Tag: Michael Brown

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Create 27: I am trusting my feelings #EmoBody #GetBetterAtFeeling

Woke up this morning from awful nightmares: monsters, robots, US Civil War soldiers, men in suits… flooding into the garden, and eventually invading the house. I’d just used up my phone battery videoing the invaders through the sitting room window. Help! Suddenly, I and others were being kidnapped, but I decided I didn’t want to go on this next journey with a full bladder so I dashed to the loo (the sensible woman’s prerogative), and then had a long tussle with a kidnapper as I tried to lock myself in to the loo and he pushed at the door…. realising that even if I did succeed in shutting the door, I was now cornered and separated from my loved ones. But at least… I wouldn’t need the loo. :/

So, lying in bed at 5.30am, anxiety now burbling through my body, I decided to turn to my Emotional Body and ask what it was feeling? The key feelings of Fear? Anger? Grief?

And my Emo Body said to me: All of those. Especial tenderness of Fear and Grief following my call with my Dad yesterday. Dad explained to me he seems to have an as yet undiagnosed condition. We thought we knew what it is, but he’s now being referred for further tests. I won’t go into detail here, but I felt… for the first time… that I should brace myself for the next phase. Then on the phone call, instead of hanging up, moving to Zoom and doing our video recording of his lecture, he kinda filibustered me for an entire hour, talking about what he’d like to talk about, before declaring himself rung out, and calling off! So, the filibustering normally dismays and infuriates me, but this time (#StrongBoundaries) I just quietly got on with tidying my office and doing a few emails while he spoke for a bit – “Hm…ah… uhuh…” being all he actually needs/wants from me. Then, gently reminding myself that these regular filibustering conversations won’t last forever, and are actually the golden thread of my lifetime relationship with my Dad, I clambered into the bed in my office and lay there with my eyes closed, just letting his voice ebb and flow through my heart; being present to the presence of this man who has accompanied me through my life, giving of himself to me, the very best he could, every single day of my life. It was a very precious time.

{And after, I leapt up and nailed the heck out of the Report which had had me awake at 5-ish with a near panic attack that morning.}

Back to lying in bed this morning. So having thought about the impact of yesterday’s call with Dad, I then said, “Ok Emotional Body, I hear you – tender stuff. And what about your feeling of this present moment?”

And my Emo Body said to me: Fuck waiting. Fuck that shit!

Excuse me… Is this about waiting to ‘come out’ with our creative work. Like Dad…?

And my Emo Body said to me: Are you kidding? Your father created an international radio empire, and sold his video business for £1m+! He was a broadcaster on national TV and radio! 

Shucks, man. You’re right… This narrative about him I’ve developed…?!

And my Emo Body said to me: Finish AT.com, and set up SoD… to sell. Btw, SoD => #AdvancedInterpersonalCommunication

And with that, I was almost propelled out of bed. I made coffee. Here I am.

Excellent. Let’s pause and go in. 

**** Reading Alchemy of the Heart, Michael Brown****

Holy moley, MB spitting truths on an epic level today…!!! And so in line with our current project on creativity! Just amazing! Ty, MB!

‘As a species, we have trodden our way wearily through the world of manufacturing and have now arrived at the doorway to the consciousness of creativity. Whereas manufacture is the art of manipulating and adjusting the exterior, creativity is the art of mastering the interior.

At this new frontier, manufacture is ineffectual. Within the unfolding paradigm of authentic creativity, a collective impact on our experience can only be accomplished through the integrity of precisely focused individual activity – through the diamond integrity of personal responsibility.

Our current confusion arises out of standing with one foot in each of these worlds. We are still trying to do mentally and physically what only the heart can accomplish. We are still trying to do collectively what can only be accomplished individually. 

