Author: Dialogues Of Discernment

I am finding my ’10’. It is beautiful. It is like living ‘heaven on earth’. This time we are in… Oh, how do I explain this, while still acknowledging that the suffering occurring at the hotspots of this virus is completely unimaginable…

Speak from where you are. 

Ok. I’ll speak from where I am. It is Heaven on Earth… The most beautiful sunshine, day after day. I know where all my loved ones are. Some of them I get to see day after day, and commune with, peacefully and simply. The fields and woods are open to me. The birds are tweeting louder than ever. Buzzards soar overhead. People wander by in the countryside, all of us absorbing nature and sunshine. There is no…

Speak from where you are.

Ah yes! Our commute is up/down the stairs. There is so much peace. I can hear myself think. I can rest and unwind. I am starting to feel human and alive again… I have an opportunity here.

Speak from where you are.

Ah, yes, present moment reality.. I am living and working gently. I am working to a routine that not only is manageable, but is nurturing. It puts my body and mind first, and it also centre-stages the work I want to be doing. I am moving away from ought/should/must/hurry/hustle, and towards ‘following my bliss’.

So, what do you want to discuss today? 

Keeping it like this.

Are you following the 10 Stepping Stone approach of yesterday? 

Getting there.

Do that exercise now. 

Ok.

****

I have got as far as I can for today, maybe? I’m calling it Project One Jam.  One jam refers to the story G told me about: a woman sells a huge range of jams on her stall, and they are not shifting. She is advised to sell just one flavour of jam. This jam then just flies off the stall. Maybe the success is because it’s an easier decision for the consumer: “Buy or not buy?”  Vs “Maybe buy, but oh goodness, how do I decide which flavour to buy?”.

My long-held desire is to offer just one service,for one client a day, at one set time of day, online.

It’s bringing up a lot of deep feeling along the lines of “Am I restricting sales? Will people think me inflexible? Is it really ok to ask for what I want?! Is it really ok to assert my own terms – what if it backfires in my face… and then the consequences are financially serious. Is it lazy or hubristic to think that one session a day will pay the bills?”

As I result, I can’t even ‘see’ the 10 Stepping Stones. What do I need to work through to be able calmly to see the 10 Stepping Stones to get me from one side of the stream to the other?

It would be a good time to read now. 

Ok.

****

Oh my word… This was the PERFECT chapter. Thank you. Here are my extracts:

NATURALNESS: If you want to study Zen, you should forget all your previous ideas and just practice zazen and see what kind of experience you have in your practice. That is naturalness. Whatever you do, this attitude is necessary. Sometimes we say nyu nan shin, “soft or flexible mind.” Nyu is “soft feeling”; nan is something which is not hard” ; shin is “mind.” Nyu nan shin means a smooth, natural mind. When you have that mind, you have the joy of life. When you lose it, you lose everything. You have nothing. Although you think you have something, you have nothing; But when all you do comes out of nothingness, then you have everything. Do you understand? That is what we mean by naturalness. Zen Mind p110

YES, this! I have been working, under a chameleon mask to fit into the working world, without a ‘smooth natural mind’! And in so doing I have become exhausted and lost the ‘joy of life’. My work has made me taut, tense, stressed and afraid. The Project One Jam framework arises when I see my life, on the other side of the stream, through the lens of the smooth, natural mind.

And check this out:

