sleep Archives - Page 3 of 11 - Dialogues of Discernment

2019-02-08

MEDS Day 81: Today I am a DOER (decide, organise, execute, result/repeat)

I am grateful for yesterday’s achievements, blessings, confirmations….

I started the 30 Day Qigong Challenge – wonderful to be back to QG – it’s so grounding and gathering. I love the emphasis on restoring vitality to the kidneys – just what I need.
I felt in high spirits and happy
I enjoyed my work calls – especially in the spirit of being out there
I had a curious run in with someone, and it was good to talk it through with G.
My Dad’s recording is getting some really positive attention. 🙂

Today, I am aware that I have a LOT to do, to keep work moving forward and move house. (Also… there is something on my mind I need to look into today, bravely.)

This morning I finally finished the main text of Reality Transurfing (751 pages, started 15th April 2018) – just the Glossary to go, but that will be a good revision. The final three paragraphs serve as a good reminder of the whole book:

The world is a mirror of your relationship with it only with a delayed reaction. By comparing your relationship to the world with the subsequent reaction of the mirror [ie your apparent current reality] you teach your mind a simple truth and yet one that is difficult for one’s consciousness to truly assimilate: You shape the layer of your world with intention.

It is also essential to become comfortable with the simple but strange truth that you do not need to be concerned with the means and ways of achieving the goal. One fundamental principle lies at the foundation of this statement: the focus of intention determines the vector of the alternatives flow.

All you have to do is maintain the focus and let the alternatives flow takes its course. The means of achieving the goal will present itself. You cannot and need not know exactly how the goal will be realised. Whatever happens, if you keep your target slide in mind and observe the principle of coordination the alternatives flow will carry you to your goal. Such is the law.

(Vadim Zeland, Reality Transurfing pp750-1)

The idea of holding the intention in mind has been the driving factor for setting an intentional “I AM…” statement daily here (and in some previous diaries). Starting with the end in mind… Affirming the outcome before it is made manifest.

What is my best intention today and in life?

To serve those you can with whatever you can.

Since I started studying post- and near-death experiences in c1997, I’ve been fascinated by the notion that the purpose of our lives is to get on, to unite, to serve, to bring joy to each other, to appreciate/honour creation, to develop ‘spiritual limbs’ for the next world/life. Equally, I’m fascinated by how our inbuilt default operating system, the ego, is set (or hell-bent?!) on heading in the opposite direction, towards separation, othering, winning, jazzhanding, standing out, glamour, disunity, tribalism, judgment, scathing, complaint, scarcity.

I’m also interested in my own autism (self-ism?!) and how it does and does not serve my higher purpose to unite with others. There’s a whole book there. It’s all beautiful. I k autism to be a spiritual gift. More anon.

My next question. How can I best hold in mind, joyfully and persistently, the intention to ‘To serve those you can with whatever you can’ and how can I do so without lending it way too much ‘importance’ and creating vibrational overload?

The best way to hold the intention to serve in mind consistently and yet lightly is… your gonna love this… to get organised.

Why get organised? For you, dear precious soul, this is about freely channelling your ‘special interest mind’ and your practical energies. You have a general longing to connect and give and serve. Get organised in order to channel this longing in to the icing dispenser which will give you accurate and precise AIM to decorate the cake of your life as you would have it appear.

If you got truly organised, you would note that you have too much on in your life. The reason you don’t get organised is that the way your life is set up it doesn’t actually fit in to the time available. You are busting out of your suitcase, so much to that you can’t actually shut your suitcase and travel; instead you make do with leaving it open on the floor with stuff tipping out of it. You call that living.

Harsh, man…

We are rallying you to a new way of life. Very simple. Very streamlined. You want to serve others? Really? You’re going to have to sacrifice the fluff, the fear, the frenzy, the hand-flapping, the slapping water, the misfires, the confidence-boosters. What do you want to do? Hm? What is your service? Why aren’t you doing it now? And now? And now?

Maybe I am!

Name it.

To love, to honour, to create happiness, to foster unity, to resolve conflict, to empower people to move beyond mental ill health…

Good.

Now get organised. Because intentions like that attract nonsense energies. Ok? You know what we mean. And it’s now more than ever. You need to be clean, lean, mean. This is why your word of the month is DECIDED.

Ah yes… That book, about foxing the devil or something. I remember it’s main tenet: don’t be a drifter.

You decide and do your Work. Or, you drift and get diverted. There’s no middle ground. You can have good intentions, but if your first intention isn’t to ACT vigorously, resiliently and steadfastly, then the other intentions are mere tumbleweeds on the prairies.

Wow. How do I get energised around being DECIDED?

Again: get organised. Decide, organise, execute, repeat…

Ha! “DOER”!! Excellent! I AM a ‘DOER’; I decide, organise, execute, repeat. Ok. I’ll practise this today.

Yes. Test it out. Only with tracking the decisions, and then observing the results, will you convince your mind that it is safe/wise to make strong DECISIONS. Your heart knows its truth very clearly. The mind is the slow one. Retrain your mind to be a DOER. Start small and work up.

Thank you. I love this.

Today I am a DOER (decide, organise, execute, result/repeat)

2019-02-06

MEDS Day 80: Today I am focussing gently on being ‘out there’

Lady_Godiva_(John_Collier,_c._1897) Herbert Art Gallery Public Domain

An intense yet beautiful day yesterday. I found it helpful to bring together the knowledge of ‘I am loved’ alongside the internal strains around supporting my father to share his brilliant work (not to mention endless technical difficulties). Eventually we were able do a recording – I felt my heart just opening up and soaring as he spoke with such genius and eloquence in front of the recording devices. At the end, he said he might cry… It was terribly moving. He is such an extraordinary thinker. We even managed to upload the recording to Soundcloud. Amazing. Did I feel loved? Yes, I did. In Dad’s own inimitable way. Much of the love was expressed in his… trusting me with his thoughts, concerns, worries, yearnings. Thank you, darling Dad, for that trust.

And this morning, I woke up to a text from my beloved youngest – the much longed for ‘first text of the new term at uni’. Yes – the cycle of love is all bound up in the generations.

So, today. A restful working day at home. I’ve taken time to reflect on the MEDS protocols again.

MEDITATION: use Quiet Time with coffee in the morning as my time of reflection, inspiration, writing, reading, prayer. Some of this is formal sitting meditation, but much of it is about building ‘loving awareness’ (Ram Dass) of what is through interacting with the written word, and settling/directing my thinking-mind, and settling my state of consciousness.

