Author: Dialogues Of Discernment

“Here I am, playing in the Garden of Eden. This is me, in Eden, and all is well. This is me, here I am, here I am and this is me, in Eden, playing…” What a calming, affirming, soothing, delightful commentary on my days this has been over the last few days.

At one point, as we hastened to the venue of a mediation meeting, I thought of my colleague mediator, the highly experienced solicitor and mediator who had invited me to co-mediate with her: ‘She has given me such wonderful opportunities to develop as a mediator, ever since I met her. She really is an angel in my life.’ And two seconds later, she nodded up to the church directly opposite the front door of the venue, and said, “Ooh, angels!” We’d never spoken in these terms before. What a confirmation, of the friendship, but also the notion of our being in a heaven on Earth according to our perceptions. 

My perception of my world is key. I can look at the same vista or circumstance and say “This is hell” or “This is heaven” – and be right. To proclaim ‘heaven’ in any circumstance is to be free on a belief in the apparent ‘conditions’ of reality. It is to sense the presence of perfection, the motion towards completion, the invitation to pour in love… in that and every moment.

It is noted that you are getting better at prayerful communication. 

I am trying to. I am returning to this. My prayers are different these days. Less hapless supplication. More trusting declaration and invitation. My frame of mind is different. My connection upwards is more vividly visualised, partly from the qigong work in which one practises visualising an energetic connection with a source above one’s head. What more can I learn on the topic of prayerful communication?

It is wise to be patient with oneself and not to reach out too frequently, but to be really specific, targeted and humbly reticent in seeking divine assistance. This way we do not dilute our days with ‘dribbling’ prayer, but we summon communicative energy and deploy it carefully. Our faith is increased when we see direct impact on the objects of our prayers. 

So you’re saying, take one thing in your day and pray about it, and then watch that single thing evolve…. rather than take a prayer scatter gun to your day.

It’s about the ‘target slide’ or the ‘clear intention’. Your ‘single aim’ is the leverage for understanding how thought creates things and circumstances. But lightly done! As ever, lightly done. No effort, importance, slapping of hands on the water. We gently ‘take’ instead of pleading emotionally. We are learning to deploy thought carefully and with ‘aim’. We ‘help ourselves’. 

Interesting concept: ‘we help ourselves’. Of course two meanings: assist ourselves and take things for ourselves (as in, ‘help yourself to biscuits’). I love that.

I’m helping myself to quiet time.

I’m helping myself to an ordered house.

I’m helping myself to better pay.

I’m helping myself to rest after a busy week.

I’m helping myself to get dressed and start the day.

I’m helping myself to a Sunday lunch.

And what’s on the target slide? 

Ah. What’s the end aim..? I see myself able to do the things I want to do, according to my personal credo of ‘We can all be happy’. I’m helping myself to time to write, mediate, share, communicate, write, mediate, meditate, share communicate, exercise, play, play, play.

So is it a case of learning to reach out, and help myself from the banquet of delights before me?

Feast or famine of opportunity is an inside job. Attending the Feast as either guest or server, is an inside job. Feeling free to help oneself from the buffet, is an inside job. Knowing the banquet has been laid on for us all, is an inside job. Reach out. Help yourself to the goodness before you. It has all been laid out for general public consumption. Are you alive, here, today, on the physical plane? Well then. All choice, rich pickings, delights, opportunities, goodnesses and treats are there for you to help yourself too. And they won’t run out. Welcome to the Garden of Eden. Help yourself. 

EXCEPT FOR THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE, amIright?

Precious child, there is no Tree of Knowledge. You were duped by that ruse. All is abundance. All is creative juice. All is Love. And Love is endless and without condition. Welcome to the Garden of Eden. Help yourself. 

Got it. Thank you for this. And may I share this sense of abundance with the guests we have to stay today. And with all with whom I come into contact this week. May my prayerful communication centre on this playful, appreciative, fun practice today and beyond:

Today I am helping myself

Feeling the feeling of “Lucky me!”-in-my-heart is such a subtle practice. Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m bringing my ‘feeling’ heart online. Curiously, on the day of my last post, recommending working with feeling the feeling of “Lucky me!”-in-my-heart, a stranger approached me and told me I had a ‘white heart’. What is this business with the heart? What is a heart-centred life? I’m being prompted, by circumstances, to take a leap of courage with my professional life in the coming few days. Can a heart-centred approach give me that courage? And is the leap more about courage, or surrender?

