Pivot 71: I am downloading love into myself

You’ll see from my drawing yesterday, this insight was the outcome of my thoughtlessness non-mullings:

I am shrinking my thinking and fencing my sensing

I figured that: if my mind is focussed on the past or future, I’m in THINKING mode – and likely High Thought, as my beautiful Aspie brain tends not to think lightly.

On the other hand, if my mind is on the present ‘now’ moment, I am not in thought, I am pretty much just SENSING. (I expect this is exactly what beloved Tolle wrote in The Power of Now, but it’s been a while since I read it and we all learn in cycles…)

So, rather than wait to spot if I’m thinking or sensing, why not spent more time/energy on SENSING, knowing that sensing and thinking can’t really co-occur, and thus knowing that sensing is a fair route out of thinking.

By fencing my sensing I mean ‘protecting’ my sensing faculty, by actively allowing it, encouraging it, fostering it – and not letting the urgent impulse to THINK derail the lightness of SENSING.

(It’s almost as if I’d just invented mindfulness… 😀 )

And so. And so. Can I sense your considerations on this topic?

Oh yes! We’d much rather you sensed with us than talked with us. That is how it all works best. Telepathy is the ultimate communication, is it not? And it comes in thought-bundles, which your mind downloads and unpacks with immense ease…. w h e n ….you are in sensing mode. Not so much when in thinking mode. When you are in thinking mode, it’s like we’re trying to play you a song while you’ve got the radio on in the background. You see? 

I do see! To the degree that seeing is a sense! I see that you are communicating with me in a non-linear way. And that excites me, at which point I start thinking. Funny that…

Excitement is a faculty of the nervous system. One of the great opportunities of the human experience today is to ‘get on top of’ the nervous system, as it were. That is why the world filled with massage therapists and body workers after 1987. And why mindfulness practice has finally become mainstream, thank goodness! Getting on top of the nervous system means learning to RELAX it. 

And how do you relax the nervous system?

The first thing you do is take away from your nervous system the threat of your very self. You are the biggest threat to your nervous system because you make yourself do things that are against your inner will. Don’t you? 

Sure! That’s what being a grown up is all about though, no? If I just follow my hedonic brain where it cares to lead me, I end up fat, drunk and asleep. Not exactly consciousness paradise, is it?

Your inner will and your hedonic brain are different ‘beasts’. Your inner will – seated in what Abraham calls the Inner Being – is borne out of your sorting and sifting of life. It is akin to the ‘Vortex’ Abraham speaks of.

What often happens for you is that you force yourself go down one route, but your Inner Being is all set for something else…that is going against your inner will, whether inspired by the hedonic brain, or more likely, the egoic mind. 

For example, you say, ‘Training is so tiring; I’d like to do more casework.’ At which point your Inner Being readies itself for more casework, with glee, because it loves to learn what you like! That intention now becomes your inner will. Imagine how your Inner Being feels when you then spend a week working on training, saying “Yes!” to new training, and not getting your casework offer out there. 

Disappointed?

No. Fraught. Tense. Confounded. Or, to be precisely accurate, that is how you feel. Your Inner Being has endless patience and profound detachment and remains ‘unmoved’. But your nervous system gets scrambled when you act outside the intention and inner will that you previously created by your sorting and sifting of the liked and not-liked. 

Oh… man. I can see that might be A Thing.

Similarly, when you have developed the Inner Will to eat well, and your follow your Hedonic Mind to overeating, your nervous system gets tense.

And upon that note, shall we clarify the next step? 

Yes please.

Clue: it does not involve self-chastisement. It does involve some self-compassion. But more than anything, to overcome the stress of acting outside your own Inner Will, and to reduce the likelihood of your acting outside your own Inner Will, one thing is needed in spectacular quantities. 

What is that one thing?

Love.

And this love… which in principle I’m ALL over… tell me…

Love is sensed not thought. 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I see. That hits home.

In order to love you must sense. In order to sense you must be in the present moment. 

If 99.4% of your day is spent in thinking mode (past/future) you can’t SENSE enough to download enough love to even breathe… let alone to harness the energy and willpower to work with the desires and dreams of your inner being. 

To even breathe… Split infinitive aside…

Used for emphasis. 🙂

… I hear you. Much of the time, my breath is held. Literally. I don’t breathe deeply.

Creating acidosis. 

Which makes me inflamed, swollen, tired, hormonal…

And so…

If I spent more time in the present moment, sensing, not only would I breathe better, I’d be able to download love?

Downloading love into yourself is literally the most valuable thing you can do for yourself and for the planet. And yes, you can do it by breathing. In the present moment. 

Shrinking my thinking…

Fencing your sensing. 

Breathing deeply.

And downloading love into yourself. 

More on this another day. You get the idea. Play with this today. Sense it. 

Got it. Tysm. x

I am downloading love into myself