We are still trying to feel better, when we are now being asked to get better at feeling.’ (Alchemy of the Heart, Michael Brown p93)

BOOM! YES! This is why…:

  • I can’t work in/for the corporate world – despite years of trying!
  • I needed to develop sovereignty and to work, first in partnership with others to gain confidence, and now solo
  • I am seeing that it’s not just about manufacturing what others’ ask, but about bringing my own creativity to bear (SoD and H2D)
  • I see an epidemic of poor mental health in the corporations I run sessions for
  • I see small businesses / solopreneurs popping up everywhere, especially amongst the young Gen Z crew (on IG) as they take personal responsibility for their own destiny…
  • Meanwhile the Millennials, the last bastion of the corporate-dependent rat race,  pump out memes and reels about ‘Millennial corporate anxiety’… poor angels! They are are still trying to feel better

And so importantly, this independent solopreneur path demands we do something amazing: we are now being asked to get better at feeling

And yes! Isn’t it the case that when I listen to my emotional body, and to my inner wisdom and my creative impulses, I have the perfect, complete and flawless roadmap for my life?!

So today…? 

Keep checking in on the Emotional Body. Keep learning from its emotions, keep integrating what is there. (Breathe). You can also tap in by saying, “Is it fear? anger? grief?” and take it from there. You have a genie in a bottle right there in your feeling system. Use it (or lose its value). You have the opportunity to heal – no, tidy up – your emotional signature. That alone will reset your compass. What fun! 

Bless you. thank you. May I have direct contact with my Emo Body all day. May I get better at feeling… and trust my feelings to guide and orientate me, all day long. May I recognise the power of precisely focused individual activity – through the diamond integrity of personal responsibility. And may I learn how my feeling body can help me accomplish this activity. May I trust my feelings all day long. 

I am trusting my feelings

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Presence 63: I am inspired to act on creative impulses  [End of Presence Project]

It’s the 31st December 2020. The last day of a tempestuous year for the whole planet. And the last day of the Presence Project. How do I know? Because I only have the last few pages of this beautiful book to go… and the Create Project is on the horizon it seems!

So, I’m sitting here with next year’s wall calendar blank on the floor in front of me. I have (God-willing) 365 days ahead of me – and the power to design and define them.

Essentially, I want to dive in to ‘how I want to feel’ in those days – as opposed to ‘goals I set myself to achieve’. This year has taught me that we can make plans, but plans can be thwarted by external forces. It has also taught me that we can CHOOSE how we feel and want to feel in any moment with far greater facility and agility – and thus be independent of the will or co-operation of anyone else.

I plan to FEEL:

  • relaxed
  • settled
  • focussed
  • satisfied
  • aroused by enthusiasm
  • motivated
  • peaceful
  • confident
  • receptive to inspiration
  • in control
  • responsive (v reactive)
  • steady
  • inspired
  • grateful
  • appreciation
  • in awe
  • joyful
  • mirthful
  • connected
  • deliberate
  • clear-minded
  • bold and brave
  • brash
  • anchored
  • present
  • creative

Nice work. 

Ty. Shall we read the last pages of The Present Process? I’m so grateful to Michael Brown for this exceptionally inspired, wise, illuminating book. It has accompanied me like a mentor and guide since August – and given me the opportunity to make inner progress during this most complex and surprising of years. Thank you, dear MB.

***

Beautiful! What a powerful and profound book!

Some final notes.

The 15min Conscious Connect Breathing practice continues:

Our intent is our flight path. When we feel ourselves being tossed into unconsciousness by “time,” how then do we consciously respond? How do we compensate and make the required adjustments? We stop whatever we are doing and connect our breathing until present moment awareness is restored. It’s this simple. It’s this obvious. Consciously connecting our breathing restores present moment awareness and reminds us of our intent when the turbulence of our experience causes confusion. Consciously connecting our breathing rescues us from the wreckage of any crash we may manifest. By committing to make our 15 minutes breathing practice as much a part of our daily routine as brushing our teeth, we insure ourselves against Presence-decay. Our breathing routine is our responsibility because it ensures we have consciously established a route into ourselves, which is where all navigational adjustments are made.

MB gives ‘A Parting Gift’: CONSCIOUSLY APPROACHING VIBRATIONAL AWARENESS. He describes the practice in detail and states the following: 

Once we are listening to any inner sound, or to the nothingness, we are at the doorway of our inner portal into vibrational awareness. Whatever occurs beyond this point is ours to contain.

The efficiency of this practice isn’t in what we hear inwardly, but in our capacity to remain in a state of listening. This state of listening – of consciously being a receiver – empowers us to become open to receive all we require for our daily encounters directly from our unified source. As our capacity to listen evolves, so also does our capacity to receive.

