Month: March 2020

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Pivot 43: Sense the love in your heart

Say these words: ‘This is the best day of my life so far.’ And know it to be true. Know it to be true because you have never been on this planet with as much wisdom, life-skill and knowledge as you have TODAY. Yesterday you had masses of wisdom, life-skill and knowledge and today… you have more. All the tools and skills you need to thrive, to appreciate life, to commune with life and spirit, to help other people, to navigate life’s magnificent obstacle course, are in you today like never before. And guess what, tomorrow, you will have more! 

That’s a beautiful perspective in these remarkable days.

There really only is only skill to practise in this life, is you want to ensure a blossoming, joyful and peaceful old age, and that is: appreciation. If appreciation of your self, of life, of others and of the planet becomes your default state, you will simply grow in inner peace daily. 

Know, sweet soul, that you are being HELD. Know this, through and through, and your struggles, your suffering, your doubts… they will ebb away. Do you know that you are HELD by an army of supporters? Do you? Each of you are. None of you is alone in this day. Not one. 

Your choice to suffer is, unbelievably, with you. We know this sounds trite, and in the circumstances of your planet today, we know that our words may shock. But hear this, sweet soul: if you truly new the circumstnaces of your human life, you would all throw yourselves into the fray of helping eachother while you could. You would not hesitate to support each other, especially not out of fear of infection. Nor would you let tiredness stop you, for you would discover that the softest, deepest help can be offered to another soul, from the comfort of your couch. Be it sending a text, or prayer, or reiki… your capacity to support one another in this time is endless. And your army of supporters are really there to support you to support others. That is how the physics of it works. 

You are a speck of creative force, so your supporters are here to help you evolve as such. Creativity is known by its fruits: true creativity (which is Source outmanifesting) uplifts, inspires, moves and helps others. So your supporters are here to help you to do what uplifts, inspires, moves and helps others. As you step into the stream of helping others, your supporters will really be able to get the wind beneath their wings. 

You saw that yesterday, in the freshness of the new social distancing guidelines, as you and others leapt online to support each other and to connect despite the circumstances. What a sociable, flowing day you had yesterday. You were all in the STO flow. And your supporters were able to flick up the hem of your beautiful skirt as you spun round. 

Thank you, Supporters. So, they are like an army of good energy bearers?

We prefer ‘council’ to army.

Cool. A council of good energy bearers. Waiting for me to plug my finger into the socket between them and the people around me. So I can be a channel of good energy.

Good. Let’s read…

COMMUNICATION: If you try to adjust yourself in a certain way, you will lose yourself. So without any intentional, fancy way of adjusting yourself, to express yourself freely as you are is the most important thing to make yourself happy, and to make others happy. You will acquire this kind of ability by practicing zazen. Zen is not some fancy, special art of living. Our teaching is just to live, always in reality, in its exact sense. Zen Mind p88-9

To me, as an Aspie soul, this speaks of dropping ‘masking’. And what a relief that would be. I get this feeling that, in moving into the online world as a result of this pandemic, there will be far less need for masking. I can’t tell you how much relief I have felt these last few days about not having to go out, dressed up, into other people’s spaces, and follow their neuro-typical ways in their loud, crunchy, awkward environments, overloaded with psychic clutter and energetic noise… Eek. Did I just say that out loud? Well, here’s me ‘expressing myself freely as I am’, and yes it does make me happy to speak my truth.  And the truth includes this: I love connecting with people in the online world! I’m only just understanding this. I’ve been throwing so much energy into navigating the physical, interpersonal world… And online probably felt it wasn’t tough enough so it wasn’t the real work…!! Like I couldn’t focus on online while I still had real world work to do. Like online was a distraction or luxury I hadn’t earned… But yesterday I enjoyed:

  • a long call with my sister while walking
  • a Zoom lunch with my children and their grandmother
  • a Facetime meeting with a colleague
  • a Zoom meeting with a work friend
  • constant WhatsApp banter with family
  • AND a walk in nature, the pleasure of comfy clothes, the freedom to take breaks as I wanted, enjoyment of my lovely home, the company of my G at his desk next to me…
  • AND a sense of the fun of connection – so much better than heavy old email or clunking meetings.

I hear you though: helping others is where it all comes alive. And in these current circumstances, we are all in the spirit of helping eachother.

You are welcome to let that spirit of helping others GROW, safe in the knowledge that our lives improve on so many visible and invisible levels when they are geared towards helping people. 

I’ve had a block, haven’t I, over recent months? My work ostensibly is about helping others, but my days have been geared towards helping myself, defending myself financially, and proving myself professionally. I have even hidden my true self, in projecting a NT professional profile, thereby removing from myself the happiness of freely expressing myself.

‘Giddily helping others’ is a thing. It refers to our headlong tumble forward into the work of STO. When we get the feel for it, we scale up. Free self-expression is the catalyst. 

Ok. This is good. So my message for today? (I’m driving 4 hours each way to collect my precious youngest from uni today. The year’s  exams have been cancelled, and bar a few online lectures for the next four weeks, the academic year is over til Oct. It’s currently mid-March…)

The archetype for today is: The Sage. The Sage listens deeply, and speaks freely but little. The Sage knows so very much, and carries that wisdom both lightly and at the fore. The Sage is able to support others, and is supported as she does so. The Sage is unruffled by circumstance because she knows that ‘this too shall pass’. For the Sage, life gets better and better as she learns better how to navigate it, and as she loosens herself from burdens.

The Sage has only love in her heart as she has no need for fear. 

What one thing would you have me do today?

Sense the love in your heart. As you drive, feel it, nurture it, expand it out, revel in it. Your heart is a magnetic instrument. Magnets grow in attractiveness the more you play with them. Play with the living sensation of love in your heart, and see what happens. 

Sense the love in your heart.

 

 

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Pivot 42: Be the Day Dreamer

And so it has happened – finally, the government issued guidance to practise social distancing, work from home if possible and avoid non-essential travel. Virtually all my work is cancelled or postponed. A whole new era begins for us all. I’m so relieved we are responding collectively at last, and taking seriously the devastating reports and warnings coming from Italy, the current epicentre of the coronavirus. I am astounded by the situation we are in: both the health situation and the immense shift in human activity worldwide. Bar the blessed healthcare workers and those affected directly. the planet is coming to rest. Humanity is laying down its tools. It is ceasing its frenzied activity. It’s going to find time to think, to recuperate, to recharge, to become present again.  I am staggered by the days we are in.