It is rather difficult to explain, but naturalness is, I think, some feeling of being independent from everything,or some activity which is based on nothingness. Something which comes out of nothingness is naturalness, like a seed or plant coming out of the ground. The seed has no idea of being some particular plant, but it has its own form and is in perfect harmony with the ground, with its surroundings. As it grows, in the course of time it expresses its nature. Nothing exists without form and color. Whatever it is, it has some form and color, and that form and color are in perfect harmony with other beings. And there is no trouble. That is what we mean by naturalness. For a plant or stone to be natural is no problem. But for us there is some problem, indeed a big problem. To be natural is something which we must work on. When what you do just comes out from nothingness, you have quite a new feeling. For instance, when you are hungry, to take some food is naturalness. You feel natural. But when you are expecting too much, to have some food is not natural. You have no new feeling. You have no appreciation for it. The true practice of zazen is to sit as if drinking water when you are thirsty. There you have naturalness. …  This naturalness is very difficult to explain. But if you can just sit and experience the actuality of nothingness in your practice, there is no need to explain. If it comes out of nothingness, whatever you do is natural, and that is true activity. You have the true joy of practice, the true joy of life in it.Everyone comes out from nothingness moment after moment. Moment after moment we have true joy of life. So we say shin ku myo u, “from true emptiness, the wondrous being appears.” Shin is “true” ; ku is “emptiness”; myo is “wondrous”; u is “being” : from true emptiness, wondrous being. Without nothingness, there is no naturalness—no true being. True being comes out of nothingness, moment after moment. Nothingness is always there, and from it everything appears. But usually, forgetting all about nothingness, you behave as if you have something. What you do is based on some possessive idea or some concrete idea, and that is not natural. Zen Mind p108-9

So, ‘naturalness’ arises from a soft, flexible mind, and appears out of emptiness, and brings a ‘new feeling’ of vivid appreciation akin to drinking water when you are thirsty.

When I go about my life in my own way, observing my own little rituals and enjoyments, I feel vivid appreciation.

But much of the time I am mimicking or copying to fit in – because I have believed that this is the only way to surf the wave of financial wellbeing which everyone else seems to ride without question. But that copying hurts me. It really hurts me. And every few years, to be fair, I have a breakdown and collapse again…

Maybe, this time of quarantine, with the neurotypical working world held at bay, is inviting me to enter my own naturalness, and build my economic wellbeing there. Once and for all.

When I mentioned Project One Jam above, I didn’t actually share a large chunk of the vision, because it seemed too quirky too mention. It’s a day of routine, based on Switch120, in which every two hours, one switches state from ‘Sit’ to ‘Stand’. ‘Sit’ is Big Mind state, and Stand is Busy Mind, or movement (mindful or not), or home-caring, or social connectivity.

• 6am: SIT – Quiet Time and writing here.
• 8am: STAND – Qigong, Shower, Dress, Clear the Decks, Emails
• 10am: SIT – Writing / Digital Marketing / Blogs
• 12pm: STAND – Lunch, Walk, Home, Emails, Calls
• 2pm: SIT – Client Session
• 4pm: SIT/STAND – Buffer Session, finish the working day, cooking, cleaning
• 7pm: SIT – Dinner, Rest, Music
• 9pm: STAND – Qigong, PJs, Bed without screens by 10pm, sleep…

I feel like I have strong monastic tendencies coming through at the moment. But this is my naturalness. This is me in soft, flexible mind. In this routine, I have so much space to be present. Without routine I am swimming in decisions and executive functioning overload, and I am stuck in Busy Mind… And Big Mind vanishes. So. This is my truth arising independently from my emptiness. And I feel that’s maybe ok.

What do you say?

It looks like you are speaking from your heart. Remember how in Reality Transurfing it is taught that your heart will teach you all you need to know about yourself? 

I’d forgotten that…

Oh lordy, I just googled ‘Reality Transurfing Heart Quote’. Wow, so beautiful and perfect:

“The mind is constantly generating thoughts and the voice of the heart is literally drowned out by the ‘thought-churn’ making it difficult to access intuitive knowledge. If you stop the train of thoughts and simply contemplate the emptiness, you will hear the rustle of the morning stars, the inner voice that has no words. The heart could provide answers to many of our questions if only we could hear its voice.”
― Vadim Zeland, Reality Transurfing Steps I-V

And then this – with respect to my thoughts above on dropping mimicking and living by my own sweet ways…..!”

