Tag: Tuesday

The Best Bit about playing the Best Bit game was the sheer inner relaxation it brought. I learnt that in each moment, often the Best Bit is exquisitely sensory and physical:

• the warmth and cosiness inside the car
• the feeling of my scarf across my lip
• the sight of the clouds across the blue sky
• the twinkle of autumnal leaves gleaming in the sun
• the softness of my jacket on my arm
• the stillness in me
• the peace and quiet
• the sound of my father’s voice
• the feeling of my father’s jumper as I put my hand on his shoulder as I pass him by
• the sight of my father and step-mother taking each other’s hands so lovingly

In contrast, the Past/Future Thinking of the Problem Factory (brain) is often enervating and aggravating. It is always pointing to something tantalisingly out there and untouchable… unless one consciously brings the thought so close to home that the body can feel it. Naturally, this is commonly done with anxiety-inducing thoughts. How well can we do this physicalisation and embodiment with positive, heart-opening thoughts? Not so easy.

But the present moment has so many soft and comforting and immediate gifts to soak up. Once our mind gets behind the concept of the Best Bit game and throws itself in to scanning the scene for the most warming, inner-smile inducing aspect, then we are away!

The Best Bit of this moment is: I’m comfy in bed writing this and all is well. Ahhh… Breathe out. Absorb that knowing… Relaxing, eh?

So today…. Best Bits ahoy…

Yes, what will be the Best Bits of your day ahead?

*Arghh..gurgle…recoil…reel…* Ehem, let me collect myself. Can you spot my anxiety about the Stuff To Be Done? I enjoyed playing Best Bit across a day in which I went to visit my parents, and help out a bit… Most of it was spent in the car. I’d rented out my will to others, in a lovely, gentle way. It was nice to be helpful and involved. We sorted out family photos. What bliss. But a day where I am back to single-handedly steering the catamaran across the ocean… I almost fall over with anxiety. The list is so long. I am so resistant… PDA… Dodging bullets… Unanswered messages…

Stop there. It’s ok. It’s all ok. You are heard. It’s all ok. Be still, soft and gentle to yourself again. Take yourself in hand and reassure yourself. We shall make a plan. 

Breathe in…. out…. Yes please. I’m ready to move forward….

We’re looking at a longer term plan than this day or week. Is that ok?

If you think I’ll stick to it.

It’s going to be simple. It’s going to set you up for the best 2019 you could (or literally, ‘can’) dream of. It’s not about pressure. It’s about placing your Scrabble tiles on the Triple Word squares… Not out of greed, avarice, covetousness, dear soul. But out of expediency. 

Let’s revise that word…

Expediency: the quality or state of being suited to the end in view (Ref) 

Expedient: a means of achieving a particular end (Ref) 

Synonyms: advisability, advisableness, desirability, desirableness, expedience, judiciousness,prudence, wisdom 

Actions that are ‘suited to the end in view’. I like that.

What is ‘the end in view’ for you at the moment? 

A healthy, happy, helpful working life, I reckon. Yes, that’s what I want, to feel like my working life is ‘health, happy and helpful’. I like that. And I’ll know if it’s working for me and for others, because if it is, it will support me comfortably…

Hm… Why do I still retract internally (very subtly) at the prospect of ‘comfortably’ supporting myself? Please. Help me with this. It’s got to be healed. Why am I afraid to feel comfortable and safe?!

There’s a hesitancy to live fully and take your place on Earth. 

Why?

Karmic trails… 

How to heal them?

Trust. In this life you shall learn about ‘trust’. 

Hm. That’s for sure. What is the next step?

To trust that placing your tile on the Triple Word score square will not bring you down or decimate you, dear being of love. To trust that the universe truly does have your back. 

Like my [partner] does.

YES. 

Ty. So to act expediently means to act with the end in mind, or in view… maybe view is better, less foggy, more sensory. Ah, yes, ‘a state suited to the end in view’… ‘ a means of achieving a particular end.’ It’s ok to go for the healthy, happy, helpful worklife… It’s ok to go for the Triple Word score squares…

The game of Scrabble is precisely all about going for the Triple Word score squares. Dear heart, you can’t offer 3 point words, while withholding your Z, J and X, and hope to have a good feeling as you play. It’s no fun for your playing partner either. Trust that information. Now, pray, mediate, and then write the phrase for the day. You are loved. 

[MED – Glenn Harrold – Mindfulness for Releasing Anxiety – Insight Timer]

OK. That was lovely and clarifying. This is what I think:

The end in view: health, happy, helpful worklife, which supports me comfortably

The links in the chain between ‘here’ and the end in view:  to settle down with 12 Cherished Clients (my 12 Triple Word score squares – because they are big enough orgs to be repeat clients), with whom I build a trusting 2-way, long-term relationship, and can become part of their communities.