It is good to watch, to be watchful, to observe, to be present to… what is happening, in you and around you. 

I was very emotional and tearful over past days. I felt this country was sleepwalking into a war zone. I feel more at ease now that we have awoken to the seriousness of the situation. My watching is calmer now.

Let’s read…

CONSTANCY: “People who know the state of emptiness will always be able to dissolve their problems by constancy.” The message for us today is “Cultivate your own spirit.” It means not to go seeking for something outside of yourself. Zen Mind p83

Well, that is interesting. So, be a watcher, but seek only from inside yourself.

‘Cultivate your own spirit’ means rest in that which bubbles up naturally within you whenever, and we mean whenever, you take your foot off the brake of resistance. Resistance is the state of blocking the desire of our inner being, which is something we do out of lack of belief that we are worthy of our desires. 

‘Cultivate your own spirit’ means dwell in the natural source of joy and goodness within you. Can you find it yet? 

Yes! I think I can. It’s the day dreamer in me! 

Exactly! Today’s archetype is: the Day Dreamer. She wallows in images that tickle and inspire her. She is off with the fairies, or the castle-builders, or the explorers, or the para-gliders, or the trapeze artists, or the vaccine creators, or the peace keepers, or the party animals, or the dance troupe… She is carried by her imagination, by the good feeling thoughts, by a freedom to follow her mind into her ‘target slides’.

You need to get pretty still to Day Dream, don’t you?

It certainly helps to slow down internally – and get into the parasympathetic state. But walking is fine. Walking is good. Movement is good for day dreaming. 

What One Thing? Have a day-dreaming walk today. 

Will do. 

The message is this: Be the Day Dreamer. Take wisps of good feeling, and stir them up into candy floss clouds of happy imagination. Paint pictures in your mind, and on your paper around you. Pick up the smallest nuggets of happy thinking, and spin them into happy scenes. Your imagination is a creative force – use it, in this day of days, to see scenes of love, of unity, of pleasure, of evolution, of fulfilment, of joy and of peace. 

Amen.

Be the Day Dreamer

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Pivot 41: Lead with your body

TO POLISH A TILE: Zuikan was a Zen master who always used to address himself. “Zuikan? ” he would call. And then he would answer. “Yes! ” “Zuikan? ” “Yes! ” Of course he was living all alone in his small zendo, and of course he knew who he was, but sometimes he lost himself. And whenever he lost himself, he would address himself, “Zuikan? ” “Yes! ” … That is why we should always address ourselves, checking up on ourselves like a doctor tapping himself. This is very important. This kind of practice should be continued moment after moment, incessantly. Zen Mind p81-83

***Zazen10mins***

Having aligned with our inner being and higher self…

And having learnt to summon ourselves, or ‘address ourselves’, and bring ourselves to attention… 

We are now going to play with some archetypes, to see how easy it is to choose our frequency, to select our mood, to align with a framework of our choice. As one learns this art, one can start to decide the archetype and vibrational pattern which best suits our desired outcomes. 

Today we shall choose an archetype of poise, of grace and of inner steel: the Principal Ballerina. 

Keep addressing yourself today, and come back to the archetype. Lean upon her focus, her internal power, her softness, her might, her absolute will to proceed, her partnership with beauty. 

And why the ‘principal’ ballerina? Why not just the ‘ballerina’?

Because of the need to work with the theme of solitude. The ballerina is blessed by her cohort. The principal on the other hand must be prepared to go out on to her stage solo. Dancing solo is on the one hand a greater challenge – but on the other hand, it gives the dancer scope for deeper, richer creative expression. 

And why ‘ballerina’ as opposed to ‘ballet dancer’?

The feminine spirit in you is key right now. Key. Remember we talked about fire dragons? This. This world needs feminine-spirited fire dragons right now. Right now. 

The Principal Ballerina takes her creative expression to new places. And how? By endlessly, effortlessly, powerfully standing up to polish the tile of her practice. Hour after hour after hour, every day. 

Your invitation is to HELP PEOPLE in this extraordinary moment in human history. This involves waking up, standing up, mastering your alignment and… getting out on stage and dancing. Remain not in the rehearsal room, dear soul. Get out on stage and dance, for the love of life and all that is human. Now is the moment of self-forgetfulness. Don your pointe shoes and forget yourself. Let the music carry you. 

A ballerina leaping

I remember how I used to dance around the sitting room to Swan Lake. And how, when I had a gift voucher, I spent it on a tutu (which turned out to be maddeningly scratchy). I remember how I loved ‘doing’ ballet even into my teenage years. I love now how it seems to overlap with qigong.

Keep close to the sense of your body, and your physical expression. You are a very kinesthetic person. Your body informs your mood, spirit and frequency. Lead with your body. 

And what one thing would you have me do today?

Cancel social contact, practise social distancing, for the love of all that is kind and fair.

Ty. Will do.

Lead with your body.  

 

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Pivot 40: Master your alignment

STUDY YOURSELF: [T]he purpose of studying Buddhism is to study ourselves and to forget ourselves. When we forget ourselves, we actually are the true activity of the big existence, or reality itself. When we realize this fact, there is no problem whatsoever in this world, and we can enjoy our life without feeling any difficulties. The purpose of our practice is to be aware of this fact. Zen Mind p79

***Zazen***

Tell me about this forgetfulness of self, please – and how it emerges from self-study. And how it relates to slef-dealership, and to Helping People. Your thought for the day?

The word you are interested in is ‘alignment’.

When a person is in direct alignment with their inner being and highest self, they ‘pop out’ of the cycle of self-concern. This is to say that they become less laboured, less intense, about their own decisions and cares. They not only have a sense of peace and satisfaction, but they also are wiser, more efficient in their decision-making, thus saving themselves time and energy otherwise spent on wheel-spinning. Furthermore, their comfort around STO [service to others] gently and instantly slides into a higher gear – hence, ‘helping people’ becomes easeful and natural (rather than a performance or a chore). 

And how best to we get into direct alignment with our inner beings and highest selves?

