Ok, as you’ll have seen from my postscript yesterday, that was a really messy task. I couldn’t get to grips with it at all, and it simply seemed to expose how utterly judgey, critical, blamey and cross I can be… I didn’t know how to perform the switching exercise. I just got into a 3D fug. What happened?!
You discovered yesterday that you were somewhat ‘over-invested’ in the world around you. You have invested yourself in the world around you in order that it should make you happy and content. That is not the role of the outside world.
Should you invest a little more in your inside state, and in your internal connection with your higher self, and in the truth speaking fluidly inside of you… you will experience much less dissatisfaction and disillusion with the outside world. You will become a self-sufficient satisfaction system.
Ha! I love that.
You love alliterations.
I do! (:-D) I do remember that in previous years, when conditions were really, really tough, I did develop that inner happiness that was not conditional upon external circumstances.
Tough times are great teachers. Those who can take such learnt lessons forward in to times of plenty are learning some important skills. Nothing is wasted.
This morning I opened my book (Kumara 2019, p186) and ‘gnosis’ was mentioned. It seems to me that I was taking a rather brain-intellect based approach yesterday….
Stepping out of the flow of people and into the flow of your own inner knowledge is exactly what we are talking about. Finding ways to access inner knowing, and living by it, is why we are here. This is the ‘peak’ experience, dear soul. Can you connect again with the inner knowledge ‘on the hoof’, ‘as you go’? Can you become the watcher of the world, and the listener of the inside state?
I figure I need to regroup in myself (invest in myself?) to be less invested in the world? I need not to be ‘shocked’ and ‘dismayed’ when the world is complex, imperfect and tricksy. I need to build up inner margins so the funny, funky figures and experiences don’t knock me over.
Being kind to self and other is key. How kind can you be? How compassionately can you read your moment? How diligently can you be in the practice of resting your gaze upon the world in the spirit of deep, absorbing love?
I need to get in to the monastery a bit more. I need to pull myself in a little. I dispersed myself too much, hoping that scattering the seeds of my love would bring love back to me.
‘Happiness is an inside job.’ (Louise Hay said.) Maybe it’s time for a little less thinking, and a little more sensing? That’s how we ‘get inside ourselves’ more thoroughly.
A tiny voice in me said, ‘I don’t want to go inside and sense’. Are we back here? Not wanting to feel the feels?
When we go inside we get access to two things:
- All the disowned emotion and feeling that we stuck down there out of the way – and you know what to do with that. Feel it out. Shadow work it. Love it compassionately. Ask what its messaging is.
- New information. This aspect you can really enjoy and relish. (You’re doing so now.) This is what is meant by gnosis, which of course your dear cousin was an authority and scholar on. It’s not new to you. What’s new to you is the idea that you can lead your life by the information which comes through to you via gnosis.
Leading your life by the information gleaned via gnosis feels ‘out of your comfort zone’ to you, because your intellect/mind has always claimed to be the wise, sensible one which will keep you safe (and it’s insisted that the intuitive side of you is not to be relied upon).
Gnosis means ‘knowledge’ or ‘knowing’. Or as Kumara says, ‘insightful spiritual knowledge’. It’s personal, inner knowing, as opposed to intellectual knowing. It’s the difference between ‘conosco’ and ‘saber’ in Spanish. And it’s actually slightly more concrete that ‘intuition’ because it’s based on personal experience and a lived life, whereas intuition is farther along the ‘hunch’ spectrum.
Yesterday your intellectual faculties told you that you were: unsightly, crowded out, overwhelmed, being spoken at, suffering others’ bodily functions. Your gnostic faculties, on the other hand, might have said (and did), ‘You need a bit of time alone to replenish.’ Your gnostic faculties are highly developed. You just need to tune into them more frequently, more deliberately and with the intention to act upon what you sense.
That’s really helpful. It makes sense. And yes, I can see how just tuning in and acting, without introducing quibbling intellectual considerations, might streamline my decision-making, ease my heart and generally simplify life. Let me work with this a bit.
I am tuning into my gnostic faculties