EXERCISE: yesterday as I was puffing through Day 16 of the 30 Day Yoga Challenge with the wonderful Adriene, it dawned on me that, with the return of adrenal fatigue again (really since Dec), maybe even yoga is just too much for my body to accommodate without sending out stress signals. in other words, the yoga may be leaning on my adrenals, and ironically, thus making me fatter and more inflamed. But I love the variety of the 30 day challenge – it overcame the issue I had of trying to chose a qigong video every day. I suddenly thought – surely someone has done a 30 day Qigong Challenge?! And yes! I like this guy already. Going to start his challenge today. Thanks for everything this month, Adriene – maybe I’ll be back!

I’ve created a tracker I can use to note the day’s exercise each day:

DIET: My aim this month is to get my head (and impulsiveness) around Intermittent Fasting. I’m going to get The Obesity Code as an audiobook when my phone arrives (ordered one today at last!!!). I had this idea to just start becoming aware of my eating window, with the principles of:

‘delay don’t deny’
hunger is often thirst
my kidneys and adrenal glands need rest, detoxing and bolstering
water/broth/bouillon/tea/electrolytes/ACV instead of food is generally more than fine!
late night snacking became a thing…
Dr Bergman has coffee with cream and other liquids until 1.30 – and actually I think that might work for me
just need to check that delaying breakfast isn’t putting unnecessary strain on my kidneys [DRINK THE DRINKS (in the morning – not just coffee) and it won’t be a strain at all!]
my new tracker will be a good aid:

The thing about printed trackers dotted around the house is they both remind me visually when I’m at certain, associated spots in the house, and they give me instant kinaesthetic feedback when I fill them in. Also, for the Obliger type (low internal accountability; high external accountability) – the tracker acts as a gentle kind of SEA (system of external accountability).

SLEEP: I’m spinning on 6h30… You know, I think S is for STRESS as much as SLEEP. Stress reduces my ability to sleep. They are intertwined. I need to arrange my worklife so it is less stressy, like G’s. He works from home 95% of the time. He is not darting from place to place losing energy. Time to get the Acuity Scheduling sorted for offering my online services. It’s nearly there!

Well this is all nice and productive. Today’s messages?

Good work, dear soul. Do you ever get the sense that messages are trying to get in, and you are busy pushing them away?

Not really. I try to be open to them.

What about the ones which would leave you feeling like Lady Godiva riding naked through the town?

Hm… Yeah I maybe do dodge those ones.

That is the cause of your stress.

What?! Oh my lordy be… What is this funny old world like?!!

Lady Godiva rode naked through the streets of Coventry ‘to gain a remission of the oppressive taxation that her husband imposed on his tenants’. In other words, in your language, she ‘took one for the team’. The term Peeping Tom comes from that incident, when a man called Tom looked out at her passing by. But mostly, people looked away as she passed, to protect her dignity, and honour her sacrifice.

And this is to say…?

Mostly, no one looks, stares, or points when we do something for the greater good. But fearing ‘the reaction of others’ is what paralyses most people from acting altruistically. You feel ‘naked’ when you do something for the greater good. But in reality, that feeling is just your self-consciousness (aka ego) making noise to distract you from your actual (soul’s) purpose.

So, what things am I dodging doing out of a fear of feeling naked and exposed? Let’s revise this please.

Ask yourself.

I am! 😀 Ok…. Let’s go inside…. What things am I dodging doing out of a fear of feeling naked and exposed….?

Publishing and Marketing come to mind. It’s hardly securing the remission of taxes for the townsfolk… but these matters do hit that sweetspot of ‘should do but it feels like high risk self-exposure’….

Bingo. A worker’s work is to be worked ‘out there’…

I’m hearing the encouragement. Maybe I need another tracker, for the daily ‘Publish/Marketing’ work. Tbh, my new phone will help. It’s been hard to be ‘out there’ with a phone that is so full it can’t accommodate apps like LinkedIn, Twitter, IG, FB, WordPress… It’s just got to be part of the morning ritual hasn’t it? That’s what worked before… And while I was doing Plan/Publish/Yesterbox even before the Quiet Time hour, I think I’ll shove it into the working part of the day now – this is my Work Morning Ritual kick off.

Current Morning Ritual:

Kitchen – coffee, machines, supplement, lunch planned, straighten up
QT – Quiet Time – writing, reading, meditation (aka Inspo hour – I know, but it fits..)
Body Hour – 30 mins Qigong; 30 mins Shower/dress
Office Hour – Plan, publish, yesterbox, finances
Lunch

Focus gently on being ‘out there’ today, dear soul. You have worked so hard on being ‘in there’. It’s just brilliant, and we see you shining and radiant and internally peaceful. Now, it’s time to be ‘out there’ shining your light in the world. Ok? It’s not just about money and earning – why should it be when your work is now geared so obviously towards helping others? But it is about riding confidently through the streets so the people who need help can find you. Be brave. Be out there.

Today I am focussing gently on being ‘out there’

2019-02-052019-02-05

MEDS Day 79: Today I am learning to be loved

I am grateful for the achievements, blessings, confirmations of the weekend:

As per the encouragement of the last Dialogue: on Saturday, I got out for a beautiful walk in nature, and basked in the snowy hill views and bright sunshine – after which I had a brief power nap in the arm chair, and then happily did 3 hours work (law firm follow up), and a little bit of packing before G arrived.
On Sunday, G and I did masses of decluttering. I’m amazed when I look at what I’m managing to thank and decide to release (thanks for the beautiful example, Marie Kondo). When I think of lugging those items into my future life I recoil. So, old and tired items are not coming with me to my future life, and that feels good and dignified (especially as I’m recycling/donating carefully). Easier to do now I know I have some money to replace items… so the timing must be right for these big sort outs.

What other good decisions can I make today? I’m off to see my father very shortly, to record him talking about his work (for the first time).

You can decide to love him (your father) with all your heart and soul.

Wow. That’s powerful. Thank you.

To love and serve our elders, and especially those who gave us life, is paramount to the human’s development. It is the essence of appreciation for this life we have been born into. It requires forgiveness and a sin-concealing eye. It requires humility. It requires the ability to look into ‘what is’ and dismiss our ideas of ‘what should have been’.

I will meditate on that as I drive up to his house. Thank you very much for these insights. I know where they sit in me… I’m grateful for this opportunity to learn to do it right, or at least better…

You are much loved. Few people on the planet love you as fully or as deeply (as does your father). Feel that. Let it in. Cherish and absorb his love.

As you well know, a parent’s love is a selfless love. But a wise child learns to interact with that love, and learn by it, and be nurtured and transformed by it. The love of parent to child is, literally and metaphorically, a divine love. It is the love of Source for the created Being. Mingle with that love, stand in its pools, and be transformed by the loving gaze of God.

Today I am…

Learning to be loved

Wow. OK.