You have a range of practices to experiment with playfully. These practices help to shift you into alignment, and as you become familiar with the feeling of alignment, you become both more skilful at sliding over to it, but equally, you become more enthusiastic about staying with that feeling because it feels so good. Gradually, ‘being out of alignment’ becomes akin to stepping into a cold shower. You’d rather not go there. 

Cold showers are meant to be good for us though…

And in truth, once you have mastered alignment, you do get good at going into people’s ‘out of alignment’ space, in the spirit of a paramedic: you don’t intend to get injured/ill like the patient, but you intend to use your good health to help them get out to safety and support. 

Compassion, vs empathy. The empath might take on the suffering state of the other; the compassionate person maintains enough frequency to be able to take action to prevent and alleviate the suffering of another.

So, if you are in alignment, you are better able to be compassionate?

Exactly so. 

And with this in mind, what one thing would you have me do today, this day of days as Covid-19 invites us to change our ways and better our lives? 

Master your alignment enough to reach out to your elderly neighbour and offer her your help. 

Will do. Ty.

Master your alignment

 

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Pivot 39: HELP PEOPLE

Yesterday, alongside holding ‘This too shall pass’ in mind, and Finding What Feels Good, I spent a lot of time crying.

We are in a pandemic situation, with a government that won’t act – because it thinks we’re too stupid/untrustworthy to follow lockdown instructions, but mostly because it cares more for the economy than for the people.

And the accounts coming in from around the world, and the doctors of Italy especially, are heartbreaking. The suffering and loss and overwhelm of the health services. My heart breaks open for those affected now, and those who will be affected.

I must wake up. I must wake up. I must contribute. I must offer something. I must get off my airy-fairy solipsism, and offer something concrete and earthly. I have my one-trick, and I’m really good at it.

Offer it. 

Why the hesitation? 

Is your heart pure? 

I don’t know! Marketing seems like trying to benefit from others’ pain.

Sweetcheeks, are you saying that therapists shouldn’t offer their services, that care agencies shouldn’t advertise, that doctors shouldn’t get paid..?

Awaken, dear soul. Awaken. You have something to give. Give it. Publish your articles. Give your skills away for free, and that will make you feel better and give the karmic cycle some positive momentum. But, whatever it takes… HELP people. Drop the masks of deference, attention-doubting, professional-posturing… and HELP PEOPLE. You have a skill. For heavens’ sake, in this day of all days, USE it, USE it to HELP PEOPLE, come what may. The NHS staff are going to have to give their ALL. Do likewise. Give your all to this situation. OFFER your SERVICES with love and a pure heart. Aim to HELP PEOPLE. You will KNOW when you actually achieve this because you will feel:

  • relief
  • satisfaction
  • peace in your heart

Why? Because you will be aligning with your Inner Being which desperately wants (you to get over yourself and) for you to HELP PEOPLE. Ok? 

Read  now… 

LIMITING YOUR ACTIVITY: When we practice zazen we limit our activity to the smallest extent. Just keeping the right posture and being concentrated on sitting is how we express the universal nature. Zen Mind p75.

May I limit my activity in my meditation practice –  but also in my professional practice, to helping people. 

***Zazen10minsGuidedMarkWilliams***

I am here to help people

I am here on this planet to help people

We all are. That is the secret.

Why don’t they teach us that at school?

Because it would affect commerce so radically. If everyone just STO’ed, commerce would be completely reshaped. We are not saying there would be no commerce, far from it. But it wouldn’t be driven by individualism, competitiveness, hierarchy-signalling, keeping back the good stuff, pillaging the planet, creating toxic products, dependence on low-paid workers, over-payment of senior executives. It would be driven by collaboration, fair exchange, fair pay, level-playing fields and respect for planet and people. 

Your social enterprise thinking. Take it seriously. Articulate it. 

Get out. Stretch your legs. Work to help people today. Truly. Bravely. Loudly. HELP PEOPLE. 

What One Thing would You have me do today?

Change your profiles to ‘helping people have healthy dialogues’. 

Now get on and HELP PEOPLE. Anything you do, ask yourself, “Is this helping anyone?” If not, drop it likes it’s hot. ‘Limit your activity’ to this. You’ll feel good, so good. That good feeling you sought yesterday? It’s here: ‘helping people have healthy dialogues’. Got it? 

Yes. Thank you. This is helpful and encouraging. And wise. And tantalising. And focussing. Goodbye.

HELP PEOPLE

 

 

 

 

 

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Pivot 38: Find What Feels Good

Yesterday, turning potential or real pain into prayerfully-expressed hope felt good – a relief. It changed the way I approached difficult tasks – especially if I brought in the reminder that primarily our actions are gifts from God delivered through us not by us (see yesterday’s Zen reading).

But most of all, the protocol gave me some direction when the WHO announced that we are now in a pandemic situation.

“I hope that this situation passes gently and lightly across this planet. I hope that all those affected are blessed with pure light, pure relief, and heavenly consciousness. I hope that we can all be uplifted by this planetary event so that we realise our capacity for love, cooperation, mutual appreciation; so that we turn to unity, to collaboration and to humble service of each other…”

A couple of days ago, I came across a newsletter from the wonderful Yoga with Adrienne – it seems she’s been working with her commonly-used phrase, Find What Feels Good (FWFG), as a framework for her community. Gorgeous. I’ve been playing with the phrase on my walks, using astonishingly beautiful Abraham-Hicks podcasts to define the Feels Good feelings. Here are my phone notes and the idea I had of tracking what feels good – and what doesn’t – across the day:

Find What Feels Good today

(Because WFG is Me-connected-to-the-stream-of-pure-positive-energy)

Write myself a time sheet, early first, down to the end of the day:

Column 1 = Feels Good = lined up with my inner being, syncing, tuned in, connected to Source Energy, aligned with inspiration, getting into the Vortex, vibrationally up to speed, downstream, under the influence of Source, in oneness with my original vibrational state of beingness, with the rightness of Me, focussing consciously, getting ahead, pre-paving, making your world better, moving in the direction of the vortex and therefore feeling satisfaction, daydreaming not nightmaring, tuned in, tapped in, turned on, caring about what I’m thinking and feeling.

Column 2= doesn’t Feel Good = tug of war with inner being, unaligned with inspiration, under human momentum, upstream, under the influence of something other than Source, making your world worse… 

Good morning, sweet being. Column 1 is plenty for your needs. We know that you like to point to what tears you up, but we really wouldn’t recommend you give disconnected experiences any more energy than they already got via your earlier vibrational state and wandering attention. 

