Peak 39: I am the conjuror conjuring

“I am the completer completing…. Appreciations. It is complete.”:

  • Breakfast preparation
  • Morning meditation
  • My morning writing
  • My shower
  • My journey to work
  • My lunch
  • My afternoon training session….

The strong thought ‘I am a completer completing’ gave me internal mission blaze yesterday.  I thought about that book on… let me look it up… Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill – the nub of the book was, the self-sabotaging part of our psyche promotes drifting, whereas definiteness of purpose sets us on a whole alternative path (paradigm, timeline).  I sensed yesterday that being a ‘completer completing’ SIMPLIFIES life too. The target is defined; all energy and action is geared only towards meeting that target. A bit like Villanelle on an assassin mission, but benign. Me, I’ve been too easily distracted…

Your work with the Compassionate Mind Workbook is giving you a softer view of yourself actually. It has revealed:

  • life experiences which created…
  • internal and external fears in you (eg judgement by others, criticism, shame, impatience), which spawned…
  • protective/safety strategies (including shoving yourself, hesitation, over-deliberation, paralysis of action), which caused…
  • unintended consequences (largely, making the self invisible and exhausted by wheel-spinning).

Now, dear soul of your own heart, you are learning to make yourself visible – not for the purposes of jazz-handing, but for the purposes of claiming your own space in the world and recouping energy. It is time. Your time. 

Thank you so much. I appreciate that. The Completer Completing can get things done, even with incoming distractions and difficulties.

Absolutely. Part of the ‘game’ is deftly batting away those incoming ‘aliens’ and ‘space invaders’ as you complete your mission. Just like an old-fashioned Atari game. 

I like that. I think, in my fearfulness / politeness / obligingness, I’ve been prone to having my head turned my every incoming space invader. In the end, overwhelmed by endless reacting, I shrink back and avoid everything…

To be fair to you, rarely now do your avoid everything for long. Your efficiency and agency has increased exponentially. 

Thank you. Ok, so, tell me more about this ‘game’.

The game of freewill, agency, creative gusts. 


Creativity blows through us like a gust of wind. It’s about channelling that gust when it comes, and riding the motion forward. 

So, creativity is different to just ‘getting stuff done’. This is not just about staying on top of demands.

Absolutely. The Completer Completing is a martial artist of the creative arts. She waits for no permissions or ‘right times’. She is primed and gets the job done. 

The benign assassin again.

How does this apply to our days?

Each new day is either:

a) limited time to get all that stuff on the list done before it swamps you (aka run from the incoming tide) or

b) a clean, fresh, glowing, empty canvas of a day upon which you may paint exactly what you choose (aka watch the tide go out and draw upon the sand)

And how do I shift from mindset A to mindset B.

By definiteness of purpose, as the completer completing, according to her preferences.

How do I stop my ‘definiteness of purpose’ from becoming more of ‘shoving myself to do the terrible tasks on my lists’?

The painter starts the painting with an image of the completed work, and acts as the channel for that work to be created through her. She surrenders her eye and hand to the impulses of creativity, while she holds a very definite vision of the completed work, open only to the spirit of the muse to improve upon her vision. She is undoubting about her end vision. Like an architect foreseeing a building, though not a brick has been laid. 

She has faith in her vision and her ability to bring it to completion.

She is the completer completing. That is the work of the Work. 

How do you know when your vision for the day is ‘complete’ and set, and it’s time to move from visioning to execution?

When you feel uplifted by your plan for the day. When you feel stirred and like getting out of your seat. Not before. 

Today is my Dad’s birthday and my best friend’s wedding anniversary. I’m seeing them both to celebrate.

Celebrate you say? 

If I can only get my work done, the house up together, the presents ready… 🙁

Sounds glum. 

Feels glum.

So what’s the end goal / vision of the day? 

Happy, celebrated, loved-up loved ones. Snap! I can almost see the photos this evening.

Excellent. ‘See the photos.’ How do you look and feel in those photos? 

Happy, chuffed, expansive, relaxed, loving towards my loved ones…

And how do you feel now? 

A bit heavy, slothful, weighted – like I’ve a mountain to climb.

A mountain to climb to get the stunning vista photograph at the summit. 

Yes… I don’t feel stimulated by the idea of the summit at the moment (which is typical for my days – not a reaction to celebrating my precious loved ones!).

That’s fine. This is all part of the exercise. Can you remember a previous time you felt ‘happy, chuffed, expansive, relaxed, loving towards my loved ones…’? 

Yes. Various.

What’s the feeling as you come away from those events and times. 

A lightness, a warmth, a connectedness, also a relief at stepping down from social self-regulation…

Ok, excellent. This notion of social self-regulation is really important. It’s the masking, the chameleon, the camouflaging aspect of achieving so many things in the world… which is tiring and daunting. What would happen if you didn’t have to enact social self-regulation

If all feels much more achievable… To go as myself… It’s just I worry my Self doesn’t actually give a shit about whether I turn up with presents and clean clothes, or on time.

What actually motivates your Self? 

Golly…! I’m not entirely sure! Freedom of movement, expression, rest. I’m worried I’m a terribly self-absorbed person.

Try moving into a state of expansive self-expression. And then watch the self-absorption melt away. Why? Because you start to enter a true dialogue with your present reality, rather than re-acting the scenarios of old, or mimicking your childhood role models. (Now that is tiring and boring.) You being you is energising. You self-regulating is exhausting. 

Ok, but I do need this image for the day that uplifts and moves me forward with definiteness of purpose. I need the completed vision.

  • The house is up together and stocked with food for the girl
  • The suitcases are ready and the presents are lined up ready too
  • The work is submitted for next week
  • It’s 3pm and I’m ready to go.

That’s the next milestone for the Completer to complete. Great. How does the Completer look at 3pm? 

Happy, relaxed, ready…

What is my message for the day?

How about: I am the Completer Completing her vision

Like, the vision of the completed painting. So, my next ‘snapped’ picture is of the suitcases and presents by the full fridge, and my desk clear.

Yes. Try drawing it. You are learning the magician’s skill of conjuring. 

Man! Can we say that aloud?!

Each human is a conjuror. That is the human condition. 

‘I am the conjuror conjuring’?

Have you set your vision clearly? 

I guess so.

Then why not? 

I am the conjuror conjuring






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