“The hardest role to play is the one where you play yourself and allow yourself to remove the mask and be yourself.”
― Vadim Zeland, Reality Transurfing Steps I-V

“Do not watch how other people walk their path to success or try to keep up with them. Do not give in to the herd instinct. You have your own calling. The majority take the roads well-trodden but true success is achieved by the few who refuse to follow the rule “do as I do” and independently tread their own path.”
― Vadim Zeland, Reality Transurfing Steps I-V

This is all so beautiful. What shall I take with me today?

It seems that today you are softening. You are sensing the delicacy of ‘heaven on Earth’ which is the hidden and explicit prerogative of every human on the planet. Be with this today. Be with the soft, natural delicacy  of heaven on Earth. Today is a very good day to do this. The sun is bright and the light is strong. The light is strong on Earth today. Lay your attention upon the lightness on Earth today, and magnify it with the gaze of your attention. 

I will. Today I will sense the delicacy of heaven on Earth. Be with me, oh Source of my Being. Accompany me today. Delicately, as you do. May we all, today, magnify the lightness upon the Earth. Blessed be all humans today. Blessed may we be, in the naturalness of our soul state. Amen.

Sense the delicacy of heaven on Earth 

Yesterday (Monday), I felt sick to my stomach on waking up to recall the world’s situation. But I threw myself into ‘uncomplicating’ the day, and my goodness, that helped. I gave myself the timetable I’ve been working on, but tweaked in recognition that we have to limit desk work carefully or we’ll be subsumed by it. I gave myself two ‘Big Mind’ sessions – 10am-12pm and 2-4pm, with a big break in the middle. And I did Busy Mind stuff around that across the day. And it was good.

And then, yesterday afternoon, the news came that the PM’s daily CV19 briefing was being moved from 5.15pm to 8.30pm… Something was afoot. Sure enough, ‘new restrictions’ aka lockdown was at last announced. What a profound moment in human history we are living in.

By this stage, I must admit, I just feel relieved that we’re responding. We’ve had plenty of time to look at Italy and Spain and see that lockdown was on the horizon. Over the past weekend, the main places of leisure having been shut (pubs, cinemas, restaurants, gyms etc), people instead flooded out into the parks and beaches. Yesterday morning, with trains on restricted service, each train was packed with commuters.  The supermarkets have been heaving. So, the social distancing thing wasn’t taking care of itself and the government was being acutely criticised for being too vague about what was being asked of people. So now the set up is as follows:

It’s amazing to think that a mere 7 days earlier (Mon 16th Mar), it was me who had to make the call to cancel a training day I was due to deliver (on Tues 17th), despite the major UK charity and the head of staff wellbeing at a massive local employer thinking that gathering 24 staff together for completely non-essential training was not in the least bit problematic…

A mere few days ago, most of the UK was living in a dream that we didn’t have to change our behaviours. It took so long to shake off the idea of people ‘not minding if they get it’ and so carrying on with business as usual. It took so long for people to accept that everyone has to adapt, not merely for themselves, but to protect the NHS staff and vulnerable people (old and young). We can be very self-centred people…

But what is astonishing is that it really was the government that pushed the BAU policy – touting the ‘herd immunity‘ dream while at the same time making some vague comments about ‘flattening the curve’. Why? To protect the economy. If it cost a few thousand lives, well heck, what of it… Amazing… a) to put economy before lives and b) the brave idea that by letting the whole population get infected you wouldn’t break the economy anyway through having hospitals and homes overwhelmed by… people dying passim.

I truly wish blessings and wisdom upon this government. I wish us all humility, nobility, the strength to overcome our lower natures, and the ability to evolve as communities, nations and as a species. Amen.

*****

Let’s read….

Oh, this is so good for today and for this time:

TRANSIENCY: When we realize the everlasting truth of “everything changes” and find our composure in it, we find ourselves in Nirvana. Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transiency, we suffer. So the cause of suffering is our non-acceptance of this truth. The teaching of the cause of suffering and the teaching that everything changes are thus two sides of one coin. Zen Mind p102-3

So of course, this is big news for an Aspie like me: Everything changes. But equally, I do see here an invitation to settle into my most uncomplicated, unchanging routine, so that I can flow with the changes with ease. It’s about taking out unnecessary change so that you can flow with universal changes. Here we are all working from home. How powerful it is not to be getting in the car each day to go here, there and everywhere… In the past, I have burned up so much precious fuel on shimmying, hustling, popping up like Where’s Wally leftrightandcentre. Am I here to burn fuel? No. We are here for STO, right?