We love the idea that you should constantly be asking yourself, across the day:

  • How am I feeling?
  • What is my state? 
  • How does this make me feel? 
  • Can I milk the goodness out of this moment a little more?
  • In my next segment, what feeling am I intending to feel? [Segment intending]
  • How would I like to feel at the start, peak and end of this task? [Pre-paving]
  • Where do I appreciate this moment in my body? 
  • What senses are being tickled here? 

Remember what Abraham says about this life? They say “If we were in your physical shoes, we would…” They remind us that this physical life is delicious because, oh dear love this is so important, because of our physical senses. That autonomic nervous system, that vagus nerve, those butterflies in the stomach… it doesn’t come with you after this life! The sensations of your body, from ‘negative’ to ‘positive’ are the gifts of the emotional guidance system [EGS], which is one of the best, best, best aspects of physical life! Until, until, until… ooh, this is hard… you decide that pinching yourself off from your EGS is the way to go. Sound familiar to anyone?! That’s the feeling of stuck, of split energy, of frustration, of yearning for satisfaction. In truth, there are no ‘negative’ feelings: there are just signals which show you you are facing away from your EGS, which is to say, away from your Inner Being. 

How best to turn to my EGS?

This FWFG game is an excellent way to turn to your EGS, because it has no grand objecitive to it other that to get into your body a little more, and attune yourself (great word, ‘attune’) to picking up the signals of Feeling Good. This is really all you need to get in to the Good Feeling mode and hop in to the navigational stream of your EGS. 

What you want to avoid is that situation of having a satnav on and set to a destination, but you decide to take a detour to the service station, and the satnav is shouting at you, “At the next junction, do a U turn…. Turn round… Re-routing… Turn round… Not that way… What are you doing? Go left… No turn round.” Make sure you and your EGS are working together. Listen to its voice. Your voice. Start by following What Feels Good. 

Let’s read. You’re going to like it.

***

Funny, because in truth, I felt a bit of heaviness about this chapter. It’s called MISTAKES IN PRACTICE, and it’s about all the ways we might fail to keep our zazen practice pure… And how we shouldn’t do zazen to feel good! Sometimes, reading this book, I think, golly, was it made for a more innocent age?

Exactly so! Hence it’s immense value. Because innocence is the basic human state, whatever the age and state of society. All prompts to reawaken simplicity and innocence in us are to be welcomed. Right? 

Ok, I’m picking this following paragraph. It’s helpful to me, because it starts with the ‘unhelpful’ things I ‘object’ to (eg ‘you have the wrong idea’), but it ends with a message I can take with me, not just to my practice (which is loose enough as it is!) but to the rest of what I do in life:

MISTAKES IN PRACTICE: If you find some difficulty in your practice, that is the warning that you have some wrong idea, so you have to be careful. But do not give up your practice; continue it, knowing your weakness. Here there is no gaining idea. Here there is no fixed idea of attainment. You do not say, “This is enlightenment,” or “That is not right practice.” Even in wrong practice, when you realize it and continue, there is right practice. Our practice cannot be perfect, but without being discouraged by this, we should continue it. This is the secret of practice. Zen Mind p73

I could apply that to my work. And that would take the strain off me. The acceptance of radical imperfection. What’s important is to keep yesterday’s 3 states of action/being to mind:

  • first = aware of our essential self/Self/Source-self, eg straight after zazen
  • second = doing everyday things like making tea
  • third = creative, giving, teaching, intellectual, conscious

The second and third become like ‘children who have lost their parents’ if the first is not activated.

Let’s meditate…

***ZazenGuidedMed3minBreathingSpace***

Tbh, short and simple was v refreshing. The reminder that: I can focus my attention wherever I choose.

And today is about focussing the attention to Find What Feels Good. 

Excellent. And if I were to lift my sights up, right up, and ask the…

Source of my Being, the Holy Heart of my Soul, 

What one thing would You have me do today? 

A storm just blew in, as if from nowhere, and filled the bright, blue sunshiney morning with sideways rain – did it not? [Yes!] But, you saw it coming across the fields, didn’t you? [Yes!] And you know that storms always eventually blow over?  [Yes!] We want you to remember that the same is to be said of what you call ‘pandemics’. Today, quite simply, we want you to hold the thought in mind that, ‘this too shall pass’ – not in the shrugging-the-shoulder sense, but in the sense of knowing, knowing, knowing that suffering, acute though it may be, is always a transient state. So really do focus on Finding What Feels Good today. Let this passing planetary event remind you, deeply, all of you, that life is about Finding What Feels Good: that is Source’s gift TO ITSELF. Ok?

WOT [What One Thing] thing noted – will do: Today, quite simply, we want you to hold the thought in mind that, ‘this too shall pass’.

So when I Feel Good I am ‘gifting’ Source?

Entirely. Why did Source out-manifest itself in the physical form if not to expand? And why did Source create an Emotional Guidance System (aka Find What Feels Good system) if not to facilitate, accelerate and enable that expansion? 

Imagine Source felt whatever you felt, and only that – so Source’s feelings were entirely dependent on yours.  Would that encourage  you to clean up your frequency? 

Or put it this way. Imagine your children only felt what you were feeling…

Well we had that!! And yes, having my internal stress mirrored back to me certainly did encourage me to clean up my frequency!

The bottom line is this: Finding What Feels Good is not an ‘indulgence’ or ‘selfish’, it’s the first act of service you can offer to this vibrational universe! 

Find What Feels Good

 

***

When I go back to the nonphysical world and the nonphysical souls say to me “what’s so good about the physical world? “, I will say to them, “it’s all about feeling good! On Earth it feels good to…

  • Watch the Sun come up and the day begin
  • Have a cup of coffee in the morning
  • Stretch your body
  • Walk your body in nature
  • Set tasks for yourself and complete them
  • Get stuff done
  • Have a good cry and process feelings of sadness
  • Sense opportunity
  • Go about under the influence of source energy
  • Daydream a little bit
  • Imagine good new things
  • See the best in people
  • Exchange smiles or hugs
  • Anticipate good experiences
  • Sense nature coming to life after a long winter
  • Remind ourselves that this too shall pass
  • Bring out the best in another person
  • Help another person to become more aligned with themselves
  • Have a good, true, open dialogue
  • Remind ourselves that anything is possible can
  • Have lunch…
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Pivot 37: Turn your pain into prayerfully expressed hope

What is actually happening to this precious world at the moment?

