After the MEDS Project, I asked myself what brings about the Peak experiences of life. This project launched me into an unexpected and nurturing journey with the Taoist key work, The Tao Te Ching, upon which my therapeutic journaling enquiries became pivotal. Welcome to The Peak Project.
Playing with latent possibilities was important and helpful.
When I got stuck with something and was wheel-spinning to make it happen, I said to myself, “On the bright side, it’s possible that…” – and I heard the sentence completed with phrases like:
I’ve moved on from this
I’m in a new paradigm now
This is no longer relevant to me
I’m free from this now
Very releasing. Very affirming. Very consoling.
So. We’re going on holiday today. We’ve found a cottage, just a couple of hours drive away, near the sea and the moors. Astonishingly, with one last push this morning, I will finish my work mountain. I’m so glad and relieved and proud of all that has been covered in the last two weeks.
Let’s read.
-20- How great is the difference between “yea” and “yeah”? How great is the distinction between “good” and “evil”? Must I fear what others fear? How silly! Everyone else is joyous as if enjoying the greatest feast, or going up the terraces in spring. I alone am drifting without direction, like a baby who has not yet smiled. I alone am moping as if I had no home. Everyone else has more than they need, I alone seem in want. I have the mind of a fool, how confused I am! Other people are bright and clever, I alone am dark. Other people are alert and self-assured, I alone am dull and muddled. I am unsettled like the waves of the sea, like the restless wind. Everyone else has a purpose, I alone am stubborn and awkward. I am different from other people, Even so, I am nourished by the Great. (Tao Te Ching Chap 20)
Such a change of tone – anguished! Stenudd says it’s considered this may not even be Lao Tzu’s writing.
But I can go with this line happily: I am different from other people, Even so, I am nourished by the Great. Or even simply: I am nourished by the Great. What’s the thinking on this then, dear Soul? What is my learning today?
It’s vital, the mid-DoD Med, isn’t it? To tune in to you. I’d lost that a bit, since stopping hand-writing my diaries. Ok, so what I found arising in the meditation was this: I am nourished by No-Thing
Nu? What would you have me know, dear heart of my soul, dear soul of my heart? Educate me this day.
The reading for today speaks of how the writer watches those people who are thrilled by their physical life: ‘Everyone else is joyous as if enjoying the greatest feast, or going up the terraces in spring.’
Or going on holiday by the seaside in August…!
…Which shall be deeply enjoyed by you – not because of the ‘things to do’ but, as G says, because of the ‘nothing to do’. No thing to do. So you are being invited this day to embrace the ‘No-Thing’ to do. Unhook the urgency turbo charge, decommission the accelerator pedal, redirect your eyes inward at the very same time as they are richly delighted by the outward..
So, hang on… The sights, the activities, the sea-walks, the blustery moors, the ‘cream cakes’. Are they to be dismissed..?
No! Now, you know that already. You know that they bring delight because they are the Always-So! On holiday, you are dipping into the Always-So with no purpose, or perhaps more easily understood, no ‘agenda’. On holiday, there is no money to be earned, to end to be achieved, no people to meet or impress. This is nourishing. The No-Thing of holiday is sweet, innocent, rich, precious, flowing – Tao-y. Bring the No-Thing of Holiday home with you, and you will see how much easier, smoother and heartier your everyday life becomes.
Ok. Cool! I hear you. I see you. Here goes No-Thing! 🙂
I LOVE playing OTBS (On the Bright Side). For example:
I haven’t done my talk for tonight! OTBS: It’s nearly ready, because I actually did it before.
I haven’t got enough time today! OTBS: I have sometime. I can order things.
It’s past my bedtime! OTBS: I’m spending extremely special time with loved ones.
My family are now all messaging me to ask if I’m ok because I’m not responding to the 1000s of messages! OTBS: I’ve been offline because I’ve been busy with work. They care and I can be in touch lightly today.
I’m losing my morning to work commitments again! OTBS: This will encourage me to say ‘No’ to things in future.
I’m still in my pyjamas! OTBS: No one can see me. I could even stay like this all day.
I can’t get everything done before I go away next week! OTBS: I probably can get most of it done, super-efficiently, if I stack it by priority.
When I have OTBS as an instant ‘go to’ remedy when I have glum thoughts, I can almost always get a shift upwards. It’s a real help.
So, what new today?
-19- Stop being learned and your troubles will end. Give up wisdom, discard cleverness, and the people will benefit a hundredfold. Give up benevolence, discard moral judgements, and the people will rediscover natural compassion. Give up shrewdness, discard gain, and thieves and robbers will disappear. These three false adornments are not enough to live by. They must give way to something more solid. Look for what is simple and hold onto the Uncarved Block. Diminish thoughts of self and restrain desires. (Tao Te Ching Chap 19)
Say whaat?! Give up learnedness, wisdom, benevolence and shrewdness?!