This vibrational practice isn’t about perfection, but about full participation in our human experience from “a causal point of you.” Don’t try. Relax into it and enjoy the inevitable consequences. Effortlessness comes from effortlessness. May this practice eternally bless you and all you love with all you require.

Thank you dear Michael Brown for this adventure with you.

I absolutely love the idea of developing capacity to remain in a ‘state of listening’. This is at the heart of our Dialogues, isn’t it? And this is the foundation for ‘downloading creative impulses’ – right? We enter the state of present moment awareness, through our ‘accumulating PMA practices’ (my phrase/interp)… and gain access to our creative source and the impulses of our inner being – which is the part of us looking directly at ‘all the good stuff our vortex contains’ which has been placed there by our sifting and sorting through contrast! As Abraham says:

Creative Impulses. ACTING on the creative impulses ‘downloaded’ from present moment awareness, from alignment, from source energy. That’s the order of the day for the Create Project. And of course, learning to discern which impulses came from non-alignment and should be … recycled!

I’d like to share my appreciation for the blessings of 2020:

  • The opportunity to rest, restore and follow a health-giving routine
  • Moving all my work online – as I’d longed to do!
  • The blessing of having Graham and Ana here
  • Watching Lucia nail a £60k salary, and then move on to her creative work. Yes!
  • The wonder that Lucia, Dad, sibs and others all have remained well <3
  • Ayari’s incredibly recovery – and her powerful relationship with Nick
  • That Ana got though Covid with a full strong recovery
  • Immersing myself in qigong, and completing 7/16 weeks of the Teacher Certification Programme (my big gift to self this year!)
  • This beautiful home and the incredible nature around it
  • My daily walks in nature
  • My colleagues, clients, cases and calling <3
  • Serving some 1500 people through my work in 2020
  • This year (Jan-Dec)  I have delivered on 93 training and mediation bookings – WOW!!
  • This year, I ‘received’ The School of Dialogue – in 21/22 I aim to have fewer bookings and more revenue  <3
  • The beautiful hot spring/summer we had
  • Precious time with family members when possible
  • Zoom and the internet. Thank you!
  • My life-giving, heart-filling, joyful, fun, stimulating, passionate, flowing, deep, comforting, envelopingly-wonderful relationship with Graham.

 

I would also like to take the opportunity to think about things I would like in my 2021 Wall Calendar which I am going to design around being ‘inspired to act on creative impulses’ and “#CreateSomeThingNewToday  (#CSTNT – boom!).

I will start with creative…

2021 Gifts to Self:

  1. 365 Day streak of 15min Breathing / PMA practice
  2. Qualify as a qigong teacher 
  3. Launch The SoD with the 12 hours H2D course
  4. Get a book deal for H2D
  5. Reach 133lb by 14Mar20
  6. Buy a beautiful new bike
  7. Get a monthly massage
  8. Quarterly spa/retreat weekend away (accumulating PMA; reflect on and celebrate the quarter’s achievements)
  9. Three holidays away – one abroad – can be working/R&D holidays for SoD
  10. Create the road to One Jam 2022 (decrease other work, and transition over to HtD only) 
  11. Recruit an administrator / business manager / PA
  12. Apply for travel scholarships for SoD (eg Churchill) 
  13. Sober Sundays all year
  14. Tweak, refine and perfect AT’s Daily Routine 3.0 later in 2021. <3

 

Wow…. this prompted me to search my google drive for ‘2020 Goals’. Look what I found:

2020 Goals

Personal: Practice the MEDS with discipline for vibrant energy

Professional: Share the Tools of PULL with the Newgens

[PULL = peace, unity, love and light – a term I coined to bring together all I intend]

Really, it’s so amazing. I did it! THANK YOU 2020. This year has been so so challenging in so many ways, and from those challenges have come opportunity for growth, courage, experimentation, digging deep, doubling down, focussing on intentions. Thank you. <3

And heavens look at this!

I had so many intentions – but so complex!

My intention for 2021 is simple: 

  • Act on Creative Impulses downloaded in Present Moment Awareness
  • Create Something New Each Day
  • Record the outcomes in my  Book of Creative D.A.R.M.A.
  • Create > Consume

So… this is all pouring out of me today. What would you like to to know, to better draw down and activate this creativity?

