Another Monday morning where I’m woken by anxiety at 4am-ish. Let’s get on top of this now. I’m getting this feeling of the possibility of ‘the routine’, the template, the blueprint for the week – a constant pattern where there is simply less uncertainty, and less ‘being run along others’ tracks’. My beautiful Aspie brain yearns for certainty, rhythm, and the confidence that we are leading with Giving over Gaining – or at least, Serving over Striving. Can you speak to all this please?
***Med20minTimer***
While you are keen to work with routines and timetables you should know that you are now entering an epoch of timelessness.
What does this mean?
This means you are starting to move off linear time and into the arena of moments of eternity. This is why you are so keen for, and have been working towards, regularity and simplicity. You needed to wean yourself off linearity! It’s so stimulating to be on linear time, and that stimulation has been a source of comfort, just as being bounced in her mother’s arms is comforting to the baby. But you are learning to stand with two feet on the ground, and to blend and merge into timelessness.
Well this Lockdown period has certainly been somewhat timeless. We’re all saying, ‘I don’t know what day it is’ and ‘Is it Christmas yet?’ It’s a source of amusement. Maybe that’s why I experience a wrench going back into the week every Monday, it suddenly feels so linear again.
Not if you set your time for you.
That’s true. I’m nearly there! With Project One Jam. My intention is to offer one afternoon session a day, at the same time, or easily flipped with the morning if needed.
Stick to your guns. Clarity and self-determination are literally the order of the day.
Meaning?
The order of the day = the way you order your day.
Ah! Funny. I thought you meant, order as in command.
That also. That also!
🙂 So… Clarity and self-determination. What is this about exactly?
You have to be clear about what you offer, and do, otherwise people can’t ‘see’ you. You’re too ephemeral. Like fairies in the woods.
Daily Clinic at 2pm.
Say it aloud.
“I run a Daily Clinic at 2.” I can’t believe I’m writing this aloud… Why am I?
To exemplify the evolving route.
Ok.
And what is the link between Daily Clinic at 2pm and timelessness, hm?
Hooks on the plains of eternity make it easier for you to liaise with your friends on the energetic level.
I need to strip away old ways of doing things, don’t I?
You can either strip them away, or wait for them to decay. If we were in your physical shoes, we would strip them away, with glee.
Because I can, right?
Because you can.
What could I do this week really to satisfy myself and bring me a sense of relief, satiation and satisfaction, at the level of my inner being? Diving into the vortex, as it were.
Share. Your. Writing. That would be the blast of adventure you are looking for.
I worry… that if I do, either it will be greeted with a dull thud (fear of rejection there in me) or that I will literally lose my ability to have these dialogues because I will become self-conscious.
These conversations are sincerely not just for you. If you think they are, then maybe you are missing the significance of this time.
That idea makes me sad, ashamed… aggrieved. I’ve no idea how to come out.
Yes, you do.
It’s true. Yes I do. And then I hesitate. And then it feels like a bad idea. And then I return to it. And then I hesitate. And then… Ultimately – how do I know I won’t lose my link with this ability to dialogue if I do share what I write?
You won’t really know until you do it. And then you will be surprised.
And what if… Oh, please say something that will give me faith and trust and confidence that if I share this writing, I will be ok.
Empty your mind.
…..
Think of 5 women you trust.
Write their names down.
Now send the link to your writings to them in your mind, and note what you see.
[Curiosity, astonishment, indifference, awe, pleasure.]
And now relax. Let it go. Move on. Live your day.
I started reading Bringers of the Dawn again this weekend… I love it so.
And are you glad that writing was shared so you could read it?
It came from a clear authority. I don’t know where this comes from, and if it’s just me, then I should keep it to myself. This dialoguing has always been about me healing and teaching me. It’s always been my answer to therapy. And therefore it should remain private. But… I wonder if there are others like me, who would benefit from my sharing this?
So you are a clear authority on you. That’s enough, isn’t it?
It’s just so weird. And I don’t want to be misunderstood…
sh… Live your day.
My message to take away?
Live your day in favour of ‘the survival of the weakest’.
Weak is a pejorative term, no? I get that it’s the opposite of fittest… Is it like, ‘the meek’?
If you like. We think you know what is meant by ‘the weakest’. It is meant: those who do not have your privilege, your advantage, your luxury of lifestyle. You got a little bit used to being the vulnerable, or the victim, or the struggler – as you so self-identified. You didn’t notice that you became fit, empowered and endowed with immense advantage. Use it for those following in your footsteps towards these ‘sunny uplands’ of relief. Envision relief for all. Support those who are faltering at this time. Know that all will find relief. Support those who need the help up the last incline.
Live your day in favour of those who seek relief.
Ok. Thank you. This is good. Blessings upon this planet at this time.
Live your day in favour of those who seek relief