In truth you are here to enjoy the unfurling, to surf the waves of vibrational tuning, to revel in flying in the frequency updrafts. 

Right. That’s a little less heavy, less worthy… less resistant than ‘STO’. I like that. And how would you suggest we apply this today, in these days?

***

G just came along and we had a really important and beautiful conversation about managing in these times, when other in our lives act in difficult ways, or are triggered or mean or dismissive or disdainful or appear uncaring. Very softly, he talked about how nevertheless we ‘continue being loving’. It was so helpful. And it resonated. So, while ‘everything changes’, we ‘continue being loving’.

I’ll take that. Your thoughts on ‘continue being loving’..?

***Out of time for today. I’ll come back to this tomorrow! Ty***

Continue being loving

Yesterday was a Saturday and our first day in moderate lockdown – as in, all the pubs, restaurants, cafes, gyms and leisure centres are now closed, except for those that can operate as takeaways. On Friday, the schools closed their doors to all but the children of keyworkers. All school GCSEs and A-Levels have now been cancelled, and most universities have given up on end of year exams too. Already, the UK healthcare staff are posting truly shocking, heart-rending videos reporting full intensive treatment units, a shortage of ventilators, and an overwhelming lack of protective (PPE) clothing – and we are only at the beginning of the crisis. The key workers are begging us others to stay at home. They are saying, ‘We are staying at work to look after you, we ask you to stay at home to stop the spread of the virus.’

Italy had an unspeakable day yesterday, losing some 800 souls in one day. Army trucks rumble through Lombardy transporting the bodies of dear beings who will have no funeral, and whose loved ones may not have been able to say goodbye, let alone be with them in their last hours. And so, bit by bit, the world has put itself in quarantine. Countries have asked their people to go inside and stay inside. For the first time in industrial history, we have reduced our activity to the absolute minimum. And my goodness, for those of us lucky enough to be at home, something extraordinary is happening: we are stopping, resting, unwinding, hearing ourselves think. It’s not necessarily comfortable to hear your inner voice if you have been ardently drowning it out for years, but really, in these circumstances we have little choice but to… stop, collaborate and listen to ourselves?

Yesterday, I felt myself unwinding like a child on a swing which had been wound up taut and was just starting to unwind, gathering speed. I had to lie in bed with my eyes rolling about in my head til about 2pm. Eventually, I got dressed, and G and I went for a walk in the woods in the spring sunshine – how lucky we are to live in the countryside. How amazing it is that with no social centres open, for so many, our only activity available outside the house will be going into nature with the people with whom we are self-isolating. My goodness, the air felt so fresh, and the light and scents so vivid. The chatter of the birds was scintillating. Quietude is bringing my awareness back to life. How dulled I have become by my busy mind and my constant self-propelled human urgency.

In the evening, G, A (DD2) and I ‘went to the pub’ at the end of the kitchen, and had cocktails. Then we had dinner in front of the tv and set out to choose our shared boxset for this indoors season together. Tonight, for Mothers’ Day, we will gather five family households together on Zoom. These are extraordinary days. In houses families are resting and gathering in peace – some nursing the mildly affected, others simply nursing their anxieties about the pandemic, others nursing their boredom or frustration, many nursing the startling fact that they have lost their livelihoods in one fell swoop. In the evenings, especially in Italy and Spain, people are coming to their balconies to sing together, or to applaud the healthcare workers’ heroism.