Diminish thoughts of self? “Me-me-me-me?!” Yup…. I could do with that.
Restrain desires? Yes… I’m getting some shift there…
What about looking for what is simple? I’ve been working on this…
Tell me about holding onto ‘the Uncarved Block.’
The Uncarved Block is a key aspect of Taoism. Imagine the stereotypical art critic or culture lover admiring a spectacular statue. Consider how they view this singular piece as elevated above others. Consider how their enjoyment is based on the sense of exclusivity and finesse they are bearing witness to. Now imagine the philosopher standing over a block of stone. The philosopher is almost moved to tears by the spectrum of possibilities and wonders that the uncarved block evokes. What is the difference in tone of those two vignettes?
They are both about wonder. It’s just that the latter is about latent possibility. The former is about perfection of execution. There’s no further possibility available to it. In fact the statue is marvellous in its uniqueness, its fragility, its ephemeral nature, and the shadow of memories which it casts.
‘Latent possibility.’ Beautiful. This.
Today, you might incorporate such a notion into playing OTBS, with the inclusion of the word, ‘possibly‘ or ‘possible‘.
[xyz!] On the bright side, possibly… [abc]
[xyz!] On the bright side, it’s possible that… [abc]
Ok. Wonderful. eg:
“I’ve got too much on! OTBS, possibly this strained feeling is teaching me how to get serious about limiting what I agree to.”
“I’m not dressed or exercised! OTBS, it’s possible to develop a condensed version of these activities in the next hour before I open the shop.”
Yes. I like playing with the sense of positive possibility.
-18- When the great Tao is forgotten, benevolence and moral codes arise. When shrewdness and cleverness appear, great hypocrisy follows. When there is no harmony in the family, filial manners are developed When the country is in disorder, ministers appear as loyal servants. (Tao Te Ching Chap 18)
So this dude, Stefan Stenudd, is a prolific and fantastically knowledgable writer on Taoism and explains (here) that when Tao rules, no rules, codes, contracts, manners or appearances of protocol are required, because there is no struggle over favour, leadership, right/wrong.
It’s somewhat tough for those of us whose main achievement in life was learning the rules, the manners and the courtly ways of society…
You are being ironic, but you are heard. It’s hard to step down from a system of societal and interpersonal ‘signalling’, if that is the code you have been given for showing love, respect, deference and obedience.
What do I need to know today then? I’ve got so much to do, am running a little behind, and have both a case on today, and a talk to give in the evening… I’m a bit super-charged, under-charged, and affected by the autumnal weather. On the bright side, a green woodpecker (and latterly a robin) spent the morning hopping around the garden. And last night friends came over and we rehearsed our band music. And in the afternoon, my car got mended. And I had a successful mediation meeting.
OTBS. Yes! On The Bright Side. This little phrase gave you excellent strength and courage in much tougher days than these.
Yes, it sure did. And, OTBS, I did love being nourished by the Always-So yesterday – I guess I just need a bit of a break from this intense work to really be able to restore and retreat…
And OTBS I’m not that fly stuck buzzing in a spider’s web on the window beside me, with the spider prodding at it……..
OTBS. OTBS is an antidote to trying to leverage a rules-based system to manage difficulty. Rules, manners, efforts – they are all ‘external-seeking’ solutions. OTBS allows you to dip into the inner well and be reminded that there is a happy, positive, uplifting, nourishing, healing perspective to all you experience. All you experience. Isn’t that mind-blowing?! And, you know it to be true, don’t you?
In fact I do… But it’s been hard-won knowledge.
So treasure that hard-won knowledge! Hold it to your heart! The Tao is really a protocol which says, ‘All Is Well – and if you don’t know that deeply and simply within your mind and being, you haven’t finished looking and learning.’ So, why not start pondering that kooky concept, ‘All Is Well’, by Looking OTBS?
Ok. Thank you. OTBS will be my practice today.
Today, may I look ever on the bright side where All Is Well. May all beings find the bright side to their current travails. May those fabricating appearances of order, superiority, care, kindness, concern learn the advantages of simplicity, truth and authenticity. May we all grow stronger in our ability to embrace the all that is, confident that we are not merely dispensable to the universe, but rather, deeply loved and ever-cherished. On the bright side, on the bright side, on the bright side… May the bright side shimmer and glisten before our eyes as we adjust to its glorious light.
I am getting close, oh my goodness, to FLICKING THE SWITCH internally, from…
State A: Seeks relief and respite and recovery from Outside Self (Rescue Remedy, Facebook zone out, books, food, cup of tea, Vicks vapor snorter, rest, revving up..)
