Pivot 81: I am welcoming dignity home

To the one whose forgiveness I hadn’t dared ask

Bless you for your words of kindness

Thank you for your stubbornness

Never letting the connection go

Until truths had been uttered

Not abroad as dreaded

But to one another

With mutual care

With love



Exceptional heart coherence occurred yesterday. Just as I started a session with my therapist, I got a notification of a message from someone whose mere remembrance brought up in me a tsunami of unhealed grief, which poured out in the session. I explored my painfully-long defensive silence-keeping, and the fear of ‘detonation’ – and came to the insight that it was better to ‘speak my truth’ than hold silence in future.

Later, I opened the message to find these incredibly poignant and beautiful words:

Hello, my cousin just died because of Covid. He spent a month in intensive care fighting for his life, but finally, it took his life. It saddens me, as is normal, but it also makes me think that we should take advantage of the opportunities we have been given. I want to start by telling people I care of, that I love them and to those I have wronged, that I am sorry. Therefore, here you go: I hope you know you are important to me and always will be. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I hope you are healthy and happy and enjoying life as much as possible with your family and loved ones. I hope you’ll be happy until the end of your days. If you ever need me, know that I am here for you, now and always. I send you lots of love and hugs. X

This message triggered an exchange of healing messages between us, full of unconditional care and acceptance. I was able to express appreciation, gratitude and remorse for hurt caused. I wrote ‘Please forgive me’ and received the reply ‘There is nothing to forgive.’ I cried and cried, both with grief and with relief and astonishment. You can hold on to guilt and shame for so many years, and a truthful conversation based on human love overrides those toxic vice grips. I too was able to forgive and reassure. I feel dignity returning, to us both. With renewed trust, I feel liberated from my impulse to hide below the parapet. What a miraculous unfurling. Thank you. May all rest in peace.


What is the learning for today? How can I build on this gift received, for the good of me, and of all?

Liberation is an expansive feeling. Feel it. Feel it and bask in it in full appreciation. Like a bear coming out of hibernation after a long winter, take time to stretch your muscles and replenish your cells with nourishment. The darkness of winter really is subsiding. Knowing this helps you to receive the light of the spring and the warmth of the summer. Go ‘outside’ in to the wide world again. This time with service and wisdom. Take this dignity returned to you, and use it, for good. 

Yes. There is power and vitality in dignity. Uprightness. I would like to wear uprightness again.

It has always been yours. Forgiveness heals, doesn’t it? Support others to forgive each other, truly. 

Wow. Yes. Thank you.

Forgiveness is where reconciliation unleashes liberation. Broker forgiveness amongst the unforgiven and you will do well in your dear self. 

Oh course. I forget that. My work is the work not just of peace, but of forgiveness… Forgiveness of the unforgiven… Mutually usually, as this is not RJ… Mutual forgiveness. There’s gold there… Ah, and self-forgiveness…

Compassion says, ‘Finding where our vulnerability lies is the route to supporting others in their vulnerability. Reach into vulnerability. There is good work to be done there.’

Thank you. Vulnerability is the human condition really, isn’t it?

Vulnerability is the crucible of human learning. Love it. Tend it. Free it from its chains. 

Ty. Today…

Today be at peace with this new feeling of liberation, and the welcoming home of dignity. Feel your dignity at last, and bask in it. Cherish it. 

If you can truly embrace the feeling of dignity returning home, you will be keyed in to the gift awaiting those whom you help to reach mutual forgiveness – and ultimately to enter in to self-forgiveness. They will be able to welcome their dignity home too. 

Forgiveness leads to self-forgiveness leads to dignity returning home…

Tysm. xxxx

 I am welcoming dignity home


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