Dear soul, on this occasion, your surrendered state is not required. You are invited to hold immense poise, and raise your head up, above the parapet – yes, to the air which you have believed to be rife with flying bullets. You are invited to raise your head into the open air and discover that space to be not only safe but radiant, beautiful, heavenly. 

It sounds like a kind of mini-death.

It is a death of some egoic (fearful) thinking. How does that sound? 

Hairy. But I’ve done it before, this going beyond my egoic thinking, and the build-up to it, is always worse than the doing, and the fears are rarely borne out, and the ensuing cheery relief is generally palpable. In other words, I know it to be worth the leap. What is my egoic thinking here?

You fear being ‘shot down’. 

Hence the flying bullets analogy… Yes. I can see that. I’m reminded of another analogy I picked up for myself a couple of days ago. I was working with the ideas of Tamsin Hartley in the Listening Space – in particular ‘Choose an Object’. As you can see in the lovely video, Tamsin guides you like this:

• Choose a concept or issue you’d like to work with
• Tune into your breathing
• Look all around you
• Choose an object that somehow represents the concept or issue you’ve chosen to work with
• What drew you to that object?
• Is there anything else that drew you to the object?
• Is there anything else that drew you to the object? (Repeat the question several times until there is nothing else forthcoming)
• And what do you know now about the concept or issue?
• And what difference does knowing this make?
• And would this be a good place to leave it?

The other day, I can’t recall the issue I’d picked to work with, but I remember picking the broken chandelier lying around near me as my chosen object. I felt drawn to it because:

• it had been a light-giver once, but was now unplugged
• it was once glamorous but now dusty and missing crystals
• it was not in its right place
• it had the capacity to be restored to use… or shoved in the loft

All quite insightful to how I was feeling…!

Let’s use Tamsin’s process on the theme of ‘being shot down’. 

Sure.

Take a minute to tune into your breathing, before looking around the room, and choosing an object that represents ‘being shot down’. 

For some reason it’s the large tudor (or not far off) chest.

What drew you to that object? 

It’s bulky, visible, beautiful but also in the way. Laden with family history and history. It’s about 300 years old! It was my great Aunt Vera’s (I think). I can’t get rid of it, but I can’t store it either (in this new house). It’s blocking up the bedroom. I used to store my diaries in it, and it’s heavy with history.

Is there anything else that drew you to the object?

It’s followed me around from house to house. I’ve never really liked it, but I probably quite like the ‘statement’ of having a really old piece of furniture. I guess it makes me feel fancy. And I generally manage to use it for something.

Is there anything else that drew you to the object?

I can’t get rid of it. It’s a dark history piece. Literally, a heavy chest. You could keep a body in there. Like skeletons in the cupboard. Stuff might leap out at any moment.

Is there anything else that drew you to the object?

I want to be free of it. It makes me too vulnerable. I can’t ‘move on’ with it lurking about. I need to be more agile. Not to run away, but to live freely.

Is there anything else that drew you to the object?

I hate it. It’s a pandora’s box which could fly open at any moment. It’s heavy yet unpredictable. I need to move away from my past. How do I cut the cords, and start afresh? How do I leave behind, or release, the stuff that makes me cower in a dark, coffin-like box? How do I purify and lighten, bring light to, the past. My past, our collective past? How do I release, heal and cure the past? How do I cleanse the space I live in, materially and psychically? With intention I suppose. And action.

Is there anything else that drew you to the object?

The sunlight falling on it… That’s all.

And what do you know now about the theme of ‘being shot down’? 

I think of my past as being carried with me, in a negative, heavy sense – and that it makes me feel inflexible, non-agile, bulky, vulnerable – and nervous about the future. I know that it would be easier to approach life with a sense of ‘and here we are now, and now, and now’. I know I feel inclined to ‘cleanse the past’ and purify it. I guess my past needs to be seen, appreciated and let go of.

And what difference does knowing this make? 

It tells me I need to MOVE the energy of my space and heart. It tells me it’s ok to celebrate what is NOW, no matter (and because of) the past. It tells me the present is in the present. It tells me that when I get better and better at feeling the joy of the present moment, which is voiced in my heart, I will cease to worry about being shot down if I stick my head above the parapet. This is a really sensory (heart-centred) process. May I get in closer contact with my heart, and it’s present-moment voice, every day.

And would this be a good place to leave it? 

Almost… What’s the message…?

‘May I hear my heart better.’

Yes, that is it… Thank you.

Today I am hearing my heart better, now and now and now…