The expedient next steps towards the end in view:

1. to produce the materials I want the 12 Cherished Clients to keep on their wall for when they need me
2. to map out who the 12 Cherished Clients are, and what they need from me, and meet them
3. to plot my steps of connection with them (eg offering the lunchtime trainings)

Lovely. Excellent work. By when?

End of 2018.

Perfect. You’ll need a big piece of paper. 

Good. I shall get one.  Ty for this, dear part of me which knows and cares and takes care of me. I am learning to trust you and it all. Amen.

Today I am acting expediently, with the end in view

And ‘the end’ (goal) is a healthy, happy, helpful work-life, via 12 Cherished Clients (triple word score squares). All is well. 

Later:

The Scrabble analogy is so good. Look at how tightly we play now.

Here are the guidelines I think we play Scrabble by now:

1. Build on others’ letters as much as possible, rather than play a new word, because in making a longer word out of a shorter word, you reclaim their points too. You get more bang for your buck out of each letter tile you place. In other words: focus on building on the achievements of others (respectfully – ‘shoulders of giants’) and stop trying to show-off your unique individual prowess with something new and isolated.
2. Aim for the score-boosting squares as an absolute priority, rather than accidentally/inadvertently stumbling on them along the way. In other words: the landscape is laden with helpful stepping stones – hop on them gratefully!

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Meditation: 20 mins of MEDITATION? YES  Glenn Harrold – Mindfulness for Releasing Anxiety – Insight Timer – 23 mins

Exercise: ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? NO… none.. 🙁 Such a missed opportunity #STEPS : 500?

Diet: BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NEARLY DRY today? NO MORNING: Scrambled eggs; parsnip soup with an egg EVENING: cod, tomatoes, peas, a few chips

Sleep: IN BED WITH MY BOOKS BY 10pm? NO Screens off:    12.45am      Lights out: 12.45am Wake up the next day:       9am             Total sleep: awake a lot in the night with anxiety…

Oh man, I’m so pleased to have slept over 8 hours…. What a relief.

I love these changes we’ve made to the MEDS tracking format: a) the colour coding and b) the ‘non-negotiable’ targets. So simplifying and clarifying. I now need to arrange my day’s schedule around the targets, rather than ‘see what happens’ and write it down later.

Review – are the targets right?:

MED: 20 mins of Med – feels about right

EXERCISE: 1 hour of exercise – hm, well, if I were doing HIIT, 30 mins might be plenty. But I can’t at the moment because of the adrenal fatigue recovery phase, so actually this stands for now. Another good target is number of steps, but until I can get a new Fitbit I’m a bit vague on tracking daily steps, though my phone does a reasonable job so maybe I should add that in anyway for tracking? Yes.

DIET: I fell into Brain Maker without checking back in on GAPS or Adrenal Fatigue diets… but they are all in the same direction. The thing I like about Brain Maker is the emphasis on repopulating the gut with good bacteria. I seem to be prone to gut candida (fed by carbs/sugar), so a low carb, high fat, high pre/probiotic approach seems good. Need to make a copy of the summary sheet I made. Also, need to really compassionately decide to be dry in the week (Sunday pm to Friday pm) – maybe need to track that too? Yes.

SLEEP: Yes, THIS is the target! ‘In bed with my books by 10pm’ solves everything. The books are the antidote to screen,  and the books also include my planner for the next day. By 10pm, and I am hitting my natural melatonin window, which means that my cortisol regulation is encouraged for the next day. Eight hours sleep is pretty much guaranteed. So… will I commit to it? Will I leave evening activities at 9pm latest, to be in bed by 10pm? Let’s see!

What thoughts for today?

‘I am making progress’

I am! It feels like I’m pulling my energy back in, and placing focus gently where it’s needed. Doing this process here helps, somehow… It makes me more compassionate towards myself. Less likely to cast impossible targets at myself. To make this all really work, I need to make similar progress in my work field… so that I am not bringing a n y more stress to my door. 

What does such progress in your work field look like? 

It looks like… rhythm and regularity. Me setting the timetable – like a dentist schedules available appointments. Me clarifying my offering and it’s boundaries, as well as its areas of flexibility. Why do I not finish my brochure?

Why do you think? 

Perfectionism? Fear of failure? Fear of success?

‘Perfectionism’ is a good start. Work with that, knowing that…

‘Done is better than perfect’ – or whatever they say at Facebook HQ. And also that, any brochure will always be a work in progress. It’s hard to plan to hand it over for design and print…as if that sets it in stone.

