MEDS Day 51: Today I am switching attention ‘cleanly’

I am grateful for yesterday’s….

  • rewarding day-long mental health training for an animal rescue shelter <3
  • learning (for the training for animal carers) about Compassion Fatigue (= burnout + secondary (vicarious) trauma; on a par with PTSD) – yes, that’s what happened for me… Good to know that.
  • the feeling of competence and completion with the training
  • spending a day in conversation and mutual learning
  • overcoming the tough start to the day (Man, was I hungover??! Red wine = no good for me – even organic, even ‘just’ 2 glasses…)
  • gorgeous, brief evening with my Love – and delicious chips 🙂
  • last night’s dream = got shot at with blanks by passing strangers, 3 times in 24h. The third guy insisted he just wanted to be friends, and insisted on coming home with me, Ana and Susannah, under threat of his gun. We pretended to be ‘friends’ with him… Social predators and psychopaths…

The notion of self-kindness was useful. I asked myself,“If kindness relates to the way we would treat our ‘kin’, what would I want for (or, be happy to hear) in relation to my beautiful children?”:

  • Healthy, fit, exercised body
  • Stable income and good savings (not too agreeable)
  • Healthy consumption habits (good food, substance free, alcohol free/moderate)
  • Feeling optimistic / hopeful / excited about the future
  • Lovely partner, friends and strong family connections
  • Able to expand hearts out to others (Dalai Lama)

And then I asked myself the same question with regards to what I would want to hear for my father (in his early 80s) – “If kindness relates to the way we would treat our ‘kin’, what would I want for (or, be happy to hear) in relation to my lovely father?”:

  • Feeling surrounded (by family, friends, network, professional services)
  • Knowing ‘what will happen’ – for peace of mind (eg in the event of loss of capacity, at end of life, after death – as far as it’s possible to plan) – to have had the Conversations
  • Peace in the ‘legacy’ theme

So, may I give these things to myself as an act of self-kindness, and also to spare my ‘kin’ concerns (that I know I would have if these things weren’t in place for them).

This is the work of the next phase of life, dear Soul. There is much softness and care to bring to yourself. 

It was helpful learning about Compassion Fatigue. What a great term. Why did no-one point this out to me?! Of course I would develop it as an Aspie single parent of two children with special needs etc. Why did no one say?!

Maybe you can ‘say’ to others, dear one. 

Yes. I will. And I will talk about Self-Kindness.

Good. Where?

Here. 🙂 And there. :))

Excellent. There’s nothing like a SMART target. :))

And that was nothing like a SMART target! Hahaha..!

This morning is a home-working day. I’m playing Switch202020 again (since 7am) – it’s so good. It’s helped me: break up the morning; not get stuck in brain-zone in bed – though I’ve come back to bed each time; do meditation on the stool (counts as ‘up’);  tidy my work space; clear the kitchen; do 3 writing slots…  It links so well with the Reality Transurfing insight which inspired my (our) game (summarised here, page 608): “To “come off the needle” you have to switch your attention and occupy your mind with something else, changing the scripts and scenery.

[PIC of page 608 and FFP]

I’ve got a way of playing Switch20 – basically, after each 20 mins, you are either getting up, or sitting down, right? So now I have a song to sing aloud for each Switch:

Get up = Get up, get on up, get on the scene…. (James Brown)

Sit down = Get down on it…. (Look and the Gang)

Nice! And how successful are you at Switching? 

Ha, apart from right now when I’ve run into the next slot… pretty good! The trick is to write (in the Planner) what you are doing for the next 20 mins before you do it, and then review it (smiley face etc) at the end. You’ve got to stick to the task at hand. In this way, this game is so good for retraining the attention – a) to switch as bidden and b) to stay ‘on task’. As RT (p608) says, we are ever-seeking to wake up and heighten awareness of ‘what’s happening’: “Awareness: in this moment I am awake and am clearly aware of what I am doing, why and why in this manner specifically.

Today is a big day: I’ve a whole training package to complete today, and it’s on suicide prevention. Need to get it spot on.

Switch20 will really assist you to achieve this. 

Cool. So, today?

Today is about switching attention (every 20 mins) in an increasingly ‘clean and clear’ way. It’s about ‘dropping’ the task at hand, and picking up the next – with a smooth, thorough segue. In other words, being sure to use the planner. Why? The body and mind will learn to sense and remain present to the span of 20 minutes. It will sense the apogee of each Switch Slot, and learn to ride in to and out of it. 

Ok. Excellent. I like the sound of that. I was struck by a father’s description of his daughter’s PDA on the radio this morning: like being stuck in a car with a wasp, wanting to flee it, or fight it…. just as anyone would in that actual situation… but being at that height of emotion all the time. Switching attention is so good for taking the ‘sympathetic nervous system’ mind off ‘the wasp’… Just practising redirecting the mind/ thinking away from a) the desirable/stimmy/suck-me-in stuff, and b) the amgydala-hijack, fight/flight material. Excellent.

So, today I am switching attention cleanly and clearly?

‘Cleanly’ is fine. 

Today I am switching attention ‘cleanly’

MEDITATION? YES – 15 min – on the stool – – lovely 

EXERCISE? YES – 10 mins of twitches

#STEPS – 500… inside all day

DIET – BRAIN-MAKER DIET?  NEARLY 🙂 Not bad at all. Homecooked for several days now, and that makes all the difference.

DRY today? NO – 1 G&T (with diet tonic)

MORNING: Coffee with cream; my muesli; carrot soup&kale&chicken; tea

EVENING: White fish, some chips, kale, G&T

SLEEP – IN BED WITH MY BOOKS BY 10pm? NO – working til late

Screens off:  12.15        Lights out: 12.30

Wake up the next day:         5.15!           Total sleep: 4.45h :// last day of long week


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