Month: January 2021

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Create 10: I am the artist who clears the decks – and creates

I can’t express strongly enough the benefit of deploying ‘neuroceptive housekeeping’ (our phrase) for tending to my {need to feel competent}.

It has not been easy. I’ve got a lot on and I was in quite a state. But I’ve been gentler with myself again. And I’ve consciously laid my focus on where I am competent – I’ve trained and/or mediated and/or coached some 300 people in the last 10 days. Wow.

And I worked out: I need help with managing my bookings, emails, diary and ‘standard operating procedures’ [Ha! B.E.D.S.]. That’s not because I’m incompetent! It’s because I’ve competently built the business. That’s to be celebrated!

Yesterday I debuted my first solo Conflict Prevention and Resolution course, to a group of 80 trainee nannies. It went really well and I felt in my element with the Rosenburg/Ury-inspired material:

Click to access Preventing-Resolving-Conflict-Norland-Arabella-Tresilian-15Jan21.pdf

I talked about what I’ve been calling Needs-Based Communication – I hope Marshall Rosenberg doesn’t mind, but ‘nonviolent communication’ is such a hard phrase for people to swallow…

The fact of the matter is that Rosenberg is basically a spiritual giant. His two key questions are utter genius:

As is his take on Feelings & Needs:

As is his script for needs-based dialogue:

I created this concept/image too:

I’m so pleased with my new training. It’s the launch of my One Jam product for the SoD. I’m feeling very blessed. All is going well. <3

And so, I wanted to try using those two NVC questions for self-support and self-care today. It’s a Saturday so I have time to tend to my needs – to do more neuroceptive housekeeping.

Excellent. Let us help! 

Question 1: What is alive in you? 

Ty for asking. Still a gnawing sense of things stacked up. Emails, birthdays coming up, 50 Whatsapps to attend to.

But also, a desire to give myself time and space for rest and relaxation / rest and digest / parasympathetic stillness… so I can mobilise my connected/social self on Monday.

Excellent. So ‘what is alive in you’ is: you have ‘things stacked up’ on your to do list, and also you want to relax… and the two pulls are causing a tension. 

What need is not being fulfilled, and how is it making you feel? 

Need: From the list above, I’ll go with ‘Celebration of life and dreams fulfilled’

Feeling: Most present to me is Reluctant… and Confused, Disappointed, Frustrated….

Question 2: What would make life more wonderful? 

I guess it’s more neuroceptive housekeeping but with a view to Celebrating life and dreams fulfilled. Maybe I need a list of Weekend To Dos to get done; and then a list of Celebratory / Relaxing To Dos… though we are a bit limited here for options in week 2 of our third national lockdown in 10 months….

It’s feeling… a little… ‘to do-ey’. No? The ‘things stacked up’ is the key. Maybe your aim is more ‘Decksfast’ than powering through to-dos? 

Clear the Decks. Yes, I have missed my ‘Clear the Decks before breakfast’ (“Decksfast/Decksfest”) in the mornings because I’ve been delivering training every morning.

Remember your idea of BEDS above. 

Thank you….

Oh I know what it is! Decksfast is reactive. And I want time not just to ‘celebrate’ but to CREATE! That’s where I get the wellbeing buzz, isn’t it? That’s what makes life more wonderful!

Create > Consume! Active > Passive! Proactive > Reactive!

Boom. 

Shall we go in? [to present moment awareness within]

Why not? 

******15minMed with Insight Timer sensing the breath in the chest****

Well, that was interesting! Clear as day, I sensed/cognized/downloaded the next step for the SoD….!:

Today’s Creative Impulse: 

  1. Schedule two events as SoD: MHFA Half Day, and SoD ConRes (as above) 
  2. Create a SoD Eventbrite page for the events – the page will serve as a temp website for the SoD
  3. Use my own slides for soc/med content via Hootsuite, with each post linking through to the eventbrite page/events, for direct sales as donations on a sliding scale. (See Healing Space Eventbrite as inspiration.) 

Man, if/as I start running my own events… and use that to attain more cases… I really will be on my way. And I have SO much content to share… And wonderfully, we’ve worked out how I can hand some of the load of bespoke training work for Bath Mind over to the new trainer I introduced.

This is the missing link. The impulse I needed to get Hootsuite going – to have something to sell, directly… Not just speculatively selling my services. But selling tickets to my events, to develop the SoD brand and rep, and get new clients, and make direct sales. <3 And while G and I are developing the website, well Eventbrite can be my temporary website! And people can pay me there! And it can direct them to AT.com if they want more!

Feeling good? Feeling celebratory? Feeling the possibility and flavour of the ‘Celebration of life and dreams fulfilled’? 

Yes! And I feel inspired to ‘clear the decks’ of ‘things stacked up’ to be able to get this creative/proactive work done! My work! As the SoD. I’m happy. And with Deborah Maddison as my inspiration, I’m in the right kind of company. <3 She holds the vibe, the frequency, of love, so clearly and lightly and firmly.

May I hold the vision of those Eventbrite sales as a marker.. And my word, hasn’t EVERYTHING I’ve done over the last year – from ASWM webinars to embracing Zoom to throwing myself into developing training to abundant client work – hasn’t it all prepared me so beautifully and perfectly for This Moment?

It has indeed. You asked for Online Work and your One Jam Offering. You were heard! You had all that in your vortex, as Abraham would say, and you sat tight, listening daily, and trusting in what was happening… and guess what? You manifested your vision. And guess what? You always will. That is how creative consciousness works in all people. The trick, sweet soul, was to simplify/streamline your Vision, so you could hold it in mind longer than 17 seconds… Just wait until the Travel vision starts coming through. Ooh, baby! 