Meanwhile, in our hospitals, a battle of unthinkable, unspeakable proportions is being waged by an army of cleaners, cooks, HCAs, nurses and doctors. Hosts of warehouse staff, grocery shop workers, delivery drivers, teachers and social care staff meanwhile risk their health too, in keeping the country’s show on the road. I cannot describe how much nobility and selflessness we are seeing – and also, sadly, how much self-serving cowardice, like in those major businesses who really could have stepped up to support but instead have, for example, simply sacked their entire workforce from one moment to the next.

Look at this beautiful film…

For my part, I woke up today, with an unfamiliar voice in my head. I can call it the Wise Director-Judge. I like it. I guess it was there all along, but drowned out by Busy Mind. I thought about how, as leader of the massive peaceful movements against the British, Gandhi would meditate all morning before making any decisions about the day’s next steps. All morning. And my goodness, the decisions he made were wise. well-directed, well-judged. This is what is available to us if we bring this Big Mind (expansive, meditative, connected, tuned in, parasympathetic state, non-reactive mind) to the fore. Right? What does it take to really give oneself over to trusting that, as it were, a morning’s meditation is more sensible than a morning’s busy activity?

It helps to think of the ‘morning’s meditation’ as a mental workout rather than a break/rest/chill out. This is how to access the Big Mind and bring it in to the day.

Imagine you are holding a tray, and the tray holds 3 glasses, each filled with water almost to the brim. You are asked to the take the tray of glasses up to the village, a mile away, on foot. We can guarantee that by the time you arrive at the village, having set your whole bodily attention so avidly on one (cognitively non-complex) task, you will have accessed Big Mind. 

The same cannot be said for 15 mins sitting in half-thought. 

Yes, that’s a helpful distinction. I guess that’s why the actual Zen position (lotus – which I am actually not using in my ‘zazen’) is mind-clarifying. Cos it ain’t comfy… I’m starting to get a sense of the edges of this Zen approach. It seems to offer such rich gifts.

How can I better access my Big Mind in these days. and be guided by the Wise Director-Judge?

Also, speak to me of prayerfulness.

Let’s read.

We are in Part 3 of Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind: ‘Right Understanding’.

TRADITIONAL ZEN SPIRIT:  We should understand why our physical posture and breathing exercise are so important. Instead of having a deep understanding of the teaching, we need a strong confidence in our teaching, which says that originally we have Buddha nature. Our practice is based on this faith.  … Whether you practice zazen or not, you have Buddha nature. Because you have it, there is enlightenment in your practice. The points we emphasize are not the stage we attain, but the strong confidence we have in our original nature and the sincerity of our practice. We should practice Zen with the same sincerity as Buddha. If originally we have Buddha nature, the reason we practice zazen is that we must behave like Buddha. To transmit our way is to transmit our spirit from Buddha. So we have to harmonize our spirit, our physical posture, and our activity with the traditional way. You may attain some particular stage, of course, but the spirit of your practice should not be based on an egoistic idea. According to the traditional Buddhist understanding, our human nature is without ego. When we have no idea of ego, we have Buddha’s view of life. Our egoistic ideas are delusion, covering our Buddha nature. We are always creating and following them, and in repeating this process over and over again, our life becomes completely occupied by egocentered ideas. This is called karmic life, or karma. The Buddhist life should not be karmic life. The purpose of our practice is to cut off the karmic spinning mind. Zen Mind p99ff

I love this. I read here a similarity between the Wise Director-Judge and acting from our Buddha Nature. Like they are similar concepts to me. And they are about developing practices which get us back into our original non-ego-driven state. ‘The purpose of our practice is to cut off the karmic spinning mind.’ As I read this chapter I kept hearing the work, ‘Uncomplicate’. Yes. It’s different to the elusive idea of ‘simplifying’.

Could I find the ways in which I complicate my life, and life itself?

Could I acknowledge that in complicating my life, I make myself less available to my truer nature?

Could I see that, if I uncomplicate things for myself, I can participate more effectively and honestly in this extraordinary moment in humans’ history?

Can I admit that, my life is too complicated for me to offer service?

