I am grateful for yesterday’s….
- Development of this site… as a resource for exploring, learning about and teaching ‘peace through dialogue’ – the plunge begins, gently, softly.
- A mini-Download Hour – even 10:10:10 is so good! It’s the habit of getting up and out – the trot raises my heart rate to peak for a minute or so and that is such a kick start.
- A new mediation case beginning successfully (initial meeting), and meeting a new co-mediator – such inspiring conversations with her.
- Getting a new professional brochure drafted up – and reviewing the work of 2018 – amazing to look back!
- Finding, gulp, I was featured in a national newspaper in Nov – an account of my mental health recovery and autism. We’re truly out there.
- Shortness of sleep (!) – my new FitBit is showing me my patterns very starkly…! NB When I sleep little I put on weight – sleeping is slimming for me! (Catching incentives where you find them…)
Yesterday, listening softly to the whisperings of my heart was so moving. Funnily enough, it wasn’t so much that which was heard (though that was so beautiful, and wise), but the motion of softening to listen. Oh my goodness – how often I steel myself (from my heart outwards) to take the smallest action!! Every time I softened to lean in and listen, I got a bit wiser…! I realised that, by typically steeling my heart in order to do the smallest thing (write an email, go from room to room, meet people, talk to people…), I am by definition cutting myself off from the small, soft voice of wisdom, just when I need it most.
For example, I met an old colleague for a coffee yesterday. Mindful of the day’s theme, I decided to keep my heart (chest, inner state…) soft. I gently countered each habitual impulse to rally, over-exert, over-communicate, jazzhand, assure-him-of-my-enthusiastic-listening… The change in the quality of the conversation was extraordinary. I felt we actually communed. And guess what? I didn’t feel exhausted after the time together, as I usually would.
The same with the mediation meeting, and with debriefing with my co-mediator. And in feedback, my co-mediator mentioned that I had been a very calm, grounded presence. This is all so new, so subtle, such a discovery!
I had EXHAUSTED myself over the years! It’s the ‘girding the heart’ action that did it. Why could I not see it?!
And again, softly…
Ha! Yes… I keep running away from the oxygen tank and getting yanked back by the tube…
Softly… So… How can you cultivate this new ‘soft-heartedness’ today?
By maintaining consciousness of it? Ho-hum, I can feel the ‘clench’ setting in for the day already! How have I put up with this for so long?!
Ask the Heart…
Why did I make you clench every day, in order to get things done, dear Heart?
Heart: To protect yourself from my disappointing voice!
Excuse me?
Heart: Your Mind wanted you to be driven by power, excitement, drive, determination. But I as your Heart have more-or-less but one message, and it contravenes the agenda of your (somewhat frightened, scarcity-orientated) Mind: “Gently does it…”
Ah, and I ‘thought’ that if I take a ‘gently does it’ approach, nothing would get done…
Heart: And that you would sink without trace.
So I kept paddling.
Heart: You didn’t know that I was offering you a life-jacket, in which you could lie back and float comfortably in the water…
I kind of heard you, but I didn’t trust you. But you were patient, eh?
Heart: And my, weren’t you resistant? 🙂
So this clenching business I do. What does it feel like to you?
Heart: Like you’re putting your hand over my mouth, and yet shoving me forward, like a hostage-taker.
Eek. And yesterday, when I went softly, and I prioritised listening to you, and keeping the channel of communication open, how did it feel to you?
Heart: Like breathing again.
Aha. Ok. I’m sorry for the suffocation.
Heart: S’ok, pal!
So, today, I am going to seek to practice, maintain and learn about that soft-hearted state – and continue to reflect, softly, softly, on what happens when my day is based around keeping an ear out for your small, soft, wise, genius, kind voice.
Heart: Don’t forget, I am here for you.
Thank you! I will look to learn about what that means. Please teach me.
Soft blessings to all today. May the world enjoy more peace than ever before.
Heart: Soft-Heartedness suits you.
Thanks. 🙂 You too…
Remember today: “Gently does it…”
Today I am soft-hearted. (“Gently does it.”)
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| MEDS Trackers Dec2018 (chart here): | |
| Med&Ex: Download Hour – Med | Aerobic | Qigong | Nope… |
| Diet: Chopchopchop – mindful, plant-based food | Little bit |
| Sleep: Sleepstate: 9Screens, 10Books | Nope… |
| Med minutes | 10 |
| Active minutes | 40 |
| Steps | 7000 |
| Food: veg and then potato delights! | |
| Dry? | No |
| Screens off | 12 |
| In bed (with books..) | 12 |
| Hours slept (as per next morning) | 7 |
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