MEDS Day 27: Today I am composing myself - Dialogues of Discernment

Yesterday was curious. While I ‘walked towards my future’ (holding the future vision in mind), we actually ended up going out and visiting the village where I grew up. I hadn’t been for years. It was good to retrace the footsteps of a time of innocence. This resonates with the RT concept of returning to your past mentally, to catch glimpses of the times when you were on the easier timeline, as it were – before the pendulum swings of adversity and challenge booted you on to lower frequencies. In revisiting the places of earliest innocence, perhaps the memory of the original timeline is evoked, and can be summoned for the future.

And today, with present realities still playing out, I wake to the realisation that my dear, kind patient body is back in full-blown adrenal fatigue. How did it happen, even while I’m actually doing this MEDS Project?! I worked soooooo hard to overcome it in 2015-17. I overcame it, and was fit and healthy again! It takes MONTHS and YEARS to recover from. How come I am back here?

I reckon these were the causes of the renewed adrenal fatigue:

SLEEP: Not nailing the early bedtime. I know better. I need to nail being in bed by 10pm, with all screens off. It’s as simple as that. Without this, I can not hope to catch the melatonin window, and I actively summon a cortisol burst to keep me awake. It’s insanity.
DIET: Carbs, caffeine, alcohol. In 2017, I spent 11 months alcohol-free. It reduced carb intake and it massively improved by sleep. It stopped night time eating too. I also followed the brainmaker diet. Come on, dear soul. We know this stuff. I know it all wound up because of meeting my lovely partner, who (though he understands and has practised all these protocols) can get away without following them. And I have followed him – partly out of succumbing to temptation, partly not to be the party-pooper in the room. Time to stop, and develop the willpower of a fucking eagle. (It was hard enough keeping to protocols when my kids were in the house… but to be in a relationship with someone who can and will eat all the things that make me ill, is hard. But I’ve got special interest Aspie powers to call upon. And I will.
WORK/TIME MANAGEMENT: It has spiralled out of control again, and although I’m my own boss, I’m not a good MANAGER (of myself, my workflow, my business operations). I let things build up, and terrorise me. I allow my diary to fill with unnecessary and UNPAID busy work, that feeds others’ agendas, not mine. (Like speaking at conferences….without having a freaking brochure to pass to people!!! Come on, lady!)
WORK TYPE: I say yes to work that EXHAUSTS me. Why am I doing training sessions for 60 people? Last Friday’s training was completely exhausting! We did well, but the chaos levels of our client were off the scale. No wonder I’m adrenal-fatigued. The way I got through the obstacle course of the training was to suck my adrenal glands dry. It will take me weeks to recover. I need to remember that I am in recovery!
EXERCISE: I’m not doing enough. Remember I used to walk an hour a day, and then do Qigong on a Tues, Yoga and Swimming on a Thursday? Well, that…
MEDITATION: Do I need to get some help resetting that? A meditation teacher is a basic need I should think….

So what are the solutions for this bout of adrenal fatigue?

SLEEP: In bed with my books by ten. (Books for reading, but also my work planner so it’s ready for the morning’s review). Change the box below – so it’s a target we either hit or we don’t. There’s a prize for hitting it 5 nights a week. (I think I need a running spreadsheet. I also need a Fitbit again….)
DIET: I need to define my diet again (somewhere between Brain-maker, GAPs and Adrenal Reset Diet (below). It needs to be manageable and resourced. Time for a Riverford box again? All I really need is organic veg and meat, and probiotics….
WORK/TIME MANAGEMENT:
1. Start saying “no, thank you’ a lot more, to unpaid work, favours and jollies
1. Set my ideal week in the Planner and work towards it doggedly, and lightly. 🙂
WORK TYPE: Focus on the mediation/dialogue work. Aim for 3 afternoon cases a week, on a Mon., Wed. and Fri. afternoon, by Skype, or at my office, or at local workplaces. Absolute priority this week: the new brochure. Not for jollies, but because my health depends upon. it.
EXERCISE: Block out time for exercise again…. This is a big one. I feel sad at how I let ‘work’ overrun my week again, when I know better.
MEDITATION: Look for classes. Oh my.

What about the money for this?

Focus on the 3 afternoon cases a week, dear friend of friends.

I’m so grateful for the coaching you give me. What else do I need to know for today, dear soul of my being?

It’s all ok. There’s no need to rush or push anything. No one is waiting for you. Compose yourself.

Yes! That. Ty.

Today I am composing myself.

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Meditation:

20 mins of MEDITATION? NO – 5mins

Exercise:

ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? YES – walking

Diet:

BRAIN-MAKER DIET? YES / NO / NEARLY

MORNING: My muesli / Salmon + Quinoa + Kale salad from M&S

EVENING: Home-cooked chicken drumsticks, sprouts, parsnips, potato faces, 2xG&T

Sleep:

IN BED WITH MY BOOKS BY 10pm? YES!! / NO

Screens off: 9.50pm Lights out: 10.20pm

Wake up the next day: 6.50am Total sleep: 8.5h! YES!