Can I own that, I think that ‘complicated’ is clever, and I’ve been putting complexity out there to impress people – and effectively have ground myself to a halt that way?

Softly. Softly. Do not chastise yourself. 

Wise mind. Inner self. Wise Director-Judge. Help me uncomplicate myself and my life. Give me this clarity of mind, I pray.

There we are. You have answered all your own questions. Take yourself out in to your day with this word and see how it flows through you… 

Uncomplicate

https://youtu.be/MfI1b_zcX2w

Now you have done that epic trip to bring your wee girl home, it is your time to batten down the hatches, both physically and in terms of ‘thinking’. Do you remember the notion of the Calm Interiorised Mind? Now is the time. Now is the time to take that deep breath you have been longing to take for months, and to settle in to your mind, your knowing, your intuitive states. There will be rest, and in rest there is always greater insight. 

It feels like, in the window created by this devastating pandemic, I have the much-yearned-for opportunity to be like one of those writers with their rigid daily routines, and cut-off-edness from the outside world – and their ability to access their inside state and be creative and productive. What bliss. What BLISS.

And I don’t mean to cut off from people. No. I have a case online today – my first. Perfect! I can go about my work without picking up exhaustion from travel and all the interpersonal-presence shocks to my body… I will be more helpful this way. I am blessed by this. I am finding that in this crisis there is light – and so must we all, to maintain our highest frequency in service to the situation at hand.

Let’s read…

NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE: Whatever you do, even including not-doing, that is our practice. That is an expression of big mind. So, big mind is something to express, but it is not something to figure out. Big mind is something you have, not something to seek for. Big mind is something to talk about, or to express by our activity, or something to enjoy. Zen Mind p92

Ok! Excellent. So ‘big mind‘ is akin to this Calm Interiorised Mind. This is the state, friends. This is the natural Aspie state, where all is peaceful, blissful, coherent. This is the state that ‘being out in the noisy NT world’ rips me out of. I know this… And it’s not just about Aspieness, it’s about the HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), the empath, the introvert… As we go into social distancing and self-isolation mode, I’ve been loving the memes from introverts and Aspies about us being ‘way ahead’ with this etc.

It’s such a gentle, tender thing, but this situation is reminding me that I’ve been trying to mask and act as a NT to my absolute detriment. And I don’t need to.

Look at my G, and my DD1 – living (richly social) lives online. There’s no need to go into NT burnout. Ok?? Ever again? Ok?

It’s more than just a case of ‘it’s ok to stay at home’. It’s also a case of this: the work you do when you are in Big Mind state is precisely what is needed in the world. You are not needed out there frazzled. We want you to find ways to get deep into Big Mind – and stay there – because that is when you are tuned in to the frequency required to do your work well. 

Yesterday, I realised that ‘sensing the love in your heart’ is about tuning, tuning, tuning and modifying… until you can tune into the love that is always there. It’s not about looking and hoping to find. It’s about tuning.

And tuning into Big Mind – and spending the day there – is what this time invites you to do. This is the breakthrough you have been looking for in terms of collecting yourself and being true to yourself. You know when you are in Big Mind state. You know when you are in the Calm Interiorised Mind state. Bask in this pool of connectedness, dear soul. It’s inviting you in. 

Settle into Big Mind today. Big Mind is dreamy, it’s focussed, it’s spontaneous. It’s the parasympathetic nervous system. It’s light. It’s aware. It’s calm. It’s micro and macro all at once. It’s the artist at the canvas. It’s the surgeon with scalpel in hand. It’s awareness with lightness. It’s peace inside, peace outside. Hold the vibration of Big Mind today and you will truly start to reconnect with yourself. 

1 thing?

Complete the previous one.. 

Ah… Sure. Visit J. next door… Ok.

Can I say, I’m so glad to have this beautiful home? And I’m so relieved my Girlita is home. And please look after my beautiful Girlimus Maximus. And all of us. Blessings upon this planet today. Blessings, light, love and peace upon this planet today and each and every day. Amen.