  • All of Italy (60million) on stay at home lock down
  • Stock markets tumbling like its 2008
  • Politicians fumbling around to respond – previous politicking bravado slipping away
  • The entire Earth unified around one concern
  • Everyone on the planet affected in some way, or about to be
  • Panic-buying passim

Que pasa, Tias? De verdad?

Think of a paroxysm, or a convulsion. Consider the way nature is designed to rebalance itself. Know that thought has power. Know that polarity must become unity, because it is nature’s way to be in harmony with itself. Know that living beings throw out toxins. 

But taking the most innocent and vulnerable down to attain rebalance?!

If the living being continues to consume toxins, its weakest organs suffer first. By consume toxins we refer to the consumption of ‘toxic thinking’ as much as anything physical. 

There has been an epidemic of fear and division on this planet. That for me is toxic thinking.

I know it’s important to keep our thoughts up, but I feel sad, and alarmed, and perturbed, and also, like, well here we are, the moment of truth we’ve all been waiting for…

How best can I master my emotions healthily and be of service at this time?

Your fear of sticking your head over the parapet is, ehem, getting in the way. 

Is this you speaking..?

It’s time to turn the Hour Glass over at last, and feel the flow of creative expression. 

Is it now?

If not now then when? 

True. Tell me more, please.

When you are in the flow of creative expression, you feel peace, satisfaction, and the flow towards that which you desire, which is VOICE.

Uf

You have made an ART of keeping your VOICE under wraps, of contorting your voice to fit in, of mimicking, of masking, of sitting on your truth. FREE YOUR VOICE, sweet soul of our heart. FREE it. 

What does that mean, please?

FREE YOUR VOICE means:

  • Speak as if only God were your audience
  • Sing as if your melodies could heal your most cherished loved one
  • Utter your truth as if your life depended on it (it does) 
  • Be a mirror to the world you see, with your voice
  • Relish hearing your voice, in written or spoken form – like a soprano being moved to tears by the sound of the notes coming out of her mouth – in other words be less attached to being the CREATOR of your words, and more in the sphere of being an astonished ONLOOKER of the World. 
  • Exercise your Voice as a muscle

And now, with perfect timing… Let’s read…

****

So, the next Zen Mind chapter is called GOG-GIVING and first touches on the six paramitas, which are summarised here in this article from Dharma Gate Zen:

The paramitas, or perfections, are teachings – guidance for one on the path to awaken. Awakening is achieved through compassion, and through these practices of compassion, we can develop a better way to live. These, like the eightfold path are not designed to be a “step-by-step” course – they are all developed in conjunction.

The Six Paramitas:

Dana Paramita: generosity, giving of oneself, giving time and support where needed, when needed, with no thought of return.

Sila Paramita: virtuous, moral behaviour. Doing what is right, at the right time. Keeping disciplined and on the right path.

Ksanti Paramita: patience, tolerance for people, situations and experiences outside our comfort. Acceptance and forbearance.

Virya Paramita: energy, strength and diligence to stay on the path, even when it becomes difficult and uncomfortable.

Dhyana Paramita: concentration and self reflection. Contemplation on things outside our immediate understanding.

Prajna Paramita: wisdom, understanding, letting go of logic and embracing the void.

I think in this chapter Suzuki-roshi is saying, blend the first paramita (give generously) and the last paramita (wisdom, understanding):

“We have a saying, “Dana prajna paramita.” “Dana” means to give, “prajna” is wisdom, and “paramita” means to cross over, or to reach the other shore.”

This blend makes: ‘wisdom-giving paramita’ (or perfection). Follow the next paragraph in terms of the above conversation about FREEING THE VOICE… It really is saying, give generously of wisdom, in a spirit on non-attachment. Even one line of teaching may be a ferryboat for someone, presumably to the shores of understanding… Beautiful and a bit liberating…

GOD-GIVING: Dogen-zenji said, “To give is non-attachment.” That is, just not to attach to anything is to give. It does not matter what is given. To give a penny or a piece of leaf is “dana prajna paramita”; to give one line, or even one word of teaching is “dana prajna paramita.” If given in the spirit of non-attachment, the material offering and the teaching offering have the same value. With the right spirit, all that we do, all that we create is “dana prajna paramita.” So Dogen said, “To produce something, to participate in human activity is also *dana prajna paramita.’ To provide a ferryboat for people, or to make a bridge for people is ‘dana prajna paramita.’ “Actually, to give one line of the teaching may be to make a ferryboat for someone!‘   Zen Mind p66. 

Time to pause for today. This is a substantial pivot moment. For today use this ‘one line’: “Actually, to give one line of the teaching may be to make a ferryboat for someone!”

And What One Thing would You have me do today? 

Share one line of wisdom teaching on social media

Ok. Ty.

{NEXT DAY}

***Pick up reading***

GOD-GIVING cont: When we sit in the cross-legged posture, we resume our fundamental activity of creation. There are perhaps three kinds of creation. The first is to be aware of ourselves after we finish zazen. When we sit we are nothing, we do not even realize what we are; we just sit. But when we stand up, we are there! That is the first step in creation. When you are there, everything else is there; everything is created all at once. When we emerge from nothing, when everything emerges from nothing, we see it all as a fresh new creation. This is non-attachment. The second kind of creation is when you act, or produce or prepare something like food or tea. The third kind is to create something within yourself, such as education, or culture, or art, or some system for our society. So there are three kinds of creation. But if you forget the first, the most important one, the other two will be like children who have lost their parents; their creation will mean nothing.  Usually everyone forgets about zazen. Everyone forgets about God. They work very hard at the second and third kinds of creation, but God does not help the activity. How is it possible for Him to help when He does not realize who He is? That is why we have so many problems in this world. When we forget the fundamental source of our creating, we are like children who do not know what to do when they lose their parents. …. But if we are aware that what we do or what we create is really the gift of the “big I” then we will not be attached to it, and we will not create problems for ourselves or for others. And we should forget, day by day, what we have done; this is true non-attachment. And we should do something new.  Zen Mind p67/71

This chapter has brought me to tears of relief, and grief, and recognition. Yes.

