Pivot 104: Today I am asking myself: how can I contribute helpfully to this time?

BLM sign on village bench

I’m listening.

Use your energy, attention and effort with care and wisdom today. For two reasons: 1) there is important Work to be done and 2) your fascination with machinations lends creative weight to them. 

Stop looking at Twitter..?

If you are going to lend your attention to social media, start first with a prayer. 

I see. That would make for a different state of consciousness.

Yesterday… I was aware of scenes of which one would say, love is rising up.




Equally, certain pro-racist ones are getting ready to come and take revenge in London next week, on, eg the defacing of a Churchill statue with the word racist. Everyone’s coming forward now..


My beautiful AS put a homemade BLM sign up in our village on the bench by the road. I went with her to help put it up. I appreciated that she invited me to participate – I needed to break a barrier of inactivity there…

BLM sign on village bench

Please speak to me of this time.

Use your attention wisely. Be wise. Mature your vision. Become more aware, and then yet again more aware. You are conscious of your privilege. Use it wisely. Do not use your place in the peanut gallery to stir up and magnify disharmony. Exercise caution with the way you use your time and attention. Ask: how can I contribute helpfully to this time? Ask yourself that. From all your knowledge, experience and professional expertise, what can you actually DO to contribute to this time? Can you do more than point to injustice, retweeting content as if to fetishise it? Can you lend your weight to the growing body of skills around speaking and acting beyond the current structures? How can you share your understanding of dialogue to promote the wellbeing of all? 

I could…

Dear one, go away and think about it today. No rush… But come back with a some reality-checked thoughts that you are prepared to enact. 

ok. ty.

Today I am asking myself: how can I contribute helpfully to this time?


Pivot 103: Today I am affirming: Love is Rising UP

Forgive me, for I have been a channel of disharmony.

You have spoken your truth. 

With emotion – and some anger.

You have spoken your truth, and made your request clear. 

I need to feel that others can Listen. To me. Without flinching, recoiling, trying to escape.

The fact of the matter is that you know how to speak so people (or a person) will listen. Are you able to reflect that you have the power to be heard? 

Yes. Why do I always have to be ‘on top of’ my emotions though? Why is that on me?

Because that is how good communication works. The emotions are action-requiring messages for you – not for the person apparently triggering those emotions. So work with the emotion, and respond to it, in your own time – and then approach the person. For example:  Anger = I need better boundaries. So don’t go rushing up to the person you’re angry with and demand they respect your boundaries! Instead, take time to understand your boundaries, and establish them internally. Then come back to the person, and see how – automatically in response to your internal shift – they behave differently towards you. And if you find the shift hasn’t occurred, go away again and work on your boundaries. This is what it means to be on top of your emotions. 

Was I jealous?

What is the message of jealousy? 

I need to feel valued / valuable?

Jealousy is certainly the need to clarify our value. It’s about self-appreciation. If you appreciation yourself fully, you will never feel jealous. 

Thank you.

Can we pick up from last session?

One note: the work you are doing with Hunter on your hara is good. Radiating energy or feminine magnetism from your hara is good. Why? Because it is the final piece on the jigsaw of head – heart – hara. And when these three are aligned, you can bring your full self to the world – which is what is needed of all individuals now. 

I see the BLM protestors really acting from their head – heart – hara: fully-embodied, fully in the love state, fully activated.

The BLM song-singers are a wonder to behold. Love is rising up. 

Love IS rising up! It is so moving and powerful. So here we are, talking about envisaging PULL on Earth. WHAT is happening?

Love is rising up. Not merely intellectually, from the head. Nor even just passionately, from the heart. But with fully embodied ‘eros’, from the hara. That magnetic ‘love for all’ is flowing through the peoples of this world. They have paused and rested under lockdown and recovered some sense of identity having taken time off the hamster wheel; they have faced the fear of death as they wonder if they will be affected by the virus; they have fallen on their knees with gratitude towards the key workers; they have awoken to the true intentions of their governments; they have found themselves energised to spring forth from their lockdown isolation with… not just anger, or righteous indignation, or wrath… but with newly activated CLARITY in their heads, LOVE in their hearts, and MAGNETIC ENERGY in their hara. This is an uprising of Love. 