To…
State B: Seeks relief and respite and recovery from Inside Self. No resources required. The good stuff comes from dunking oneself in the Always-So by going deep inside to tap into the eternal stillness within. Like an inner cenote of relief.
Yes! You go within and ‘hold peace’.
To the degree I can rest in stillness in the storm, I am able to self-charge on the inside. It’s super-elusive though!!
Years of old habits to break softly and with utmost compassion.
Let’s read…
-17- The best leader is one whose existence is barely known by the people. Next comes one whom they love and praise. Next comes one they fear. Next comes one they defy. If you do not trust enough, you will not be trusted. True Persons do not offer words lightly. When their task is accomplished and their work is completed, the people say, “It happened to us naturally.” (Tao Te Ching, chap 17)
This is really good advice for my work today when I will be mediating between two colleagues. I’m trying to work out how much to lead, and how much just to facilitate their own conversation. I guess this is saying they should ‘barely’ notice my presence or role, and that I should ‘trust’ in them in order to ‘be trusted’ by them. May I not offer words lightly and may they finish saying ‘It happened to us naturally.’ May this be a Good Day for All.
Ok… Let me go in and listen to you…. [Silent meditation – cafetiere-style]
I am nourished by the Always-So
This. May we all be nourished by the Always-So, the eternal well within. May it become something we all learn to do! Instead of holding our breath to survive, may we draw gulps of fresh oxygen from the great I Am within. May we learn to step out of the temporal as soon as we find ourselves wheel-spinning or gasping for air, sustenance or respite. May we know exactly how to rest in the stillness of the Always-So immediately. And so it is. Always.
[Postscript yesterday: I felt inclined to google today’s phrase: ‘I am sensing my heart’. Interestingly, second on the list was an article on Sensing Your Qi. The writer shares a 4m meditation, where he refers to sensing your heart smiling. So I shall also endeavour to sense what makes my heart smile.]
My heart revealed and shared plenty of distress and troubledness yesterday. It was a turbulent day. I sure sensed my heart, but not my heart smiling. Maybe that’s for today. I’m rather late after a broken night. Let’s read:
-16- Empty everything out; hold fast to your stillness. Even though all things are stirring together, watch for the movement of return. The ten thousand things flourish and then each returns to the root from which it came. Returning to the root is stillness. Through stillness each fulfils its destiny. That which has fulfilled its destiny becomes part of the Always-so. To be aware of the Always-so is to awaken. Those who innovate while in ignorance of the Always-so move toward disaster. Those who act with awareness of the Always-so embrace all, are not possessed by particular desire, and move toward the Tao. Those who are at one with the Tao abide forever. Even after their bodies waste away, they are safe and whole. (Tao Te Ching Chap 16)
Beautiful. A key chapter. ‘The ten thousand things‘ so resonated with me when I first read the Tao Te Ching and felt utterly swamped by life (some 8 years ago?). What is the key phrase for me here today?
Looks like it’s to do with stillness, dunnit?
Yeperoo.
And the Always-So.
Yes… It’s as if all that really counts is the eternal essence, which is found in stillness. Or zummit like that. Your advice, please.
When you truly rest, you get insights, don’t you?
Yes! Like going away on holiday, or staying at someone else’ house… New perspectives appear.
Can you learn to rest in stillness in your everyday life?
I stop and then I canter headlong, don’t I? But it gets the work done.
It gets some work done. What would it look like if you had a greater sense of the ‘Always-So’?
I’d stop innovating? Stop reinventing the wheel? I read yesterday about how, in the world of spirit, we learn to create things by ‘pressing’ the mind. I guess it’s hard to create by ‘pressing the mind’ if we have our mind wheel-spinning in first gear. I am of the subconscious belief, I guess, that if I shoot off in first gear, I’ll get things done. No wonder, therefore, I get so full of dread about Doing The Things That Need To Be Done.
May I can learn to see the thing, and press my mind for its creation – instead of seeing a vacuum and pouring energy into it to ‘solve’ it.
And what thing would you see?
Today, I would see a talk prepared, an article written, a training prepped, my taxes done, a meeting easily accomplished…
And how would that feel?
Settled. Like a magician standing in a storm and conducting the elements.
Nice.
Anchored in the Always-So and in internal stillness, and then approaching the 1000 things as needed, or not. Unmoved. No struggle. Grounded.
Resting in stillness.