I’m so happy about this. I’ll simplify and streamline this. I can see the email subject:

 

From: Eventbrite <noreply@event.eventbrite.com>
Date:  xx March 2021
To: a***************@gmail.com
Subject: Your payout is on the way
Reply-To: noreply@eventbrite.com

Payout issued for

 

That’s how it’ll go, I guess. No hand-splashing. Keep it gentle. This will all be fine. <3 Any advice before I clear the decks for the creative work?

Gently does it. Remember, this is ‘neuroceptive housekeeping’ you are doing when you clear the decks, so embed those safety anchors, and do nothing in a tense or driven state. Check you are in the ventral vagal parasympathetic state at all times as you clear the decks in your Decksf@st mode. Teach yourself that the reactive work is no big deal. Be matter of fact. Lean into your accomplishment feelings after and celebrate work well done. And remember to stop when you have finished clearing the decks. Because you are clearing the decks to have a clear space and canvas for your creative work. Be the artist who cleans the studio to do work in. Not the artist who simply cleans the studio, again and again. Be the artist who creates. 

Beautiful. Amen. I call on all the creative forces of the universe to help me clean my studio so I can work my canvas in a conducive space. Let me be the artist who cleans the studio to do their work in. May I be the artist who clears and creates. Two separate activities, the latter now to become the primary activity. Amen.

I am the artist who clears the decks – and creates

https://www.minnetrista.net/bobrossexperience

PS. G is also an artist who clears the decks and creates, every day. He keeps life simplified and streamlined… and thereby CAN create, every day. Amen.

 

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Create 9: I am undertaking neuroceptive housekeeping (to feel competent, safe and connected to others)

Been awake since 3am. Mainly because I managed to attain a 750 calorie deficit yesterday as part of my weight loss goal… and then of course, woke up with hunger. Eventually got up at 4.45am feeling v stressed... Have since been reading about polyvagal theory, neuroception and interoception/autism.

Strong sense I need to tend to the ‘housekeeping’ of my neuroception, to be better able to access my intuition.

….I’ve just been looking for other images… and oh man, this…

And this…

And this …

_____

Thank you. This is all so helpful. It helps me to:

  • understand why I freeze – eg I’ve been ignoring emails (or at least, letting them build up bcs I can’t face them) since I returned to work after Christmas, 10 days ago.
  • understand why my kidney beans are feeling maxxed out again and again… bcs I don’t read the messages of overwhelm and readjust… or at least, I’m so often in overwhelm that I have to override it or I’d be out of work again…
  • understand why I loop around freeze/fawn..
  • understand why there’s no way I could be anything other than self-employed, to handle the flows and dips of my polyvagal self…

Ok. So how best can I foster my neuroception of safety, especially around work?

I lay awake this morning praying for courage, clarity and strength.

But actually, I’m thinking today, I just need a sense of safety.

Ooh, watch this!: 

I might buy this book:

Shall we dialogue?

I realise, re SoD, people need polyvagal safety state of connection to be able to dialogue. Catch 22. You need to talk to feel connected. But you need to feel connected to be able to talk.

So everything is heading in the right direction. Your ‘hemisphere house’ project is coming to fruition. 

Ha! It is. Using that brain learning… I didn’t know what for. But it was to help people dialogue, heal, forgive, resolve, relate… And the SoD will do all that. Amen.

Let’s go in… I’d like to hear you again. If we can link up the ‘intuition’ work with the ‘psychological/polyvagal safety’ work, we’re going to be cooking with gas… <3

***AOTH and 15min med***

Attaining the psychological safety of polyvagal ‘connection’ and ‘co-regulation’ with others (vs fleeing, freezing or fawning) seems, for me at the moment, to be about ‘feeling organised and prepared’ about client bookings. We’ve looked at this before last year, when I focussed briefly on the idea that ‘it ain’t square to prepare’.

It’s neuro-perceptual housekeeping, indeed. Your body needs to feel weighed comfortably in place by those ‘safety anchors’ Deb Dana talks about. It is for you – and you are now warmly invited – to discern and drop your safety anchors. Put in the ‘standard operating procedures’ that allow you to feel organised and prepped. 

I remember how at school I’d freeze about homework, which ironically we called ‘prep’ – and then how great, freed, liberated and confident I’d feel when I finally pushed through and got it all done.

It’s the anxiety of perfectionism that makes you delay and postpone. You know why. 

From the trauma of being criticised and judged for my academic ‘performance’…

So you can bring real, deep self-compassion to the part of you that PDAs. And you can enjoy developing the ‘art of befriending’ your autonomic nervous system, by dotting safety ‘anchors’ around your day. (See Deb Dana) Your threat perception is about being ‘caught out’ or ‘criticised’ or ‘told off’. We understand. This is all for the healing. 

Listening to your neuroception (unconscious sense of danger) is part of developing your interoception (awareness of body’s internal messages) which is all part of learning to listen to your intuition. 

You want your intuition to be giving you inspiration and creative impulses. It will be happy to! But it will also give you danger signals… which are equally signs that you need to attend to your own human needs… 

Allow yourself to tend to your Needs first, then your scope for creativity will flourish. Respond to neuroception affirmatively – not out of fear of shame/rejection/punishment – but consciously and compassionately, in order to meet your own human needs. 

What needs can you meet today? 

I have a need to meet my needs for:

  1. Focus
  2. Order
  3. Simplicity
  4. Competence
  5. Hope/reassurance

Excellent. Want to pick one to work with? 

