In this stillness as sacrament practise, it seems, we are learning to play with idleness as a route to clarity; we are letting our attention rest, rest, rest on the apparently inconsequential so that some other state (the parasympathetic, presumably) can emerge; we are learning to direct our focussed attention on the ephemeral long enough for the brain state to shift gear into ‘awareness’. Awareness is where the good stuff is, isn’t it?
And what is ‘awareness’ to you?
I guess I mean meta-awareness, really. Somehow, getting from the worm’s eye view to the bird’s eye view of our reality, and being released from the grip of the mind’s concerns.
Does the bird have no concerns?
Man, not compared to the worm! What am I saying? I’m saying, the bird at height has greater perspective, which confers upon her greater scope for freedom to choose.
And the worm has less freedom to choose?
Yes! Because life (or the bird!) comes at the worm so quickly. The worm is at the mercy of the laws of gravity and physicality… It can’t respond with agility in the way the bird can.
So the bird has greater agility when it comes to responding?
Yes, I think that is it. When I am well, happy and balanced, I can choose my responses to my life well. I am AWARE that I am choosing. I am AWARE that I am a player in a scene, and that I can direct the storyline of my own scene. I become the protagonist of my experiences, rather than the object / victim / expendable ‘extra’.
Can the worm not achieve that level of awareness?
I guess it can. As long as mortality is not considered failure…
Bingo.
Excuse me?
Mortality as failure.
I know that not to be the case! I revel in the gift of mortality! But also… I guess… I am learning to value life.
Yes. You. Are. It’s beautiful.
I was pretty shoulder-shruggy about life for a while, especially once my precious girls were grown up and independent, and I’d lost that exquisite sense of their presence and, if I’m honest, their dependence upon my care… Oh my heart. Kids growing up. Will that ever be a topic that doesn’t bring tears to my eyes..?
So, dear soul. This death-dodging you’re now engaged in. Tell us about that.
Ha! You’re so funny. Well, I guess that over the last couple of years I’ve seen this clear sense of how fun, warm, nourishing, fulfilling, dynamic, creative, expressive life-on-this-physical-plane can be. I guess I’ve combusted off a bit of life karma in the past two decades, so there’s the sense of relief in that… but also now I’m just a bit wiser and more skilled at handling not just life but my self, this complicated, over-horse-powered vehicle which came with no darn instructions or care manual.
I can see how fun life can be.
And what is your definition of fun?
My wonderful Mum used to say “It’s got to be fun!” when making decisions like moving to a new house… I think for me, fun is carefree, marvel-ous, smile-inducing. But also, I really am finding the fun in deliciousness of working playfully yet diligently with the laws of this creative cosmos.
The law of attraction?
All the laws pertaining to ‘thought makes thing’. I’m not talking about manifesting myself a sports car. I am talking about learning to discipline my thinking in to {thinking the thoughts that create a joyful reality for me}. Whether that is ‘law of attraction’ or personal DBT, I don’t know. I’m just relieved to be freed from the oppressive thinking that previously created some rather oppressive conditions in my life!!
You sure it’s not just fate or destiny that things are on the up for you?
It could well be. Maybe I did elect to embark on a life of {fast-track crunchy learning followed by the bliss of a ‘normal’ life}. Or maybe, just maybe, I elected to learn the lessons of … conscious thought? I want to use the word ‘manipulation’ although it’s a word that comes with mixed vibes… I really feel that I’m learning to use more-conscious thought to manipulate my reality – and that learning this was the point of my life.
Beautiful. Well articulated. Well said. Well owned.
Thank you. What next? What of it?
Learning to use that conscious thought for Good.
I’ve wanted to!! I’ve wanted to do good for… ages. It seems I had to learn to be ‘happy’ before I could be ‘useful’.
Bingo #2.
Haha. Ok! Yes… That’s nice, I agree:
‘It seems I had to learn to be ‘happy’ before I could be ‘useful’.’
I’m happier than ever before. Shall we talk about that ‘usefulness’ contract?
Useful. Great word. To whom / what?
Well, I reckon we’re talking about STO (service to others), or contributing to a cosmic/divine plan, or participating in the evolution of a happier world. Or maybe it’s just a case of being useful to those around us in our immediate sphere… I get the feeling that the great plan for all of us in about learning. And healing.
As the Starseed books said, there are essentially two jobs at hand: teaching and healing.
Yes. I know. Big stuff… Let’s keep it simple today. How can I get into the ‘useful’ state or place?
Keep on finding ways to be happy and to channel happiness and to hardwire happiness…
Ha. Ok! Well there we go. Onwards and upwards, and tumbling forwards. Hardwiring happiness: I guess that’s making use of our neuroplasticity to reroute neural pathways down the seratonin-dopamine-endorphin highway. Why not? What fun! F. U. N. FUN.
I love an alliteration. We’re going to have to go with…
I am hardwiring happiness