Resting in the stillness of the Always-So. May I rest in stillness today, fully anchored in the Always-So – not merely ‘on pause’, but nestling in the heart of the eternal peace of All That Is, succoured by its remedies. May we all, on this planet, in this extraordinary Day, return to the Source of All and rest in its Stillness. May all beings find refuge in the root, which is the Eternal. May we be lifted up from scrabbling in the dirt after the thousand scattered things, and may we be held in peace. May all those I love, and all those I am yet to love, and all those I will never know, find peace this day. May we all rest in stillness, today and always.
I am resting in stillness
*****
Later…
Resting in stillness seems to be about having the courage to sit in neutral gear and know that you’ll reach your destination faster that way than by revving up into first, second or even fifth gear. Resting in stillness is faith and trust that the destination will actually come to you!
In the Always-So the things get done effortlessly.
Ah… Man. Cool.
********
Later still – my car nearly conked out on the way to a meeting in town. So, I let it virtually drift towards the garage I use in town… Revving was not going to work! The destination came to me! 🙂
Thank you for yesterday’s images of light spiralling into me. I sometimes had the impression of light coming in through my liver and circling through my body from there. May I settle further today. May we all.
And today, the Tao Te Ching says…
-15- The ancient followers of the Tao were subtle, mysterious, and penetrating. They were too deep to be fathomed. All we can do is describe their appearance. Hesitant, as if crossing a winter stream. Watchful, as if aware of neighbours on all sides. Respectful, like a visiting guest. Yielding, like ice beginning to melt. Simple, like an Uncarved Block. Open, like a valley. Obscure, like muddy water. Who else can be still and let the muddy water slowly become clear? Who else can remain at rest and slowly come to life? Those who hold fast to the Tao do not try to fill themselves to the brim. Because they do not try to be full they can be worn out and yet ever new. (Tao Te Ching Chap 15)
Awesome. Two initial things. The first is basic. Just this morning, I decided I need to add one further alliterative phrase to my eating guidelines: ‘smaller suppers’ or perhaps better across the day, ‘micro meals’ – because I’m undoing so much of my good daytime work in the evenings with a huge carb fest. I’ve been eating raw til 6pm – and then going overboard with cooked food. So thanks for the confirmation: ‘Those who hold fast to the Tao do not try to fill themselves to the brim.’ And in sum, my current eating guidelines to myself are:
plant-powered
virtually vegan
roughly raw
fat frugal
grazing green
micro meals
Good. The second thing – I love those descriptors of the wise, ancient Taoists:
Hesitant
Watchful
Respectful
Yielding
Simple
Open
Obscure
This: ‘Who else can be still and let the muddy water slowly become clear? Who else can remain at rest and slowly come to life?‘ Please discuss with me: how might I more effectively incorporate this teaching into my life?
Notice how you are becoming less reliant on externals to prosper. You are less in need of validation, stimulation, approval or excitement to experience peace.
I even read less than I once did. (I was addicted to reading books on spirituality and development!) I am without religion at this stage in my life. I am even without dependents (oh, my precious girls, to witness you grow up and become independent has been the joy and the heartbreak of my life)…
Little, by little, by little… you are tapping into the wellspring of your own heart, and drinking of its elixir. Little, by little.
:-(”” Show me how to do this more. Please.
… To sit in silent contemplation, listening softly to the wind in the trees, is your gift to yourself. Resting in the present moment, accepting its perfection, is your gift to yourself.
Be still, remain at rest… for the muddy waters to clear and to slowly come to life. I need more practice at remaining still without leaping forward in thought. I need a meditative community…
You have all that you need. You truly do. In fact, maybe you have more than you need. Can we sit simply, without resources to simulate or calm us, and allow ourselves to sink into the perfection of ‘What Is’, without seeking to change or adjust it, or impose upon it?
It’s a different perspective or paradigm, isn’t it? In our over-stimulated state we are… troubled. That’s the key word for me, I think. Even in the best of circumstances, it’s so easy to bring the energy of {troubled} into it – our antennae are out, looking for the fly in the ointment. We’re braced…
Let’s FLIP the paradigm. And what do we find? Untroubled. Is that an ok word to use? It is essentially a negative…
It’s a beautiful word. And now we can find its positive counterpart word.
Troubled waters become clear…?
Good. Clear. A clear state. What does that mean and say to you?
If I am in a clear state, I’m not adding tetchy resonance to the moment.
Because the moment is…?
The moment is itself clear and true and perfect, and I can accept that.
This is a deep concept. It takes spiritual recklessness to see every moment as perfect, doesn’t it? You could easily be held up and challenged for your apparent indifference to what’s going on in the world.
