Presence 25: I am asking how I might better speak my truth

It’s been six days since last I was here.

And yet..

And yet I still haven’t taken the Inner Balance device or pebbles to my office. :/ However, I did have a v complex case in the week, and I took the pebbles with me, and that was good! 🙂 (I will when I stand up next.)

You have had an excellent week. 

I have! I held steady as the storms raged for many of my clients! My qigong practice has been good, and I am feeling much more resilient having lost a stone and a half (21lb/10kg) since March. I’ve been meditating and reading the awesome Presence Process.

What have you learnt from Week 2 of The Presence Process? 

This is a favourite passage:

“When we grasp how this procedure of being set up works, we laugh at how well and how often we get set up. On one level, our entire life experience is a setup. This is the so-called “cosmic joke.” When we discover how to laugh at how well and how often we get set up, and at how we react unconsciously to these experiences, we have access to endless laughter.

To react to the people and circumstances that are emotionally triggering us – to project onto them – is to shoot the messengers sent by Presence. Instead of reacting, we instruct ourselves in the perceptual steps that empower us to respond. The core difference between a reaction and a response is:

  • A reaction is unconscious behavior in which our energy is directed outward into the world in an attempt to defend ourselves or attack another. A reaction is a drama played out in an effort to sedate and control the cause of our upsetting experience. The theme of all reactive behavior is blame and revenge. When we react we “do something about what we perceive is happening to us.”

A response is a conscious choice to contain and constructively internalize this surfacing energy with the intent of using it to integrate unconsciousness. The theme of responsive behavior is responsibility. We respond by “unconditionally feeling the emotional state unfolding within us, without projecting it outward onto others.” (The Presence Process, by Michael Brown, p145-6)

I did experience a REACTION in myself this week – an old and frequently-triggered story about ‘not being listened to by those I love’. I was slightly better able to discuss it this time. I was able to put less energy into ‘shooting the messenger’. I am on the cusp of being able to think about my role and responsibility in this recurring scenario, rather than sticking at blaming or chastising or bemoaning or seeking-to-improve others

So what is the wholesome RESPONSE to this oft-experienced release of charged emotion? 

I think I need to get really clear at setting up a Listening Space before or if I need to be heard. And we’re going to attend a webinar with Tamsin of the Listening Space. 🙂

Let’s move to Week 3 of The PP. 



Our Conscious Response for the Next Seven Days is:


RECEIVING INSIGHT: The Presence Process invites us not to react to our experiences, but to observe them as though watching a play. This isn’t as easy as it sounds because, while “living in time,” we are addicted to reacting.

Being reactive appears as normal behavior because our planetary population currently lives in a state of continual reaction. For this reason, not reacting may initially feel like abnormal behavior.

In week two of The Presence Process, we were invited to acknowledge the reflection of our unconscious memories in the world by watching our experience with the intent to identify “messengers” sent by Presence. These messengers are easy to identify because they materialize as any event or person’s behavior that upsets us. We were invited to do our best not to “shoot the messenger.” Accordingly, we “dismiss the messenger” and in the same breath acknowledge that the value of the upsetting experience is in the message, not its carrier. (The PP pp148-9)

Does this help you think more about the MESSAGE borne to you by your beloved MESSENGER? 

Yes. It’s, as ever, to do with Voice, and no longer needing to ‘ask for permission’ to speak. I know I do make myself heard by clients and training delegates! …In fact they pay to hear my voice, I only now realise!!

So you have ‘contracted’ with them, for them to be listener and you to be speaker. 

And also vice versa for mediation clients, where I do a huge amount of active listening. But it is my voice that has the final call on the directional journey of the conversation. But yes, there’s a contracting involved unlike with loved ones.

Good. Now shhhh. There are things to tell you. 


Meditation time. 


***20mins with new Sensate device+10minsResting***
(oh and I took those things to my office)

That was beautiful. The Sensate takes me so thoroughly into the body. At the end of the 20min session, as the vibrations faded away, I felt so still and so aware, that I imagined fleetingly, what on Earth it might be like to experience, heaven-forfend, locked-in syndrome. My word, all that mental activity, and no body to REACT with, and no words to articulate to ‘shoot the messenger’. And how, as days pass, one must become so acutely aware of What Is: the sound of birds, the thoughts reappearing, the Presence…..

What would you teach me today?


Tell me more.

Transparency is a discipline of the highest degree. 

That’s for sure. What would you like me to know, do or say?

Your truth. Speak your truth. 

I see. And when my truth hurts, offends or triggers someone?

Duck their arrows. 

Oh heckeroony…. Those people that speak their truth regardless of where and how it lands… I often feel they are merely selfish!!

Your truth, accompanied by love, is the catalyst of compassion. If you were to tell your relative or client exactly what you SEE, accompanied by love, then your compassionate act is in allowing that person to have additional data which might help them to grow. 

I can see this with clients, but again, for those close to me… It feels like a breach of…

Code of Conduct? Code of Conduct is changing now. The new Code of Conduct does not facilitate self-blindness or behaviours which harm self, other or planet. We are doing the work of psychic clean-up on this planet. There really is no more time for ‘pretending’ that others’ harmful unconscious behaviour is ‘ok’, or ‘their problem’ or ‘one of those things’. 

Yes. BLM is teaching us that. Phrases like ‘Silence is violence’ open doors to whole corridors of advanced learning. As ASV mentioned to me this week, those who are marginalised and oppressed don’t just need ‘allies’, they need ‘co-conspirators’. ASV is one very such thing. She is a ‘Messenger’ bringing ‘Messages’ which are triggering the heck out of some very ‘senior’ people. She is being used by Presence to provoke Upset, in people who thought they were beyond upset – and so they are REACTING by retaliating against her… rather than acknowledging their actions, or healing their own charged emotions by sitting with Presence.

LVT is likewise a Messenger… of Light, and of Fire… challenging, disrupting, holding a mirror so people can see their Reflections…

An indigo and then a crystal. You have been a lucky bearer of life. 

Oh man, so beautifully blessed. They gave me a Masterclass in Presence, in love and in truth.

Your children are making an art of speaking truths. Ask yourself today if there are areas where you hold silence. Ask yourself today if there are arenas where you too could speak your truth. 

…to Power? Speaking truth to Power?

Speaking truth to falsehood; to unresolved pain that is causing people to enact and project their personal ‘upset’.

It requires such care. And self-awareness. And openness to return ‘spoken truths’ about my own inability to see myself clearly.

And such steadfast confidence that Now is the time for the Old to fall away, and give way to the New.

Your words can help the Old fall away faster. Would you withhold them? 

I am happy to think about speaking Truth today. It touches on my ‘listen to me’ button – thanks a bunch. ? It challenges me out of ‘holding my tongue to protect my income’. That’s another button – again, fanks a bunch. ?  🙂 I will consider as I go about my day where I misuse silence, and where I could be a better co-conspirator to those needing a hand to step beyond the forces that entrap… Amen.

Speaking our truth is a way to RESPOND to that which upsets us; falling into silence is a way to REACT against our inner discomfort. To learn to respond is to learn to use our inner discomfort for the purpose it was originally intended: the acceleration of the evolution and peace of humankind. 

I am asking how I might better speak my truth




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