Competence. I need to feel competent. That will allow me to ‘celebrate’ instead of to mourn, fawn, yawn or wanna be gawn. 🙂

So, to use NVC language: 

  1. Observe: You’ve got emails piling up and you don’t know where your multiple bookings are at. You lost your flow due to the Christmas break. But also, it was too busy before the break, and you’re daunted and discouraged at the prospect of jumping in at full speed again. Your new system of ‘creative / bookings / inbox’ has frozen you because it feels like too much. But if you’re just reactive, you get nothing done on developing the business. You resent reacting. You’re ready to create. 
  2. Feelings: daunted, discouraged, stressed, dismayed, freeze/fawny, resentful of clients
  3. Need: Competence… not just in responding to clients, but in managing your business and workflow. 
  4. Request of self/others: You would like… to get on top of your workflow again. To bullet proof your workflow, with new SOPs (standard operating procedures). You’d like to simplify and streamline your ops. 

Yes!

Shall we dedicate some time to that this morning, in the spirit of experimentation? Shall we see if improving your ops workflow increases your sense of both competence and psychological safety? 

Research question: Is there a way of making Workflow a ‘safety anchor’?

I think of G sorting out his emails each morning…. But it takes me so long…

Because of fawning/freezing..?

Yes. :/

The ‘other person’ is both ok and not ok there. The common factor is that you are ‘not ok’. Can we prioritise your sense of safety and connection, over all? Can we meet your need to feel, and be, and act, and embody ‘competent’?

We can certainly work with that.

I am undertaking neuroceptive housekeeping (to feel  competent, and therefore safe and connected to others)

PS. When undertaking neuroceptive housekeeping, prepare to feel resistance – this is simply freezey dorsal vagal activity. It will shift to sympathetic state (mobilise) and then to ventral vagal parasympathetic (enjoy and connect). Getting used to the constant shifting of those states is part of the practice. You are held and loved. In moving through the states, you are doing the work of healing and befriending your ANS. Keep your eyes on your human need – to be/feel COMPETENT. That is your birth right, sweet soul. 

Ty. xxx

Very gently, proving your competence to yourself, one small step at a time. Doing what you need to do to meet your human need to feel competent. Excellent, excellent work. <3

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Create 8: I am acting on intuition!

Let’s imagine your soul is the portion of you that acts as the connector between You and Infinite Intelligence. When you sit in the Present Moment, you have access to that part of your consciousness, all the more so when you still your mind, and quieten your thoughts and open your heart to the love around and within you. This is when ‘conscious communication’ happens. Unlike the mediums you’ve been watching in Surviving Death, your role here is not to ‘open’ to other souls’ consciousness, but to tap into to your own, on a very pure, transcendent level, without mental interruption. The result is what MB describes as ‘vibrational transmission’. What does this give you? A knowing. Over time, you trust the ‘creative impulses’ you receive in that knowing, more and more clearly. This is you ‘acting on intuition’, or ‘acting on creative impulse’ as you put it. For this to really work in your favour, and to give you the ‘celebration’ you seek, you’re going to need to practise this, pretty systematically. You will build trust in those ‘creative impulses’ as you act on them. As simple as that. 

Your soul has access to all kinds of support mechanisms which come into play the second you act on those creative impulses. Your feeling of disconnect comes from feeling you have to act on your mind‘s impulses first. Wrong. That is not the case. 

You are working with ‘human needs’ at the moment. We see that. 

Yes. NVC. “I feel … because I need …” Here…

Consider your need for conscious communication with your source. Well, switch to the right channel, and it’s there waiting for you. Alternatively, stay tuned into the World Service, and that’s what you get. Tune into Spirit FM and that’s what you get. You dismiss this latter transmission because it’s very, very quiet (especially compared to the blaring World Service) but it’s there. Vibrational transmission takes getting used to, and you only get used to it by practice. 

Consider the term ‘searchlight’. Imagine that your mind is sending out a searchlight for your soul’s consciousness, and that your soul’s consciousness is sending out a searchlight for your mind. When the two meet, you have tuned into the ‘channel’ you seek. Your job is to ‘execute’ the messages. Feels scary? You’ll get used to it. It’s nothing so ‘special’. It’s just a different way of living your life. And believe us, your body will thank you for it. You’ll work far more effectively with your autonomic nervous system. Just cross fade, dear soul. Cross fade into intuition-led living, and out of reactivity mode. Trust your intuition. And act on it. 

Ty. Ty. Ty. May I absorb all this. And may I learn to communicate clearly, and hear well.

I realised, I used to pray in pain. Since my emotional pain healed, I prayed less. Almost to nothing. Teach me to pray in the spirit of collaborative communication. For good. To pray without pain is a new adventure. Let me pray creatively. May I learn to learn with you.

BLESS LUCIA TODAY!

Amen.

I am acting on intuition!

 

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Create 7: I am leaning into the Present Moment #VibrationalAwareness

The question “What do I know?” threw me into the strangest state yesterday. I felt out of sorts, under the weather, low, exhausted, searching – incredibly tender-hearted. I seemed completely powerless to do all but the most ‘urgent’ work… and ended up going to bed before midday. I felt a strong urge to watch the new Netflix series about NDEs and mediumship, ‘Surviving Death’ – and ended up watching 3 x 3h episodes across the day. It was the only thing that gave me comfort. But more than comfort – complete peace. A sense of home. 

What shall I do? I’ve been enamoured with the knowing of the life beyond since I was 17/18.

You forgot how to communicate with it ‘consciously’. And that is what you are ‘missing’ and yearning for. 

I knew completely yesterday that this was the unspeakable Answer to my question “What do I know?”. I know of… the life beyond and yet closer to us than our life vein. I stopped ‘bothering’ it because I tended to get attached to outcome. 

Stop. You are mentalising. What does MB say? 