I know! But, this clear-feeling ‘perfection-seeing’ really has to be my best response to what is going on in the world, because my adding fear, rage or judgment only seems to add fuel to its flames. It’s as if the purveyors of scandal, scare-mongering and stealing WANT us to become inflamed and infuriated. It’s as if that actually increases their boldness. Like the bully who is gee’ed up by their victim’s lamentations. It’s like they feed on the pain of the other. So my contribution is not to add fire, but to hold a frequency of peace – like wielding a flaming sword in darkness.
Can I do that without retreating to a monastery? Sure I can.
Tell me more about letting the ‘muddy water slowly become clear‘. (Oh, that’s where I got the word ‘clear’ from!)
First we stop adding more mud. Secondly we stop stirring the water. We let it all rest as it is. The clarity is a naturally occurring state, given time and ‘no input’.
What is meant by ‘no input’?
No external input = limiting the mud of outer stimulation, of fixation on worldly events, of jiggery-pokery-style food/drink…
No internal input = limiting the stirring spoon of inner thought, emotion, resistance, concern, analysis, judgment…
Don’t we risk just switching off, and becoming mute, inert statues…?
Mm. Try it.
***20m med on Insight Timer – no guidance, gentle music***
Ok. Wow. So, when I sat quietly (and I must be honest and say that of late my meditation has been sporadic or heavily guided) and actually let things settle in me, this happened…
It was like the coffee granules were settling in a cafetiere. So I gently brought in the notion of a golden plunger, as a kind of body scan, to bring the granules down… But nothing could get the area in and around my heart clear. In fact, when the muddy waters cleared, all I could really see was a tender, tender heart. It was enough to bring tears up in me.
Your heart has seen a lot. ‘Too much.’ It is the current human condition. How can you nurture your heart?
By loving it? By giving it reiki? By listening to it? By regularly letting the waters clear so that I can see it and truly feel it?
By sensing your heart more clearly you will learn to dialogue with it on a moment to moment basis. It will become your greatest teacher and ally.
Time to get grateful for all that’s spiralling into my sphere…
Two weeks of starting to follow Medical Medium’s protocols, which I’m currently interpreting for myself as: plant-powered, virtually vegan, roughly raw, fat frugal, grazing green. I’m starting to notice the benefits. I’m relieved not to be assaulting my body with fats and meat that I clearly could not process. I’m now reading Liver Rescue, and it’s making so much sense of my tiredness, brain fog and feeling of being ‘clogged’. Ty AW.
My MEDSAN protocols are going beautifully & I’m so so grateful:
(Kitchen: juicing / coffee)
Meditation and QT at 7.30am
Exercise – woodland walk and home ‘gym’ at 9.30am
Diet – chop chop chop – Fruit & Veg salad, lemon water, supplements – for 11am lunch
Shower – to be ready to ‘open the shop’ (start work) at 12 noon. I’ve stated on my email signature that my working hours are 12-5pm so no longer feel work angst in the mornings. I typically run to 6 or 7, which is fine. Going to bed knowing my morning is clear for MEDS makes a world of difference.
Admin – emails/planning/stacking/clearing at 12
Networking (marketing/blog) – at 1pm – tbh this is the hardest to get to because Admin takes so long, and then there’s the Client work to do..
Then, all importantly, the actual S of MEDS, Sleep: I am consistently calling ‘quittin’ time’ at 9am, and that allows me to unwind, read and then turn the light off at 10ish… meaning when I wake naturally at 6am, I’m getting good sleep.
My work has been going well, especially due to my new Projects sheet, which helps me keep track of all the major projects going on. It’s intense. There’s been no training work over summer, only case work, and for that I’m profoundly grateful as I needed to catch up mentally. Furthemore, my current cases are so so moving. I’m so grateful to have been granted them.
My girls are thriving, exploring and adventuring
My G is beautiful, inside and out
We have a nurturing, calm, peaceful home in the countryside
I’m ready for today’s learning.
-14- Look at it, you cannot see it. It is invisible. Listen to it, you cannot hear it. It is inaudible. Reach for it, you cannot grasp it. It is intangible. These three qualities are unfathomable and so they fuse together and become one. The upper part is not bright. The lower part is not dark. Ceaselessly the Unnamed moves back to nothingness. It has the form of the formless, the image of the imageless. It is indefinable and shadowy. Go up to it and you will not see its front. Follow it and you will not see its back. Yet, hold fast to this ancient Tao and you will experience the present now-moment. Know its beginnings and you can follow the path of the Tao. (Tao Te Ching Chap 14)
The Tao (way) is invisible, inaudible, intangible, unfathomable, formless, imageless, indefinable and shadowy – and it ceaselessly moves back to nothingness. Hold fast to it (or ‘abide with it’ in another translation) to ‘experience the present now-moment.’
How can one hold fast to, or abide with, something so inscrutable?