Immense. Immense! This really is the day we have been waiting for.

Unity is no easy matter on this planet of judgment. 

We needed something as all consuming as a pandemic to get clear on the injustices and broken systems we were living by.

Better than that. You needed something as all-consuming as a pandemic to discover that nothing is more important than Love for All. 

May I contribute?

You don’t need to ask for this, but you can pray for it.

May I contribute to this Uprising of Love. May I play my part in feeding the flames of burning Love-for-All. May I lend my head – heart – hara to this explosion of Love towards all beings. May I lean in to the joy of this Moment, and put my magnifying attention only upon those green shoots of planetary healing, and magnificent oak trees of long-standing love. May I see only Love – and may I know in my bones that where I see disharmony, anger and wrong-doing that I am merely watching the old rising up before it collapses fades out. May I magnify Love & Unity wherever I see it, knowing that Love is the invincible Creative Force. May I stand for Love. May I hold a candle, a torch and spot-light up to all that stands for Love. May I not retreat into fear, but turn my consternation in to confidence that Love is rising up as it has always done. Peace, unity, love and light. Now and forever.

Amen, sweet soul. Beautifully expressed. Your heart is starting to pulsate to the divine drum. You are being liberated from old concerns. Shrug them off, and move into the dance of life – from your hara up. This is the day of the divine feminine to meet with the divine masculine. Draw forward all the magnetic energy you have and radiate it into the world as you most powerfully can. Eyes on the prize. Love is rising up. 

Today, your work is ‘simply’ – but with head – heart – hara – to affirm this knowing. Simply affirm with all that you are, that Love Is Rising Up on this planet, in this Day. Affirm it, see, it, feel it, hear, it, speak it. Encourage the young, reassure the not so young. Everything is hand. Lend your creative manifestation to this timeless truth: Love is Rising UP.

Got it. Thank you! Amen.

Today I am affirming: Love is Rising UP



Pivot 102: I am visualising peace, unity, love and light on Earth

I’ve spent 3 days away from here, getting my head down with ‘working well’ (it’s been busy and fulfilling and rewarding) and keeping my balance around the glimpses I catch of the current situation ‘out there’. Clearly, I am advised not to go into detail here, but I will say that there are traumatising scenes out there, and I’m not just talking about the worldwide protests (being hijacked by white looters and agitators btw), or even the horrifying testimonial black people are sharing about their lived experience which has had me in tears of grief and shock on a daily basis…  When I talk about traumatising scenes, I’m especially talking about watching the ‘people in power’ and their actions/mood at the moment – not just with regards to Black Lives Matter, but it is also about witnessing the UK govt as it profiteers out of Covid-19 and Brexit. There is some truly unbelievable psychopathy playing out.

For now, I will just leave this video which is a well-expressed snapshot on this time:


Ok. I’ve drawn a line under that.

You asked me to Work Well. I have been endeavouring to. Other learning has included:

  • ‘Go intuitive’ – arising out of profound and helpful therapy session looking at why I experience exhaustion.
  • Asking What Would Tramaine Do? As I work with the Coaching course I’m doing on ‘Queens’ Mysteries’ – Tramaine Hawkins is the role model I’m working with. She is a heart-centred channel of love and healing light. She always holds others and God up as the blessings in her life. She shines the spotlight on others, and God… at every step. So much heart, and humility, and power.
  • A sense of the Hara (lower dantian) in alignment with Heart and Head.