Ay yes..! ‘Neither the physical nor mental aspects of our human experience have the capacity to engage any question whose answer is only available as a vibrational transmission. Therefore unless we reactivate our capacity to interact directly with our vibrational essence, we remain blind to these answers even when they are close to use than the air we breathe. Only through consciously shedding our blindness do we initiate the journey of awakening leading us from living unconsciously toward a conscious conversation with the unspeakable.’ (Alchemy of the Heart, Michael Brown, p11-2)

That’s us, right? Help me make this clear and concrete. Grant me hope, power, internal energy for this work of creation on the physical plane. Push me out into the world, bravely, boldly.

Are you granting permission to the vibrational consciousness to interact with you? 

I am granting permission to the vibrational consciousness of the highest frequencies of peace, unity, love and light to interact with me, and to guide and teach and inspire and prompt and nourish and educate and inform and coach me.

I am requesting that the highest frequencies of PULL be channeled through me via vibrational transmission for the highest good of All. I am asking that I get clearer about these processes, and really start to use them for action. I am healed now. So now it is time to put these knowings in to active practice. May I be of Use on this Earth.

Your power to pray has returned. This is a Good Step. Use this space here to pray, to communicate, with the world unseen, and you will make the progress you long for. 

I am asking, Holy Spirit of Light, that you inspire me, here, now, today and every day. I am asking that you grant me a modicum of ‘forgetfulness of self’ so that I can step forward confidently to act in the service of the All.

I am also asking that you bless and protect my precious children. Especially, tomorrow, hold Lucia in your eternal Light during her operation. Bless her doctors and nurses. Protect her spirit and grant her the love of all Ages at every moment of her procedure. Let her be held in the healing Light of Raphael. Amen.

The bridge of your vibrational transmission starts here. You know where it goes. Lean in to the power of the present moment to inform you.  

And is there anything else you would have me know, do or say today?

Lean in to the present moment. That is where the good stuff lies. Keep alive to the present moment. That is where vibrational awareness is attained. 

And my #SomethingNew today? My #Today’sCreation? #MyCreativeImpulse?

Was that ‘publish NVC?. Idk. Show me today, please…?

I’m going to imagine Spirit, or a spirit team, watching over my shoulder as I write. I’m going to use this to communicate with you all. And I’m asking for your help and direction please. I am wanting to simplify my life and act as a channel for Source to this world. I want my practice to be … powerful and bullet-proof, to ME. I want to know I am hitting the mark of bringing PULL. In whatever is best. It doesn’t have to be through ‘spiritual’ means. In fact, that’s where my mediation work is so powerful to me. It’s spiritual work, but not dressed as such. (Just like the work of a doctor/nurse…). But let me know I am hitting the mark. Educate me. Work with me. Let me work with you.

We will meet you in the Present Moment. Find your vibrational awareness there in every moment. You’ll ‘read’ us better that way. And we’ll speak more clearly through and to you. 

Will do. See you in the Present Moment.

I am leaning into the Present Moment #VibrationalAwareness

 

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Create 6: I am asking, “What do I know?” #UnspeakableKnowing

Yesterday, I unveiled a really important Shadow word I am clearly holding around the concepts of PULL: “cheesy”.

This discovery is important, because for various reasons the word “Cheesy” powerfully invalidates most of what I hold most dear in my authentic self.

Cheesy =

  • ‘corny, trite, cliched’
  • embarrassing
  • ‘lacking style or good quality and slightly silly’
  • cringey

I need some help here. This has been the case for so many years. I remember cringing at the ‘Peacemakers’ class the local community ran for children. That’s still in me. Despite my deep passion for peace, for unity, for love, for light. It’s like… I never found the way to articulate this part of me beyond the Ba. community.

But when I got glimpses of … unconditional self-acceptance and a uniting with accumulating PULL yesterday… I felt so ‘resolved’, so settled, so peaceful in myself. It was beautiful

That was a lockdown Sunday – protected, safe, silent. How do I take these insights out into the world with me if I still think peace, unity, love and light are ‘cheesy’?

Let’s go in. 

***Read a page of AOTH and 7mins med***

I went into the word “cheesy” and saw it as meaning “false and worthless”.

Then a line from AOTH rose up to meet this quandary.

‘If we settle for mental concepts, it means we are satisfied with information, not knowledge. Information is thought-form that has only a mental component to it. Knowledge on the other hand, contains an integrated physical, mental and emotional component to it.. ‘ (Alchemy of the Heart p10)

I realised this: when I take my Knowledge out into the world as Information, it feels ‘cheesy’… because I am making it so by converting a resonance of meaning into mental concepts. As Brown says (p8) ‘When it comes to the realm of feeling, the mental body is impotent.’ He carries on to say that going through the portal of intimacy (into-me-and-see) is ‘entering a conversation with the unspeakable.’

The unspeakable. Yes! This is why talking about PULL seems ‘cheesy’ – because it can reduce the gloriously unspeakable to the speakable. It is the sound bites which are cringy, false and worthless… not the knowledge. 

So… I need to lead with knowledge?

Unconditional Self-Acceptance starts with owning one’s knowing. Ask, “What do I know?” and sit quietly with that question… for a lifetime. As Michael Brown says: “Knowing how to ask questions without answering them is the art of initiating revelation.” (AOTH p10)

‘Knowing’ sits in the heart, while Information sits in the Head, right?

Right. So, throughout today, ask “What do I know?” and sit with your Heart. You are not looking for information. You are looking for a vibrational resonance. You’ll know it. When you hit the vibrational resonance of your knowing, you’ll feel deeply settled. You won’t necessarily have ‘the answer’. That’s good. But you’ll now be in the correct state to make rational decisions that serve you, and all. 

Lovely. When I ask myself that question, “What do I know?” and just sit with the question, I start to feel… uplifted, noble, queenly, ancient, wise… like I’m a shaman on a hill gazing over the planes below.