Today I am learning to be loved.

Oh gosh. I just remembered as I put the date in to the box… Today is the 10 year anniversary of my beloved Mum’s stroke. This is why I suggested today to be with my Dad – though I didn’t mention that to him at the time.

Let your father love you as your mother did. Approach him. Let his love for you be paternal and maternal. Your mother is with you.

2019-02-04

MEDS Day 78: Today I am DECIDING…

Well it’s been quite a hiatus. (I last posted nearly a month ago – so ‘Day 78’ should definitely be ‘Post 78’!) It’s been a busy and successful January in many ways. Work has been very busy. Moreover, I was (incredibly!) successful in going CAC Free for January. I’m so pleased! However…….. I barely lost weight!!! 6 pounds. Upping and downing in weight and size… It was a mixed experience – and the bottom line is probably that stress and lack of sleep delete many gains from dietary discipline.

Here’s my learning from a month without Carbs, Alcohol or Coffee:

CARBS: While I gained energy from being 90% carb free, I realised that it was going to take much more than just restriction of carbs to create inner balance and optimal health. I NEED to be stress-free, well-rested and well-slept for my body to cease being inflamed – otherwise the insulin / adrenaline / cortisol s**tshow is still calling the shots, and my gut continues to be a biotic-storm. I’ve now upped my supplements / ACV / green powder drink. And I’m aiming for some Intermittent Fasting or Time Restricted Eating in Feb, to allow my gut and system to heal between meals. I’m going to download The Obesity Code by Dr Fung as an audio book when I get a new phone.
ALCOHOL: I’ve been really blessed to have a Dry January. I’m gently letting it roll forward. I know I’m only one evening’s ‘treat night’ away from a habit again. It’s a shame that I seem not to suit the ‘moderation approach’, but I know (eg from the lovely Dry Jan facebook community) that many, many people are in the same boat wherein abstinence is simply the securest and healthiest way forward.
COFFEE: I didn’t think I’d manage this one as I’ve had daily coffee for 15 years with one short-lived break in 2016 – but I did it! – so, a real victory for willpower and inner patience. However, I’ve brought coffee back in now, because a) it didn’t seem to make much difference taking it out, and b) I missed it in a fond (not cravey) way and found that tea was much less of an incentive to get out of bed in the morning. I don’t like tea so much first thing in the morning, and unless I’m going to get rid of caffeine altogether, losing coffee per se doesn’t seem so helpful. Also so many of the keto dudes talk enthusiastically about the role of coffee for them either for fat (eg bullet proof coffee, with MCT powder) or for fasting (as an acceptable drink).

So what about the MEDS overall now?

Meditation: I’ve been doing short 10 min meditations – all good. Not a deep practice at the moment, but I’ve often had 5am starts for work this month, so what you gonna do? Little and often is a fine balance for now. And I’m just appreciating the morning routine of QT + Meditation… then,hop out of bed. I could incorporate more Mindfulness in my training delivery – that would get some in during the day!
Exercise: My younger daughter got me on to the ‘Yoga with Adriene 30 Day Yoga Challenge’ on Youtube. I love it! I’m on Day 15, so I guess I’m doing a session (20-30 mins) every other day – not bad when it’s been so busy. Where I’ve really fallen short this month is on aerobic activity. I stopped the trotting, as I was leaving the house early for work, and it’s been bloody cold. My Steps haven’t been too bad, but I need to get more hill walks in, or swimming, or cycling. Let’s move house (eek – in two weeks) and then use that lovely open space, and G’s companionship, and the lengthening evenings… to get a new rhythm going. I’m tracking ‘active minutes’ and ‘av calories burned’ on a weekly / monthly basis now.
Diet: see above (CAC) – I’ve really appreciated the emphasis on ‘protein and veg’. I suspect, while I haven’t lost much weight, I’m less full of gunk… I didn’t get the full ‘purification’ I got the year I did Veganuary… so I realise that I need to tweak things as I go.
Sleep: Man alive, this has been my achilles heel. I’ve been stuck at 6h30 average per week, which is NOT enough. I need, frankly, to nap/siesta more, and relax more, and keep my body less in the contracted state. As noted above, this is now the remaining critical factor for my health. I will get there!!

And on writing these posts…? Why the month’s pause in writing?

I went out there with DoD as my strapline for my business, and hurriedly put this blog on maintenance mode…. which seemed to shift my feeling about it!
I think I needed just to get on with the new regime (CAC) and all the business work at hand…
Maybe tracking everything here had become a bit laborious – especially once the public tracking had successfully pushed me into taking radical action on my dietary intake!
I felt this was becoming a bit of a lifestyle blog… when what I really need is the DoD with myself… I was becoming orientated to the assumed ‘reader’, not to the Dialogue.

So where am I at with this blog series, and with the MEDS Project? Nearly time to wind up? Maybe. I suspect so. I’m going to drop the tracking on these posts as it was. I’m tracking Steps, Sleep etc (via my FitBit) in my Planner, so maybe I’ll share the odd photo here, and that will cover it.

My desire is, really, to get back to checking in with my inner being and its lovely, infinite, nourishing, nurturing personalised life lessons. So, here we are….

Dear heart of my soul…. Long time no see. Thanks for the awesome set up with the CAC Free project and all that we have been processing, achieving and learning away from here too. Good to be back in touch with you in the written form. How are you?

Eternally happy, content, proud and delighted with all that is seen through your physical eyes.

I’ve missed this.

We haven’t missed a thing. All is present to us now and always.

May I ask you. What do you think I’ve learnt in the last month?

Restraint. Reliability. Focus. Determination. Self-determination. Optimism. Decision-making. The power of your decisions.

Yesterday, I determined that my word for the month ahead (Feb) be ‘Decided’, as in ‘I decided’, ‘I have decided’, ‘I trust my decisions’, ‘Now the decision is made, the fun begins’… Did this come from you?

Of course. You asked us about what focus would benefit your mind as a fruitful ‘occupation’ for the month, recognising that the mind is best equipped to benefit the person’s reality when given a positive ‘end goal’ focus (as opposed to unrestrained access to ‘things to fret about’ and thus manifest!). Then you reached in, in a meditative state, and collected the offering from the platter inside you.

Firmly-made, optimistic DECISIONS are portals to your best next realities.

What decisions have I hesitated on recently, that I could make firm decisions about and thus benefit my future reality..?

Why not list the many ‘firmly-made, optimistic DECISIONS’ you actually have made?