Create your 2021 Wall Calendar today. That will be powerful. You are learning to CONJURE with your will and your intention. That is how life is meant to work. To reach this point you needed to Pivot and to become Present. 

Oh my word, yes! Thank you for both the DoDs Projects this year. I should reread them, no?

Only if you feel the ‘impulse’ to! But hear this. You pivoted and became present this year in new ways. You are now better than ever at harnessing your attention and being mindful and living with complex emotions and riding the waves of life. You have worked on deep issues – and even undertaken some psychotherapy if you recall! You have undertaken the Queens’ Mysteries coaching. You have walked miles and miles and miles. You have thrown yourself into qigong. You are now ready to reach into the STILLNESS you have new access to, and alchemise stillness with your soul’s desire, to activate your creative source. May 2021 be moment by moment a flow of inestimable joy, wellbeing and creativity for you. xxx

Thank you! For this project, for this year, for the learning acquired and the PMA accumulated. Love and peace to 2021!

I am inspired to act on creative impulses 

 

 

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Pivot 142: I am embracing Peace of Mind

The ‘knowing of my heart’ is coming in slowly and quietly… Is it really the ‘prayers of my heart’ I need to be listening out for?

Yes. Exactly. The heart makes its own prayers, independently of the mind. Listen in; enquire. 

***The Next Day***

I spent yesterday (Day 6 of our staycation – a 7 mile walk) enquiring in to the prayers of my heart. This is what I heard…

  • planetary ascension (for us All – and yes I know… but honestly, the concept makes my heart leap, so I’m putting it down)
  • contact & communion (of my heart with Source… and the Unseen…)

This is where I can genuinely sense my heart yearning, or its ears pricking, or its ‘face’ smiling… Am I making any sense?

Yes. Now calm right down. Practise that conscious breathing. Soften. Forgive all passing thoughts and memories. ‘Focus inward with a calm, interiorised mind…’ Become soft. Listen.

Grand. You are learning, especially thanks to this holiday with the long walks, to be present to your own internal world. It really is a dopamine fast which you needed, in order to hear yourself as you truly are. You have had the habit of looking outwards to know what next to think. “What’s on the task list, what’s most urgent, what’s occurring, what’s in the calendar, what’s on my playlist, what’s going to stimulate me, what’s going to calm me..???” Sound familiar? 

Yes. And going at no-dopamine-boost pace has been a challenge. I’m hoping that I’m starting to get the benefits?

No news! 

Ok. I’ll delete the stupid news app.

Turn inwards. 

****40 mins later ***

I know you said to turn inwards, but somehow I just watched this whole video, with tears pouring down my face…

Bless me. Please.

Read, dear one. 

****

Man, I just read the last several chapters of ACIM’s Manual for Teachers. It is such a gift. A real summary and quickstart guide to ACIM.

Some favourite quotes:

M22.9 To forgive is to heal. 10 The teacher of God has taken accepting the Atonement for himself as his only function.

M-23.4. The name of Jesus Christ as such is but a symbol. 2 But it stands for love that is not of this world. 3 It is a symbol that is safely used as a replacement for the many names of all the gods to which you pray.

M-24.5.3 ..it would be a mistake for him to renounce the belief unless his internal Teacherso advised. [DODs <3]

M-24.6. The emphasis of this course always remains the same;—it is at this moment that complete salvation is offered you, and it is at this moment that you can accept it. 2 This is still your one responsibility. 3 Atonement might be equated with total escape from the past and total lack of interest in the future. 4 Heaven is here. 5 There is nowhere else. 6 Heaven is now. 7 There is no other time. 8 No teaching that does not lead to this is of concern to God’s teachers.

M-25.6. Any ability that anyone develops has the potentiality for good. 2 To this there is no exception. 

M-26.8 If God were reached directly in sustained awareness, the body would not be long maintained.

M-27.7. Teacher of God, your one assignment could be stated thus: Accept no compromise in which death plays a part. 2 Do not believe in cruelty, nor let attack conceal the truth from you. 

M-28.2. The resurrection is the denial of death, being the assertion of life. 2 Thus is all the thinking of the world reversed entirely. 3 Life is now recognized as salvation, and pain and misery of any kind perceived as hell. 4 Love is no longer feared, but gladly welcomed. 5 Idols have disappeared, and the remembrance of God shines unimpeded across the world. 6 Christ’s face is seen in every living thing, and nothing is held in darkness, apart from the light of forgiveness. 7 There is no sorrow still upon the earth. 8 The joy of Heaven has come upon it.