It’s good to ask questions without seeking answers, isn’t it? 

Isn’t it?  😉

So the question must be asked in a certain way?

The question must be asked with humility and confidence in equal measure. You’ll know if you are asking the question without seeking information by the way you feel. If you are leaning in for info, you’ll sense that toppling forward. If you are dropping down into yourself for the vibrational resonance of ‘knowing’ – almost throwing away the question “What do I know?” as a rhetorical flourish – you’ll find yourself sitting in the right state. 

How about “What am I knowing?”

Stick with “What do I know?” and see what happens. Remember, this is also the practice of Unconditional Self-Acceptance, so undertake the exercise with a good handful of Love. This is about moving away from the rational, the judgemental, the pinned down and cornered. We are in the realms of the unspeakable. 

Amen.

I am asking, “What do I know?” #UnspeakableKnowing

 

——-

Day Notes:

Realisation: asking “What do I know?” is the polar opposite to “What do I think?”. Esp in terms of questions without answer… think -=> v answery.

What I think is ever fluctuating and reactive and temporal and temporary – and sometimes cliched, embarrassing and cheesy.

What I know is accumulative. (Non-cheesy)

 

 

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Create 5: I am accepting my own mission #AccumulatingPULL

TheWayofLiberationEbook by Adyashanti – extracts

  1. Clarify your aspiration: ‘To clarify your aspiration means knowing exactly what it is that your spiritual life aspires to, not as a future goal but in each moment.’

  2.  Unconditional follow-through: ‘…be fully present, sincere, and committed now, with absolute honesty and a willingness to uncover and let go of any illusion that comes between you and the realization of Reality.’

  3. Never abdicate your authority: ‘This means that you take full responsibility for your life and never forfeit it over to someone else. There is no such thing as riding the coattails of an enlightened being to enlightenment itself.’
  4. Practice absolute sincerity: ‘Sincerity encompasses the qualities of honesty, genuineness, and integrity. To be sincere does not mean to be perfect…

    In order to be sincere you must let go of being judgmental toward yourself.’

  5. Be a good steward to you life: ‘Your life, all of your life, is your path to awakening… Pay attention to what life is trying to reveal to you. Say yes to its fierce, ruthless, and loving grace.’

I think I know what my aspirations are – what I came to call P.U.L.L.: Peace, Unity, Love and Light. Honestly, with PULL in our lives, and PULL on the planet, and PULL in our relationships… we are all Home.

Yesterday, I finished my NVC infographic on the flipchart. Marshal Rosenberg blows me away with his deep insight into what makes us tick – and it’s all based on Human Needs.

Look at these as examples. Imagine, just imagine what our lives would be like if we all acknowledged that Humans need these things, and made the acts of fulfilling and meeting these needs the foundation of our personal responsibility and interpersonal relationships:

And I so much prefer the NVC model of ‘universal human needs’ to Maslow’s triangle. Maslow’s triangle makes it look like anything above basic safety and protection is a ‘nice to have’… and those of us (ie most of us), brought up to think that meeting our needs was extraneous or selfish, can be prone to discounting our right to the upper levels.

Rosenberg says, when our needs aren’t met (and we don’t believe we can ask to get our needs met), we get depressed. AMEN.

***15minMED***

Today’s Creative Impulse: Daily use of Hootsuite across 4 School of Dialogue social media channels, to share conflict resolution content that would help my clients, past, present and future. 

And yet… I feel sick at the thought of it.

‘Your life, all of your life, is your path to awakening. By resisting or not dealing with its challenges, you stay asleep to Reality. Pay attention to what life is trying to reveal to you. Say yes to its fierce, ruthless, and loving grace.’ [Oops, accidentally pasted this instead of selecting bold!]

Ok. What is all this trying to tell me.

It’s about shining your light. Your light is the spark of the creator within you. The ‘fierce, ruthless, loving grace’ of your Reality is that you have much to share. To gift. 

I don’t want to preach, force, vaunt.

Then INVITE. HOLD tight to the idea of PULL, and extend an invitation. Think compassionately of all those who are experiencing the polar opposite of PULL – eg Torment, Separation, Fear and Darkness – at this moment… 

Would you let your self-consciousness keep them there a second longer than necessary, if you can share some ideas that you found helpful in getting out of Torment, Separation, Fear and Darkness? Do you think that your journey out of depression was just a blip before the real work began? That was your apprenticeship. 

How do I orientate myself though?

Go back to the Needs Lists above. There is a Need there (or two) which you do not believe applies to you, and therefore you do not feel able to move to meet that need. In fact, the thought of doing so makes you feel sick. 

Ok the ones that both attract me and make me feel icky are:

  • contribution to the enrichment of life
  • purpose
  • simplicity ease
  • appreciation
  • to be seen and heard
  • understanding

Ok, so in sum, it’s a need NOT TO BE JUDGED when I stick my neck out creatively according to who I really am.

So would that be a need for ‘acceptance’? 

Yes.

Beautiful. And how to you feel when your need for acceptance is not met? 

I feel powerless, because I get stuck in a cycle of creative expression and self-silencing. It’s a catch 22 because I daren’t share of myself for fear of rejection or non-acceptance.

So let’s use the full NVC process. You’re saying that: 

  • [OBSERVATION] You note that you resist sharing your creative expression eg on social media or with a potential ‘audience’ because you are afraid of rejection
  • [FEELINGS] You feel powerless and stuck because…
  • [NEEDS] Your (universal human) need for Acceptance is not being met, and yet nor is your need for Creative Expression. Therefore…
  • [REQUEST] You would like…?

I would like to work on meeting this need for Acceptance in a different way.

