An intense yet beautiful day yesterday. I found it helpful to bring together the knowledge of ‘I am loved’ alongside the internal strains around supporting my father to share his brilliant work (not to mention endless technical difficulties). Eventually we were able do a recording – I felt my heart just opening up and soaring as he spoke with such genius and eloquence in front of the recording devices. At the end, he said he might cry… It was terribly moving. He is such an extraordinary thinker. We even managed to upload the recording to Soundcloud. Amazing. Did I feel loved? Yes, I did. In Dad’s own inimitable way. Much of the love was expressed in his… trusting me with his thoughts, concerns, worries, yearnings. Thank you, darling Dad, for that trust.
And this morning, I woke up to a text from my beloved youngest – the much longed for ‘first text of the new term at uni’. Yes – the cycle of love is all bound up in the generations.
So, today. A restful working day at home. I’ve taken time to reflect on the MEDS protocols again.
MEDITATION: use Quiet Time with coffee in the morning as my time of reflection, inspiration, writing, reading, prayer. Some of this is formal sitting meditation, but much of it is about building ‘loving awareness’ (Ram Dass) of what is through interacting with the written word, and settling/directing my thinking-mind, and settling my state of consciousness.
EXERCISE: yesterday as I was puffing through Day 16 of the 30 Day Yoga Challenge with the wonderful Adriene, it dawned on me that, with the return of adrenal fatigue again (really since Dec), maybe even yoga is just too much for my body to accommodate without sending out stress signals. in other words, the yoga may be leaning on my adrenals, and ironically, thus making me fatter and more inflamed. But I love the variety of the 30 day challenge – it overcame the issue I had of trying to chose a qigong video every day. I suddenly thought – surely someone has done a 30 day Qigong Challenge?! And yes! I like this guy already. Going to start his challenge today. Thanks for everything this month, Adriene – maybe I’ll be back!
I’ve created a tracker I can use to note the day’s exercise each day:
DIET: My aim this month is to get my head (and impulsiveness) around Intermittent Fasting. I’m going to get The Obesity Code as an audiobook when my phone arrives (ordered one today at last!!!). I had this idea to just start becoming aware of my eating window, with the principles of:
- ‘delay don’t deny’
- hunger is often thirst
- my kidneys and adrenal glands need rest, detoxing and bolstering
- water/broth/bouillon/tea/electrolytes/ACV instead of food is generally more than fine!
- late night snacking became a thing…
- Dr Bergman has coffee with cream and other liquids until 1.30 – and actually I think that might work for me
- just need to check that delaying breakfast isn’t putting unnecessary strain on my kidneys [DRINK THE DRINKS (in the morning – not just coffee) and it won’t be a strain at all!]
- my new tracker will be a good aid:
The thing about printed trackers dotted around the house is they both remind me visually when I’m at certain, associated spots in the house, and they give me instant kinaesthetic feedback when I fill them in. Also, for the Obliger type (low internal accountability; high external accountability) – the tracker acts as a gentle kind of SEA (system of external accountability).
SLEEP: I’m spinning on 6h30… You know, I think S is for STRESS as much as SLEEP. Stress reduces my ability to sleep. They are intertwined. I need to arrange my worklife so it is less stressy, like G’s. He works from home 95% of the time. He is not darting from place to place losing energy. Time to get the Acuity Scheduling sorted for offering my online services. It’s nearly there!
Well this is all nice and productive. Today’s messages?
Good work, dear soul. Do you ever get the sense that messages are trying to get in, and you are busy pushing them away?
Not really. I try to be open to them.
What about the ones which would leave you feeling like Lady Godiva riding naked through the town?
Hm… Yeah I maybe do dodge those ones.
That is the cause of your stress.
What?! Oh my lordy be… What is this funny old world like?!!
Lady Godiva rode naked through the streets of Coventry ‘to gain a remission of the oppressive taxation that her husband imposed on his tenants’. In other words, in your language, she ‘took one for the team’. The term Peeping Tom comes from that incident, when a man called Tom looked out at her passing by. But mostly, people looked away as she passed, to protect her dignity, and honour her sacrifice.
And this is to say…?
Mostly, no one looks, stares, or points when we do something for the greater good. But fearing ‘the reaction of others’ is what paralyses most people from acting altruistically. You feel ‘naked’ when you do something for the greater good. But in reality, that feeling is just your self-consciousness (aka ego) making noise to distract you from your actual (soul’s) purpose.
So, what things am I dodging doing out of a fear of feeling naked and exposed? Let’s revise this please.
Ask yourself.
I am! 😀 Ok…. Let’s go inside…. What things am I dodging doing out of a fear of feeling naked and exposed….?
Publishing and Marketing come to mind. It’s hardly securing the remission of taxes for the townsfolk… but these matters do hit that sweetspot of ‘should do but it feels like high risk self-exposure’….
Bingo. A worker’s work is to be worked ‘out there’…
I’m hearing the encouragement. Maybe I need another tracker, for the daily ‘Publish/Marketing’ work. Tbh, my new phone will help. It’s been hard to be ‘out there’ with a phone that is so full it can’t accommodate apps like LinkedIn, Twitter, IG, FB, WordPress… It’s just got to be part of the morning ritual hasn’t it? That’s what worked before… And while I was doing Plan/Publish/Yesterbox even before the Quiet Time hour, I think I’ll shove it into the working part of the day now – this is my Work Morning Ritual kick off.
Current Morning Ritual:
- Kitchen – coffee, machines, supplement, lunch planned, straighten up
- QT – Quiet Time – writing, reading, meditation (aka Inspo hour – I know, but it fits..)
- Body Hour – 30 mins Qigong; 30 mins Shower/dress
- Office Hour – Plan, publish, yesterbox, finances
- Lunch
Focus gently on being ‘out there’ today, dear soul. You have worked so hard on being ‘in there’. It’s just brilliant, and we see you shining and radiant and internally peaceful. Now, it’s time to be ‘out there’ shining your light in the world. Ok? It’s not just about money and earning – why should it be when your work is now geared so obviously towards helping others? But it is about riding confidently through the streets so the people who need help can find you. Be brave. Be out there.
Today I am focussing gently on being ‘out there’