Our precious voice is easier to unleash if we see it not so much as a representation of our “small I” as a gift of the the gift of the “big I”.

Why has my voice been such a theme in this life?

Who knows the soul’s incarnating decisions? Who knows the karmic contracts? All we know is that life lessons are incredibly precious, and rich veins of personal development to be mined with deep respect, patience and self-honouring. 

Yesterday I had my first visit to the new psychotherapist, and we used a Focusing approach. I found a part called Livid (an old friend tbh) who said I ignored it, and that I should just give it all up (training?) and that I was too chicken to make the requisite changes… Your comment?

Ask Livid.

Ok. Livid, your comment?

Livid: F. you. 

Why?

Livid: I am your Voice, you idiot!

Why so enraged?

Livid: You hate me. 

Do I?

Livid: Clearly or else you would welcome me, incorporate me, integrate me, relish me, honour me, and DIGNIFY me with your respect. 

How best can I do those things? How best can I dignify you with my respect?

Livid: By quoting me verbatim, and not putting me through some safety filter which drains my words of any truth or meaning. You take away the Source of my knowing by sanitising me constantly. 

I’m afraid of speaking your truth. Like people will disown me and leave me in penury.

Livid: You really don’t trust me, your actual Voice, at all, do you? You think dampening me is the way to safety? How’s that going for you, fatty? 

Hey? It’s stress fat, ok? Leave me alone.

Livid: Oh, I do my best to leave you alone, believe me. You should know your stress fat arises virtually purely from ignoring me, the Voice of your Inner Being. You write me down here, suck out the sweetest juice and go out into the world disowning me, pretending you’re just like the non-believing muggles. To fit in. 

And not to impose my beliefs on others. And because of… you know, fear of their judgment.

Livid: Listen to me. LISTEN to me. 

Ok! I’m listening.

Livid: Stop ignoring me, the Voice of your Inner Being, speaking to YOU. 

I know I can be stubborn.

Livid: Stubborn?! You are like a mule! 

How better shall I trust you? How better shall I trust that listening to you won’t hurt me? How better shall I do this wisdom-giving paramita? How better shall I share ‘one line’ etc?

Livid: Know, dear friend, first and foremost, that it is OK to express pain. If it helps you, know that turning that pain into ‘hopes’ or ‘prayers’ is a way of expressing pain without adding to the general suffering of the world, should that be your concern. But, sweet one, you are muted by your belief that you can not give voice to pain, to sadness, to disappointment, to grief, to your longing for change. You worry that you will become or be seen as a ‘Minnie Moaner’ (You should cheer up, darlin’!) But you have been given a Voice with which to speak of what you see, and to revisualise those sights as an expression of potential. If we cannot give Voice to yearning, how can the planet build momentum to evolve? 

So… Speak of my hopes, of my prayers? When I feel pain?

Livid: Yes. 

That does feel like a relief. A blessing, A way forward.

Livid: We know, you don’t want to be seen to be criticising people eg politicians. It’s ok, nonetheless, to speak of your vision, your hopes, your potential, your prayers. Live within those prayers, sweet soul. Live within them. This is the alternative pivot. See what you don’t like, and speak of what you would like to see. 

See what you don’t like, and speak of what you would like to see… 

I would like to see a world in which:

  • we care for our elders
  • we protect the poorest
  • we …

I hear the word, ‘hypocrite!’

Livid: Then use your ‘hopes’ as your guide to life. That’s ok too. Live the learnings of your pain. Live them! 

Yes. I can apply this to my business…

Livid: You talk every few months or so of ‘social enterprise’. Nu? 

Ah yes. This is a good way to live the learnings of my pain. Ty.

***Guided10minSittingMedwithMarkWilliams***

Honour your pain by expressing hope, prayerfully. 

Yes. This. Ty.

What One Thing would You have me do today? 

Turn your pain into prayerfully expressed hope, three times today. 

Ok. Will do. Thank you.

Turn your pain into prayerfully expressed hope

 

Later:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2pappvMPBJwIpPEVNlEGuz?context=spotify%3Ashow%3A44mEoioGlvMk087QOfcOYm&si=R43crxlvS-yrcFinrhLEPA

“Clarity is what you’re shooting for. You know that feeling when you can’t make up your mind? Wanting it and doubting it. That’s split energy. Split energy is the most uncomfortable experience of all experiences. Wanting it and not believing I can have it. Presenting and feeling jealous of people who have it. Wanting it and feeling without it. That’s split energy.” Abraham

 

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Pivot 36: Slow right down and leave no trace

I can see yesterday’s dialogue was a really important one. Thank you. I made my IWD Commitment on ‘helping people dialogue’, and set up a folder for holding myself accountable to that Commitment.  I also set a slot in my Switch120 schedule and a hashtag, #HealthyDialogues. I can see it as a ‘campaign’ – rather than an unattainable commitment to ‘forever’. Thank you for the Fire Dragon calling too. With all my heart. I feel that the time has arrived to master: time, vibration, bodily strength and the power to execute that which my inner being says is good.

Let’s read.

NO TRACE: When we do something with a quite simple, clear mind, we have no notion or shadows, and our activity is strong and straightforward. But when we do something with a complicated mind, in relation to other things or people, or society, our activity becomes very complex. Most people have a double or triple notion in one activity. There is a saying, “To catch two birds with one stone.” That is what people usually try to do. Because they want to catch too many birds they find it difficult to be concentrated on one activity, and they may end up not catching any birds at all! That kind of thinking always leaves its shadow on their activity. …  Relative mind is the mind which sets itself in relation to other things, thus limiting itself. It is this small mind which creates gaining ideas and leaves traces of itself. If you leave a trace of your thinking on your activity, you will be attached to the trace. For instance, you may say, “This is what I have done!” But actually it is not so. Zen Mind p62

This makes me think of G. who does one thing at a time, with exceptional care, and sends it off to the clients … without a trace of ‘him’ upon it. Whereas much of my work nearly finishes me off precisely because I see it as a reflection of me! What would happen if I truly:

  • Did one thing at a time
  • Sought to leave no trace of myself on it

You would be healthier, stronger, more fulfilled – and less afraid of others. You would master time, vibration, bodily strength and the power to execute. 

Well, that sounds like a bargain!