New home – great choice by the way
New logo – awesome (AT, DoD)
New booking systems for your business
New ventures for your business
Huge amounts of decluttering and releasing a la KonMari (each item consciously decided upon)
The future of your CAC Free regime
Starting the 30 Day Yoga Challenge
New weekly planner (and letting go of the daily Full Focus Planner)
New health tracking protocols
Asking for dignified rates of pay for work done

I’ve been playing with a phrase I surmised from Reality Transurfing (which I’ve almost finished). I think it’s fitting…:

Everything is unfolding wonderfully

Infinite intelligence within me, speaking to me at whatever highest frequency I can arrive at to connect to you with… How can I make ever more confident, swift, intuitive decisions, on a daily basis? How can I dissolve hesitation or doubt sooner?

Reduce the ‘importance’ you attribute to things. Say: ‘It’s not important whether I choose A or B. What’s important is to choose and act.’

As in… ‘Brexit means Brexit. Let’s get on with it.’?

The difficulty around Brexit is that the result was pretty much ‘undecided’. There was no ‘clear’ decision. Mainly because the ‘choice’ at hand was never truthfully laid out. This is a perfect example of choosing without full information taken into consideration. So there’s a tip for you for good decision-making: gather as much neutral information as you can – and then stop, consider what you see, and plump fully for a decision that your heart and mind can get behind.

What if my heart and mind have got different protocols for decision making? Then they become Leavers and Remainers, battling over the winning decision.

Here is the power of consultation. Allow the heart and mind to consult the facts fully, until the truth emerges in plain sight for both to throw themselves behind.

You say ‘until’… What if they need longer than the time available?

Practice. It takes practice, and being unafraid about the consequences of making the ‘wrong’ decision – hence the initial comment about attributing less importance to the decisions at hand. Imagine you make a 100 conscious decisions, and get 50 of them wrong. You have still made more progress than had you made just 20 hesitant decisions in the same time period.

But what about all the time ‘undoing’ and mopping up the 50 wrong decisions?!

Were they 50 ‘wrong’ decisions – or were they 50 hypotheses tested and then tweaked according to resulting data?

So, some things you can’t know the answer to until you test out one way or the other… Makes sense. That gives me confidence. And less of a sense of haplessness in the face of getting resulting data that shows that the ‘other way’ would have been more beneficial.

I’m reaching the end of MEDS Project. Though I haven’t solved my health issues, of weight gain and adrenal fatigue. What other decisions do I need to make?

Lady, you need to get out in nature again! There is no way you can revive your energetic field whilst sitting indoors, engulfed in EMFs, with no direct sunlight, and no access to the healing waves of luscious energy (QI!) flowing abundantly out of the Earth and her plant world.

Well, that was a clear enough answer! 🙂 Thanks! And yes, so true. I’m looking forward to living in a rural environment again in 2/3 weeks time!

It will do you SO much good! Just ‘get out the door’! Can you do that today, city-bound as you are? It’s snowy, and sunny!! The fields are GLORIOUS! Get out the door, lady!

Ha! Yes. Um… What about my work (law firm follow up) and packing boxes?

Let’s put this to you again… Lovingly. Deeply lovingly. Ok: *strong voice* “Lady, you need to get out in nature again! There is no way you can revive your energetic field whilst sitting indoors, engulfed in EMFs, with no direct sunlight, and no access to the healing waves of luscious energy (QI!) flowing abundantly out of the Earth and her plant world.”

When you get back you will a) be revived and energised, and b) realise that you don’t need to work again til next week…

But I do want to do the law firm follow up…. 🙂

Then you shall have the energy and clarity of mind to do it more swiftly after a walk in nature. And then you shall have the nap you wanted. And then you shall pack. Awesome.

Then it is DECIDED. I shall go out for a good hearty walk. Then I shall work. Then I shall nap. Then I shall pack. And then my lovely G arrives. Good day. Thank you!

Today, I am DECIDING…

2019-02-02

MEDS Day 77: Today I am sensing joy in my heart

I am grateful for yesterday’s achievements, blessings, confirmations….

Starting decluttering for our house move in mid-Feb – it’s begun!
G amazingly unpacking my huge box of old laptops and phones, plugging everything in, firing it up… and saving gigabytes of precious data for future use. Oh my goodness what a blessing. Especially the photos of and by my girls, and my beloved Mum.
G’s epic stir-fry – making going carb-free feel like a darned treat…

‘Sensing the heart’ has been a really good practice…

It was time to return to the practice.

What about this ‘charitable heart’ business?

Rectification of error. You know what an impact errors make upon life. It is charitable to support others in rectifying errors. And thus can you rectify your own.

Karmically?

Psychologically, as much as karmically.

I ask you, with a prayerful heart, for guidance on this.

‘Hallelujah, anyhow’

We sang this in choir… I love this song.

♪ Hallelujah Anyhow ♪ (official lyrics)

I believe I’ll testify
God’s been good to me
Through every test and trial
I’ve got the victory
The enemy has tried his best
To make me turn around me bring me down
But my God’s never failed me yet
So I’m gonna stand my groundNo matter what comes my way
I’ll lift my voice and say
Hallelujah anyhow’.Wait a minute one more time
Think I’ll say it again
God’s been so good to me
And He’s my closest friend
I’ve come to far to turn around now
I’m gonna stand I’m gonna wait
Watch God work it out somehowNo matter what comes my way
I’ll lift my voice and say
Hallelujah anyhow’…

Prayer emanates from the heart when it is uplifted – uplifted ‘anyhow’. Falling in to the happy cracks between our seriousness is a vital part of rolling into a state of ‘charitable heart’. No one needs more dour charity. The best charity comes in a spirit of freely-given and -received JOY. So set yourself today, to the work of sensing JOY in your heart, and feeding it’s kindling flame.

Today I am sensing joy in my heart.

********************

MEDS Trackers Jan2019:	Day: Sunday
Med&Ex: Download Hour – Med \| Aerobic \| Qigong	Nope
Diet: Chopchopchop – mindful, plant-based food	YES
Sleep: Sleepstate: 9Screens, 10Books	Nope
Med minutes	0
Active minutes
Steps
Food: 9am: Berrocca/linseed shot; muesli; tea	Eating window: 9am
Dry?
Screens off
In bed (with books..)
Sleep Window
Hours slept (as per FitBit data next morning)

***********

2019-01-06

MEDS Day 76: Today I am just tracking my MEDs…

MEDS Trackers Jan2019:	Day: Sat
Med&Ex: Download Hour – Med \| Aerobic \| Qigong	0:0:0
Diet: Chopchopchop – mindful, plant-based food	YES
Sleep: Sleepstate: 9Screens, 10Books	No
Med minutes	1
Active minutes	0
Steps	5570
Food: A pretty good Low Carb High Fat day. 🙂 9am: Berocca/linseed shot; tea 12: sausage&courgette; tea; dried fruit w dark choc 3: cucumber with pate and cheese on top 8pm: chicken and veg stir-fry (no noodles); water; cranberry and sparkling water; nuts/100%choc; hot cashew milk and cacao powder (good antidote to carb cravings)	Eating window: 9am – 11pm 14 hour window! (I want to start thinking about reducing this to 8h)
Dry?	YES. Day 5
Screens off	/
In bed (with books..)	/
Sleep Window	00.58 – 8.33
Hours slept (as per FitBit data next morning)	6h42

***********

2019-01-062019-01-06

MEDS Day 75: Today I am sensing my heart

I am grateful for yesterday’s achievements, blessings, confirmations….