The suspension of disbelief is the route to all inner peace.
Really? Why?
Disbelief is like a blackhole – it only consumes light, leaving nothing of goodness in return. Belief, on the other hand, transmutes darkness into light. But the process of transmuting darkness, or ignorance, or more perfectly put, ‘unknowing‘, is a delicate business.
Tell me more… What is this delicate business? What is ‘unknowing’? And what is it transmuted to?
Unknowing is the precursor to knowing. Knowing, however, has many attributes. For example, I can think I know all about a topic, but a) be missing a whole lot of information and/or b) have an erroneous understanding. Transmuting unknowing to true knowing is like walking through a darkened room. One must proceed very delicately, carefully and deliberately so as not to stub one’s toe or walk into a wall. One must extend all one’s senses, reaching ‘feelers’ and fingers out to discern the path. One must be prepared to take time. One must be ready to keep going until one finds the door handle at the other end and opens the door.
Instead, what sometimes happens is that one’s eyes adjust to the dim light of the darkened room, at which point faded outlines become visible, and the person stops and proclaims the journey to enlightenment complete!
I hear you. I also think, sometimes in life, when we yearn for that breakthrough to the dawn / blinding light / open door / new horizon moment, we can forget to experience normal life, and we can grow dissatisfied with ‘what is’. This happens especially after any gifted glimpses of the sparkle-dazzle-fireworks… Normal life can feel disappointing!!
Ah, you are talking about the fireworks which the soul supplies to awaken the person. Yes! They are delicious. However, the awakened soul then eventually uses that initiated journey of exploration (in search of those fireworks!) to discover something more subtle, more penetrating. Inner fireworks.
Oooooh. Man. Ok. Yes. I’ve had glimpses of those babies too. So… Why don’t I practice the practices that give me (or could give me) that good stuff? The deep meditations, the shamanic drumming groups, the qigong retreats, the breath work (EE), the bodywork, the healing modalities, the religious ceremonies, the sublime music concerts, the kundalini yoga workshops, the dance festivals, the past life regression therapy…. Hm? I don’t know… Money? Sense of my own ‘age’? Focus on being ‘professional’? Still in sensible ‘parent’ mode?
‘Ceaselessly the Unnamed moves back to nothingness.’
Where’s the line between a) apathetically just not doing stuff, and b) being a spiritual being zen-ing out on the simplest aspects of normal life?
There are some things the Mind cannot work out.
But the Spirit or Heart presumably can… Suspension of disbelief. Belief. Faith. The inner fireworks, not the outer. Maybe some of those ‘activities’ I mention are actually activating the emotions, or tickling us psychologically. They are for excitement, but not necessarily growth? Help me here…
Your ‘spiralling in’ is an awakening, stirring process – if you so choose.
Sure. I do! I would like an awakening, stirring, though I ask that it may be smooth, gentle, enlivening and yet settling.
May I awaken myself through conscious ‘spiralling in’. May we all gently be awakened through conscious spiralling in. May this planet gently, gradually draw in light, like a Light Hole which gathers, gathers, gathers and concentrates the energy of light, of love, of healing, of wellbeing, of true knowing. May each of us fill up our ‘dan tiens‘ (qigong term for inner energy stores) with pure, positive energy, and connect to heaven and earth simultaneously, for the good of all beings and all consciousness.
To gather in Light is a beautiful practice. Softly does it. Brightly does it. Remaining simple, we draw in light as a spiral, suspending disbelief, comfortable to move ceaselessly back to nothingness that we may experience the present now-moment.
Settling into myself: not leaping forward, not rushing to solve another’s problems, not jumping out of my skin with anxiety… but rather, feeling myself resting into my belly. Watching the weather systems within, nodding at them and letting them pass.
And lo and behold, somewhere around evening time yesterday, on that 8/8 Lion’s Gate Portal day according to astrology, a whisper of a shift inside and I felt a tide turn, out there in the ether… and then flow in towards me and I was suddenly…
Spiralling into myself
Like an empty pond receiving its first welcome trickles of water
Like a maypole when the ribbons start to wrap in again
Like a fork in spaghetti catching up a good dollop in a twist
Like the four winds returning to base
As if my breathing was drawing in not just oxygen but goodness, light and energy.
As if a juicer had started in me and was drawing in ripe fruit to extract the goodness from it.
What was going on?