Settle into Big Mind 

Say these words: ‘This is the best day of my life so far.’ And know it to be true. Know it to be true because you have never been on this planet with as much wisdom, life-skill and knowledge as you have TODAY. Yesterday you had masses of wisdom, life-skill and knowledge and today… you have more. All the tools and skills you need to thrive, to appreciate life, to commune with life and spirit, to help other people, to navigate life’s magnificent obstacle course, are in you today like never before. And guess what, tomorrow, you will have more! 

That’s a beautiful perspective in these remarkable days.

There really only is only skill to practise in this life, is you want to ensure a blossoming, joyful and peaceful old age, and that is: appreciation. If appreciation of your self, of life, of others and of the planet becomes your default state, you will simply grow in inner peace daily. 

Know, sweet soul, that you are being HELD. Know this, through and through, and your struggles, your suffering, your doubts… they will ebb away. Do you know that you are HELD by an army of supporters? Do you? Each of you are. None of you is alone in this day. Not one. 

Your choice to suffer is, unbelievably, with you. We know this sounds trite, and in the circumstances of your planet today, we know that our words may shock. But hear this, sweet soul: if you truly new the circumstnaces of your human life, you would all throw yourselves into the fray of helping eachother while you could. You would not hesitate to support each other, especially not out of fear of infection. Nor would you let tiredness stop you, for you would discover that the softest, deepest help can be offered to another soul, from the comfort of your couch. Be it sending a text, or prayer, or reiki… your capacity to support one another in this time is endless. And your army of supporters are really there to support you to support others. That is how the physics of it works. 

You are a speck of creative force, so your supporters are here to help you evolve as such. Creativity is known by its fruits: true creativity (which is Source outmanifesting) uplifts, inspires, moves and helps others. So your supporters are here to help you to do what uplifts, inspires, moves and helps others. As you step into the stream of helping others, your supporters will really be able to get the wind beneath their wings. 

You saw that yesterday, in the freshness of the new social distancing guidelines, as you and others leapt online to support each other and to connect despite the circumstances. What a sociable, flowing day you had yesterday. You were all in the STO flow. And your supporters were able to flick up the hem of your beautiful skirt as you spun round. 

Thank you, Supporters. So, they are like an army of good energy bearers?

We prefer ‘council’ to army.

Cool. A council of good energy bearers. Waiting for me to plug my finger into the socket between them and the people around me. So I can be a channel of good energy.

Good. Let’s read…

COMMUNICATION: If you try to adjust yourself in a certain way, you will lose yourself. So without any intentional, fancy way of adjusting yourself, to express yourself freely as you are is the most important thing to make yourself happy, and to make others happy. You will acquire this kind of ability by practicing zazen. Zen is not some fancy, special art of living. Our teaching is just to live, always in reality, in its exact sense. Zen Mind p88-9

To me, as an Aspie soul, this speaks of dropping ‘masking’. And what a relief that would be. I get this feeling that, in moving into the online world as a result of this pandemic, there will be far less need for masking. I can’t tell you how much relief I have felt these last few days about not having to go out, dressed up, into other people’s spaces, and follow their neuro-typical ways in their loud, crunchy, awkward environments, overloaded with psychic clutter and energetic noise… Eek. Did I just say that out loud? Well, here’s me ‘expressing myself freely as I am’, and yes it does make me happy to speak my truth.  And the truth includes this: I love connecting with people in the online world! I’m only just understanding this. I’ve been throwing so much energy into navigating the physical, interpersonal world… And online probably felt it wasn’t tough enough so it wasn’t the real work…!! Like I couldn’t focus on online while I still had real world work to do. Like online was a distraction or luxury I hadn’t earned… But yesterday I enjoyed:

• a long call with my sister while walking
• a Zoom lunch with my children and their grandmother
• a Facetime meeting with a colleague
• a Zoom meeting with a work friend
• constant WhatsApp banter with family
• AND a walk in nature, the pleasure of comfy clothes, the freedom to take breaks as I wanted, enjoyment of my lovely home, the company of my G at his desk next to me…
• AND a sense of the fun of connection – so much better than heavy old email or clunking meetings.

