MIND WAVES: ‘Many sensations come, many thoughts or images arise, but they are just waves of your own mind. Nothing comes from outside your mind. … You yourself make the waves in your mind. If you leave your mind as it is, it will become calm. This mind is called big mind. If your mind is related to something outside itself, that mind is a small mind, a limited mind. … Because we enjoy all aspects of life as an unfolding of big mind, we do not care for any excessive joy. So we have imperturbable composure, and it is with this imperturbable composure of big mind that we practice zazen. ‘ Zen Mind p34-6
***Zazen15minsWithTimer***
I had this clear impression of small/limited mind (‘your mind is related to something outside itself’) as being choppy waters (full of mind waves)…
And big mind (‘you leave your mind as it is’) as being those calm, waveless waters:
I returned to the impression of a floating ‘me’ whenever I noticed that I was juggling ideas about the world ‘outside’… I did feel the expansiveness of big mind, after about 10 minutes.
What is the learning for me here today?
Welcome. It’s good to see you.
I love the big mind feeling. I could stay there forever.
It can also be said that swimming in the big mind sea regularly makes a person much more detached and able and clear-minded in dealing with the outer world – and thereafter you no longer have the desire to hide in the big mind.
Ok. I’m willing to believe that.
I want to talk about my autistic mind. Your thoughts, with regards to Big Mind and Mind Waves?
Perhaps you sense that your Mind Waves are bigger or more frequent than NT folks?
And occasionally, they are Mind Tsunamis (aka meltdowns). But in general, the constant lap, lap, lapping of the waves, and the rolling about of my mind-boat, is just TIRING. Sometimes, it’s great – and I love the stimulation – and I ride about the ocean of my mind as if on a jetski… But, when there is Stuff to Do, it can be boring, or impractical. Herding cats.
Thus, the beautiful autistic mind is invited to…?
To….. get nun like. Simple life; simple routine; big mind at its max potential.
To…. minimise relating ‘to something outside itself’.
To set its own agenda.
Oh. Really. Just that. Sounds ominously like ‘Writing a List of Things to Do’… What do you mean?
To set your own agenda means to set the driving principles for the use of your time, energy and creativity.
Have I been giving that agency away?
But isn’t that what a freelancer does? Give up their time, energy and creativity for money. Isn’t that how we survive?
Are you a freelancer?
Or a ‘solo entrepreneur’?! I read that phrase this morning and it did stand out. The difference being…
Agency. Who sets the final agenda.
As in: a freelancer can set their agenda – ‘I want to work in X field’. But within X field, it’s the client who then sets the freelancer’s final agenda on each project.
Whereas the solo entrepreneur…
Is captain of their own ship, setting it’s course, destination, crew and schedule.
I see. That’s quite a step change, really.
It would certainly give me more Big Mind creative floating space and less Small/Limited Mind splashing about juggling (clients’) balls in the water.
A freelancer sells herself and her skills. An entrepreneur sells a product or a service. A social entrepreneur sells a product or service that benefits people. What’s your product or service?
CR service.
Are you setting your own agenda? Are you captaining your own ship across the oceans?
Could do better.
This would give you more ‘time, energy and creativity’.
Thank you for being my business self-coaching guru.
A coach helps you hold yourself to account, so: What next steps will you take to define and set your own agenda as a solo social entrepreneur?
What?? This is new. Ehem… Well. Let me get up, go for a walk and think about it….
***Walk…and 24 hours of thinking***
Next steps:
- Shift practice online
- Consolidate training to one offer
- Pitch writing
Excellent. How does that feel?
I’ve been writing a long list of pros and cons… But the pros are more numerous. I need to make the shift online, and reduce my training for the good of my physical and mental health. It’s as simple as that. My concern is that I’ll miss being with people… but, I am reminding myself that digital nomads get to travel about, and hang out with loved ones, and have MUCH more energy for social times. My other concern is whether it’ll all actually take off and sustain me (as the freelance/mercenary work does), but I have to remember that in simplifying the work, I’ll have more energy for marketing and BD.
This was really, really good work you did here.
It arose out of settling into Big Mind. So much clarity arose out of that.
Ok, so as your self-coach, the next question is: what are the next steps towards your next steps?
Well I know it always seems to come to this, and either I never do it or I do it do a dull thud… but I think it’s about producing 3 documents, with the 3 offers.
And doing what with them?
Translating them to my website and sending them out passim?
What’s the block here..?
Too scattergun? Too word heavy? Who reads documents? Shouldn’t a picture tell a thousand words?
Ok, so..?
Do a picture instead? Put it into nice visual slides? Yes. This. “A deck” per strand which I can present, and send…?
And then?
Present and send them… passim.
How are you feeling?
Pretty broken, tbh. Exhausted.
Can you imagine this work would set you up for the next five years?
Would I want to do such work for the next five years??
There’s your next question. Excellent.
***Zazen***
Arising: Truth of the matter. Feelings of hate, rage, wrath… All emotions requiring BOUNDARIES. Feeling ‘put upon’ by those I have given my power to.
Do I want that for the next 5 years. NO. Let me return to the idea of being a One Trick Pony: CR.
Practical steps?
You are using your depression well. You are listening to its messaging and acting accordingly. Well done.
‘Use your depression. It’s trying to show (and grow) you something.’ There’s a book title…
A sudden sense of ‘I can do anything if I put my Big Mind to it’ – and use the Self-Coaching business guru…
You are building momentum for FutureYou.
I am. There is a great deal that PresentMe can do to surprise, delight and tickle FutureMe. Awesome.
Set your own agenda