I had a GREAT day of planning out potential future ‘achievements for achieverisation’. My new wall calendar and Action Day planner arrived, and I set them up to make use of the focus (which I developed with the Full Focus Planner last year) on weekly, quarterly and yearly planning and reflection – but now based on lightly anticipating and then spotting, collecting and revelling in all the ABCs (achievements, blessings, confirmations)
I loved writing down the achievements I knew would float in without my trying, and the ones which I can lean in to and unleash gently… It was fun and I felt a sense of possibility, ease, simplicity and playfulness.
I’ve already lost four pounds. 🙂
My eldest hosted me and her sister in the evening, with an amazing rabbit stew she had made herself. We talked and laughed together. It was bliss. I love my girls so much.
This video from Abraham-Hicks filled my heart and spoke to all the forward-facing joy I’ve been leaning into over the last few years, and learning how to master, day by day by day. Thank you, dear Esther Hicks – you have been a life-changing teacher to me for 10 years now. I’m so grateful. This newer ability to jump into celebrating achievements, blessings, confirmations comes v much from you. And from my G. who constantly gives me great cobweb-wiping gusts of joy, pride and awe.
Evening: qigong while listening to more Abraham-Hicks and then great reading on Robin Amis and Seth Godin – with my mind on form… Yes! Ty for sobriety again.

So today. I’ve started a new marketing approach – sharing quotes of brilliant writers in my field on social media. It’s a way of ‘offering simple help’ in that it’s food for thought, inspiration, encouragement… It also honours the writers I owe a great deal to. We’ll see if it flies! Any thoughts?

You are starting off the year as you mean to go on: with simplicity, humility and purpose. This is excellent.

Humility?

In pointing to the work and wisdom of others. Good.

Ah, excellent. Yes, it’s a little less ‘look at me – help!’. The Seth Godin book is helping me reframe marketing. He reminds us it’s not a customer’s role to solve a business’s urgent problem (eg lack of customers). It’s the businesses role to solve the customer’s problem – having first taken the time to ‘see’ the customer as they are.

I’m going to the office today. I’ve got some big presentations to get done. That’s the kind of achieverisation that might intimidate a girl…

Offer. Simple. Help.

Simplify my presentations?

If you want them to fly. If they are so big and bulky they sadden you to develop them, imagine what it will be like on the receiving end.

Noted. 🙂 What else should I know and bear in mind today?

Last night you were touched by G’s notes on Robin Amis‘s words – especially on the theme of ‘prayer of the heart’.

Yes! Let me go back to that. G’s notes of his meeting with Robin say:

Prayer

“Prayer of the heart – 1/2 way between meditation and prayer. This was used in a different way, an inner way to transform oneself, to make one open and serviceable to God.”

“Western forms of prayer ‘inflate’ people, they get excited over results which prevents the full benefit. Inner arousal is OK, but the activity of the psyche burns it up.”

Ref. Isaac of Nineveh re. methods of preventing this.”

Who is Isaac of Nineveh?

Wikipedia says…

‘Isaac of Nineveh (c. 613 – c. 700), also known as Saint Isaac the Syrian, Abba Isaac, Isaac Syrus and Isaac of Qatar, was a 7th-century Syriac Christian bishop and theologian best remembered for his written works on Christian asceticism.’

Look at this quote…

“What is a charitable heart? It is a heart which is burning with love for the whole creation, for men, for the birds, for the beasts … for all creatures. He who has such a heart cannot see or call to mind a creature without his eyes being filled with tears by reason of the immense compassion which seizes his heart; a heart which is softened and can no longer bear to see or learn from others of any suffering, even the smallest pain being inflicted upon a creature. That is why such a man never ceases to pray for the animals … [He is] … moved by the infinite pity which reigns in the hearts of those who are becoming united with God.” Isaac of Nineveh

This is beautiful.

How does it relate to you?

I guess, with a charitable heart, or when in a state of ‘prayer of the heart’, I am less self-focussed? Maybe then it’s easier to do the work I need to do, because I am ‘burning with love’ rather than ‘squirming with fear/concern/self-consciousness’?

You are terribly harsh on yourself sometimes, but yes, it is certainly a case of the centre of one’s intention shifting from self to other, which as we noted yesterday and the day before, is helpful in making any kind of human progress.

How should I begin?

By centring in on the sensations of the heart. Now you have stopped sealing it over with coffee and booze, you have more access to its messages.

Ok. I can do that. Today I will centre in on the sensations of the heart. Is that right?

Today you are ‘sensing your heart’.

Got it. Tysm.

Today I am sensing my heart.

MEDS Trackers Jan2019:	Day: Friday
Med&Ex: Download Hour – Med \| Aerobic \| Qigong	10:22walk:0
Diet: Chopchopchop – mindful, plant-based food	YES!
Sleep: Sleepstate: 9Screens, 10Books	No – Fri
Med minutes	10 – the Abraham video
Active minutes	22 walking
Steps	9763
Food: 8am – Berocca/linseed shot; muesli; tea 12 – ACV water; chicken & courgette; piece of choc 4 – peanuts; seaweed crisps; water; tea 9 – broccoli&beef; cranberry&sparkling water	Eating window: 8am – 9.30pm 12.5h
Dry?	Yes! Day 4
Screens off	/
In bed (with books..)	/
Sleep Window	23.13 – 08.21
Hours slept (as per FitBit data next morning)	7h57!

***********

2019-01-042019-01-04

MEDS Day 74: Today I am noting potential future ‘achievements achieverised’

I am grateful for yesterday’s….

