The Breathing project is one I will need to keep working with. I realised yesterday, sometimes, I go without breathing! I think it had become worse because I had a cold for a fortnight or so. But really…. I will do well to really work with this over time. (As Mum always said, “Keep breathing in and breathing out!”)
With beautiful synchronicity, the first person I met at lunch yesterday, at the conference on the Value of Death, was a woman wanting to become an EOL Doula, who currently is a health research academic, and a yoga/breath teacher, wanting to bring her breath work to people at the end of life. I wanted to ask her more about the breath work… but really I know what the answer is: it’s about doing more practice of yoga, and qigong, and yogic breathing. This woman spoke beautifully about the unity of mind and body attained through yoga, allowing one to become quiet enough internally to get closer to those unseen, unknown dimensions. This was in conversation with a professor of Healing, who spoke about his research with ‘white witches’ and healers, people who simply seem to have better access to the unseen, integrated realms… Yes, if I can remind and reassure myself that healthy breathing is about (or offers a route towards) integrating one’s vision with the unseen world, I think I’ll have the motivation to overcome the discomfort that arises when one starts the practice! I know what my inner heart is looking for…
I’ve had a beautiful morning just reading Reality Transurfing (p545-574). There is so much there, especially on relationships, on ‘pendulums’ and on conflict. Here is the tiniest nutshell summary of what I surmised this morning, and would like to remember, in my words, not Vadim Zeland’s:
- Give what you would get (Frailing rule – let go of the intention to receive, & replace it with the intention to give; we are all seeking self-worth)
- Live and let live (Transurfing rule – reject the pendulum rule of ‘Do as I do’; be authentic and let others be authentic too; never try to change someone; drop importance)
I reflected on how I had separated myself from mainstream expectations in many ways, not on philosophical grounds, but because of my inability to tolerate certain arenas of life (eg of mainstream workplaces) and because excessive jazz-handing had brought me such strong ‘balanced forces’ (eg breakdown), but that nonetheless I haven’t fully walked away from the edge of the arenas, or owned my own truth at full expression… How better can I work with the Give and Live principles I state above, in order to better connect to the intention of my heart?
Your reality is constantly a reflection of your relationship to your heart and it’s intention. When you feel like you are straining, it is because you are walking in the opposite direction to your heart’s intention. You can get quite addicted to that straining sensation, and mistake it for the feeling of Working Hard. Only, the heart doesn’t seek to Work Hard. The forces of opposition are those that lead you to believe the illusion that hard work leads to freedom. Learn, dear one, to associate ‘Straining’ with the fact that you are thus walking in the opposite direction of the way of your heart.
I genuinely feel that if I didn’t strain and hustle I would never get my work off the ground.
Lo ves? If you are honest, would you not admit that the best elements of your work have come to you indirectly, rather than as a direct result of your straining? In fact, we would even say that they have come to you ‘in spite of’ your straining.
But all the teachings say 1) intend 2) act.
Many of the teachings will tell you that the ‘acting’ should feel affirming of the ‘prayer answered’. Sometimes you might make the request for, say, ‘a castle’, and then start earnestly digging the soil in the wilderness to excavate your own stone…
Whereas you would suggest…?
Going for a stroll, so that you might stumble upon the castle.
Ah. I see.
It’s about trust, isn’t it? Trust that we don’t have to do it all ourselves. Not ‘desperately hoping’ or ‘prayerfully willing it’… It’s about the poised sense of trust. Breathing through the arising sensations, with an underlying trust.
I do have a tendency to try to control my reality. With efforting, jazz-handing, straining…
And your diligence is noted, loved, appreciated and adored, dear soul. Well done for all your steadfastness and stalwartness!
And now we are here to tell you that physics (quantum physics) works differently to the way you think it does. When you pour your energy (diligence) into the system, you are not in fact stoking the flames of the steam engine boiler, as you think you are doing. In fact, you are creating ‘noise in the system’, dissonance, disruption, contestation, excess potential. You are creating leaks in the energy loops – energetic hernias, if you like. You are busting the gut of the system. You are blowing the gaskets of the internal engines.
The true manifester of progress must lean back, lean out, like the sailor on the catamaran. This is trust. This is Gandhi meditating because there is so much to do. This is Churchill spending his wartime mornings in the bath. This is the seed spending time enough in the ground to put down roots. This is the tap root hitting the well of spring water.
‘Be still and know that you are God.’
Yes, trust. Trust in…?
Goodness. Wellness. Your self. The pure potential in every cell. The universe and its love for you.
Without my straining.
Exactly. And instead, letting go of control of the script or the plan… Let go, let go, let go. Give when you would get. Be true to yourself, and let others do likewise. Trust, on the wings of faith.
Ok, today I’ll work on the sensation of ‘letting go’. I’ll note when I’m straining, or trying to control the script, or efforting, or trying to pump-prime the system (and actually flooding it). I’ll work softly with the tipping-over feelings of ‘vertigo’ that arise when I let go. Thank you. I am so grateful for these dialogues.
Nice. When you are appreciative of, or grateful for, something, you release control, even if for a second. You cannot ‘be grateful’ and ‘in control’ at the same time. So, you can always call on ‘appreciation’ to assist you in letting do today. Think of Abraham-Hicks’ ‘rampage of appreciation’ – that is a good game to play for getting in the ‘letting go’ mode.
Awesome. Thank you. <3 <3 <3
Today I am letting go
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A reminder arose later on in the day, from this NDE account by Jason Henry on Medium: https://medium.com/s/near-death-experiences/my-friend-choked-me-out-i-had-to-make-a-choice-4a3f44d914f6 (see images below).
The story reminded me that dying is essentially the enforced letting go of those old illusory reins on reality, and finding that all you were chafing for was always already resolved. Everything was always perfect. It was the human holding-on-to-control (or straining to achieve that impossible thing) that was the barrier between heaven and not. So…. the act of consciously letting go of the reins is a way towards sensing that bliss of release into perfection that people report at death. You’re dying to the old to be born to the new. Heaven is a place on Earth, as Belinda Carlisle wisely asserted.
?
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Meditation:20 mins of MEDITATION? YES |
Exercise:ONE HOUR OF EXERCISE? NO #STEPS – very few |
Diet:BRAIN-MAKER DIET? NO DRY today? NO MORNING: My muesli, moussaka & veg & sauerkraut EVENING: Chicken, chips & beans (restaurant), V&DC, red wine, cider… (?!) |
Sleep:IN BED WITH MY BOOKS BY 10pm? NO – Sat night.. Screens off: 12 Lights out: 12 Wake up the next day: 8.30 Total sleep: 8h |