Bit. By bit. By bit…. Turning myself to those who ‘seek relief’. Developing self-forgetfulness tentatively, with gripped fingers, like an ascending rock-climber trying her best to have faith in her belay line as she climbs.
Successes:
- Time on the phone with loved ones struggling under the lockdown circumstances (and some of the situations are acute).
- Tending to my mediation offer – overcoming the reticence to ‘push myself forward’.
- Trying to think less about the potential ‘response’ and more about what I think and feel I can offer from my true self
- Finally directly offering my free Covid-19 key worker service to the local hospital (and being received with thanks for the ‘generous’ offer) 🙂
- Beautiful psychotherapy session – working with the lively ‘part’ of me which ‘swooshes out’ that which is not needed or wanted; which ‘energetically pushes back’.
- Daily routine – beautiful. Except after sleepless nights, when I just need to crash out for much of the day.
Challenges:
- Nights of raging anxiety and body twitching with trapped stress
- Mental exhaustion from day after day of stillness at home, combined with constant mental ranging on telecalls or scanning the virtual horizon for ‘news’.
- Developing commissioned training programmes, despite wanting to leave stressful training in favour of actual mediation cases.
- The sense of uncertainty. Is lockdown continuing for three more weeks, or for a year?
- The government spinning untruths… Honestly. It’s heart-breaking.
- Glimpses of what’s happening behind the ‘screen’ of the pandemic… Stunning and shocking. Disclosure, revelations, machinations…
Sweet sister of mercy, bring your mercy. You are entirely right to foster your self-forgetfulness to that degree that it brings you relief.Â
You are developing a balance of two beautifully intertwined concepts:Â
- Self-forgetfulness: this allows you to offer yourself up to support those who seek relief without self-consciousness, nor concerning your self about ‘What will they think of me?’ Your focus is on the person with the actual need. If a doctor thought, ‘How do I look in this emergency situation? What do people think of me?’ – well, you can imagine the outcome…
- Self-remembrance: this allows you to recall what it was that you came here to do, to give, to be. It permits you to connect with that which stirs you, which resonates in you, which tickles you, which sets you spinning on the high-flying disc, which gets you feeling tuned in, tapped in and turned on, which plugs you into the Source from where YOU are.Â
For an autistic person, this is all a bit…
‘…perfect’? Indeed. No one better than the finely-attuned autistic person to lift this two-fold baby off the ground. No one. You have it in you – all of you – to perform acts of enormous kindness when you balance your Self-forgetfulness and Self-remembrance. How much kindness do you want to share? Well, watch out because karma is a kool kookie, and the goodness flows back round from whence it came. Can you trust that? Can you trust that if you really unleash your kindness, it will not exhaust you but give you more energy than you can shake a kookie at. Truly.
The kindness is where the tuned in, tapped in, turned on feeling lies. But it has to be 100% kindness, not the ‘yah, I’ve got time and energy for 60% kindness today, so hurry it all the heck up.’ No! That has no trust in it at all! That is conditional love. That says, ‘The universe is limited in the energy it has to give, and my slice is small, and you all ain’t having too much of mine.’
We are talking about skating upon the wide lake of ice with full confidence that it is solid. We want to see the triple turns, the leaps and the swoops. No edging yourself around the edge incase the ice cracks and you fall in… No! Trusting that the ice is rock solid. And spinning in your full glory in the middle of the lake.Â
You say ‘unleash your kindness’. Can we define kindness?
Kindness comes from ‘kin’ – so it means, ‘as you would treat your kin’. All this world is your kin! You fell in to doubt about that for a moment. Just briefly. You saw some as a threat, or your enemy, or against you, or at risk of judging you. We saw that. A brief blink of the eye in the grand scheme. All are your brothers and sisters. Can you recall that in to your heart again? All are there for you, and you are there for all of them. No one, and we repeat, no one is here to ‘get you’. The universe truly is designed for all to flow into the evolution of their softest, happiest, most joy-filled self. Drop the resistance, and this becomes obvious to each of you. To drop the resistance, you simply need to assure yourself that everyone is here as your brother and sister. No complications to this point.Â
See A Course In Miracles for a refresher if needed..!
Exactly. So, when we truly know we are amongst family, unleashing our kindness is like jumping into a warm pool. But jump in. Don’t stumble or hesitate on the edge, or you’ll slip and hurt yourself. Be coherent. Tune in, tap in and turn on… to kindness.Â
OK. I HEAR YOU. I WILL TRY.
And why are you clinging to the edge? Why are you hesitating as though ice water awaits you? As though you are going to get shocked at any moment?Â
Dive in to the pool of your warm kindness. Skate upon the glistening ice of your expansive generosity. Playfully. Think general. Remind yourself that ‘kindness’ is the word of the day. And relax.Â
Ok. Ty. I will. I am unleashing my kindness. #KindnessKounts
“I am unleashing my kindness.”