Struggles, emotional and physical, on Day 2 of the CAC-Free protocols…. (Why do I give thanks for seemingly negative things? Melody Beattie teaches brilliantly in Make Miracles in 40 Days that it’s when we get genuinely grateful for the good, bad and ugly that the ice flow starts to shift… And I had an extraordinary experience of this with her 40 day project, in 2013/4, getting an out of the blue miracle job offer on day 40… The stuff’s good.)
Exhaustion, sadness, grief and numbness spiralling out of me as the detox did its thing
The strength to hold open the doors of surrender and self-compassion while my unresolved emotions wiggled out of the melting ice caps of addiction-based frozenness, and sallied on out of the building.
An important conversation with my love
This BRILLIANT documentary on fasting: http://dougorchard.com/wp/fasting/ – covering all aspects of fasting comprehensively, using new science. Ty! I’m looking forward to getting going with some Intermittent Fasting and Extended Fasting once I’ve settled into this CAC-Free regime. For now, I’m going to start noting my Eating Window in the chart below, to bring awareness of when I start and stop eating.
My daughter’s wholesome cooking, and then mine too. Carb-free is fine, especially when taking a Low-Carb-High-Fat approach in the style of the DietDoctor.com. And building in plenty of raw stuff for crunch and satisfaction really helps.
Discovering I have a backdated payment coming to me. Heavens, I am so blessed to have watched the tide turn. All is well. All is good. All is protected and warm.
Not thinking about alcohol. It was fine. The Dry Jan FB pages were v helpful too, in terms of seeing where others were in Dry Jan, and reminding myself I’d done this before and it’s going to be fine.

So today. Day 3 of CAC-Free. I slept well, and dealt with No Coffee by having some muesli breakfast followed by a cup of builders’ tea. Lovely. All fine. (I actually kicked off the day with a strong shot of berocca which got the old innards working again at last, after a long stand off – thank goodness – brain fog reduced instantly… )

I felt a bit confused about yesterday’s ‘offer simple help’ approach. Or self-conscious rather. Not wanting to publish the post… Maybe I was embarrassed to mix business with this writing about health/MEDS etc. But today, a day when I’m scheduled to review and action my marketing strategy for 2019, a book I ordered arrived, and it’s very nicely in line with our dialogue yesterday. So, yes, life can’t be categorised. And these inner dialogues are for all parts of my life. So, the book is This is Marketing by Seth Godin. He cooly challenges the over-weaning kind of marketing anyone might still lean towards:

“You’re not a cigar-smoking fat cat. You don’t work for a soap company. You’re not an obsolete industrial marketer. Why are you acting like one?” p8

He challenges us to take a different approach to offering our products and services to the world:

“Marketing is one of our greatest callings. It’s the work of positive change. … Marketing is not a battle, and it’s not a war, or even a contest. Marketing is the generous act of helping someone solve a problem. Their problem. It’s a change to change the culture for the better. Marketing involves very little in the way of shouting, hustling or coercion. It’s a chance to serve instead.” . p2

In other words…

Offer Simple Help. You’re welcome. 😀

Yes! I would like this year’s achievements to be about simple help offered and given. That would be nice. In December, I collated all my completed work and achievements, and it was such a nice process and I felt so strengthened to reflect on what I had done, and been granted the opportunity to do.

I want to make this year gentler for myself in the following way: Instead of listing tasks and goals for ticking off or crossing out (and leaving myself with a year’s worth of scrawled and thus neutralised crossings out), I intend to pencil in potential achievements ahead, and then write over them in ink afterwards when and if done. I can rub them out if they are not done, in the knowledge that if they weren’t done they weren’t meant to be. At the end of the year, in my lovely Action Planner (which I hope will arrive today) I’ll have a record of achievements achieverised. That’s nice, soft, and a good recognition that everything we do beyond keeping ourselves alive is ‘gravy’ to the meal – especially if we are orientating our efforts towards an intention to offer simple help.

Lovely. And so much softer, compassionate and encouraging than the Goal Orientated approach, which is much more A-type than your-type, if we may say. You can note down ‘blessings’ and ‘confirmations’ too – that gives space for the incomings of grace, mercy and miracle. And, dearest friend, it gives you a satisfactory acronym… 🙂

Achievements, Blessings and Confirmations. ABC. Yes indeedy! High five!

Let every offer-of-simple-help-accepted, every task completed, every blessing received, every confirmation manifested…be witnessed and marvelled at! This is the work of living on the bright side of the coin. The more we SEE the problems unravelled, the solutions activated, the immense ease with which the universe meets our needs, the more our intentions can be realised – smoothly, gently, effortlessly.

Be playful with the notion of achievement. It’s all a gift from the source of all creation and wonder. Let it in humbly and with a sense of awe.

For now, lay your mind’s eye on those potential future achievements you sense to be coming in on the tide for your very simple, effortless ‘achieverisation’. Smile them in to shore, welcomingly.

Today I am noting potential future achievements achieverised.

********************

MEDS Trackers Jan2019:	Day: Thursday 3 Jan 19
Med&Ex: Download Hour – Med \| Aerobic \| Qigong	10:10:10 YES!
Diet: Chopchopchop – mindful, plant-based food	YES!
Sleep: Sleepstate: 9Screens, 10Books	Nope…
Med minutes	10 (silent)
Active minutes	12 (good trot)
Steps	6000
Food: Muesli; tea; chicken&cucumber in a lettuce wrap; home-cooked rabbit & veg stew (by my eldest); 10 jelly beans; peach squash; a few pork scratchings before bed (!); licorice tea in bed. AWESOME.	Eating window: 10.30am – 10.30pm = 12h
Dry?	YES! Day 3
Screens off	Whoop… 11.30
In bed (with books..)	11.30 (Good reading!)
Sleep Window	12.40 – 7.40
Hours slept (as per FitBit data next morning)	6h12m (a bit short!)

***********

2019-01-032019-01-03

MEDS Day 73: Today I am learning to ‘offer simple help’ in 2019

Yesterday was New Year’s Day 2019. I am grateful for yesterday’s….

Being my first alcohol free day in a long time…
Courage to start the Carb/Alcohol/Coffee-Free (CAC-Free) protocols for much-needed renewed health, wellbeing and balance.
Wisdom to allow myself to start the coffee-free day the following day when I wouldn’t have a steaming new year’s eve hangover
Lunch with family and friends
Cosiness with G soaking up the last of Christmas
His tenderness towards me as emotions arose in me due to a mixture of my hangover, tiredness, and trepidation about tackling my addictions head on…
An afternoon and evening of complete wipe-out on the sofa with the TV

Today is the 2nd Jan. Day 2 of the CAC-Free protocols. I had an unsettled night with a LOT of concerns coming vividly and repeatedly to the surface for resolving and healing. It was as if the body-mind knew that there would be no more damping stuff down with the substances which numb the emotions and mute their messages….

The wisdom of no escape.