But also, powerfully yesterday on my walk listening to Abraham-Hicks, a helpful notion came heaving in to view at last. I noted it down:

What will happen when… I stop making myself the protagonist or sole/main beneficiary of my visioning / secreting / magnifying of the wanted. 
I‘m a powerful manifestor / creator. So let me see:
– good care homes for all
– weapons sliding off the planet into outer space
– a city of dialogue…
Your thoughts?
This is the most important insight you have had since you began the Pivot project. It is the Pivot you were asking for. 
What do you mean?
At the start of this project, you asked for peace (in your Aspie zen zone). We can confirm and affirm that there is no other more effective route to peace for you than ceasing to make yourself the main protagonist of your hopes and dreams. 
That’s kind of funny… and not.
Why? Because you think your Autism is Auto-ism, or self-ism? 
I think others think that… That’s the irony?
Indeed. That is the irony of autism. And you know this. Autism is a misnomer. Autistic people are so sensitively wired towards the precious Other, towards the divine Collective, that when the other and the collective is in disharmony, the autistic person feels it to the core and needs must retreat… until… until… until… they can grow tall enough above the sensory discomfort and heartache to see more clearly what is ‘happening’. At that point they start to become wonderfully, recklessly empowered to contribute to improving, mediating and resolving the situation. But they must grow tall in the sense of being able to ‘rise above’ the noise of low frequency. They must float up into a frequency of ‘harmony’ and resonate there. Otherwise they are too easily swept up and soaked by the apparent troubles. No teflon effect for the autistic being when stuck in the melee of it all, unlike some of those tough NT folks who actually find the melee enlivening.
So ‘rising above’ is not about being superior, or turning one’s back. It’s about – as you discerned in your therapy session – turning on the intuition, and aligning hara-head-heart. THEN you can be of service. And THEN, oh my, oh yes… you will be able to bask in the peace arising from sensing a more harmonious world. Not because all the ‘problems’ will be solved… but because you will be dancing to the tune of the harmonious path, not for your own benefit (no isolationism needed now), but for the benefit of all, which then becomes your benefit too. 
It’s an act of faith isn’t it? To put our eggs in the basket of the All.. when the One (me) can seem fragile and vulnerable, and the All can seem like chaos?
It’s an act of faith when you believe there are limitations in life, and love and light… Try it. Practise it, and you will never ever go back to creating selfish dreams… You will finally truly get it. The only progress is collective progress. 
This is the basis of the Black Live Matter message. This is the message of this time.
Keep your eyes on the prize, people! Imagine if your hopes and dreams – conscious and unconscious – shifted away from ‘my work, my progress, my business, my relationships, my finances’ and towards ‘our work, our progress, our business, our relationships, our finances’. Think of the prayer power here: there is no limit to the magnitude of miracles! 
 “There is no order of difficulty in miracles. One is not ‘harder’ or ‘bigger’ than another. They are all the same. All expressions of love are maximal.” ACIM T-1.I.1:1-4 Principle 1 (excerpt)
Invest your conscious creation (prayer power / Secreting / visualisation) in the greater good – with focus and lightness and softness and joy! Right here, right now – playfully. 
Remember ‘Heal the world’? Now is a time for a different message: see the world as healed! Use your creative energy to imagine your planet fully immersed in peace, unity, love and light! Draw it, illustrate it, talk about it – passim! 
Trust, sweet soul, who must learn the strength of her own creative consciousness, that if you surrender your intuitive instincts to the GREATER good, instead of your personal good – you will, truly, precious being, find the peace your sweet Heart and Soul have been hankering after all this ‘time’. 
There is only Now. 
Gotcha. 🙂 Ty. May I – no, may WE – all have the courage and confidence and calmness required, to sit quietly with images of beauty, peace, unity, love and light on our mental cinema screens. May we be brave enough to walk out of the screening of the Nightmare on Elm St showing on our TV screens and devices, and settle once and for all, in to the screening of Peace on Earth in the other (much comfier) movie theatre down the hallway.
I am.. I am.. I am visualising peace, unity, love and light on Earth.
I am visualising peace, unity, love and light on Earth

Pivot 101: I am doing my work, well

Later after the last Dialogue, things got really shocking in the US – with the police turning on #BlackLivesMatter protestors with vicious brutality. I found myself limping through the day, tearful and shocked. I went to chat it through with AS, who was quick to draw my attention to the fact that my shock and my emotional paralysis were simply not the best I had to offer to this situation. I was gently woken up to the fact that it was not for me – a white person – to sit and simper (my word not AS’s) about how shocking and sad it all was. It was for me – a white person – to shake myself out of the centre-staging of myself in response to what I saw, and take action. This is not a black people’s problem to solve – it’s a white people’s problem to take radical and transformative action on, now.

