Pivot 116: I am radically letting go

Yesterday was an almost perfect day. I followed my blessed Routine almost to the minute, and everything felt balanced and true – even in complex circumstances. I kept ‘All Is Well’ on a post-it on my laptop. And it was a good and grounding reminder.

This morning, I was woken by an anxiety attack at about 4.45am. Eventually I gave in and came down at 5.30am. Settling in with a coffee, I noticed magpies making a chaotic racket in the garden. It was impossible to concentrate. I looked out of the window with a view to going outside and clapping them away before they woke everyone else. There were the magpies, jumping about in the cherry tree, under which a beautiful fox was happily eating the cherries on the lawn! The magpies that I’d thought were fighting were actually warning other creatures of the danger on the ground.

That’s how anxiety works. Your dear anxiety system (sympathetic nervous system) is sitting up in the ‘tree’ trying to warn you of ‘a fox on the lawn’. 

I wish it wouldn’t during the night..! I started thinking about taking a quarter dose of anxiety medicine, like Temple Grandin. But this morning, I stumbled across an article by an amazing man called Fred Phillips who is tracking his experience with Parkinsons on a brilliant blog and he mentioned CBD oil as part of his recovery protocol (it was about the only thing I’m not doing to manage my own wellbeing):

There are many things we can do to return our body to homeostasis and raise our vibrational frequency. More detailed explanations of these activities will be provided in the series of posts that follow over the upcoming weeks and in the meantime, please feel free to refer to my Recovery Protocol. We can:

    • eat healthy foods
    • exercise
    • meditate
    • practice Qigong, yoga and Tai chi
    • laugh
    • spend time in nature … hug a tree
    • express love unconditionally
    • participate in joyful activities
    • do breathing exercises
    • volunteer
    • take up a hobby
    • learn something new [like a new language or a musical instrument]
    • pray
    • develop a spiritual practice
    • do bodywork [chiropractic]
    • take CBD oil
    • take vitamins and supplements
    • change our beliefs
    • create goals [dream big]
    • find meaning in the PD experience
    • let go of the past [forgive]
    • practice acceptance
    • practice loving compassion
    • develop positive body language and posture
    • change our attitude towards our condition [rather than view it as a disease to fight, see it as a teacher]
    • find inspiration
    • live with enthusiasm
    • live in gratitude

So, I’m going to order some CBD/hemp oil and some more magnesium from Amazon. I know I do not have his condition, but I do need to keep an eye on my dopamine and general homeostasis. We all do. This man speaks some great truths about brain healing.

Is this all ok?

Your discernment is your greatest tool in your toolbox. 

I’m going to take that as a yes. Today? You spoke yesterday about conflict being ‘forgiveness unfolding’. Could you speak to that as I go into a mediation meeting today?

Forgiveness is the second greatest tool in your toolbox! 

Aha. Makes sense.

Today is a day of Letting Go. You read [on Noom] about Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance is Letting Go of that upon which you felt your safety depended – and finding that you were on safe territory all along. It is like taking off your parachute to discover you were not freefalling but standing on the ground all along. Forgiveness is radical letting go. Can you do that too? 

Yes sirreebob I can. Even the phrase makes me feel good.

I am radically letting go. 


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