It really is a case of going from 60mph to 20mph. Feels off at first, doesn’t it? Until you start to appreciate the surroundings. Until you get used to arriving at places in a state of grace, calm and readiness. Until you develop at appreciation for the powerful vehicle you are driving, and an awareness of how dangerous it can be to drive it out of control… 

***Zazen20minsTimer***

Simplify, slow down, leave no trace of shadowy thinking or attachment or imprint of self. Your work on this planet is to occupy a frequency of peace and calm. Learn to access that frequency at will. Holding the phrase and command, “Slow down” will help you achieve this gentle non-attachment. Be open to the learning that arises today. Know that the angels of God are constantly sending you words of wisdom to live by. Keep life very simple. One thing at a time. Slowed right down. 

Thank you so much. And today’s WOT?

Dear Source of my Being,

Holy Heart of my Soul.

What one thing would You have me do today?

Check in on the older loved ones today.

Of course. Will do. I’m thinking AP & NT.

So, today…

Slow right down and leave no trace

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Pivot 35: Practise the way of vibrational diligence

That self-organising of self/spaces/week was good yesterday. I did it for c.6 hours, and didn’t finish… But I did clear my desk and my car, take out a lot of rubbish, and look at the week ahead. I also went to town and did a bit of bd shopping for my Love. And I felt good. Also, I used Switch120 and the 8 Activity slots to keep myself on track. Been awake since 4.30… Saw 4.44 on the clock when I went down, and just now, I turned round from my computer to see the most enormous orange full moon sinking behind the trees on the horizon…

Interested to tune in to you today. Shall we read?

RIGHT EFFORT: When you practice zazen, just practice zazen. If enlightenment comes, it just comes. We should not attach to the attainment. The true quality of zazen is always there, even if you are not aware of it, so forget all about what you think you may have gained from it. Just do it. The quality of zazen will express itself; then you will have it. People ask what it means to practice zazen with no gaining idea, what kind of effort is necessary for that kind of practice. The answer is: effort to get rid of something extra from our practice. If some extra idea comes, you should try to stop it; you should remain in pure practice. That is the point towards which our effort is directed.  Zen Mind  p60

***Zazen16minTimer***

Good. I’m glad I did that. Keeping the meditation fairly empty was good – coming back to the sound of the nearby computer whirring each time thoughts arose. Noting, again… some feelings of anger and frustration. Nu?

Authenticity. The inner being is longing for authenticity. Not the ‘shoulder-pad persona’, nor the ‘nice-lady persona’. The fire dragon. 

The dragon lady??!

Happy International Women’s Day, dear friend. You see, phrases like ‘dragon lady’ were designed precisely to push women into a place of powerlessness. Think about what is summoned by the phrase ‘fire dragon’, when applied to a woman. 

Burning away dross. Clearing paths. Defending the vulnerable. Speaking truth to power. Persisting.

And so it is pleasing to let you know that all that you have articulated here is exactly what is on offer to you and to all who would step into the fire dragon persona. To enter this kind of energy it is helpful to step back from the world briefly, and shake off the dust of despondency. 

My despondency can be strong. Help me shake it away, please.

Look into your achievements. No, but really. Look in to them. Can you honour them? 

So many of them feel less like things I set out to accomplish, than … my running alongside a moving train to keep up with it.

And if that is what you achieved by running alongside a moving train, imagine what you could achieve if you set a destination, got on the train and steered it. 

Yes. I see… Like what…?

What would you like to change in the world? 

This division. This shouting at each other. People being horrible to each other. People using words to obfuscate, trick, overpower, belittle… As I always say, ‘WORDS HAVE POWER.’ Can’t we use them wisely, kindly, truthfully, directly? Can’t we all actually communicate with each other, rather than shouting at each other? Can’t we LISTEN? And can’t we ENCOURAGE? Can’t we communicate LOVE? When  was unwell  a few years ago, I was so shocked and scared by the way the state communicates with vulnerable people. It’s so brutal, unkind, and unfair. We need to communicate love. But if I say that, people run away…

Do they? When did you last try..? When did you stand on your soapbox and proclaim these beliefs to the world? 

…. I didn’t.

Hear the sage in you, fire dragon. Hear her. If WORDS HAVE POWER, so do yours. What will you do with your words? How will you use your words to burn back division and cast spells of love on this world, fire dragon? 

What about my fear of speaking into the void…? :-/

What of it? Who says you can’t speak into the void, fire dragon? if words have power, speak them precisely into the void!! That’s where they are needed most. Are you waiting for permission to speak, dear soul? Is that it? 

Yes… Yes, I am. It’s my age-old life lesson. ‘Find your voice’.

Speak like nobody’s watching? 

I remember I hired a room so that I could work up a new theatre show. In the end, the fear of people hearing me through the windows stopped me from going… And yet, I wanted people to hear me through the windows. I longed to be heard. It was a catch-22.

Ok. This, this, this, dear soul, this conversation is really good work. 

What shall become of it?

What would you like to become of it? 

I would like for my desires and my beliefs to align. I would like to get to that authenticity place. I would like to drop the personas. I would like to find my voice in this world – as others I know and love have and have not done. I would  like to find my voice in order to find my tribe. I would like to communicate deeply, fully and passionately. I would love to be amongst soul friends. And be able to thrive financially. That is my wish. 

Where are your soul friends, dear one? 

I guess at a particular frequency?

Spot on. Like dolphins, you need to signal to each other to find each other. Soul friends find each other on the frequency line. 

Remember yesterday you heard Abraham talk about ‘pivoting’? 

Yes!! This was amazing. I’d completely forgotten the Abraham had a pivoting process…

The Process of Pivoting
The Process of Pivoting: ‘Anytime you feel negative emotion, stop and say: Something is important here; otherwise, I would not be feeling this negative emotion. What is it that I want? And then simply turn your attention to what you do want. . . . In the moment you turn your attention to what you want, the negative attraction will stop; and in the moment the negative attraction stops, the positive attraction will begin. And—in that moment—your feeling will change from not feeling good to feeling good. That is the Process of Pivoting.’ -Abraham Excerpted from the book – “Money and the Law of Attraction”

Excellent. Here we are, taking the effort out of our thinking again. Super. (#RightEffort). Every difficult feeling is telling you what you do want. So, you’ve had quite a time of it being frequency-neutral, and now you’re saying you want to find your tribe and thrive financially.

