Peak 41: I am at zero-point rest in myself

A busy, difficult, full few days have passed (more-or-less social media-free btw) . I have endeavoured to give comfort and reassurance here and there. I may have both depleted myself, and also done the opposite of that which I intended, along the way. To be frank, I’m really struggling with my mental wellbeing. Yesterday, I could barely function – I did no work and spent much of the day in bed, wrangling internally with varying degrees of grief, distress and numbness. Can you reorientate me?

‘You’ve got to pray just to make it today…’

Connect me, please. Reconnect me.

You are never disconnected. We are always here for you. You are held eternally in the palm of God’s hand. 

‘Losing my religion…’

…Was difficult. And also part of your plan. 


To learn personal connection.

I long for God with every particle of my being.

Here is some comfort and reassurance, beloved soul: God is not elsewhere. 

Where are my receiver mechanisms then?

In your very stillness. 

I long to retreat into zero.

Be your own guest. 

What does that mean?

Imagine you are a warm and welcoming house. Enter into yourself with curiosity, gratitude and appreciation. Look around. Explore. See what’s there. Use the facilities. Feel at home. Rest. Rest. Rest in yourself. Be at rest, in yourself. Find the retreat centre within yourself. Nowhere to travel to, no ticket to purchase, no suitcase to pack, no strange bed to occupy. Find the ‘retreat into zero’ within your own sweet self. 

And the prayer? The connection with God?

Yes, it is. All of this is embodied in the retreat into your own internal zero-point of stillness and worldlessness – [typo for ‘wordlessness’ but I like it]. 

Be still and know that I am God? Maybe… I worry that I am self-absorbed with all the I Ams…

Holy, holy, holy… Be still and know that God is. 

This seems so radical… Focus my mind and my heart, please, oh soul of my being. Loose me from my entanglements of ego and delusion. Rest my attention on that which truly is. Light. Love. Peace. Unity. Up-raise my gaze that it might rest only upon that which illumines us all.

Consider it done. 

And settle me, ground me, steady me, anchor me. Let my mind and heart unite in the business of this life. May I get on with things. May I be productive, kind, effective, connected, giving, servicial, receptive, settled. May I be a beacon of light as others are to me. May I learn ‘the art of good human’ at an exponential rate now, for these days are gifts I could waste in lamentation. Inspire me, daily, hourly, minutely, momentarily… that I may receive the light of all goodness in my heart.

Oh God, guide me, protect me…

Consider it done.

Find that zero-point retreat inside your self. 

‘I am retreating into myself’ doesn’t sound quite the thing….

Whereas ‘I am at zero-point rest in myself’ is quite a different thing. 

Even in the face of difficult work? Shall I rest? [I’m training a group on suicide prevention tomorrow.]

Yes, especially and essentially in the face of difficult work. In fact, to do such work without complete inner calm is extremely hard for you, and your attendees. Settle into inner rest and see how your approach to the work shifts. 

Ok. Tysm. As ever, I am so grateful for these sessions. Amen. Amen. Amen.

I am at zero-point rest in myself


In that rested zero-point I hear myself say: I am not a gun for agency hire. I have my own mission.

So… what is your ‘next step’ in ‘inspired action’?

The new website: MHM. And associated trainings for me. And in my work I need to keep more of an eye on my alignment with my higher perspective than on super-empath-ing with people who are in pain (and judgement of me/others), if I am to do my work consistently. Not easy, apparently, but more sustainable in the long run.


I think it means that…I look to my soul/heart/presence/inner being/source for approval of my actions, not to my fellow humans? Sounds humanly risky but probably metaphysically right?


I am looking inwards to my heart and soul for approval, not outwards


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