Well I certainly gave myself opportunity to see my old emotional patterning at play. The tendency to ‘run away’ or ‘put up and shut up’ made itself apparent. I sat and chuntered with a difficult situation, until at last I remembered the ‘flipside’ of my emotional patterning:
I can use my Voice to communicate, negotiate and set boundaries.
And I did. And it was fine.
I guess I could see others’ patterns at play too. (My lovely cousins were there for lunch with my parents too.) We do all repeat recurring messaging about ourselves, over time. The content may change, but the ultimate message about ourselves is oft repeated. You could call it our personality, but I could start to see which aspects of us are inspired by our Universe and which by our Puny-verse. Interesting.
I guess the idea of evolving into emotional maturity is to see to it that the Universal inspirations outweigh the Puny-versal. We have to keep remembering to shift from the default emotional patterning (Puny-verse), to the flipside (Universe!).
Let’s read.
***The Presence Process by Michael Brown p43+***
EMOTIONAL IMPRINTING
- Emotional imprinting is the term we use in The Presence Process to describe the unconscious passing on to us of our parents’ or caregivers’ unintegrated emotional condition. By the time we reach seven years of age, we are emotionally picking up where they left off. The unavoidable consequence of childhood is that we all receive this emotional baton from our parents so that we may take our part in the human race. Imprinting is an unfolding of a sacred agreement we have with each other. Imprinting is therefore not something done to us by our parents, or something we do to another when playing the role of parent. It’s an experience we enter together. p43
- Our potential for our life experience is downloaded vibrationally during the last seven months of womb life, emotionally during the first seven years after birth, mentally between seven and fourteen years of age, and physically by the time we turn twenty-one. p43
- Unless we are able to feel vibrations, we are unable to integrate them. By focusing our attention on integrating our emotional charge – by facilitating ourselves so we feel this energetic condition without condition – we reawaken and develop felt-perception. p44
- Once we are no longer driven into compensatory experiences by charged emotion, our interaction with the emotional body is restored to its highest potential. In other words, we take charge of our experience by taking the charge out of it, which then enables us to live on purpose. p45
I’m still startled daily by the ‘automatic’ pop-up images of self-harm I experience. I’m in such a joyous, happy, safe, held and developed stage of my life, and yet still, the ‘cheese-wire’ garotting and ‘serated knife into the neck’ images still experience themselves through me. Usually on a daily basis. Similarly, the pre-intentional speech (‘plumptons’ as I call them) still occurs almost daily; and certainly daily in periods of stress. I’ve reduced stress considerably, and taken lockdown as an opportunity to rearrange life to be relatively stress-free, predictable, routinised and autism-friendly. And yet, the disturbing ‘automatic’ experiences continue. I am interested to see how and if the PP can help me integrate the emotions that are providing the impulse for these… ‘automatons‘, I shall call them.
Let’s meditate. I’m open to learning about the automatons in this meditation…
***10minMedwithInsightTimer***
In the perfect peace of pure meditation I can sense some … anger in there. Tell me more.
Anger is a sign of breached boundaries. This was a constant experience lived by your parents, and theirs, and theirs before. It has been a striking element of human life for generations that humans breach the boundaries of others. Your generation, and those following, are learning to define what it means to ‘respect the selfhood of the Other’. But your emotional imprinting is marked by ‘breached boundaries’.
I allowed my boundaries to be breached, over time.
As were you imprinted to do. Your emotional imprinting was a Catch-22: “I’m angry because my boundaries have been breached; breach my boundaries.”
Yes! Also, I was always being told No, but wasn’t permitted to say No. That arose today.
That was a feature of those times. A double bluff situation for children.
So…
So, today, the first day of September, the new school year, you are invited to go up ‘a grade’, and enter the arena of respecting your own boundaries. Practise that today, dear soul, as you start the new ‘year’. Notice when they are being breached – feel the feelings! Hear the ‘energy in motion’ and heed its protective message. Your boundaries are sacred. Respect them.
I will endeavour today and each day to respect my boundaries. If a piece of work or a request will require so much effort that it might make me unwell – or stressed or even just exhausted – then I will stand up for my own boundaries.
The sandbags laid out by the villagers simply divert the water so it flows elsewhere. They are doing no harm to the water by diverting it. Lay out your own sandbags before the predicted rains come.
Lovely image. Ty.
I am laying sandbags at my boundaries – before it rains