How about developing a template, that you can fill in with different services or for different markets, and adjust as you go….

Yes. I like that. That would overcome the perfectionism…if I can settle on a template. Two A4 sides. Or four. Brainstormed on paper.

‘Each day, I am making progress towards my goal.’

Ty. Yes. I know that if I can simplify my work offering, it will be a good thing. It will allow me to do all that I want to do in life, be of service sustainably, and develop the health and wellbeing of body, mind and soul. Three afternoon cases a week. Breathe…

Today, I am making progress

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Meditation: 20 mins of MEDITATION? YES  So good to return to Kristin Neff, the queen of self-compassion. Listening to her audiobooks and meditations on long soulful walks in 2016 was so healing. Here on Insight Timer, her guided med reminds us to ask “May I be safe… peaceful… kind to myself… accepting of myself just as I am.” ?

Exercise: ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? NO! #STEPS : 1717

Diet: BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NEARLY DRY today? NO (half a cider) MORNING: My muesli, coffee with cream, snack box, pot of pea and ham soup EVENING: chicken, beans, sweet potato fries, apple juice and soda, cider

Sleep: IN BED WITH MY BOOKS BY 10pm? NO.. (choir night) Screens off:     11.20pm     Lights out: 11.30pm Wake up the next day:    7.30am                Total sleep: 8 hours! (again!) Yes!

Brain Maker trailer

Today I am simplifying my professional ‘value proposition’

I’ve set myself up a document on my Drive, called ‘MEDS Checklist 2018 + Notes’, to prepare for my new dietary protocol. It captures research on the various diets. I’ve also given myself a new box for the MEDS today. The aid-memoir colour-coding signifies the following (I’m so Aspie…):

• Blue-Sky Meditation
• Exercise in the Sunshine-Yellow 
• Leafy-Green Diet
• Stop-Sign Red for Sleep

Yesterday’s work on dopamine was so good. The realisation that dopamine comes from dropping the “I gotta” mindset, and shifting to “I wanna”. You have to follow your own bliss, not oblige someone else’s needs/wants/desires, to get the reward/achievement dopamine.

So, today. What do I want? I’ve had to spend the morning in bed with a sore throat and cold, but I will do my Daily PURR (Power-Up Rituals Routine – developed yesterday) next, and then do some work before I have a client meeting at 2pm. I started getting good momentum yesterday. I knocked through a lot. I want to continue that. What shall I bear in mind today?

Read a little of Reality Transurfing. It’s been a while. Good stimulus. 

Today it was a description of the ‘Transaction’ exercise. What stands out for me is the practice of simultaneously boosting our energy (turning the key), and gazing gently upon the goal (or ‘target slide’).

So there is wisdom in ‘powering up’ the energy pathways (as you do in qigong and walking) and ‘powering down’ the analysing part of the mind. 

I guess so. It’s the fact of calming the overactive mind, and settling the amygdala. While boosting the flow of energy through the body and meridians.

Do you have stuck energy in your meridians? 

Yes! I’m sure I do. I need to walk and move and sweat and swim more.

Ah. Ok. Like you used to do (in 2016) before….

…before I started over-complicating my working life again! I really need to simplify what I do, don’t I? Yesterday I was looking at the simplified business model canvas exercise we developed for some students we are teaching. I need, and want, to apply it to myself, and get clear about what my offering is, who it is for, and what value it provides: i.e. my value proposition.

Lovely. Would you like to do that today then? 

Yes. I would. Today I am simplifying my professional ‘value proposition’ – so that I can have freed up energy and time for self-care and health-creation and wellbeing…. so that I can be better at what I do professionally too.

Excellent. Time to Power-Up then. 🙂 

Well ok then I will. 🙂 Ty.

Today I am simplifying my professional ‘value proposition’

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Meditation: 10 min on Insight Timer – x 2 –  in morning and evening

Exercise: 10 min freestyle stretch/qigong/yoga with music from Insight Timer – x 2 –  in morning and evening

Diet: Coffee with cream. Brunch: cabbage, tinned tomatoes, cannellini beans, egg. Tea. Snack: carb cravings – 2 packs of crisps! Fizzy rhubarb drink (sugary!) Evening: roast chicken piece, fries, broccoli. Bit of ice cream. Lemony snicket. Half can of lager.

Sleep: Screens off: 11.30pm Lights out: 11.30pm Wake up the next day: 5.15am (with a cold, and needing to leave for a conf at 7am) Total sleep: Awake in the night too… 5 hours?   :///

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I did do my ‘value proposition’ statement last night – using the exercise we designed for the student training later this week. It was a great exercise. Now I need to translate it into text, and then the brochure. So help me, goodness.