Yes! Dear Pema Chodron… (see her book of that name)

I woke finally and my mind reached excitedly for coffee. No coffee today…. So, unusually for me, I went back to sleep for a much-needed extra hour. Here’s the thing – coffee was so good at kicking me out of bed no matter how tired I was, when I needed to get up and go to work or the school run. Life is different now and my mornings have more flexibility, therefore it’s actually better for me to be able to have a full sleep, than lurch out of bed at first waking, under-slept but hopped up on “here-comes-coffee”-excitement… So. Good. NO COFFEE aids full sleep. Excellent. And I know that in time NO ALCOHOL permits more unbroken sleep too. In terms of the MEDS, we’re moving forward with DIET and SLEEP nicely.

In terms of emotional reckonings though, my heart could have burst this morning… What is this connection between the heart chakra and coffee? Coffee seems to close it off tight, invulnerable…

And then the feelings can’t be felt.

Right. And that’s no good in this time we’re in…

I feel very happy to have got off the hamster wheel of CAC…. I feel well-supported by online Facebook groups I follow: Dry January, Veganuary (not that I’m going vegan this Jan, but it’s so good for conscious eating), Dr Fung’s network. People are sharing their trepidation at ‘going without’ and their small/large victories as they roll in.

I have to say I am physically not in good shape after a year of feasting – and a full-on free-for-all this December (My ‘Feastive’ Season? 🙂 since I decided to go CAC-Free in Jan). I’m more overweight than ever at 165lbs; I’m achey; I’m brain-foggy; I know I have raging gut candida; I am zapped of energy; I’ve been supremely constipated for nearly two weeks now.

So, there’s lots to gain and look forward to! I know what I’m doing… I’ve got this. I’m going to start feeling so much better soon. And I’ll track the results. And that will make me pleased, relieved, happy and motivated.

And the cravings? The emotional surfacings? The sense of ‘no escape’? I plan to use the technique Dr Harry Barry taught at the conference in Nov: flooding. In my version of this treatment typically used for for panic attacks, I’m going to let the feelings flood me fully, yet not act on the impulse to react (ie with eating, drinking or emoting in an unhelpful way – crying’s fine btw!), and just wait for it to pass, with huge doses of self-compassion and encouragement. According to Dr Barry, with flooding, the brain notes the non-reaction and learns quickly that the impulse is not needed or welcomed, and steps down its messaging faster and faster the more you do the technique. It literally rewires us.

Today I also wanted to talk about ‘helping others’.

What did you want to discuss?

This quote from Tony Robbins… “The reason you’re suffering is you’re focussing on yourself.” (When you’re focussing on yourself, you’re locked in to the brain’s ancient survival software.) (Tools for Titans, Tim Ferriss, p212). I sooooo dig this. I think there’s magic in this statement. It’s not new, and it’s borne out in all the Buddhist writings, and many (all?) great religious texts. It’s just this quote sums up something so important to me. If I really want to lift out of depression, or feeling swamped, then yes, my self-tracking and self-observation is helpful, but the Next Level, is definitely a focus on others as opposed to self.

We know about STS v STO (service to self v service to others) – but the word “service” is loaded. I may want to serve others, but in seeking to be of service, I can trip too easily over my own sense of self-importance. I am prone to creating ‘excess potential’ or ‘balancing forces’ as Reality Transurfing puts it. Similarly, if I expect to earn money, payments should generally be a reflection of the positive, helpful energy I have deployed via my ‘services’ – the term ‘services’ is close to ‘being of service’, but frankly much more pragmatic.

I got a beautiful picture for Christmas from my gorgeous God-son, and it seems to sum up this sense of being ready to step out of the hermitage and join in with the wider world. That bridge from solitude, or tentativeness, or self-recuperation…. to the full richness of community life: friends, colleagues, customers, readers, allies, teachers, mentors. Not that I’m not a little bit there but… in terms of ‘helping others’, we all have scope for widening our nets, don’t we?

And maybe the picture can be interpreted the other way round too, as one going from ‘many services’ (on the left) to ‘one service (which we do well – on the right). G talks about the woman who couldn’t sell the jams on her stall – she worked so hard and had 20 flavours of jam available! Why wouldn’t they sell? Did she need to offer yet more flavours, she wondered? A wise adviser suggested she remove all flavours of jam but one really good one, and just sell that. Guess what? It flew off the stall table. Why? Maybe because customers weren’t confounded by choices to make? Maybe because they sense the maker’s complete confidence in her single product.

There is a great deal to be said for the simplicity of ‘helping others’ in one, easily-defined, easily-accessible way.

Like a doctor sits in a surgery and sees patients. It’s a kind of standard procedure.

We see where you’re going with this. A clinic approach.

So many people (not doctors, I should add) set up their clinics, and no one comes. Others get flooded with interest. What’s the key here?

To be authentic, and original.

Aha. Meaning..?

Bring yourself to the party, not your qualifications or past track-record.

Let people know who/what/how you are? (I can feel I’m shy again here. Let me tune back in to you… I realise I’m also very brain-foggy because of 24hrs without any carbs…!) I’m listening.

On the theme of ‘helping others’ there’s something you should understand. ‘Helping others’ in the way you mean is a reward/privilege granted in the wake of some considerable personal sacrifice. When we have undressed ourselves of preconceptions about what it means to help others, and really, really, really prepared ourselves for the job, we can begin. When we discussed ‘clearing the decks’ and ‘simplifying’ in past weeks and months, this is what we were alluding to. That said, ‘waiting to be ready’ is not what is being asked of us.

How can I do requisite preparations for a 2019 which involved widening the net of ‘helping others’…?

Simplify, beyond belief.

Really? :/ But I’m really good at over-weaning, soul-cluttering complexity….

It’s time to become really good at simplicity.

I can see that while I’m weighed down by too much stuff, too many ideas, too many hopes and dreams, I must come across as a bit…. psychically cluttered?

If you arrived at the doctor’s surgery and the room was so full of gadgets and miracle machines and books and papers that you couldn’t see the doctor, and the doctor couldn’t examine you, wouldn’t you feel a bit short-changed for your visit? A bit unwilling to trust their practice, or return for a second visit?

But if I’m busy simplifying, that’s more self-focussing isn’t it? More suffering?

Offer Simple Help.

Ok. I can hear that. I think what’s going on here is that I’m looking for a ‘theme for the year’. I just dug out my 2018 theme for the year (PCPC)… I’d forgotten about it… I’m seeking direction and guidance to carry me through the year. In a somewhat brain-addled state because of adjusting to the new WOE (‘way of eating’ in Fungster speak).

Then let it be this: ‘offer simple help’

Really? Ok. I will… Thank you. I’m going to let us work together through concerns about co-dependency, over-caring etc…

You can carry on with your day now. It’s all ok.