Let’s read today’s Tao Te Ching…
13- Both favour and disgrace bring fear. Great trouble comes from having a body. What is meant by: “Both favour and disgrace bring fear”? Favour leads to a fear of losing it and disgrace leads to a fear of greater trouble. What is meant by: “Great trouble comes from having a body”? The reason you have trouble is that you are self-conscious. No trouble can befall a self-free person. Therefore, surrender your self-interest. Love others as much as you love yourself. Then you can be entrusted with all things under heaven. (Tao Te Ching Chap 13)
I love this: ‘Surrender your self-interest. Love others as much as you love yourself. Then you can be entrusted with all things under heaven.‘
One thing has become apparent to me in past days, weeks, years. This planet is undergoing an enormous ordeal. While we are constantly pitted against each other by what ever forces are at play, and while separation and judgment (“Lock her up/Build the Wall/Drain the Swamp…”) are endemic, and while the behaviour of many becomes more and more bizarre, crass, divisive, selfish, narcissistic and pathological… there really is only one answer in my mind….
Radical Love.
And this can be summarised as ‘Love others as much as you love yourself.’ – the golden rule. So, this I guess is the litmus test. If, amidst all the hate, folly and distress, we can continue to love EVERYONE, we can be ‘entrusted with all things under heaven.’ Largely, I imagine, because we are unlikely to try to hoard, steal or spoil them. But more, I suppose, because all things under heaven are created for the purposes of love.
You asked what was going on yesterday, and why the ‘spiralling into yourself’ began. Know that universal love for all has a magnetic effect.
Loving everyone, as you describe above, allows the Inner Judge to step down (phew – she’s exhausted and ready to retire) and in her place steps an Inner Nurse. The Inner Nurse administers care to all who cross her path, however it may be that the person has received their wounds or contracted their disease.
The Inner Nurse has a much more satisfactory job to do than the Inner Judge.
The Judge must assuage her own ‘executioner’s guilt’ daily (‘Was I correct to condemn that person three years ago??’) and work to live with the contradictory knowledge of her own rampaging imperfection, error, sin, shame and wrong-doing. Her world is a binary one (innocent or guilty) which could turn on her and consume her with its own logic at any time.
The Nurse finishes each day knowing she did her best for those who crossed her path that day. The Nurse needs not be selective in her mercy, but delivers compassion and care to all. She is not contradicting herself – but for the times she (maybe frequently) forgets to grant herself as much care as she bestows upon others. Her world is unified: care for all.
And care for all, love for all – that includes the people who are hijacking our politics and syphoning off wealth, doesn’t it?
Exactly.
And the violent, the rampaging, the wildly dangerous…
Would you withhold your love from a howling, spitting, livid wild animal with its foot stuck in a trap?
This trap, in human terms, would be…?
The trap, in human terms, is the confounding trickery of pain, of trauma, of wounding, of off-planet influences which ‘hobble’ the average human. It takes such psychic skill and energy to correct the balance when a person has become overwhelmed by the darkness.
Yes. That is true. I know. I really do. Tell me more about correcting the balance, about staying upright, about healing wounds ancient or new.
When you spiral into your self lovingly, whilst simultaneously projecting true love for all, you gain access to the spirit of high love. So, on the one hand, affirm your love for all humanity and state aloud your summoning prayer for a collective healing. And on the other hand, simultaneously, pull peace, unity, light and love (P.U.L.L.) into yourself, with the gentlest self-care and self-love, and the subtlest, tenderest chiding of yourself towards habits that uplift and nourish the self and the spirit.
Yes. This. I hear you. I really do. What else?
This love for all. It must be stated clearly. It must come from deep within, and be fuelled by words, action and harmonious thought. Harbouring or expressing binary thought patterns of love/judgment (unity/separation) are tantamount to ordering a ‘Diet’ Coke with your Big Mac and large fries.
I do feel it, the love for all. I know that as a planet we are struggling against a typhoon of collective pain and healing.
You’re sure you don’t want to blame and judge the ‘selfish’? You’re sure you don’t believe some people (aka ‘others’) are ‘psychopaths’?
This I do know: whatever I see out there is only ever a mirror of me. Do I have selfish and psychopathic traits? Yes! Can I…
Wait. We are not asking you for a confessional. We are saying, do you believe some people are evil?
Ok. Harsh question. Um… no? I perceive some people are broken, unhealed, karmically over-loaded, wounded, psychically-invaded, energetically-hijacked… I believe that darkness is the absence of light… What do you want me to say here?
We want you to think about how you will align your thinking in coming months and years as individuals seize power and wield it against others.
Oh heavens… Is it really going to get that bad? Like Germany in the thirties?
If it did, how would you maintain an inner balance of Radical Love?
You’re saying, how would I respond to my sense of the moral imperative to condemn people acting with hatred towards other people?
Yes. Especially those you suspect of being highly conscious of what they are doing (vs the unconscious, misguided ‘crazed’ radicals who you see as victims of a larger crazy-making system).