I have a strong sense it starts with Self-Acceptance.

Is that right?

Self-acceptance, self-approval, self-validation… offering ourselves these gifts allows the Aspiration to be achieved more smoothly. It’s hard if we are relying on others for acceptance, approval and validation. 

As Adyashanti says above: ‘In order to be sincere you must let go of being judgmental toward yourself.’

How do I do this work then?

What do you think? 

Maybe if I can validate the underlying aspiration of PULL in my mind, then the activities around sharing PULL will seem less controversial or ‘extra’ to me.

I think of how my girls lean into creative expression every time their Aspirations for change/awareness become clear and vivid to them. And my, the light they shine is beautiful.

Excellent. Yes. The focus is on the mission, not the medium. 

Oof. Love it.

The aspiration, not the artist. The content, not the creator.

If you are in love with the mission, you love to serve that mission by acting as a channel for it – along with all the others serving the same mission as you. You get a sense of the collective action, rather than of yourself as a solitary being. 

How much are you in love with your aspiration, ‘PULL’? Do you truly value it, or are you a little embarrassed of it? 

These are good questions.

May my love of PULL embrace me, and I it, so we become intertwined, and I can be forgetful of me, and act as a remembrance of all that is peaceful, unified, loving and light. May this become my guiding protocol for every day. May I bask in the joy of accumulating ‘present moment awareness’ because that truly is the Source point of PULL. May I gently, tenderly and with discernment not judgement, close an eye to all that is not of PULL… and open my heart to all that is of PULL. Holy angels of the highest realms, assist me to open my heart to peace, unity, love and light, this day and every day. May I ACCEPT myself as a follower and fan of PULL. May I accept all beings however they present themselves to me. May I meet my own need for ACCEPTANCE as a PULL fan. And may I embody these qualities with my full consciousness, here, now and always. May I accept my own mission to accumulate present moment awareness that I may better accumulate and radiate PULL.  Amen.

I am accepting my own mission #AccumulatingPULL

_______

 

Accumulating PMA =>

Accumulating PULL

 

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Create 4: I am gifting my creations 

Thank you for my Book of Creative DARMA and for my ‘Today’s Creations’ bedside notebook and phone photo album. I am loving the emphasis on CREATION. It is calming, centring, fulfilling and reassuring to be centre-staging creativity. I realise I’d seen creativity as a luxury to be dabbled in after everyone else had been reacted/responded to. What a GIFT to be consciously, gently, flipping that paradigm.

Let’s go and read and meditate and come back with Today’s Creative Impulse.

Whatcha reading? 

You’re kind of Texan this week in my head! Well, funny you should ask. The next Michael Brown book, Alchemy of the Heart, arrived yesterday. So I’m starting that this morning. But this Project is light on accompanying text right? So this book will just be background inspiration. That said..! Yesterday I did the Qigong Five Element Personality test and came out as a strong FIRE. And what is the organ associated with FIRE? The heart. So this feels all just right. The FIRE personality is enthusiastic and emotional. If I can temper my heart’s FIRE, and channel its energy, that will be really good for me in terms of balance and inner battery power. And I guess the term for that kind of tempering and transformation  is ‘alchemy’. So, AMEN to this book. Ty MB!

***Reading AOTH and 10mins entering PMA (present moment awreness) for breathing practice with Insight Timer in the background. (Meditation music and chimes every minute.) ***

Today’s Creative Impulse: To finish up the Presence Project (add the illustrations I did in my notebook + write the intro/welcome) and send it to MB with a thank you letter, for seeing me through 2020. 

Ok so. Let’s talk about this kind of Creative Impulse…

That could make you weep, or run away? 

Yes. Exactly.

That makes you feel like you are giving and yet taking? 

Yes. I feel like I’d be forcing myself on him, and seeking his approval, attention… and action? And that I’d be sad, rejected and dismayed if I didn’t get those reactions! It’s really the worst combo…

Let’s pause here. And we can discuss this exact, wonderful conundrum tomorrow. 

***Next Day – rather late – I slept in! But nonetheless shall keep to the Daily Pattern***

Do you know that authors love to receive signs from their readers that their work has moved them profoundly, and been useful? We all want to be useful, right? None more so than authors who have taken their heart’s most perfect peacock feathers and put them on display as a gift to the world. 

One of the most important things for you to realise is that creations are merely gifts. They are not bartering tools for love, attention, rewards, awards or approval – although they may attract all those very very things! Creations are gifts. We live to be able to give and receive the gifts of creation in order to serve the divine purpose of Creation…. which is the glorious expansion of consciousness through the imagination and actions of human beings. What purpose is there for the magnificent creative Mind if not to create ‘something new’? 

I guess the Mind sometimes gets sidetracked into ‘protecting’ us from danger.

Absolutely. Go back to your polyvagal theory and see how system 1 (Social Mobilisation) is creative, whereas system 2/3 (F&F, and Freeze) has much less scope for creativity.

[Weirdly… the apps swapped on the desktop and the The Way of Liberation pdf popped up…]

May we suggest that tomorrow you return to Adyashanti’s text for some background guidance here? 

Yes.

And for today, work with this concept: You are invited to explore ‘gifting’ your creations, using Marshal Rosenberg’s distinction re. stating our needs to others as if we were bringing them a gift. He says to bring a ‘Santa Claus Attitude’ (“Hohoho, I have a gift for you!”), not a ‘Kick-Me Attitude’ (“Ergh, I’m so sorry..!”). Consider the difference it will make to your willingness to hand things over, and let them go…. however they are in their final state. 

I can take inspiration from my beloved Mum here – she just gave and gave and gave her photography. People saw themselves through her eyes, loved and joyous and beautiful. What a gift! No wonder people loved her!

