as I walked to the venue. I heard: ‘Have unconditional love for each person’. My goodness: that mindset made such a difference to my day.

When having unconditional love for each person became my M.O.:

  • I stopped feeling I needed to prove myself or make an impression
  • I actually enjoyed people’s company
  • I super tuned-in and listened to people
  • I was full of admiration and warmth for everyone around me
  • I was less of the ‘big I am’
  • I felt my contribution was just that – a contribution to the pot, not a performance
  • I felt more humble / modest / happy to be quiet

At the same time, my beautiful co-trainer did quite a lot of work on compassionate conversations, and the internal state – which underlined the principles of being in a loving state.

I reflected that, until we can drop into the parasympathetic state, we can’t show compassion, and we can’t have unconditional love. Chilling the heck out is therefore completely key.

It is about the Intention. If your intention is to Give, chilling the heck out then aligns you nicely. If your intention is to Take, then chilling the heck out becomes ‘zone out’ time. 

I think of  my friend and role model, Janet C and her absolutely getting the meaning of service, and living it…… Oh my heart.

I know why ‘taking’ / ‘giving’ has come up today. My nutritionist picked up candida in my gut, again.. A couple of days ago, I looked up what Louise Hay says about candida:

Candida: Feeling very scattered. Lots of frustration and anger. Demanding and untrusting in relationships. Great takers.


Also see this: 

‘Candida is associated with feeling victimized and includes: helplessness, hopelessness, fear of responsibility, too much responsibility, overwhelming burden, suppressed rage, lack of confidence and betrayal. Often there are underlying and unconscious beliefs, such as: I am not good enough; no matter how hard I try I can’t get what I want; I’ve tried everything and nothing works; I can’t heal completely; I am not lovable, etc.’ (

So some context. Last week (20191104) the kinesiologist/nutritionist, Maria, did energy work (like reiki…) on my underlying causes of candida and adrenal fatigue including in relation to my rel … and it has changed everything…. as energy work does. My hunch is that the energy shift has revealed how I was ‘giving’ as a way of ‘taking’ in the rel (probably being quite demanding, but masking it as giving) and was accruing frustration and anger… which of course has now surfaced. I hadn’t been communicating properly, because of ‘fear of displeasure’ – my stuff from old. I had been energy splurging and not solving things properly… and paying for it with adrenaline. Man alive, old patterns re-emerging..


How about…

I learn to get grounded, chilled, parasympathetic, inner anchored, energetically aligned (unscattered)

so that

I can actually work with unconditional love, compassion, giving, dedication, STO.

If you offer STO out of fear, need for money, hoping to win the pleasure/favour/business of others, you are scattered and you  burn out. 

If you can un-scatter or ‘gather’, if you can truly self-love, if you can grant your body peace (parasympathetic state), then the heart’s desire is granted: to act as a channel between this world and the unseen. 

I need a complete inner makeover. Oh God. I need to be healed again… And again.

You have the tools at your finger-tips, you really do. From mindfulness, to prayer, to qigong, to good eating, to nature immersion, to loving your loved ones… It is all there. Self-love, true self-love is the next step. 

I remember Matt Kahn’s ‘I love yous’.

Right. Times a thousand thousand. 

You can only love your loved ones in purity if and as you truly love your self. Does that help you learn to prioritise this work? 


But here is your tool for today: Seek to give unto others, from a parasympathetic state. Play with that. 

Tysm. Let me quickly read  the chapter for today….

-64- Peace is easily maintained while things are still at rest. [Exactly!!] Trouble is easily handled before it starts. What is brittle is easily broken. What is minute is easily scattered. Handle a problem before it appears. Secure order before confusion begins. A tree as big as a person’s embrace begins as a tiny shoot. A terrace nine stories high rises from a shovelful of earth. A journey of a thousand miles begins under your feet. A person who interferes does harm, and those who grasp lose their hold. Therefore, the True Person acts without striving and does no harm, avoids grabbing and never loses hold. People often ruin their ventures when they are on the verge of success. So, be as careful at the end as at the beginning, and your work will not be ruined. Therefore, the True Person seeks freedom from desire, does not value things that are hard to come by, learns without scholarship, brings people back to what they have passed by, and assists the ten thousand things to find their own natures; all without daring to interfere. (The Tao Te Ching 64)

Oh my goodness, this is so very beautiful. And perfect for today (as ever).

I really hear the call to stop interfering or striving

You can’t interfere or strive in the parasympathetic state. 

So going parasympathetic is the antidote to adding nonsense, to overcooking, to scattering, to demanding and to taking…

I know I’ve been pushing a loved one and bringing interference… in the guise of love… out of this feeling that if I don’t perform love for us it will go..? Crikey. Help me to be prepared for a more adult-adult relationship. And may my work arise out of a completely different state. Yet again, may jazz hands fall away. Oh my God, prepare me to seek to give unto others, from a parasympathetic state. May I fathom this inner state of calm. May I only act when I am in the state of calm. Show me unconditional love in my heart. Help me to work truly with compassion – not striving or interference. Oh God, heal my inner state. Please heal my energetic alignment, that I may indeed be at peace. Make my heart able to be the channel it longs to be, between the world around me and the unseen world – and let me not be attached to that in any way, but show me how to settle, settle, settle, settle…

…in to STO 2.0. 

Y. E. S.


I am seeking to give unto others, from a parasympathetic state



I remember the last thing I said to Maria before she began her energy work was ‘Excitability! I have a tendency to excitability I really need to work on!’ I think that is the ‘scattered’, sympathetic, demanding, taking, interfering, striving aspect. It’s a helpful word to remember. Am I feeling ‘Excitable’? Ok… time to take a breath, settle into parasympathetic… especially if I am also seeking to work.

ie. Stop doing work with others (eg clients) in the excitable state. It’s not fair on them or me. Stop showing love through excitability – there’s a hard one to give up!

Trust that the world won’t turn against you if you Go Calm. 

That is massive. Ty. Absolutely nails it.

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