Exactly. Put bluntly, if I hang out only with love-huggers like myself, I ain’t going to be circulating with people I can work for or even with. But, lurching into 3D land the whole time (where commerce apparently occurs)… it’s tricky and exhausting… What do you recommend?

We recommend you really work on cleaning your frequency on a daily basis. This is completely about today’s Zen theme of #RightEffort: not too much pushpushpushing, but rather keeping the constant way of vibrational diligence. 

Say what?!  ‘Vibrational diligence.’ That’s a great phrase. What’s my best form of vibrational diligence?

Honestly? Exercise, physical movement, stirring the energies, getting fit and strong, physical expression. 

Really? Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.

Your body is longing for expression. 

It’s burnt out with fricking adrenal fatigue. :-[

Your body is longing for expression. You are a very kinaesthetic person. 

Why I loved theatre…

Why dialogue is a good theme. Scripts are dialogues too. Verbatim theatre is still good. 

Stop it… Really?

Indeed. 

Consider whether you are ‘offering a service’ or leading your own movement. Ok? Do that for us. Get out of ‘fitting in’ and get back into ‘creative’ mode. Ok? For the sake of all that is good in this world. HELP PEOPLE DIALOGUE; HELP PEOPLE FIND THEIR VOICE; HELP PEOPLE COMMUNICATE CREATIVELY – and all that you long for and give away at the same time, will come back to you. 

 

Source of my Being,

Holy Heart of my Soul.

What One Thing would You have me do today?

Commit to helping people dialogue.

Well. Yes. Ty. I realise that needs some consideration. I really want to translate these learnings into the real world.

Well, practise the way of vibrational diligence via physical movement, stirring up the energies, #RightEffort, constant conscious pivoting from the ‘unwanted’ to the ‘wanted’… and all good things become possible. 

Practise the way of vibrational diligence

PS. Just found this previous dialogue…: http://dialoguesofdiscernment.com/peak-63-i-am-magnetising

 

Posted on

Pivot 34: Self-organise to keep the constant way

You have a powerful message to share. 

I do?

A message on the healing power of dialogue.

Ah. Yes. That’s true.

You know that ‘healthy dialogue’ supports: 

  • karma clearing
  • forgiveness
  • return of SCARF conditions (David Rock 2009)
  • good deaths
  • collaboration 
  • teamwork 
  • intimacy
  • learning of eachother
  • emotional healing 
  • suicide mitigation…

You also know people find it hard, or are reluctant to dialogue. You know that when hurt sets in and a conflict/dispute/broken relationship is underway, people shrink further from dialogue. 

It’s not easy, dialogue. I’m the last one to want to pick up the phone, tbh…

And as a person blessed with neurodivergent wiring, you’ve had to learn … to swim without arm bands. 

Meaning…?

Meaning, you’ve had to learn (about communication) by jumping in the cold water and finding your way to the surface. 

Ultimately… You have a message to share.

{Aaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.} Yes. I do.

In fact you have a whole philosophy to spread… 

Easy tiger.

It’s true! 

At the moment you are trying to ‘sell’ the mysterious service called ‘mediation’, which most people don’t understand, or fear, or believe is not for them.

But the rest of that population which needs to hear your message is interested in the actual other bit of your philosophy, the broader picture of love, peace, forgiveness, soul contracts, healing, dialogue as a tool. 

Really? What about the old, “I’m cheaper than lawyers bills!” messaging?

Irrelevant. Most people are so sure of themselves, they assume they’ll win their case and have no bills to pay at the end. 

At the moment you masquerade as a quasi-lawyer/HR professional. And then you feel impostery. But here’s the thing. They don’t want that. They want the sage. They want a Getafix. 

This conversation is really tough going…

Only if you’re no longer in the playful mode. 

I hear you. My fear is of putting myself out there with my heart at the forefront and being… ignored, really. I was so hurt when I shared of myself and loved ones kind of ‘toe-curled’ and swept what I’d shared under the carpet. (eg NDE)

It’s time to blend the personal and the professional. 

Really?

Why is your profile pic one of you in a black suit? Like really? Why? 

To seem like I fit in. To seem professional.

Are we in the 90s still? Where is your look that speaks of you? People want you, not a cookie cutter version of someone else from the 90s. Fan heavens’ sake. 

Ok! I hear you. Be soft with me.

We’re prodding you. 

Thank you….? Let’s read and meditate.

<3

ZEN and EXCITEMENT: ‘My master died when I was thirty-one. Although I wanted to devote myself just to Zen practice at Eiheiji monastery, I had to succeed my master at his temple. I became quite busy, and being so young I had many difficulties. These difficulties gave me some experience, but it meant nothing compared with the true, calm, serene way of life. It is necessary for us to keep the constant way. Zen is not some kind of excitement, but concentration on our usual everyday routine. If you become too busy and too excited, your mind becomes rough and ragged. This is not good. If possible, try to be always calm and joyful and keep yourself from excitement. Usually we become busier and busier, day by day, year by year, especially in our modern world.’ Zen Mind Beginners Mind p57

OMG, yes, this. God preserve me from excitement and busyness. I’ve had enough of it now. God grant me constancy, routine, calm, joy, serenity. And with this tranquility, grant me strength of mind and character, and the will to apply myself, to complete, to execute tasks with courage and clarity.

***Zazen16minsTimer***

I became aware of such emotional discomfort in my heart – pain, shame, tension. I used self-reiki to ease it, sending in natural healing and also some small amounts of self-compassion and self-love when possible.

Hm… Let me return to that beautiful line: ‘It is necessary for us to keep the constant way. Zen is not some kind of excitement, but concentration on our usual everyday routine.’ This is so important for me. I’m addicted to stress, cortisol, change… This week has been powerful because I more or less self-isolated at home because of my cold. (Not Covid-19 but no one needs more viruses…) I’ve loved developing Switch120. Can I delve into that more? Can I keep the world at bay? Can I claim my routine, and be self-employed?

Easy… Gently. Carry forward that which you developed in meditation. Return to its softness. Would you like to ask for your One Thing? 

Sure.. Ty.

Source of my Being,

Holy Heart of my Soul

What One Thing would You have me do today?

Self-organise your day and your (living/working) spaces and your week to come.

Really? Ok. I can do that.

Self-organise to keep the constant way