I hear you though: helping others is where it all comes alive. And in these current circumstances, we are all in the spirit of helping eachother.

You are welcome to let that spirit of helping others GROW, safe in the knowledge that our lives improve on so many visible and invisible levels when they are geared towards helping people. 

I’ve had a block, haven’t I, over recent months? My work ostensibly is about helping others, but my days have been geared towards helping myself, defending myself financially, and proving myself professionally. I have even hidden my true self, in projecting a NT professional profile, thereby removing from myself the happiness of freely expressing myself.

‘Giddily helping others’ is a thing. It refers to our headlong tumble forward into the work of STO. When we get the feel for it, we scale up. Free self-expression is the catalyst. 

Ok. This is good. So my message for today? (I’m driving 4 hours each way to collect my precious youngest from uni today. The year’s  exams have been cancelled, and bar a few online lectures for the next four weeks, the academic year is over til Oct. It’s currently mid-March…)

The archetype for today is: The Sage. The Sage listens deeply, and speaks freely but little. The Sage knows so very much, and carries that wisdom both lightly and at the fore. The Sage is able to support others, and is supported as she does so. The Sage is unruffled by circumstance because she knows that ‘this too shall pass’. For the Sage, life gets better and better as she learns better how to navigate it, and as she loosens herself from burdens.

The Sage has only love in her heart as she has no need for fear. 

What one thing would you have me do today?

Sense the love in your heart. As you drive, feel it, nurture it, expand it out, revel in it. Your heart is a magnetic instrument. Magnets grow in attractiveness the more you play with them. Play with the living sensation of love in your heart, and see what happens. 

Sense the love in your heart.

STUDY YOURSELF: [T]he purpose of studying Buddhism is to study ourselves and to forget ourselves. When we forget ourselves, we actually are the true activity of the big existence, or reality itself. When we realize this fact, there is no problem whatsoever in this world, and we can enjoy our life without feeling any difficulties. The purpose of our practice is to be aware of this fact. Zen Mind p79

***Zazen***

Tell me about this forgetfulness of self, please – and how it emerges from self-study. And how it relates to slef-dealership, and to Helping People. Your thought for the day?

The word you are interested in is ‘alignment’.

When a person is in direct alignment with their inner being and highest self, they ‘pop out’ of the cycle of self-concern. This is to say that they become less laboured, less intense, about their own decisions and cares. They not only have a sense of peace and satisfaction, but they also are wiser, more efficient in their decision-making, thus saving themselves time and energy otherwise spent on wheel-spinning. Furthermore, their comfort around STO [service to others] gently and instantly slides into a higher gear – hence, ‘helping people’ becomes easeful and natural (rather than a performance or a chore). 

And how best to we get into direct alignment with our inner beings and highest selves?

You have a range of practices to experiment with playfully. These practices help to shift you into alignment, and as you become familiar with the feeling of alignment, you become both more skilful at sliding over to it, but equally, you become more enthusiastic about staying with that feeling because it feels so good. Gradually, ‘being out of alignment’ becomes akin to stepping into a cold shower. You’d rather not go there. 

Cold showers are meant to be good for us though…

And in truth, once you have mastered alignment, you do get good at going into people’s ‘out of alignment’ space, in the spirit of a paramedic: you don’t intend to get injured/ill like the patient, but you intend to use your good health to help them get out to safety and support. 

Compassion, vs empathy. The empath might take on the suffering state of the other; the compassionate person maintains enough frequency to be able to take action to prevent and alleviate the suffering of another.

So, if you are in alignment, you are better able to be compassionate?

Exactly so. 

And with this in mind, what one thing would you have me do today, this day of days as Covid-19 invites us to change our ways and better our lives? 

Master your alignment enough to reach out to your elderly neighbour and offer her your help. 

Will do. Ty.

Master your alignment