I am gifting my creations 

PS. Creative Impulse 2: Buy a collapsable box/footrest I can put my legs on (my hip is hurting from always sitting on the sofa with crossed legs because my legs don’t reach the floor) and I can put my QT materials in (because the space by the wall is so cold it drains the laptop battery).

 

 

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Create 3: I am creating my own daily pattern (softly) 

Good morning. Well, I just read thorough yesterday’s session, and acted on that creative impulse I had yesterday, to add a Creative Hour to my daily pattern. I’ve now added it as a repeat event at 10am on my calendar. I’m really pleased. This will mean that I can actually ring-fence time to ‘act on the creative impulses’ within the Create Project – whether or not they are ‘work-related’. Also, it’s a way to start the day (or afternoon when I’m training in the morning) that takes the pressure off. I’d been feeling ‘pressure’ this morning, as I return to work.

Oh and…. yesterday, I did flex my creative muscle, but I didn’t get to do the NVC flipchart or the Mum ‘altar’. So I’ll do that in my creative hour today.

It’s good to be less reactive and more proactive. Also I realise, if I actually allocate enough time to do what I need to do to be sane and well, I only have three hours a day to sell, or use for client prep…! 

Here’s my new daily pattern for 2021:

  • 7am QT Hour
  • 8am Body Hour (Fitbit / Qigong  /Shower and Dress by 9am)
  • 9am Desk + Breakfast (Deskfast Hour)
  • 10am Creative Hour
  • 11am Bookings Management  / Enquiries Hour
  • 12pm Lunch and 60 min Walk/Talk
  • 2pm THREE HOURS for BOOKINGS or CLIENT PREP (or swap for 10am-1pm)
  • 5pm Standing Zero Inbox Hour
  • 6pm Home Hour (clean / cook / laundry / calls)
  • 7pm Supper Hour + Relax
  • 9pm Clear kitchen and get into bed by 10pm
  • 10pm Read and lights off

Let’s go in, even though briefly

***7minMed***

So I realise today’s creative impulse is about ‘creating the daily pattern‘. I sensed myself in a boat floating down a river. The riverbanks were the protective boundaries of the schedule. I simply had to watch out for ‘drifting‘ – which I interpreted as those instances when I get carried away with an activity, and let myself run over time. But it was also about being in a state where I drift into obliging others’ expectations, rather than meeting my own – to use the language of the four tendencies.

Excellent. ‘Drifting’ is such a helpful word to bear in mind. If you can keep your eyes on the river ahead, you’ll spot yourself drifting way ahead of any problems, and will easily be able to course correct. 

Yes. I think life will be more fun as I take hold of my time, for me and my purposes. I have a big aim for this year: to shift from many little pots of jam of many flavours, to One Jam. This will need monk-like respect for my own schedule and deployment of time and energy.

Yet, also it will require immense inner softness. Only in softness do we remain ‘not too attached’ to any activity we are currently attending to. We know we’ll return to it tomorrow, after all. We allow ourselves to let go of one activity, and more serenely to the next. 

Speaking of which… 🙂 Time for the next Hour.

I am creating my own daily pattern (softly) 

 

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Create 2: I am exercising my creative muscle

Howditgo?!

It went well… thank you! So, I did start the NVC infographic on the flipchart, though indoors rather than out, as the chilly sunshine had turned to actual snow by the time I was ready to begin. I spent maybe an hour on it, v happy, v in the zone, getting about a third of the way round the flipchart paper. Then G. came for a chat, and then Ana came and joined me, and she and I sat and chatted on the sofa for a good hour and a half. My NVC infographic, even though incomplete, sparked off such a wonderful conversation with Ana about difficult conversations and expressing needs. We looked too at Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies and found Ana was a ‘Rebel’ which gave us lots more to discuss and explore. Then she told me about her plans for her upcoming dissertation. She goes back to university today so the conversation, and the time together and the open, rolling conversation was so incredibly precious.

And how did/do you feel about not having completed the flipchart? 

Ha! Initially in my conversation with G. and Ana I noticed a part of myself tugging to ‘complete the project’. I softly put that part of me to rest, pointing out to it that, even half done, the creative project was serving its purpose! To communicate, to connect, to inspire dialogue! It was a good lesson.

And today? It’s the last day of my Christmas hols too, with work back on tomorrow (Monday). I’m a little anxious the project won’t get done. I think the learning is:

  • Remember bit by bit is fine for creative projects – just keep coming back – like to a painting with fresh eyes
  • Getting back to the project is a bit like ‘getting on the mat’ – the more you do it the more you know you can
  • I’m inclined to create a daily ‘Creative Hour’ like I have created this ‘Quiet Time Hour’ and the ‘Body Hour’ (FitBit, qigong, shower and dress) and a ‘Zero Inbox Hour’ (5pm each day) and a ‘Walk & Talk Hour’ at lunchtime each day…

Today in my 15min Med I had a v sweet Creative Impulse…

Today’s Creative Impulse:

To make my beautiful late Mum the ‘patron saint’ of the Create Project.

Why? Because, my goodness, as a photographer, she was SO creative, so productive – constantly clicking, developing (or later photoshopping and printing) and SHARING her work with others (including via the local paper as a photo journalist for years). Her work brought so much joy to others. And she didn’t hesitate or quibble about how her work would be received (well, a little bit for formal portraits and wedding photos!) – but largely, she just kept on – kept on – completing the creation and moving on to the next one. Day after day after day. <3

[PS. Patron saint is tongue in cheek because she was v modest, and also v witty and fun so it’s a light-hearted touch she would enjoy I think…. but also, in all truth, she was flipping saintly. Furthermore, patron saints look over, inspire, and support certain allocated activities – and I would like to invite Mum to give some of her loving off-world support to this on-world project. Amen and thank you, dear Mum.]