Ty. <3

Today I am learning to ‘offer simple help’ in 2019

********************

MEDS Trackers Dec2018 (chart here):
Med&Ex: Download Hour – Med \| Aerobic \| Qigong	No
Diet: Chopchopchop – mindful, plant-based food	YES
Sleep: Sleepstate: 9Screens, 10Books	No
Med minutes	0
Active minutes	0
Steps	2849
Food: Celery, goat’s cheese and seeds Fish, roast greens (made by A.) Chicken breast and roast kale 100% choc Berocca, water, tea (with milk) Pork scratchings	Eating window: 11.30am – 9.30pm: 10h
Dry?	YES – Day 2 in the bag
Screens off	1am :/
In bed (with books..)	/
Sleep Window	1 – 9.30am
Hours slept (as per FitBit data next morning)	7h19m

***********

2019-01-022019-12-29

MEDS Day 72: Today I am saying “Heck, yeah!” to 2019

Benefits of Going CAC-Free in Jan 2019 and beyond...

I am grateful for last week’s:

Joyful, abundant, love-dusted, fun, easeful, happy, family-filled Christmas. What a gift to celebrate a family-focussed Christmas in a loving, collaborative relationship. G has shown me what it looks like to enjoy Christmas, to revel in it, to let it seep in to your bones and unwind you, to make space for the rites and rituals of fun and cosiness, to approach gift-giving with simplicity and pleasure, to put up a socking great Christmas tree and spend time each day admiring its twinkliness…

I am grateful for the wonders of 2018:

Our brilliant girls beautifully and uniquely self-launched. I’m in awe of them.
The first full calendar year with my wonderful G. How happy I am. (And as empty nests go, ours feels most fully-feathered – warm, cherishing, nurturing, fun…)
A successful first year of new business. We’re off!
Important family markers, some heart-rending, some joyous – but all held closely and carried tenderly by us all collectively as family and friends.

It’s the last day of 2018! I’m looking forward to 2019!

What are you looking forward to, dear soul?

I’m looking forward to the things that make me say, ‘Heck, yeah!’ when I think of them. This came from Tools of Titans – the chapter on Derek Sivers who said that once you have some success, ‘You need to figure out whether you’re feeling like “Fuck yeah!” or “No.” Because most of us say yes to too much stuff, and then, we let these little mediocre things fill our lives. The problem is, when that occasional, ‘Oh my god, hell yeah!’ thing comes along, you don’t have enough time to give it the attention that you should, because you’ve said yes to too much little, half-ass stuff, right? Once I started applying this, my life just opened up.”

What prospects for 2019 make you say, “Heck, yeah!” dear soul?

“Heck, yeah! In 2019 I’m looking forward to…”:

Cosy nest
Next phase of business
‘Automated’ days (‘Siempre, siempre’ housekeeping habits and work routines…)
Tracking the KPIs which inspire and invigorate me
Awesome family and friend times
Pretty dresses (thanks to CAC Freedom – free from Carbs/Alc/Coffee)
Travelling to new places for work or for remote work – or for R&R

I’m shy to say some of the things here…

The fact of the matter is, you are rolling forward in a spirit of joy, optimism, confidence, wellbeing, curiosity, satisfaction…

I am indeed. Heck yeah! What else is there that I should bear in mind?

What are your protocols for working?

Professionally?

Sure.

Housekeeping habits in the morning; ‘practice’ in the afternoon.

And how will you track progress?

I guess via income, but also success on the ‘fitness’/ MEDS/wellbeing front…

Ok. This is where we were heading. You finished 2018 at near burnout. You are daunted by 2019, if truth be told. What do your days need to look like for you to be ‘working well’ – ie. working to earn, but also maintaining progress on the indicators which show you are self-caring?

Ah. Yes. Well. I know how to answer this:

Delivering less training (especially bespoke training which takes so much prep) and more practice.
More online practice. eg via Zoom – same time every day…
Promote the work passim, so I am less inclined to agree to free gigs as a means to new business
Planning and tracking – weekly, monthly, quarterly – using Action Day planner and Daybook (exercise book, A4)

What KPIs will you track on a weekly basis?

The Fitbit stats:

Steps
Total floors
Total km
Avg daily calorie burn
Total active minutes
Exercising (of 5 days)
Avg sleep hours
Avg hours with +250 steps
Resting heart beat
Weight loss

And what KPIs will you track on a monthly basis?

The FitBit stats and Financial Stats:

The Fitbit Stats (month on month)
Sales
Expenses
Profit
Drawings
Total income
Total outgoings
Savings

And what’s it all for, dear soul?

What it’s all for:

To bring attention and awareness to the progress that is made. This is more effective for me than setting goals, which intimate and threaten me, and invite disappointment. I know this. Simple tracking helps. Like when I did Dry January in 2017 – just checking the ‘dry’ button each day was enough motivation to make me go 11 months dry… My mind loves to see progress building too – that’s very motivating for me. (I must learn how to do graphs…)
This is about the MEDS Project hitting its stride and completing… so that the next project can come through.
To be able to automate life processes so well that life is simplified enough to do the creative work of launching the next phase of the business, of being present to relationships, to enjoying all that life has to offer.

I’m a bit frittered of attention today… in terms of this writing. I’m conscious G is waiting about for me. But I really want to say this. Last year was amazing. Even just starting this writing online was life-changing. I am grateful for 2018. It was such a rich and exciting learning curve. I learnt to relax, to slow… to absorb love, to let go of old patterns, to watch and allow my children to grow up without wanting to tear my poor sweet maternal eyes out 🙂 , to be in the moment, to take brave decisions…

Like registering your company today. And setting up your KPIs. And working with your target slide. And counting the benefits of giving up – freeing yourself from – Carbs, Alcohol and Coffee tomorrow.

Yes. All of that. Thank you. Anything else I should know, do or say before today finishes?

Are you saying “Heck, yeah!” to 2019?

I sure am!

Well then. It’s all done. Happy new year.

Today I am saying “Heck, yeah!” to 2019

********************

MEDS Trackers Dec2018 (chart here):	New Year’s Eve….
Med&Ex: Download Hour – Med \| Aerobic \| Qigong	No
Diet: Chopchopchop – mindful, plant-based food	Nope!
Sleep: Sleepstate: 9Screens, 10Books	Ha!
Med minutes	Ho ho!
Active minutes	?
Steps	4k?
Food: Today was the last day before CAC-Free starts, so I took full advantage of my feasting rights… including a yeehaw last chance saloon visit to the Carb Colonel at KFC! Followed by a prosecco and cider-filled NYE.
Dry? 1/2 bottle prosecco and 3.5 pints cider!
Screens off	/
In bed (with books..)	/
Sleep Window	2.30 – 9.30
Hours slept (as per FitBit data next morning)	6h28m

***********