M-28.3. Here the curriculum ends. 2 From here on, no directions are needed. 3 Vision is wholly corrected and all mistakes undone. 4 Attack is meaningless and peace has come. 5 The goal of the curriculum has been achieved. 6 Thoughts turn to Heaven and away from hell. 7 All longings are satisfied, for what remains unanswered or incomplete? 8 The last illusion spreads across the world, forgiving all things and replacing all attack. 9 The whole reversal is accomplished. 10 Nothing is left to contradict the Word of God. 11 There is no opposition to the truth. 12 And now the truth can come at last. 13 How quickly will it come as it is asked to enter and envelop such a world!

M-28.4. All living hearts are tranquil with a stir of deep anticipation, for the time of everlasting things is now at hand. 2 There is no death. 3 The Son of God is free. 4 And in his freedom is the end of fear. 5 No hidden places now remain on earth to shelter sick illusions, dreams of fear and misperceptions of the universe. 6 All things are seen in light, and in the light their purpose is transformed and understood. 7 And we, God’s children, rise up from the dust and look upon our perfect sinlessness. 8 The song of Heaven sounds around the world, as it is lifted up and brought to truth.

M-29.6 The curriculum is highly individualized, and all aspects are under the Holy Spirit’s particular care and guidance. 7 Ask and He will answer. 8 The responsibility is His, and He alone is fit to assume it. 9 To do so is His function. 10 To refer the questions to Him is yours. [DoDs <3] 11 Would you want to be responsible for decisions about which you understand so little? 12 Be glad you have a Teacher Who cannot make a mistake. 13 His answers are always right. 14 Would you say that of yours? M-29.3. There is another advantage,—and a very important one,—in referring decisions to the Holy Spirit with increasing frequency. 2 Perhaps you have not thought of this aspect, but its centrality is obvious. 3 To follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance is to let yourself be absolved of guilt. 4 It is the essence of the Atonement. 5 It is the core of the curriculum.

M-29.5. Who assumes a power that he does not possess is deceiving himself. 2 Yet to accept the power given him by God is but to acknowledge his Creator and accept His gifts. 3 And His gifts have no limit. 4 To ask the Holy Spirit to decide for you is simply to accept your true inheritance. 5 Does this mean that you cannot say anything without consulting Him? 6 No, indeed! 7 That would hardly be practical, and it is the practical with which this course is most concerned. 8 If you have made it a habit to ask for help when and where you can, you can be confident that wisdom will be given you when you need it. 9 Prepare for this each morning, remember God when you can throughout the day, ask the Holy Spirit’s help when it is feasible to do so, and thank Him for His guidance at night. 10 And your confidence will be well founded indeed. [DODs]

And now, I’m instantly called to read The Presence Process by Michael Brown, on:

  • encounters with Presence
  • authentic beingness
  • the radiance of present moment awareness
  • consciously connected breathing
  • integrative healing
  • the shamanic paradigm

I’ve read the preface, and am so moved. It’s like a handbook for working with the ACIM teachings.! And for overcoming the dopamine twitching!!

This morning has been a roller coaster. Thank you! I have truly connected and communed! This really is living within this beautiful planetary ascension. Oh, your advice for today?

Recall: ‘thoughts turn to Heaven and away from hell’ 

I’ll use that ‘consciously connected breathing’ to turn my thoughts to Heaven today. It’s a rainy day. May I develop my present moment awareness within it. And, what should I work with, also?

Peace of mind. Let this CCB grant you Peace of Mind. In the here and now, all is truly peaceful! Use ‘peace of mind’ as an indicator that you are in the here and now of heaven. When your egoic mind fires up a fear fest, step it down. Do this all day, with consummate softness, and you will step lightly towards that precious Presence. Embrace Peace of Mind, no matter how your mind might scream. Embrace Peace of Mind. 

Thank you. Here and now is all there is, and when I rest my attention in the here and now, I can welcome that gentle peace of mind. Thank you. I will look towards mind-screams as indicators that I’m doing well!! Amen.

I am embracing Peace of Mind