Here I am two days on, and I want to record here on this day (2jun20), that the Western world is in uproar, with protests occurring in cities across the world. The US president appears to be invoking a civil war. The police brutality in the States is unspeakable – it’s become a police state in the space of a few days. Hong Kong is on the brink of being swallowed up by China entirely, despite a year of protests against such an event. Ebola has risen its head again in DRCongo. And in the UK, where we have the highest death rate in the world for Covid-19 deaths, we have just eased lockdown way ahead of time – and yesterday, we saw a rise in deaths again which the government then sought to cover up.

So, tell me more about envisaging harmonious futures, because I have struggled over the last few days.

Compassion. What is your definition of compassion? 

Well, I’ve been defining it as ‘seeking to prevent and alleviate suffering’.

So when your wise girl tells you that this is a time for action, she means it is a time for compassion. As she pointed out to you, it’s easy for empathic people like your self to get frozen to the spot by the felt reaction to what is going on. But as you know, ’empathy’ is a better response than ‘pity’ or ‘sympathy’, but it’s a less helpful response than ‘compassion’, because it is compassion that evokes ‘action to prevent and alleviate suffering’. First of all, you need to see the suffering and potential suffering. Go in and calm your Heart first. 

***15mInnerBalance Med – 45% high coherence – 2.1 av coherence***


One of my worst Inner Balance practices. I’m wired. My Heart is jumping today… Help please. 

So you go on Reddit to calm down? 

It was up from yesterday… I don’t usually. Hey, can we start again?

Always and whenever. 

What do I need to do to reboot today?

Literally start over. A brand new day. 

I woke at 5.30… I’m a bit tired. And over-wrought.

Literally start over. 

Good morning.

Good morning. Turn on maintenance mode. Ok. A word in private. You need to stop feeling you are here to commentate on world events. You really are not. You need to stop writing for an audience. Stop that right now. You are here to study and to learn. This is a serious business. Stop writing it for the ‘Gram. Or writing to appear awake to ‘what is going on’. We see you wanting to talk about your privilege as an albatross round your neck. Stop that now. You have gifts and talents from creative Source. Your job is to cultivate them. Nothing else. Give unto this world that which you have to give – whatever it is. Focus on that and not on the chaos you believe you see out there.

The truth is this: you don’t know what you are looking at when you look out there. You simply don’t. It is not as you ‘think’ it to be. Take that as truth. It is far, far, far more complex than what you are reading as ‘reality’ upon your screens. It is also far, far, far, far more simple. The simplicity is this: run your well-organised clinic, and do your Work. Work for PULL, and do not be pulled away from that by your own thoughts of ‘tragedy’. If you were able to see the fuller picture, we’d say, ‘yeah, sure, tuck in – look at that, and chat about it’. But here’s the thing: your perspective of your world at this time is as broad as the dandelion’s view of the world. It can only see the garden – so it is not really well-placed to commentate on the city down the road. 

So, pipe down?

So relax… Draw in… Get heart-centred. Do your work. And do it to the very best of your ability. That really is enough to use up all your day’s energy and more. Be good at what you do. That is your best, kindest and most compassionate offering to your vibrational landscape right now – especially if you take joy, relief and pleasure in your work. Respond to this time with heart-centred wisdom, in the space of your own home. Do your work, well. 

Ty. Helpful. I’m grateful.

This is your STO. Focus on it. Let others do theirs. Do your work, and do it well. Apply diligence, care, humility and passion to what you do. Take nothing for granted. Appreciate every single opportunity to make a difference in this world. While you still have breath in you to contribute even a flutter of good, cease lamenting the wrongs and ills of others. Stop that now. Do your work, well. And know what you are doing: making a difference. Be grateful for that. Be humble. Be diligent. Be heart-centred as you go. Do your work, to the very best of your abilities, clear and centred on what you are seeking to contribute. 

Tysm. xxx

Today, I am doing my work, well.