Also, I’d like to have a sense of who I’m talking to in my social media – a friendly audience – maybe I can just talk to her?

So, I’ve just received two wonderful canvases I ordered of Mum as a young woman. I’m going to put them up as a centrepiece [‘altar’ is a bit much?] in the office.

Any other thoughts today?

Dig deep into your heart in these days. We see your pain about NST and your bubbling dread about going back to work. Lean into your FUTURE vision: ONE JAM. It will work. You will also be able to bring others in to deliver H2D. Your thoughts about future revenue are spot on too. Hold the vision and keep exercising your creative muscle – and the twain shall combine before you know it. 

Thank you so much. I needed to hear that. I do believe this Creative work will be a game-changer for me.

Indeed. 

Mum exercised her creative muscle daily, didn’t she?

She most certainly did – with endless, boundless joy. Remember her motto: “It’s got to be fun!”

Yes! Excellent. Thank you! So running with the muscle exercising metaphor – we’re talking about more Mr Motivator, and less young Arnold Schwarzenegger. Got it.

Let’s go create! 

I am exercising my creative muscle

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Create 1: I am a creator

Good Morning.

Good morning! 

It is good to be here, with you.

And also with you. 

A new year. A new project. On creation, creating, creativity, creatability… I’m excited and grateful.

Thank you for the Presence Project. It was beautiful. I learnt so very much.

I am sensing that this project shall have no accompanying text. Is that right? (There was a clear message that this project is guided by a principle of Create>Consume)

Yes. 

While I may still dip into books for inspiration and to settle in to the resonance required for these Dialogues. Right?

Indeed. 

At the end of the Presence Project, in the last Dialogues of 2020, we established how this Create project might go – using a protocol we called:

Creative D.A.R.M.A.

  1. Download creative impulses whilst accumulating ‘present moment awareness’ (Michael Brown’s term from The Presence Process, eg via a 15min conscious connected breathing practice.)
  2. Act upon them (within 24h, if it feels right)
  3. Record outcomes and Reflect upon them
  4. Mention the outcomes (though not their source) to another person, to anchor the new creation in the world (and have them seen/witnessed, rather than hidden, I guess)
  5. Appreciate – and affirm to oneself – the source of the outcomes – to build confidence that ACTING upon our CREATIVE IMPULSES is a Good Thing. 

And the idea is to see what happens when we ‘Create Something New’ each day.

I’ve got 2 notebooks and 1 photo album for this project: 

  1. One notebook next to me here for the mornings – the Book of Creative D.A.R.M.A.
  2. and one notebook next to my bed called Today’s Creation to note down the #SomethingNew I created that day.
  3. I’ll also photograph each Daily Creation and put it in a special album on my phone at the end of the day.  

It’s a top and tail approach to the day, to keep consciousness of the ‘Create’ theme burbling through my days, and to assist in ‘creating something new’ becoming embedded as a ‘habit’.

In sum, my intention for 2021 [Google doc here] is to #CreateSomethingNewEachDay, and the Create Project will hold space and structure to nurture this new muscle. 

It’s not just about exploring the ‘creative Source’ within us all, it’s also about laying to rest old paradigms of reactivity, perfectionism and overstimulation.

I have had experiences of the wonders of creative expression, and I want to embed such wonder in my daily life, as an act of sovereignty, self-care and self-love.

Let’s go in and accumulate some present moment awareness…

***15minBreathingMedwithInsightTimer***

Today’s Creative Impulse: (it was clear image in my mind’s eye!)

  • Take the flipchart outside (it’s bright and sunny though 2 degrees!)
  • Re-listen to the NVC audio programme I’ve been listening to this week
  • Create an NVC infographic on the flipchart
  • Share it to the SoD instagram

Ok! I can do that! Would you like to speak to this a little?

You’ve been wrestling with a difficult conversation you need to have. You want to be kind and exemplify the traits of the mediator you are. This will be helpful. 

Thank you. Yes, I sense that. I hope to follow it up with a phone call. And then do all my Christmas thank yous and greetings – answering all the messages.

Does it feel good to start the day with the Creative instead of the Reactive?

Yes!! Yesterday, new year’s day, I created my first #SomethingNew – a 2021 colour-coded wall calendar. It took me an hour or so, spread out over the sitting room floor with stickers and pens. And afterwards, I felt such wellbeing. Such a sense of fulfilment, satisfaction and optimism! Maybe if we create enough, the reactive work is easier because our reservoirs are full.

‘Our reservoirs are full’ is exactly the phrase. Creativity draws down source energy into our being… and allows it to flow out to the seen, physical world. This enlivens us. 

Like art therapy. Or gardening.

Yes, some people think these activities are mere ‘distractions’ for addled brains. Far from it. To create is to return to our very own Source. How you live without active creation is beyond us. 

Tbh, I think it’s beyond us too. Our epidemic of mental ill-health could well correlate with the degree to which we minimise and disenfranchise our creative spirits. And so…

Buckle up, buttercup! You’re in for a ride, not least because you will be creating New Things, but because this will bring you face to face with all the elements of you that would deny your creative spirit. Exciting, huh?!

Haha! Sure thing! Well, let’s do this. Am I or am I not a creator of my own reality?!

You most certainly are. Let’s go create! 

I am a creator

 

PS. Remember: work softly with any resistance which arises. Working with the ‘resistance to our creativity’ is where the good stuff lies, because that uncomfortable ‘resistance’ is simply an invitation to embody greater self-compassion, self-love, self-care. Learn to interpret that discomfort as just such an invitation – and act accordingly – and you’ll be on your way to a whole new way of life. <3