Here’s what I notice. When I think about the individuals I know of, or think I know of, in those positions… I lose touch with myself and of all peace. My whole mind circles around them, and I get hijacked. So, I guess, my response is going to need to be to get better and better at spiralling in, anchoring into myself, and holding a sense of love for myself and for all in equal measure. I don’t need to fixate on other individuals. I need to anchor myself (spiral in, with love) and then focus on my intention of peace and goodwill and loving kindness for all.
Aha. Yes! That active practice of, in a sense spiralling in the pain of others, and transmuting it, and sending out love and joy. What about keeping the psychic gunk out?
Nurse Love-All has a very high-functioning immune system. She has trained it well and keeps on top of it. This allows her to work in the wards and in the battlefield without contracting the diseases or infections in the environs.
Ah, yes, with practices like qigong and meditation, I can keep up my ‘light chain-mail’ outfit, and remain fully conscious of what I let in and for what purpose. For example, I can set my system to be empathetic to my clients for the purposes of tonglen practice – but not so as to be exhausted or overloaded by their experiences.
Spiralling in peace, unity, light and love, we are able to project it out in equal measure. Anchor in first.
I liked how inviting a sense of emptiness in me made me less inclined to rush/push/solve/adjust… I walked more slowly. I was more able to listen and absorb others. I was more present to my clients.
And yet, nonetheless, slightly knocked off balance overnight, I woke up at 4am-ish. Maybe it’s this big Lion’s Gate Portal of the 8th of the 8th today. Or the fact that I have the dentist at 11am which messes up my lovely morning routine. Or the fact I have a LOT of complex work on.
Grant me balance today.
-12- The five colours blind the eye. The five notes deafen the ear. The five flavours dull the palate. Racing and hunting drive the heart wild. Goods that are hard to obtain hinder the journey. Therefore, the True Person is guided more by the belly than the eye, and prefers this within to that without. (Tao Te Ching Chap 12)
Yes, I’ve had a touch too much ‘racing and hunting’ and it’s driving my ‘heart wild.’ Can I be content with preferring ‘this within to that without’?
If ‘Goods that are hard to obtain hinder the journey‘, what are the Goods you have been striving to obtain? In other words, what is the ‘that without’ you have been trying to draw towards you? And how has it hindered your journey?
I don’t know! Financial security. Health. Energy. Inner peace.
Are they goods?
You’re confusing me. Help me settle.
The message to you on this day is that your ‘this within’ is entirely sufficient unto you, if you can but sit with it. Your ‘this within’ is literally the divine within. Can you possibly need more?
Oxygen? Water? Shelter? A calm mind!
Seeking our own good pleasure is a good start.
As opposed to seeking the good pleasure of A. N. Other?
Loving yourself is a good start.
Do I love myself?
When we love another we are curious about them. Can you bring curiosity into your inside self? Into the ‘belly’?
…. My internal weather systems are: stormy, tempestuous, moody…
Wonderful! It’s good to know what’s going on! Work with that.
{12 min silent meditation}
Ah… yes. A sensation of settling into myself. I see. I’ve been absorbing others’ traumas, and am carrying a lot of held tension and stress in my psoas. In the absence of TRE (especially today without my all important MEDSAN routine…), the best I can do is:
Keep moving
Process out inner tension as I can
Attend to my work with brevity and efficiency
Ensure I’m not popping ‘out of body’ or dissociating.
Remaining simple helped me remember, I already had found my North Star! (Think back to c17 July).
Reach peace; teach peace.
This was and is my guiding principle towards which I can fruitfully align my life, my work, my actions, my intention, my plans.
Then you will enjoy today’s reading…
-11- Thirty spokes connect to the wheel’s hub; yet, it is the centre hole that makes it useful. Clay is shaped into a vessel; yet, it is the emptiness within that makes it useful. Doors and windows are cut for a room; yet it is the space where there is nothing that makes it useful. Therefore, though advantage comes from what is; usefulness comes from what is not.
‘Usefulness comes from what is not.’ May I bring some empty space to my clients’ worlds today. I have meetings with 3 clients in complex cases. May I bring less, bring space, bring emptiness, bring peace.
On this day of days, clarion stillness is a balm to all beings.
Why today?
Your societies are marching towards a new precipice – beyond which lies the opportunity to step up into light, or stagger downwards into invoked darkness.
Heavens.
In part.
I must go and get ready for work. Your final message?
Emptiness is key today. It is your gift to all.
I am bringing emptiness
PS. And now I’m humming…
She’s a rich girl She don’t try to hide it Diamonds on the soles of her shoes
He’s a poor boy Empty as a pocket Empty as a pocket with nothing to lose Sing ta na na Ta na na na
